"Eh?...you lost it?!" Katy yelled out. I was dressed in shorts and a tank top. Digging into the trash can, just in case I happen to have thrown it away. How could I have lost that note? Of all things -that note.
We spent hours searching, and still haven't had any luck. We were laying on the ground staring are the ceiling. My eyes were on the brink of tears.
I'm screwed! Screwed I tell ya'!
I couldn't sleep at all that night, I had to find that note. I didn't want to think of Rin reading it, he'll probably tease me about it. God, I wanted to cry! I screamed into my pillow until my throat felt sore. And to top it all off, it today was Rin's tournament. The one he wanted me to show up to see him swim. That tournament.
I just hope Kimiko or Kai was gonna be there,I don't wanna look like a fool.
"Hopefully it's not out of the room. I'll go ask Sosuke if he's seen it. " she says, before leaving the room. I hope Rin's either sleep or at the pool. I didn't want to think about Yesterday's altercation.
I pulled out my phone and text Kai first. He said he was gonna be there, early with Kimiko -and they'll save a seat for me.
"Thank goodness.. " I mumbled. Setting my phone down and cleaning up my mess of papers. Katy left her phone behind, so I decided to go through it. Those rumors had to be what they are -rumors - right? I saw Messages from Rin asking was she okay. Apparently Katy hurt her leg during practice and Rin was worried. Nothing juicy.... until I read her messages to Sosuke.
I'm really really sorry about that.
Don't worry, We'll work something out.
Well try to anyway.
How? I slept with Rin while you were at the doctor's office.
Did it mean something to you?
No..
Then stop worrying.
I can't. Not only did I break my pact with Jimi, but I lied to her -she's gonna hate me. I'm gonna cry.
I canceled out of her messages and slid it back to where it was. I didn't know how to feel -should I feel angry; because Katy lied to me about seeing Rin, Knowing that I wanted him.or should I just give up on this crush of mine? Find the note and rip it apart - all three pages of it.
That sounds like a good idea.
"Hey Jimi... I have horrible news. " Katy was coming back. A frown on her face -I really wanted to rip those lips from her face. "Sosuke and Rin are at the pool getting ready for the tournament."
I sighed to myself, before walking into the shower. I can't let her know that I saw her messages, not when the wound was fresh.
Play it cool.
I took a deep breath and went to take another shower. Getting dressed in a cute top with some jeans on. I played with my hair before leaving to find Kimiko and Kai. We were supposed to meet at the dance hall.
"We can stay up here.. " Kai said while running up the steps to the very top. The crowd was coming in, and I can see Katy and her line of friends sitting rows away from me.
"Isn't that your friend? " Kimiko asked. I nodded and kept watch for Rin. I saw him standing near the rail talking to his team, then he saw me -and smirked.
"And there's Rin-chan. ~" Kimiko cooed. I was blushing when she grabbed my hand and waved it at Rin.
"Oi! Rin-san! " she called, I,saw Katy watching us and giggling. I looked over at Kimiko and she hugged me close; Katy must be upset. She stood up and walked down towards Rin. They were talking, and she was smiling. That was when she slipped something in his hands. He held up his hands and said something ,and then walked away. Katy didn't look happy.
What I'm more concerned about was what she gave him?
What was that in his hands? Whatever it was - Rin flipped it open and started to read it. He was reading and walking while going to the locker room. What was that?!
"I wonder what he's reading. " Kai pondered. Katy looked back at me,and winked. How long has she lied to me? She had the note the entire time. Why did she give it to him? I pulled out my phone and text her.
What did you just give him?
A parting gift. Since he said he didn't want to talk to me. I wonder who made him decide that?
Idk, maybe Sosuke really is working things out with Rin.
No response. I watched her look over her shoulder at me. Her eyes widening and she looked so pissed.
You went through my phone?!
And dropped a selfie in there too. Lock your phone next time.
You're a bitch you know that...?! We'll talk about this later.
Like Hell we are..
I didn't bother staying long, just so Rin saw me here .I actually left when it was his turn to swim. I went to the store and bought some yarn and food,but when I got home; Katy was there.
"Why would you go through my phone?! " she yelled.
"You lied to me this entire time! You told me that you didn't like Rin, but here you are touching and making out with him! "
Katy was too pissed to even realize she was yelling. Her eyes were watering.
"I couldn't help myself! Sosuke wasn't home, I needed something to do! "She snapped.
"That's the whole entire point of this damn pact! " I argued. Standing up,while she sat down. "To make sure neither of us didn't come to this school and become sluts! So no one can spread stupid ass rumors about us!"
"This whole pact was the reason why I did it!" She said, wiping her tears. "Because you ask for too much,Jimi! You became this bitch, and changed! Just because you want to die a virgin, doesn't mean I have to go down with you! "
That hurt. I felt myself breaking down as we argued. We were letting each other know what was going on. How we felt and everything. We were yelling pretty loud too,but we didn't stop. We just yelled and screamed.
"Do you want to know why I'm such a bitch?! Why I ask for too much from this pact?! " I snapped out. My eyes were watering. My vision blurring. It was too much for me -for us. I hated this feeling inside of me -this envy.
"Because I'm so jealous of you, Katy..! I hate how I can't be as outgoing as you are.! The way you smile and capture every guys' attention. How friendly and positive you are! I hate it! I hate it so much,because I can't be as straightforward as you ! I can't be as beautiful as you are! " my tears was coming down my face, and weight was being lifted from my shoulders. "And now, I may not even know if Rin has the same feelings for me as I do for him! Because he likes you.. everyone I want likes or loves you, and I hate it so much..!"
Katy stood up and held me in her arms. We were both crying.
"I hate how smart you are.. " she whispered. "I hate how you have everything kept inside, and won't let anyone understand you. I hate how well protected you are. How crafty and creative you can be. the way your so distant to others. The dreams you have. The pain you endure. I want it so bad, Jimi. I love you, because to me,you are beautiful. " She kissed my head. "I'm so sorry for the pain I've caused you. I just wanted to be free. "
I held her tight by her waist.
"Freedom is a beautiful thing,but it can also hurt you. "
That's why I guard myself. I didn't want to be hurt. I wanted to love and be happy, but I don't want feel jealousy biting me. I never knew Katy was jealous of me. She has everything she wants, but yet, she had envy in her heart too. Who would've know that one boy can rip our friendship apart?
After what felt like hours of silence, I poked Katy's arm and nuzzled here neck. She groaned.
"I bought ice cream.. " I mumbled. Katy began to smile.
"Cookie dough? " she asked. I nodded. Grabbing my bag and two large spoons.
Digging into the large bucket of dairy goodness.
"We should make another pact. " Katy suggested. I glared at her. Did we not just get into a big fight about pacts?
"Okay...? " I questioned.
"We vow that we'll fall in love and make a family. No matter how long it may be. " she declared. I scooped another chunk of dough and stuffed it into my mouth.
"Easy first you to say. " I sassed back.
"Oi... I saw that look Rin-chan gave you. He wants you. "
I shook my head.
"That was aimed towards you."
We giggled. Katy shook her head,after her scoop.
"No,I'm sure he was looking up... not the other to his right.. "
I shrugged. We laughed.I reached my hand over to wipe so cream off her chin,and ended up smearing it. Katy was in shock.
"Sorry. " I said,but she was nodding at me. Wiping the cream from her face, and sprayed it all over my cheek,even across my nose.
"I forgive you.. " she said. I flicked my spoon at her, and she flicked it back. Throwing a chunk in down my shirt.
"We should go get Matsouka to help you with that. ~"
Shit. The relay!
"He's probably upset with me,so I'm staying away. " I said.
There was a knock on the door.
"It's open!" I yelled, while eating ice cream. It was Sosuke. His hands in his pockets and his eyes on us.He sat down in front of us.
"I wanted to check on you -I heard yelling from down the hall. " He said. We both were blushing.
"Everything's okay." Katy said with a big smile on her face. Sosuke nodded ,before taking her spoon and shoveling up his own ice cream and sticking it in his mouth. His brow furrowed and Katy was laughing.
"Braaaaaaainfreeeeeeze. ~" We both said, before laughing. Sosuke was glaring at us,until I pressed my finger on the roof of my mouth. He nodded, and did the same. Chewing on a cookie dough.
"Where's Rin-san? " Katy asked. Sosuke's eyes landed on me.
"He's still in the locker room. "
I looked down at my phone and saw that he text me.
"I'm gonna have to buy more ice cream later,huh? " I asked,eying them both. Katy nodded. I sighed, and stood up. Walking my way over to the closet, grabbing my swimsuit and heading out to the pool. Ticking my monokini in my jacket.
When I saw Rin, he was sitting on the bench in front of the pool. His head down and his hair looked like it was still wet. Was he waiting for me? I slipped in and walking towards the rail. You know that feeling you get when you're alone with your crush who now may know you're smitten by him, and now you're scared that he may reject you? That clenching feeling that makes you want to run off and hide from him? That's the feeling I have right now. The way his arms looked in his jacket was killing me. I just wanted to snuggle up to him like yesterday morning. But I'm scared I'll never get that moment again. He was standing up, his hands holding a piece of paper - The note. When he turned around, I wanted to feel invisible to him. I was so used to rejection that I didn't know if I can look into his eyes.
"For a minute there I thought you weren't gonna come. " he said. "You were busy stabbing Katy or something.. "
I felt so nervous. I held out my phone.
"Yo-You said we needed to talk.. " I said. God,why do I feel this way? Why does Matsouka Rin make me feel this way? Why can't I just give up and go back to being ignored for Katy's sake?
"I remember you now ...we were at the beach in Australia. 'Shark boy ' ?"
I looked over at him, and I saw it. When I was in Australia for dancing, I would go to the beach during the weekends. It was relaxing and beautiful to see, especially in the sunset. I remembered a couple of kids from school coming with me too. Rin was one of them. We would argue and fight -over shaved ice and smoothies from one shacks. That was when I gave him the name 'Shark boy'; it was supposed to be an insult, but he liked it. He kept calling me a dolphin ,because of the sound I made when my feet hit the water.
Well, that was his excuse - I always thought that it was something else.
Something that probably didn't make sense until we were older.
"Wow.. " I said, taking a good look at him. The image of a cuter, younger Rin still in my head. He was always tall to me, so now if felt familiar. The way he'd look down at me. I felt discomfort. My face was blushing under the light and he was smiling at me.
"Still as innocent as always, ne? " he says, waving me down to him. After a few minutes, I was now standing in front of him. I kept eying that note in his hands.
"Let's go for a swim. " he says. I shook my head.
"You just had a relay. " I insisted.
"And you have a fight - so let's go. " He said, before unzipping his jacket and throwing it on the bench.
Once that jacket was off,there's no arguing with him. I let out a sigh, and walked to the dressing room. Thinking about what exactly to say to Rin, and how this whole thing may play out.