I'd like to apologize for my absence I don't want to make excuses but I've been depressed for a while and my grades started slipping. as much as this books about the struggle of mental illnesses I'm not trying to glorify it I stepped back to get my grades in check but I'm back now and I hope not to many of you have left thank you for your patience and let's get back into this thing.
Azula Pov
I packed all that I could carry into a small cotton bag and I kept the kings crest tucked into a pin I used to keep my hair in place. Inside the bag was just a make shift knife and some disinfectant in a small box thats smell stung my nose.
It was late not that I could really prove it, there's no windows down here and my sleep schedule has just been following what the others where doing.
I found myself pacing the floor instead of falling asleep, So much of this plan is unpredictable there's so many variables and it's all dependent on if the people I tried to kill trust me enough to let me stay. I'm not that good with people in the first place and the idea of pretending to make nice with Tylee and Mai makes me nauseous.
I took deep breath and tried not to overthink the multiple possibilities of what could happen they could send me away the moment I get to the palace doors send me to that horrible prison and this time I won't even have father nearby. They could have me executed or worse the Avatar could take my bending away from me again, after I just got it back.
" He wouldn't do that to you he loves you and just wants to help"
I waved away my mother's voice that whispered at my ear teasing me to turn around and respond but I denied her my attention.
It could all take a turn for the worst and I wouldn't be able to prove I wasn't working alone. Mira has me in a tough spot she has my father captive and as long as he's here I can't make a move against her I barely know anything about the women. Before when I found myself against a new enemy I had time to study my opponents and there weaknesses but all I know about her is She wants my family dead and the throne to be hers.
I know She hates her father but hates mine more and for whatever reason decided to keep us alive after swearing she wanted us dead. She's as predictable as a lightning strike and as calculating as a serpent.
Mirai could just be using me as a pon a quick way to get into the palace and I couldn't blame her I would do the same.
I organized my things and put them over my bed so when morning came I could leave at the crack of dawn. I couldn't fall asleep anyway to many thoughts nervousness or excitement I can't tell. I've gotten close to killing all of them before the problem is now it's all at once and inside the palace where nobody trusts me.
" Azula you don't want to do this we're your family, daughter I beg of you reason with yourself"
" SILENCE!"
I looked over and her face was gone from the dark shadows in the corner of my room
I should get some training in review the plan instead of pacing the room, my foot slipped through the door careful not to wake anyone up or be caught by a passing guard. They wouldn't say anything I just don't want to go through the trouble of explaining why I'm awake. the dirt ground made it easy to move around at night without making to much noise very much different from the palace halls with hard marble floors or heavy hard wood that woke the servents when I tried to sneak out.
This place was creepy at night I never believed much in ghosts and spirits but what Shoku said about the water benders that lived here while escaping the fire nation stuck with me. I'm stronger then any ghost... I just don't feel the need to test them.
I snuck down the hall with a small blue fire in my hand watching the moving shadows and listening out for whispers.
" we're going to let him out as a final blow and end it all there we just need to prepare for the avatar as soon as we have the capital under control"
It was Mirais voice again I'm not surprised she was up this late planning. It's better if I avoid her I don't want her sending me back to bed like I'm some child. I slipped behind a pillar and and jumped from her view away from the common room until I made it to the training room.
I lit some of the torches on the walls and pulled out the mats. I started with a few push ups and sit-ups and then used the bar. But that got boring quickly and my head kept running ahead of me thinking of Kumara and the dream I had of her. I wanted to see her again before Father took back the throne try and explain why I said what I said and it's to late.
I looked up at the high rope that hung from across the rooms walls and thought of Tylee walking these in The circus I had to scare her enough to join me by setting the net on fire. It worked she quit right after but she did seem to stay upset with me for a while after that.
" seems doable enough "
I climbed up the ladder and stared at the ground from thirty feet above, it made my legs shake and my heart beat faster but my head went clear. I took a step on the rope and my leg wobbled and I pulled back.
" Azula don't it's reckless"
There she goes again never leaving me alone I hummed to ignore her voice and kept my eyes trained on the rope.
A deep breath and another step and I was fully on the line abandoning the platform behind me I took another step and felt my sides start to shake and tremble, when I looked down I leaned to the side and gasped taking a sharp breath when my foot almost slipped off but I regained balance by stretching out my arms.
I laughed it off and clenched my hands I was in the middle of the rope and it was to late to walk backwards. I gained more respect for Tylee the more my legs trembled and I realized this was much harder then it looked.
The bottoms of my feet hurt from gripping the rope but I couldn't lift one up to rest it.
I took three quick steps forward almost loosing balance when I hesitated at the end. My last step was sloppy and missed the rope I sucked in air when I fell off the side but at the last second grabbed the rope with my right arm.
I hung there for a second letting myself catch my breath until I pulled myself back up and rebalanced on the line the last few steps I did without thinking and I only started breathing again when my foot hit the wooden plat form at the other end.
I heard clapping from down below and I looked down I couldn't make out her face but I was positive it was Mirai based on how condescending her claps where. I climbed back down the ladder and smirked she tossed me a rag and wiped the sweat of my forehead.
" Most people would say tight rope walking for the first time at three am the night before a big mission is an irresponsible thing to do"
" I got bored I figured even if I fell my injury would probably just gain me more sympathy points"
She chuckled and handed me some water in a pouch which I gladly took down when I was done she started waking to the wall and sat down. I didn't know if she wanted me to keep training or go back to bed so I stood there until she patted the ground with her hand.
I reluctantly walked over and sat a few feet across from her tucking one of my legs into myself she looked upset but I don't think she expected me to comfort her, did she. I don't even like her that much.
" Why do you still defend him"
" who are you talking about"
" you're father I know the only reason you're working with us is because we have him captive and as much as I want him dead... he's your father you should be able to choose"
" Choose what?"
" if you want to forgive him or not if I killed him you wouldn't be able to get it off your chest you'll spend the rest of your life under his control"
" he doesn't control me and I'm the one that needs forgiveness I've let him down I'm the one that needs to restore my honor and gain his respect again"
" He treats you like a weapon when your just a kid He doesn't deserve your respect at all"
She looked like she was getting upset
" why are you so insistent that I hate my father, just because yours was garbage dosn't mean mine is"
" your right my father was garbage, he was a weak man with to much pride to love anyone other then himself but he doesn't define me anymore"
" you said your father abandoned you?"
" He was a noble worked with your grandfather as a general he raised me to become your fathers wife said if I was empress The family would forever be protected but I messed up and spilled some tea on the fire lords robe they chose your mother to be his wife instead. After that he treated me like nothing cut my hair and hit me for the smallest mistakes as if I was a waste of time for him. one day I just had enough I couldn't take it anymore he was going to burn me... Do you ever have those moments, like there's a weight on your chest that's pushing down on you and you can't breath or think it all just goes gray"
I nodded surprised she felt the same feeling
" it's like your chest is on fire"
"Well when I snapped out of it he was dead and the weight on me lifted I never felt that way again and I vowed to destroy Men like him and free the people they've trapped Fire lord Ozai had the world under his control and I won't let it happen again"
" Zuko isn't like that he's not anything like my father"
" are you sure? he sent you away to that prison took away your bending made you feel like a monster"
" That wasn't him that was mother Zuko's a weakling he doesn't have any power over me"
" He took the throne and your friends away from you forgave your mother even after all She did to you both"
" I guess, but she always loved him more then anyway I wasn't surprised when he wanted to find her. My friends they... they miscalculated Mai never liked me and Tylee she must have always hated me to."
I wiped the tears from my face and sniffled but it was to late " I just don't understand why everyone loves Zuko over me" I buried my face into my arms and Miria wrapped her arm around my back. I jumped and pushed her " No Don't"
She wiped the tears from my face and pulled my hair behind my ear
" They picked wrong, you know that right"
I couldn't stop crying and she hugged me rubbing my back soothingly hushing me it felt..nice, warm I wanted to remind myself she was the enemy but I couldn't help but relax in her lap.
Finally I calmed myself down and my breath stopped hiccuping I pulled away from the hug and rubbed my eyes " thank you, for that"
" No trouble Princess, I hope you feel better"
" I do, I'll be ready in the morning"
" there's one last thing I wanted to give to you" She pulled out a bag from her pockets and opened it slowly and revealed small mushrooms reddish brown and long thin stems"
" what are those?"
" Huǎngyán fāshāo"
" and those do what? give me hallucinations I'm not taking drugs"
" No no nothing like that, you should take them before you make it to the palace it gives you quite the nasty fever but for us fire benders it gives you the symptoms of the burning virus but never kills, I'm thinking your family will be less likely to send you away if your showing symptoms of a deadly flu"
" isn't that risky"
" I've been told your brother doesn't trust you very much I just think since he's known for being sympathetic he wouldn't want your death on his hands this could get you a few days in the palace without the chance of being sent to prison"
" and because my story is that I escaped I could aways say I caught it while I was in captivity it's genius but, I'm not stupid if your confident it won't kill me eat one"
She plucked one from the pile and popped it into her mouth like candy she shuddered
" gross texture but I'll live I'll definitely have a nasty fever for a few days but other then that I'll be fine it's your job to sell it as worse then it is"
I'm surprised she actually ate it I cackled and wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks
" your rather a genius or completely insane, I'll get ready to leave before the sun rises"