3rd person POV
[ song; Lemon boy by cave town and July by Noah Cyrus ]
Tw; Manipulation, mentions of self harm (scratching and biting nails), Panic attacks ,hallucinations , abuse, gore, eye and mouth pulling.
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It had approximately been 5 days since Tommy's and Tubbo's breakdown in each other's arms, Tommy kept roaming around since this was indeed his last day in L'manberg. Tommy stuffed his hands into the pockets of his hoodie, the snow falling down. It's cold, but I mean it is snow right? It doesn't matter, Tommy thought to himself as his legs made the same repetitive movement down the prime path, Dream by his side.
" you know you don't have to keep following me, dick head. " Tommy said bitterly as he snapped his head back to face Dream, Dreams smiley face mask facing him. " actually, I do. " Dream said plainly as he came to a harsh stop, making Tommy's face go from bitter to confusion. " Why? It's not like I'm gonna run away, we're not in exile anymore, Dream. " Tommy said nonchalantly. His eyes wondering from the trees that felt like giants next to him then back to dream whom was ' the god of the server '. " Tommy, I'm your friend. I just wanna keep you safe. " Dream said carefully. Scared that Tommy might let go of him and find out what was truly going on. Tommy had a guilty look splattered on his face, he pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a exaggerated sigh. " fine, I'm sorry Big D. " Tommy said in embarrassment of actually realizing what he had said to his ' friend ' , Dream snarled and kept walking. Tommy following besides him. " do not call me big D. " Was all Dream said.
" Tommy, you know, tubbo hasn't lifted exile. He doesn't care. " Dream blurted out of nowhere as soon as Tommy's bare feet hit the holy lands. Tommy turned to look at Dream who stood silently, staring down Tommy behind his mask. A grin pulling at his lips. " for a friend, you're a dick. " Tommy said. Waving his hands around in the air like a maniac. " but am i wrong? " Dream said, crossing his arms while talking. Sweat dripped from Tommy's face, falling down as quick as time. Tommy didn't wanna admit it, but he felt like Dream was right. " okay, i believe you ,Dream. " Tommy said harshly before walking into the well built church. Dream clapped his hands, his mood suddenly lifting as he followed behind Tommy. " great! Why don't you go to your little shack later? We can get going. Get ready for tomorrow. " Dream said. Tommy simply nodded, he couldn't form any words.
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Tommy didn't know this yet but, he had Dream wrapped around his finger, he thought it was the other way around. But if he simply took his last life. Dream would go insane, Dream knew this., but he was confident that a ' dumb ' and ' selfish ' kid wouldn't notice. And to that,
He was right.
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The next morning came as soon as it could've. Tommy got up from his molding bed hesitantly, he stared at the clock which glared back mockingly. ' 5 am ' it read, Tommy groaned and put his face in his hands. He menacingly grabbed a towel which laid on his oak dresser.
Tommy opened the large wooden door, the door purely let out a creaking sound, Tommy hoped it didn't wake Dream up. He would have a very long morning if it did. The blonde haired boy put the white towel on the sink, allowing his hands to roam free through his hair. He took a glance at himself in the mirror. He didn't recognize himself.
The other half of his stared back. His bright blonde hair had grown into a dark blonde, almost black. Probably from all the dirt and debris from the explosions which caused his items to burn. His bright blue eyes that used to look like oceans turned gloomy, a sparkle which was once there , now gone. His arms were covered in bandages from past beatings and self harm that he believed he deserved. His face was full of scars and black stuff which he assumed was gun powder. His figure was scrawny. Not fit for his face to some extent.
He kept looking, and the reflection stared back, sardonically. He started pulling at his eyes, making them wide to find some sort of flash or spark. Nothing worked, just the same old bleak eyes. then his mouth was next, he pulled and pulled, trying to make a genuine smile appear, but nothing worked and it scared him. Tommy started breathing heavily, his breathing becoming uneven. The walls creeped in on him, making it worse for him due to his claustrophobia. Everything felt so wrong. That wasn't him.
He pulled , bit and scratched his skin until he could feel and see red liquid Pool from his marks. He bit his nails, almost ripping the skin off from underneath them. Till a knock. A knock which eventually snapped him out from his panic attack. " hello? Tommy? " Dream said carefully, his voice still groggy from just waking up. " yes big man? " tommy said slowly, regaining his composure. " you've been in there for a while, you okay? " Dream said, he sounded sincere. It made Tommy smile. " of course big man, I'll be out in a bit. " Tommy said , standing up from the corner he was once attached to. Tommy heard Dreams footsteps fade away from the door, he grabbed onto the edges of the sink, threatening to look up at the mirror which carried his real self. Instead he started taking off his clothes and letting go of the sink, making his way to the shower and turning on the faucet. The droplets of water hitting the showers floor.
He slowly stepped in. The hot steamy water hitting his body, hitting each bruise, scar and burn. It felt ethereal, yet so painful. He loved the feeling of being hurt. It kept him sane, it kept him humble. Mostly, it kept him grounded, it let him know his place in this shitty world.
He slowly moved and grabbed the shampoo which laid in a small cupboard. He poured a generous amount of the shampoo into his hands, setting the bottle down beside him. He scrubbed his hair and washed it out, repeating the process with the shampoo and conditioner.
The fragile boy got out of the shower, the towel wrapped just above his reproductive system. Tommy grabbed some bandages he had stored a few months back before he had been exiled. He carefully wrapped his arms and fingers where he had scratched and ripped a nail out at. He shook his head like a dog, trying to make the water dry out faster from his hair.
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Tommy looked everywhere but at the elder boy who stood in front of him, the ram hybrid grew angry at Tommy's behavior, tubbo finally made up his mind and grabbed Tommy's shoulders, shaking him violently. " Tommy! What the hell, look at me! This is your last time here. " Tubbo said quickly, he was fuming with anger and disappointment. Tommy looked at the elder yet smaller male. " what is wrong with you?! This is our last time together! " Tubbo said vigorously, his eyes becoming glassy from the tears welling up in his eyes.
" it wouldn't be if you'd simply visit me, but. Then again, you're you. " Tommy spit out, not caring about the consequences on his words. Tubbo knew he was right but didn't wanna admit it, cause it would be like surrendering to Dream, the man who has been manipulating his friend. His brother. " oh really? This is my fault? " Tubbo said, loosing his grip on Tommy's shoulders and letting him go. Tommy scoffed and shook his shoulders. " no shit, who exiled me? You had a chance to lift the exile, yet you don't do shit. We only talk twice, and it was just you being filled with regret and selfishness because of what I've become. " Tommy said, hitting tubbo's chest repeatedly. Pushing Tubbo back slightly. Tubbo puffed his chest and grabbed Tommy's collar. " YOU WERE A MERE DISADVANTAGE! A — A DISGRACE TO OUR COUNTRY TOMMY! I NEEDED TO GET RID OF YOU. THIS WILL BE OUR LAST TIME SEEING EACH OTHER, IM THE PRESIDENT NOW. I CAN'T HAVE YOU DRAGGING ME DOWN INTO THE HOLE YOU DUG YOURSELF INTO. " Tubbo yelled at Tommy, some spit leaving his mouth. Tommy listened. He didn't leave comments or talk back to Tubbo. Tubbo kept screaming at Tommy. the rest of the people watched, horrified.
" Dream, can we go home? " tommy said nonchalantly, tubbo let go of Tommy's collar. He had just realized the damage he had done. He stepped back and looked away. His body tensing at the words home. Tommy said Tubbo was his home, but the both knew that had changed. Dream nodded. The two men left without a goodbye, it was hopeless.
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Weeks passed and only a few people visited repeatedly, not daring to bring up the tubbo's outburst. The group of people usually consisted or puffy and Sam, or badboyhalo and ranboo. But Tommy didn't like them at all, he preferred to be alone. Alone with Dream, his only true friend.
Tommy was swinging his axe at the tree, making the same motion over and over. Dream looked ticked off as he approached the careless boy. " Tommy. " Dream said , venom playing at his words. Tommy gulped, what did I do now? All I've done was cut down trees and check my ender che- he thought, and there it was. His ender chest. He wasn't allowed to have any since it did have his beloved disc in them, as well as so,e netherite armor, which was the only type of armor he wasn't allowed to have. He was quick to notice his mistake of hiding the chest so poorly, he mentally facepalmed himself. " would you like to tell me why you have an ender chest? " Dream said, his mask glaring at Tommy. Tommy was intimated by the male who was one of the most powerful in the server, having people wrapped around his finger like puppets. Tommy gulped and kept swinging his axe at the tree.
" I don't know what you're talking about. " Tommy said, snarling and looking back at the tree. The axe barely leaving marks. " oh yeah? Then whats that below your bed? " Dream said, his voice genuinely questioning the child. " I don't know what you're talking about Dream. " tommy spat at Dream. Dream grabbed Tommy by the neck, Tommy's axe falling and his eyes growing in shock. He was now against the tree. His back burning from the needles of the tree which he was up against. Dream was ruthless with his actions.
" Tommy stop the bullshit. " Dream said, pulling off his mask, his menacing eyes staring back at Tommy, Tommy could barely speak as Dreams strength around his neck grew. " I—I'm sorry— " Tommy choked out, his oxygen being half cut out. Making him stutter over his words. Dream pulled out his netherite axe and putting it against Tommy's left wing. " oh you're going to be sorry. " Dream said mercilessly.
Tommy took this as a warning and kicked Dream in his sensitive area, making the older male groan in pain, making him release Tommy. Tommy grabbed his axe once again and got into a fighting position which technoblade had taught him. But he knew he couldn't win. Dream was one of the best, he was like a god. So he did what any sensible human being would.
He ran.
His feet dragged him forward, he could hear Dreams footsteps running after him, but he didn't stop. He let his wings sprout up, even though he didn't have much practice or experience. He flew. His wings collided with the harsh air.
And after a few minutes of rough flying due to his inexperience. He came crashing down, he prepared for impact. And there it was, he collided with the snow, his back flinching in pain. He let out a blood curdling scream, blood rushed from his back. It felt like his backbone was fractured.
He stayed there, laying down on the now red colored snow. He was fading from consciousness and unconsciousness. He looked up and saw Wilbur. He looked the same as he did when he went insane. He could see him holding TNT. Tommy's eyes widened, he knew Wilbur was dead. But he looked so real.
Wilbur sat down next to Tommy, right behind him. He smiled and caressed Tommy's hair. Just like he did when he was alive. Wilbur laughed like a maniac causing Tommy to flinch at the sound, it sounded exactly like he pushed the button which blew up l'manberg for the first time. " Tommy. You're scared. Yet, no one cares. You're alone. " Wilbur says as he whispered it into Tommy's ears. Tommy gasped loudly as he was face with a sting of pain crawling up his back. Tommy closed his eyes tightly. Please, make him go away. I can't stand this. Tommy thought as he held in a breath until he had to release it for more air. Pain coming in as he did so. His eyes welling up with tears, a few escaping.
And finally he saw a figure. It looked like a pig or a person. But he didn't care, it was all so blurry. It's probably a hallucination like Wilbur. He sighed and laid his head to rest. Blood pooling out from his forehead as well, and just like that.
He lost consciousness.
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Word count; 2,269