I wake up the next morning in a daze. My mind is still buzzing from the thought of what happened last night.
The lights. The crowd. The adrenaline.
I smile as I surround myself in covers with a massive smile on my face. I laugh as I try to take in what happened last night.
I check my phone and look at all the text messages from everyone who seen the ballet show last night.
But today is the day I have to go back to the doctors to get the results of the tests they didn.
Hopefully there is nothing wrong.
Marco said he is going to take me to the doctor because he doesn't want me to go myself.
For support whatever the outcome is.
I get up of out my best and go fro a shower and wash my hair.
What could be seen as good news or bad news; I have no show tonight. Instead of it being every single night we decided to have it every second night to give us some rest.
A knock them comes to to my door so I quickly get dressed into my jeans and jumper and then jog to my front door.
"Hi Marc-" I say as I open the door holding my blonde hair in my towel as I try to dry it "Mario?" I ask slightly angered.
What is he doing here?
"Before you shout at me, I'm here at you're brother's request."
"Why?" I ask and cross my arms over my chest with the towel and stare up at him.
"Because he's busy at a surprise training from Klopp so he can't take you, so I offered." He smiles, a small and gentle smile but I just glare up at him again.
"Really? Or a you shitting me?" I question.
"I would never lie to you."
"Well you already did so you're wrong in that statment." I turn around and go back to my room and finish getting ready and then come back out to Mario who is looking throw photo albums which were sitting out because I was organising them a few days ago.
"You and Marco used to look so alike." Mario comments.
"We still do." I cross my arms over my chest defensively, not actually wanting to continue this conversation.
"Your hair is lighter."
"Well mine is natural." I comment and pick up my phone and purse and then head to the door.
"Are you coming or what?" I ask so Mario quickly puts the book down and follows me out.
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We're stuck in traffic.
Why?
Why did it have to be the day I had to spend with Mario.
I sigh and lean my head against the window and stare out into the traffic.
"You were really good last night. It was beautiful." He looks over at me and I can see him out of the corner of my eye but I don't look over at him.
"Thanks." I say bluntly.
"Was it everything you imagined it to be?" He asks.
"Hmhm." I answer and take my phone out of my pocket and scroll through all of my social media.
We then sit in an awkward silence until his phone starts to ring which is bluetooth connected to his car so the ringing is extra loud.
"It's Ann-Kathrin calling. Is it okay if I answer it?" He asks and I shrug my shoulders.
"It's your car." I answer and keep looking out the window.
He clicks the answer button on his steering wheel and then speaks,
"Hi."
"Hi babe. I ut wanted to call and tel you about this photoshoot I've booked..." I then block out the rest of her annoying voice and daydream while thinking about Andre Garfield.
Because who doesn't love Andrew Garfield.
Him and Emma Stone are so fucking cute as well.
Relationship goals.
I let out a sigh.
"Who is with you?" She asks sounding quite angry, probably recognising the sight as being quite feminine.
"It's just Lia."
"Hi Lia. But why is she there?" She sounds nice at first and then turns into one of those creepy obsessive girlfriends.
"We're just going to the doctors."
"Why are you going the doctors? Did she hurt you?"
"No I didn't fucking hurt him." I snap, "I try to stay away from him as much as possible." I basically glare at the car radio hoping she can feel me hate her.
"Rude." She mutters and I'm so ready to scream at her but Mario covers my mouth with his hand to stop me.
"We really need to go."
"Love you."
"Yeah, bye." Mario replies and hangs up the call.
I bite his hand.
I'm not joking.
I'm sure there will be teeth marks.
"Oh, what the fuck Lia?" He exclaims loudy an drives the car forward with one hand as he looks at the other one which I bit.
"Don't touch me." I glare at him.
He just sighs and drives the car towards where the doctors is.
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I give my name to the receptionist and then go sit in the waiting room.
Mario goes to sit next to me but I make him move so there's a space in between us.
We have to wait fifteen minutes before I get called to the doctors office.
I stand up and so does Mario so I turn to look at him.
"You don't need to come in."
"I promised your brother that I'd come in with you."
"I'm not a baby."
"I don't care Lia. I'm going in that room with you." He insists in a controlled tone. He's serious and stares down at me.
"Fine." I sigh and turn away from him and go into the doctors office.
"Hi Lia." He smiles up at me, the man with slightly wrinkling skin and greying hair.
"Hi Doctor Andre." I smile back at him and then sit down on one of the two chairs across from his desk.
"Who is this?" Doctor Andre asks and looks at Mario.
"He's Marco's best friend."
"Her best friend." We both answer at the same time making me turn to look at him.
"Shut up Mario." I glare at him.
"Okay, well your test results are back..."
"Yes?" I ask as he trails out and takes out the pieces of paper.
My test results.
"I'm sorry Lia, you obviously know what happened with that cyst in you ovaries and the futre of what could happen with that. But with the test I took weren't good. You have an ovulation problem which is a conditon that prevents any mature eggs from developing in your ovaries and you have poor egg quality. Now when you enter the stages of puberty you have a certain ammount of eggs which slowly decreases as you get older. You have the ammount of eggs a fourty year old women would have so that makes your chances of pregnancy and conception very hard. Almost impossible." He explains and I feel my whole world collapse around me.
Almost impossible.
I've always wanted kids.
Like six.
I'm not joking I wanted to live on a farm in the countryside of Germany with all my children and my husband.
All my dreams were crushed in those few minutes that Doctor Andre was speaking.
"Lia..." Mario mutters and looks over at me.
I just sit in shock as tears stroll down my face.
I turn to face Mario and immediately breakdown in tears.
Mario quickly brings me into a hug and kisses the top of my head.
"It's okay." He whispers.
But it's not.
Why can't I be like other girls who can pop out children whenever they want to?
"There are solutions to these problems but you'd have to start them quickly because of where your conditions are. You can have IVF or you could could have and egg donor."
"But technically with an egg donor then it wouldn't be my child." I say as salty tears spill our of my eyes and down my face.
"Technically yes, but if you get all of your eggs and you get a egg holder to carry your baby then it would be your child. But there are always complications with that. Like they won't be able to carry it or the egg won't connect with their uterus lining. I hope you know that I'm really sorry to deliver you this news Lia." He apologises.
I breathe out deeply and look at the doctor who has been with me throw all the ups and down of my career.
Broken bones, bruised toes and manu muscle problems.
But none as bad as this.
"It's fine Doctor Andre. Thank you." I whisper, still in a state of shock.
I stand up from my chair but my legs go like jelly and I fall into Mario's arms.
I wheeze as I feel like I've been shot with a gun filled with all this information at once, overwhelming me.
"Come'n." He places one of his arms around my waist keeping me close to him so I don't fall and hold one of my hands ith his free one.
Due to our height difference my forehead is in line with Mario's mouth so he keeps placing soft kisses to my forehead as we walk out of the doctors office.
"I'll phone your brother so he can meet us when we get back to your house." I just nod as I cuddle up into a ball on his passenger seat.
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"Lia, we're back at your aparment."
I feel like I can't move.
I feel like I'm stuck in this curled up position in this car.
"Where are your house keys?" He asks but I feel like I can't speak.
He doesn't say anything but climbs out of the car and then comes around to the passenger side of the car.
He goes into my jacket pocket and retrives m house keys and then helps me of my his car.
I almost fall to the ground but he keeps me up in his strong arms.
"Come'n let's get you inside." He whispers to me as we get into the elevator because he probably doesn't want me to fall down the stairs since I can barely walk.
He unlocks the front foor and moves us inside. He lets me go for a minutes and I fall to the floor in tears.
"Lia." He whispers and bends down to my height and gives me a hug. "Let's get you to bed."
He lifts me up as best as he can in this position and then moves me into my bed room.
He kisses my forehead one last time before leaving me in peace.
How can my life go one thing to another.
It's an extreme change.
Going from something which filled me with such happinesses to something which has sucked all the happiness out of my and left me deflated and unable to actualy function properly.
About five to ten minutes later my front door is burst open and I hear my brother's voice.
"What happened Mario?" He asks worried.
"I don't think it's my place to tell you Marco..." Mario says quietly.
"Mario tell me now!" Marco demands.
"I don't want her to hate me anymore than she already does Marco so please don't make me tell you." He begs and my brother sighs.
"I understand. Is she in her room?" Marco asks. Mario doesn't answer so he must have nodded. A few seconds later my bedroom door opens and my brother walks in.
"Lia?" He sits down n my bed next to me and turns me to face him. "What did the results say?"
I then spill my heart out to my brother with all of the information that Doctor Andre told me and cry even more.
"It's not fucking fair Marco. All I've ever wanted was to be a ballerina and t have children. Are you only allowed to have one big dream in this world?" I scream and cry as Marco runs his hand over my hair trying to calm me down.
"God works in mysterious ways Lia. Let him do his job and everything will work out okay in the end." Marco tells me and I sigh.
"But he knew that these two things were all I wanted in life and he took them away."
"I know, when have you to go back to the doctors?" He asks.
"I don't know. I didn't ask. Will you phone them?" I ask and he nods and picks up his phone and calls the doctors office.
"You've to go in two days if you want to get the egg thing done to put them in jars or whatever." He shrugs his shoulders and I let out a choked laugh.
"Thanks Marco." I whisper.
"Anything for my little sister." He smiles down at me.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"Can you tell Mario thanks?" I ask and he smiles and nods.
"I'll leave you to get some sleep and let you think about what you're going to do." He kisses my forehead and then leaves.
I know I should be the one saying thanks to Mario but I feel so deflated and like I have no life right now.
But I'll probably phone him tomorrow or something.
I pick up my tv remote for my room and turn on the tv to watch Netflix.
I actually don't even know if my brother and Mario have actually left yet.
But I don't care so I just stare at my tv with American Horror Story playing in the background as I try to keep my mind off the horrible news.
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I did so much research for writing this chapter because I didn't know anything about conception problems because we don't learn about human biology until we do higher in biology because my school is strange.
I would just like to point out that I don't hate Ann-Kathrin, she can do whatever she wants because it's not like what I say in a fictional book is going to affect her. I do like her, she's beautiful but I do prefer other wags over her.
Updaes for all of my books might be rarer because my final exams are coming up along with final tests/achivements in school are coming up as well so I won't be able to update as quickly because of that.
Please comment, vote and follow me x
love you xx