Hana's POV
I sit in the truck with Hyunho on my lap and smile to myself as I think back to the moment Hyunjin and I shared. Even though it was just a hug, it meant everything to me. The feeling of being in his arms made my chest squeeze. I smile wider and don't notice my cheeks turn red just thinking about it until Hyunho says something.
"Mommy, is it hot?" Hyunho feels my cheeks and I stop smiling once I realize how hard I was daydreaming.
"No, I'm just happy," I smile softly and Sana who is beside me smirks.
We arrive back at The Sanctuary and Jinyoung shows us our rooms. Since I have Hyunho, I had my own room with him. Sana's room was a little far down from mine which made me sad. Once we entered the main lobby, Wonyoung was the first to greet Hyunjin and gave him a kiss on the lips. I look away and try not to react but it is clear to Sana and most of my friend group that I'm uncomfortable. I fake a smile and walk to my room with Sana and Hyunho.
"Hey, if you're uncomfortable just let me know," Sana says as I enter the room with Hyunho.
"It's pretty cozy in here," I blatantly say and Sana sighs.
"You know I'm not talking about the room," Sana folds her arms. I frown, knowing that she is referring to Wonyoung and Hyunjin. I look down at Hyunho who is observing the room. He is jumping on one of the mattresses, making me smile and forget about Hyunjin.
"Hey, baby, you want to go hang out with Mark and Haechan while I unpack?" I ask.
"Uncle Full Sun and Mork," Hyunho says in a funny voice. I giggle. Hyunho claps his hands and I pick him up. I walk past the lobby and meet eyes with Wonyoung who is talking with her friends. She gives me a little glare, making me defensive but I try to ignore it. I walk over to Mark and Haechan's room to see them unpacking.
"Chris is here!" Mark announces, seeing me with Hyunho. I smile and place him down on the ground.
"Can he hang with you guys for a bit? I just don't want him to get bored while I unpack," I ask and they nod. I smile a little and head back into the hallway but Mark stops me before I leave. Hyunho was too distracted as starts playing with Donghyuck.
"Are you okay?" Mark asks in a low voice and I shrug. "I know how much you love Hyunjin but..." Mark sighs. "Don't let this break you. You're strong." I hold up a fist to thank him and Mark fist bumps me.
"I should get you a girlfriend," I tease. "There are some pretty girls here actually."
"Hey!" Mark says and hits my shoulder. I chuckle and look back at Hyunho playing tag with Donghyuck.
I return to my room to see Sana and Yeji inside already unpacking for me and smile. Sana immediately snaps a picture of me right when I walk in and I cover my face.
"Hey!" I exclaim. Sana giggles and hands me the polaroid she just took of me. "To celebrate your return!" I take it from her and see my hands covering my face. I shake my head with a smile and put it in the pocket of my jacket.
"Hyunjin told me about Hyunho," Yeji mentions. My eyes grow wide. Already?
"Did you tell Luc-" I stutter but Yeji interrupts.
"Do you think it's a good time to tell her? Since she's older and you're back?" Yeji asks, genuinely wanting to know my opinion. I shrug and begin opening one of my duffels.
"Do you think she is ready? You've been taking care of her all her life. You're more of a mom to her than me," I honestly say. Yeji purses her lips in thought as Sana watches us converse.
"I think Lucy is getting more suspicious about it. Soon enough, she will find out herself and will be mad," Sana says. I nod in agreement.
"I want her to meet Hyunho," Yeji says. I notice Yeji has another thing on her mind that she had been keeping from us. "And..." Her hesitation makes me nervous.
"Don't be nervous," I say gently and Yeji nods, trying to put her wall down.
"One day we were scavenging in a neighborhood and... Lucy found your journal," my eyes grow wide as my pink journal flashes into my head. I haven't seen that thing in years. I thought I lost it for good.
"Did she..." I assume and Yeji nods.
"She asked me questions about it because she saw pictures of Hyunjin, Felix, everyone," Yeji says and I remember all of the photos I've taken. "She only read the beginning, I hid the book from here after that."
A tear rolls down Yeji's cheek making my heartbreak. Like a magnet, I pull her into a hug and she begins sobbing into my shoulder. I pet her hair and feel her heavy breath as she tries to stop crying. I look over at Sana who is frowning at us, understanding how hard it must be for the both of us.
I hold Yeji close and feel tears well up in my eyes but try to hold them back for the sake of Yeji. Sana pithily sighs and holds both of us.
"I think you guys should talk to Hyunjin and Young K," Sana advises. "But tell Lucy soon. She has every right to react in whatever way she does but make sure she doesn't forget that you guys are trying to do what's best."
[going past our
shared time and space]
Night fell and today was campfire night. Jinyoung likes to hold little gatherings for the community once every week to relieve stress and strengthen our bonds. This atmosphere is very different from what the Sanctuary used to be. Mark and Haechan came over to my room to drop off Hyunho so he could change into new clothes.
"Will there be marshmallows?" Hyunho excitedly asks. I smile at his enthusiasm and bop his nose.
"We will see, maybe we can make your favorite," I wink and help him put on his blue jacket.
"SMORES!" Hyunho exclaims and jumps. I giggle and then hear a knock at my door. Hyunho stops jumping and hides behind me.
"It's okay, little guy, we just have a visitor," I reassure him, knowing how anxious he gets around people sometimes.
I open the door to reveal Felix who has a bright smile on his face. I feel a wave of relief and look down at Hyunho who is still hiding behind my leg.
"Hyunho, it's just Uncle Felix," I say and Hyunho slowly steps out of his shell. He waves shyly as Felix waves back.
"I just wanted to make sure you guys were ready, Jinyoung is about to give his weekly speech," Felix says.
"Speech?" I question, unfamiliar with the etiquette here.
"Every week, Jinyoung updates us on our performance whether it be in ammunition, food, maintenance. It is just to let us know what we have to work on in terms of helping out for the Sanctuary," Felix explains. I nod and then look down at Hyunho, slowly picking him up so he is at eye level with me.
"Are you ready Mr. Hyunnie?" I ask and Hyunho nods with a thumbs up, making Felix smile.
"Uncle Felix, make your mosquito sound?" Hyunho asks randomly, surprising Felix. I giggle and Felix eyes me.
"You told him about that?!" Felix pokes me and I shrug, acting innocent. "Fine, for you," Hyunho claps his hands as Felix makes his famous mosquito noises and pretends to kill an imaginary one of his neck. Hyunho laughs in amazement while Felix covers his face from embarrassment. I pat his back as I walk beside him.
"C'mon mosquito boy," I tease.
When we make it outside onto the field where the huge campfire is, I stand between Changbin and Jisung while holding Hyunho. Jisung looks somewhat frightened by Hyunho, making Changbin and I laugh.
"His eyes are green!" Jisung points out and Hyunho looks at me confused, unaware of why he is so baffled.
"Don't scream like that, you're scaring him," Changbin scolds him playfully, hitting his finger down to his side. I laugh and then notice Hyunjin across the campfire with Wonyoung. I quickly glance away, feeling my heart sink once more.
"Where's the marshmallows?" Hyunho asks. I smile at him and then look at Jisung.
"Are there marshmallows?" I ask in a hopeful tone. Jisung nods.
"You just have to fight me for it," Jisung jokes. Hyunho puts up his fists, making me laugh.
"Don't test him, Jisung," I tease, "Hyunho can be very scary when it comes to smores." Jisung eyes Hyunho and then puts two fingers in front of him and then back towards Hyunho.
"Challenge accepted," Jisung says with determination.
I shake my head and look over at Yeji who is standing with Young K and Lucy. I frown a little, knowing how hard Yeji was crying about this situation a few hours ago. I hope she is feeling better. I notice Lucy eyeing me as I was holding Hyunho. She is probably curious about who he is. I look away and glance back at the fire, feeling the warmth of it touch my skin despite the cold, fall weather. I sigh and try to let go of all my anxieties.
We were going to talk to Young K and Hyunjin tomorrow about it, but facing Lucy tonight will be tough.
Young K's POV
"Brian, make sure Lucy doesn't run too far," Yeji eyes me carefully and I receive her message.
She wants me to make sure Lucy, Hana, Hyunho, or Hyunjin bump into each other tonight. Yeji knows that Hana is just as anxious about telling Lucy as her so she is trying to limit their time together in case Lucy asks too many questions since she is smart and knows when something is wrong.
"Dad, why does mommy call you Brian?" Lucy asks me. My eyes grow wide at her sudden question. I clear my throat as I try not to laugh.
"Cause she is the only one who is allowed to call me Brian," I tell her and pat her head as we walk outside in the field for our community gathering.
"But I heard Jae the other day call you Brian when he was talking about you," Lucy tells me and I furrow my brows. I am not surprised by this information. I will mentally note this the next time I see Jae. "I'm scared of Jae sometimes." I pause in my steps and kneel down to be eye level with Lucy.
"Scared? Why?" I ask.
"Sometimes he has to put a needle in my skin," Lucy pets her arm and frowns. "It hurts whenever that happens." I sigh, understanding what she is referring to.
"It's okay, he won't do that to you anymore," I say and gently move a piece of hair behind her ear.
"Is my blood really special?" Lucy asks and I purse my lips.
"It's not your blood that's special, it's you," I say. I don't want her to think that she is some type of object that holds this great thing inside her. "You are more important than the thing inside you that people desire, always remember that." Lucy nods and smiles.