A few soft knocks made him stir, made him remember why he was snoring at the foot of Jane's door just a second ago. He knocked back, hoping she would open but instead there was a letter slid under the door addressed to him with smudged ink.
Hello you bastard.
I suppose you want an explanation. To the blood. To what happened. And why I wasn't home earlier.
Well first of all, this is my house. I'm allowed to stay out late. I'm a grown woman. I can take care of myself (Although my wounds certainly say different.) Don't worry too much if i'm not at the estate. I always tell Emmeline where I'm going.
What happened was... my fault. It was my idea to hold a protest. I didn't expect such a high number of defences. But Emma is fine. She only has a cut on her palm from slipping on the road. And no, no one saw us. No one knows it was two duchesses planning the revolution.
And I suppose now it's time for the truth. Why it happened.
But I'm taking a risk telling you this. And I'm only doing so because we promised, we would plummet together.
It happened because of the revolution. You've probably heard your father talking about it once or twice during dinner when you were younger. The bombers in Keydon. The night witches. That was when they were last active. I'm part of it, sorry to say.
And we're planning an attack.
It's nothing dangerous I swear. It was only a protest. We can only hope the public wont react the same way the police did. You know why my father and I are distant. You know about our history of debts. I don't want the same to happen because a mother can't work hard enough for her children. We're doing the same jobs. We deserve equal pay.
That's all it is.
Do you remember the spy we overheard in the library? During our first meeting. He deals in information. He gets you where you need to be, no questions asked. And he's a nice person really. He just looks a bit... gruff.
And now... now they're waiting to strike. Waiting for me to give word of the attack.
I won't blame you if you're horrified. Or if you're disgusted. And if you hate me, that would make things easier.
But I do love you. And you have to realise, I've been doing things like this for years. We've been focusing on Keydon but they— your... sister, is planning to move our efforts to Lyrell. My family died for this cause, and I see it fit that I go down the same way.
Whether you're with me or against, I respect your decision.
Thank you for taking a chance on me all those years ago.
With love,
Jane
"Jane." He stood and knocked again. This time she opened. "I don't want to argue—"
"Funny how you start all our arguments like that."
"Funny that you think you never start our arguments." They looked at each other, smiling at the familiar beat they held.
"Come in." She held the door open.
"I don't hate you." He blurted. "I can't. It's impossible. I don't care about what you do. I care about how you do it. How you get hurt. How you might wake up today and you might not tomorrow," he tripped over each word as he avoided her gaze. "I'm behind you. Over everything. I will respect what you do as long as it doesn't disrespect anyone's existence."
"Am I not disrespecting the existence of the men I'm going against? Disrespecting your mother and her refusal to give fairness to the women of this kingdom?"
"I—" he plopped down on her bed. "I have no clue."
"How do you slay the dragon without becoming one?"
"Hard to compete when everyone is winning, remember?" He offered a smile, thankful to see her return it with her own. "Irene?"
"The leader."
"And you?"
"Investor." She said. "That's where all your crowns are going. Funding a damned revolution." He looked at her, her eyes bloodshot, wounds still untreated. And in the candlelight she looked just like the child he had drawn all those years ago. The real piece he wanted to give her. "I'm sorry. I swear I really am. I never expected any of this to happen. This, retaliation." She closed the door. "But I can't promise it won't happen again.I suppose I'm asking you to trust me."
__________
"Do you think she'll say yes?"
"Yes?" Emma looked at her friend admiring the ring in his hand. "It's likely she'll say nothing at all."
"You think so?"
"Jane doesn't say yes. She doesn't say no." Emma said. "She acts. She does. Since I've known her, she always seems dazed, always thinking about something. Do you know why?" Kit shook his head. "She finds me draining. She finds a lot of people draining. That's what people like her have to face. And yet with you, she can talk for hours on end, listen to you drone about another autopsy without any indication that she's tired of you."
"Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have someone like that who loves you? Who wants to spend their time with you? Believe me when I say she's been through hell and back. And the only time I see peace in her eyes is when she is with you."
__________
"I trust you." He patted the space next to him and put an arm around her as she placed her head on his shoulder. "I'm there with you. But you can't fall before you tell me. We plummet together. Not one after the other." He placed a kiss on the top of her head. "Please?"
"Alright."
"Promise?"
"Promise."