Tonight, I sat alone in the princess's new study. She had moved her offices to the sultana's study because the sultan had taken back his own study and begin government work again several days ago.
This was just one of the many changes that had happened recently. Ever since we found out about Jasmine's headpiece, the princess and I had searched for more of the former grand vizier's sorcery. There was plenty to be found.
Some of the palace pillows had sleep sand in them to induce heavy slumber. There were scores of enchanted uniforms and other clothing items. Half of the seasonings in the kitchens were tainted with magicked ingredients.
We also discovered that there were multiple charms placed on the sultan. The feather in the sultan's turban decreased intelligence and the turban's ruby magnified the sultan's loyalty to Jafar. Even the sultan's beloved wooden figurines used a special type of paint that encourage the sultan to play with them in lieu of doing his actual job.
It was a similar story with most of the advisors. They all had their own cursed gemstone, "good" luck charm, family heirloom, or some other accessory that was tailored to nullify their usefulness or foster their loyalty to Jafar. It soon seemed like there wasn't a single person in court that the sorcerer hadn't enchanted in some way.
Jasmine and I were doing our best to cleanse the palace of all these cursed items and the initial results were transformative. As I said, the sultan was now a productive member of government and last week, my new reorganization plan had finally started working as intended. With the palace suddenly full of intelligent, decent, and capable people, the court was flourishing.
Jasmine and I both had less work to do. At this point, we were approving more documents than we were drafting. Most of our time these days was spend in the magician's study trying to get through the remaining scrolls to ensure we hadn't missed any evil enchantments.
But despite the reduction in government work, I had still told Jasmine that once a week I wanted to have a full night of work in her study.
I was hiding in here, like a coward. It was shameful.
A few months ago, I would have been overjoyed by how my life was going. During the day, I got to be by Jasmine's side as Rajah and see how happy and productive she was. Then every night, I became human which was a miracle each time it happened.
My blessings didn't stop there. I was on speaking terms with the princess and we were friends, good friends. I had helped her save Agrabah from a national crisis. I was regarded as a mysterious hero in the court. I had made my mark on the entire city.
And yet, there were some days where I couldn't summon a fraction of the gratitude and happiness I should be feeling. Instead, I was often fighting off a growing sense of resentment. Everyone else had escaped their curse and received their happy ending.
Everyone but me.
I sighed.
In the study, I didn't have to conceal my bitterness or pretend that I was as content as everyone else, but it didn't stop the guilt. Like anger and fear, envy, bitterness, and resentment were emotions that were unworthy of a Mujulaai prince. I shouldn't need to indulge myself to deal with them. It was another weakness I had developed from my time as a tiger.
I sighed again.
I knew that my curse, my shame, and my lack of self-control were ongoing problems that weren't going to be solved tonight. Instead, I turned my mind back to the report from our new Shehrabad ambassador. Despite the favorable trade deals and other bargaining chips she had at her disposal, our ambassador was still being completely disregarded in the Shehrabad court.
I frowned. The ambassador wanted a transfer, but she wasn't the problem. Shehrabad's change in attitude was probably somehow Jafar's fault just like the issues with Getzistan. I had been the one to re-establish that relationship. I would do the same here.
I just needed to get some greater perspective and figure out the possible causes for the rift between Agrabah and Shehrabad. If it was like Getzistan, Jafar had not caused the issue directly, but had probably used magic to ignore the underlying problems and enforce civil relations. Uncovering the true reason behind Shehrabad's coldness would require going through trade contracts and correspondences that dated back before Jafar and maybe even before the sultan's marriage. I might also need to contact some of the older viziers to see what they knew.
I rose from the desk and was about to search the study to see whether it had any of the documents I wanted when I heard a knock on the door.
I looked over in surprise.
"Ren? Can you come outside?"
It was Jasmine. What was she doing here?
I went to the door and opened it cautiously.
There were no curious guards in sight. It was just Jasmine. She stood out in the hallway wearing her blindfold and smiling up at me.
"Good evening, Princess Jasmine. How can I help you?"
Jasmine scowled. "There's no need for that tone."
"I was just-"
Jasmine cut me off. "I know I'm supposed to leave you alone tonight, but I need you to follow me." She grabbed my arm.
"But I was working on the Shehrabad problem," I protested.
"That can wait," she told me as she tugged my arm. "This can't."
"Very well," I sighed. "Lead the way."
Jasmine shot me another smile and began pulling me out of the office and towards the gardens.
She was obviously excited about something. I tried to shake off my dower mood and let her enthusiasm infect me as it usually did, but I was finding it hard tonight.
I really had wanted to be alone.
*****
"Are you sure you know where you're going?" I asked, looking around. Jasmine hadn't taken me to the peacock fountain like I had expected her too. Instead, we were in an isolated part of the gardens that lay by the sea.
"Almost there," she promised as she dragged me through a bunch of imported willow trees. I held up my arm to make sure her way was clear and suddenly I knew we had arrived.
In front of us was a small clearing. A large rug had been laid out in the middle of the space. On it were several covered golden platters. From their haphazard arrangement, I could only guess that Jasmine had set this up herself.
"What's this?" I asked.
"Surprise!" Jasmine had a big smile on her face.
"Surprise?"
"You told me once that your birthday was during Makarsankranti, so I figured that your birthday is either tonight or later this morning."
"I...yes, well...but..." Words seemed to have abandoned me, so I decided to stop trying. Instead, I surveyed the picnic.
One of the odd things about my curse was that I was rarely hungry or truly tired during my human hours. I ate my food and slept in my tiger form, so I hadn't actually had a full meal as a human yet. The closest I'd come to it was an occasional midnight snack with Jasmine. Compare to that, this was a feast.
"Well, don't just stand there," she said tugging me again. "Sit down."
"Alright," I said.
I sat down on the edge of the rug and Jasmine followed suit. I took a deep breath in. Even with the covers on, it smelled like home.
"Come on," she said eagerly. "Open them."
One by one I lifted up the covers and revealed the miniature dishes. There were several different curried meats and vegetables, chutney, koshimbir, usal and chapati bread. The last platter held a bowl of peeled peaches and beside it, a bowl of fresh cream.
I took a fork. After I plucked a peach slice out of the bowl and dipped it in the cream, I brought it up to my nose. It smelled so sweet. I couldn't resist. I carefully stuffed the entire slice into my mouth.
Chewing had become a lost art for me. I was too used to being a tiger and having fangs, but at the moment, I didn't care whether I was eating correctly. The peach was a slice of paradise.
I let out a small moan of pleasure before I could stop myself. It was that good.
"You like it?" Jasmine asked, gleefully.
I looked over at her. I felt bad for how sullen I'd been before. She'd set all this up for me. Suddenly my face felt hot. "Yes. I do. Thank you for this."
"You're welcome," she said sitting back. "I was a bit worried. I had to ask around to figure out what some of the dishes were. I'm sure the kitchens got most of them right, but people can be very particular about their native cuisine. I'm glad it's to your liking."
"It's great, Jasmine," I assured her before taking a bite of the lamb curry. It too was delicious.
Though even if I hadn't liked the food, I still would have appreciated the gesture. "I can't believe you did this. You actually listened to me that one time I droned on about food for hours?" That conversation had been weeks ago before we had gone to the magician's study. I had been so sure that I had accidently bored her to death then.
"Of course!" she said indignantly. "I'll have you know, I'm not as flighty as I seem, Ren."
"So, you admit that you seem flighty," I teased.
She shoved me. "Hush you. Eat your birthday dinner like a good boy."
I didn't have to be told twice.
I love food. I never realized this until today, but I did. Everything tasted slightly different than I remembered. If you asked me before I came to Agrabah, I would have said peaches and cream was my favorite food, but now I was gravitating towards the meat curries and the usal.
Regardless, everything and I mean everything was like a breath of fresh air.
As a tiger I ate different cuts of meat. Sometimes I had goat instead of lamb. Maybe I'd go swimming and catch a fish in the ocean, but that was it. Today I really felt like a prince. I almost didn't know what to do with the food in front of me.
Almost.
I was so engrossed in the meal that I didn't realize Jasmine wasn't eating anything until much later. When I finally did notice that she'd been idle all this time, I felt guilty again. I had just sat and ate like an animal while she waited patiently for me.
Patient wasn't the right word for it though. Jasmine wasn't a patient person. She only pretended to be and right now I could see by the way her fingers were tapping lightly on her thighs that she was restless.
I put my fork down and asked, "Jasmine?"
"Yes!" she said sharply.
I blinked at her.
"Sorry...um. It's just...um...I never would have guessed you were so hungry. I hope you're not always like this. I'd hate to think I was starving you or something. What sort of friend would that make me, right?"
I wasn't sure. I had no idea what to make of her odd response. Luckily, Jasmine saved me from trying by saying, "I'm sorry, Ren. Please ignore that. What was it you wanted to ask me?"
"Oh." Right. My original purpose for interrupting my feast. "I was just wondering if you wanted..." I scanned the rug for something that was available. I had finished off most of the food which shouldn't have been possible. There had been so much. Finally, I spotted something I could offer. "Peaches?"
"I'm more of a pomegranate person myself."
"Oh..." Well damn.
"But I can try it," she offered quickly.
"Only if you want to," I said. I didn't want to force her to eat food she didn't like.
"I do," she assured me, but then she just sat there.
"Um..."
"Ren, I can't see anything, remember?" She gestured at her blindfold.
Right.
"So, feed me, or go back to eating."
I stared at her. She wanted me to feed her? An image came to my mind. That was not what she meant.
Surely not.
However, I couldn't stop thinking about it as I grabbed a new fork, plucked up another peach slice, and dipped it into the cream. At the last moment, I forced myself to place the fork into one of her hands like the prince I had been raised to be.
Jasmine used the fork to plop the cream-topped peach slice into her mouth. I watched as she closed her lips around the fruit and chewed.
"Mm," she said thoughtfully and then she licked her lips. There was a bit of cream at the corner of her mouth. Her tongue dabbed out and got it.
I shivered.
"That was pretty good," she said. "I can see why you like it as a dessert. The cream really balances out the sweetness."
"Uh-huh," I said. My mind was replaying that moment with the cream.
We were just friends, weren't we? Oh gods, save me from doing something stupid.
"So, are you all done now?" she asked.
I swallowed. I had lost my appetite for food.
Damn it. Dhiren. Stop it.
I forced my mouth which was still slack-jawed to utter a weak, "Yea."
Jasmine shot up.
I guess I was right. She had been restless.
"I'll be right back." The princess raced over to a nearby tree.
"Be careful," I called, getting up. She was still wearing her blindfold.
"I'm fine," she said. "Sit down, Ren."
I stayed standing and I watched as she started to pull something out from behind the willow tree. It was a large chest.
"Princess, let me," I said going over to her.
"I got-" she began. "Hey!"
I had picked up the chest and was carrying it over to the picnic rug.
"I was going to bring it to you," she complained.
"No need," I said, placing the chest down.
Blindfolded people shouldn't be trusted with heavy objects.
I looked down at the chest, I had just pilfered from her. "So, what is this?"
"Your birthday gift," she replied, coming to stand next to me.
"But the food..."
"Was food. This is a gift. A proper gift," she declared. "Go ahead and open it."
"But what is it? It looks like it belongs on a pirate ship."
"You have to find out," Jasmine said and I could tell she was getting a bit annoyed. "By opening it," she finished pointedly.
"I don't know..." I teased, "Maybe I should wait."
Jasmine shoved me and said, "Ren! Open the chest!"
"Alright, alright," I said. I lifted the lid.
Scrolls.
The chest was lined with waterproof leather and filled with them.
I picked up a scroll from the top of the pile and opened it to look inside. When I read the first line, my heart stopped.
དཀའ་བཟློག་མ་དངབདེ་བར་གཤེགས་པའི་གནས།: གཅིག བཀའ དང དཀའ་བཟློག་མ་ དང དགའ་རོགས སེང་གེ།
But no, this wasn't my mother's handwriting. It was just the work of a well-trained Ghamese scribe.
"So?" Jasmine prompted.
"It's in Ghamese," I said, looking at her.
She nodded enthusiastically. "You're fluent, aren't you?"
I was, but when had I told her that?
"What does it say," she pressed.
I translated and began to read it aloud for her:
Durgajnaho is the purest form of Durgara which is a subset of Hinduism that
focuses on the Goddess Durga and to a lesser extent her divine partner, the
tiger, Damon. The other four sects: Durgaradasa, Durgama, Durgani,
Durgarondu misunderstand the teachings of Durga and Damon and will lead
the countries that follow them down a path of hubris and suffering. Only
Durgajnaho can provide healing, enlightenment, and timeless truth. As
symbolized by the Medallion of the Damon Amulet. Durgajnaho is the piece
that unifies the others, the center of the whole, the empty space in between.
I looked over at Jasmine. "Are all these scrolls about the different Durgara sects?"
"That or blue gemstones," she said, "I noticed your interest."
She had?
"So, I contacted the five kingdoms that practice forms of Durgara and asked for information on the religion and blue gemstones."
My mouth went dry.
I was an idiot. Why on earth had I not thought of that?
"The Ghama Dynasty and Bhreenam responded, but I'm unfortunately still waiting on Takanda and Mujulaain." She scowled. "And I think Shehrabad might be ignoring me."
There was a pause and then Jasmine asked eagerly, "So? Do you like your gift? I never really asked why you were interested in either topic. I kind of assumed that you wouldn't have an answer for me, but still, I apologize if I was being presumptuous. I just..."
She was starting to babble from nervousness. I understood nervous talking all too well. I rescued her by saying, "I very much like your gift, Jasmine." The words felt wrong. I didn't just like her gift. It was exactly what I needed, especially if those scrolls from Mujulaain arrived. And I hadn't needed to ask. I probably wouldn't have been able to ask and yet she'd known. "This is a wonderful gift. I couldn't have asked for anything better. Really. Thank you, Princess."
Jasmine beamed at me. "Oh well...I had hoped that you would like it. I mean I was fairly sure you would. I know you like reading so there was a good chance you'd like it, but again the topic. You know I had debated giving you poetry instead, because you like poetry, not because...well anyway I'm glad you like it, especially since I'm not certain if you'll enjoy your last gift. Not that your last gift is bad. It's not. I'm just not sure if-"
She was doing it again. Princess Jasmine was well and truly babbling and it didn't seem like she was going to stop, not without help. So, I cut her off by asking, "Jasmine, what do you mean by last gift?"
"Oh! Well, it's nothing big, just...well, you'll see."
I wasn't sure I wanted to see after that glowing recommendation. This mystery gift had to be the reason she was so out of sorts. Princess Jasmine was the type of person who kept a tiger as a pet. She could be appallingly fearless. Anything that made her uncomfortable was something to be wary of.
"You know princess, I think two gifts is more than enough."
"So, do I, but as of now I have only given you one gift and a meal," she said pedantically.
"Surely such a well thought out meal is its own gift," I claimed.
"Ren, I need you to put the scroll down," she said.
"Princess, this really isn't necessary."
"Put the scroll down," she repeated. Her nervousness had evaporated. Her tone was resolute.
I reluctantly put down the scroll.
"Face me," she commanded.
I turned. Her voice might be steady, but she still looked anxious. I could tell by her stance and the way her hands were twitching.
I frowned. What was she planning?
"Now close your eyes," she said.
"Why?" I asked.
"It's a surprise. Just do it," she ordered.
My frown deepened.
"Are they closed?" she asked.
"I really don't-"
"Allah above, Ren," she said in a tight voice. "I wear a blindfold every night because of you. I think you can handle closing your eyes for a minute."
She had a point, but, "That's a rather flawed argument, princess. The blindfold was your idea."
Jasmine pouted at me. "Sometimes you can be insufferable."
"Should I apologize for being right?"
The princess huffed out a frustrated breath. "I don't need an apology. Ren, will you please close your eyes?"
"Since you asked so nicely, yes I will." I couldn't help grinning at her.
Oblivious, she asked, "So, they are closed?"
"Yes, Princess."
"Good," she said, a little petulantly. "Keep them that way."
At least she wasn't nervous any more. Instead, I was. I really wasn't sure how Jasmine survived my company if this was what her nights were like. I felt so vulnerable and the princess's odd behavior wasn't helping.
I could sense her. She was so close and coming closer. I wanted to move away and maintain proper distance, but I wasn't sure where to go. There were dinner dishes everywhere. One wrong step and I could fall over and make a mess.
"Princess," I said apprehensively. "What are you-"
I nearly squawked.
Jasmine had wrapped her arms around me in a hug. Her head was buried into my chest so her words reverberated through me as she said in a rush, "Ren, I know you're going to say this isn't proper, but I've felt like you needed a hug for ages. Normally, it wouldn't be right, but it's your birthday and in the Bobolonius family, we give birthday hugs so before you give me a huge lecture, I want you to just take the birthday hug and tomorrow, I promise you can tell me about what an unorthodox improper lady I am being right now or some such other nonsense. Okay?"
I stared down at her. I should give her a lecture. This wasn't just improper. It was scandalous to be embracing in some far-off corner in the palace gardens. I should push the princess away and tell her so. I couldn't condone her acting so forwardly.
I wasn't her betrothed anymore. And I was cursed. And she was still technically engaged to someone else. And she didn't even know who I was. And...and...there had to be a least a dozen more reasons to stop this.
Unfortunately, I couldn't think of any of them. Even if I could, I wasn't sure any of them would matter to me right now. My mind was quickly filling with one thought. The only thing that really mattered:
Jasmine.
I could feel the tension in her as she clung to me. She was waiting for me to push her away, to reject her, as if I could. It would be easier to stop breathing.
I decided she was right. I would have to save the lecture for another day. For now, I concentrated on slowly and carefully hugging Jasmine back. My face was burning and I felt even more vulnerable than before, but as I held on, I felt a growing sense of peace.
I had obviously underestimated Jasmine. She knew me far better than I thought. I had wanted this. I had needed this.
I closed my eyes and dared to tighten my embrace a bit. This felt so good, so right.
"Thank you, Jasmine." The words came out more like a soft rumble than individual sounds.
I swore Jasmine smiled against my chest as she replied, "Happy Birthday, Ren."
We didn't say anything else. At some point, I knew I needed to let go of her and at some point, I would. For now, I just held her tight and kept my eyes closed as I tried to capture this incredible moment.
This incredible feeling, it was like home.