TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of abuse and other topics that may trigger a person.
________
MANY YEARS AGO....
JIMIN POV
"You slut! I hope you die! Crazy bitch!" My eyes widened as I looked at the man infront of me. I was looking through the small gap of the door. My breathing was slightly heavy, and my heart was so heavy as I peeked in.
I just came back from elementary school. I was seven years old and it was back when I was in Busan. I flinched as I looked at my father who gave a punch to my mother's face, sending her to the ground of their bedroom.
"Jimin, if you ever see dada with your mommy, please don't make any noise, go to your room and be quiet."
"Just think of it as dada spending quality time with mommy."
Those were the words my mom would tell me a lot. I've seen my dada give mom lots of those, but it makes me jump when I hear the noises of him shouting and slapping in their room every night. And my mom would be silent. I still freeze in my place when I see that scene. I stayed silent as I looked at him.
As I shook away from my thoughts, I proceeded to go to my room, which was at the very far end and I opened the door before setting down my backpack, and I took off my uniform before settling down for the night.
-
"My son is sleeping well...," a voice trailed off and I slowly opened my eyes, my head was still cloudy since I just woke up, and it was still dark in my room. I rubbed my eyes slowly as I looked at the figure who was sitting at the foot of my bed in the dark.
"I'm sorry... did I wake you up? Jimin-ah, go back to sleep," a soft voice said in the dark and I reached out to place my hand on top of her hand, feeling the coldness of her hand.
"Mama....," I replied and she smiled at me through the dark, caressing my cheeks.
Then, my eyes widened as I stared at my mother. She had dark bruises on her face, and there was a cut on her lip. She smiled at me through her puffy eyes before holding my hand.
"What happened to you? What did dad do to you?" I ask and she smiled sadly before looking down.
"I'm alright. You're still too young Jiminie. Please, don't look at your father as a bad person. I beg you, please..," she said softly and I looked at her a for a few moments before nodding.
"Yes mom," I replied.
"Mommy wants to sleep here for the night, is that okay?" She asks and I nod before scooting to the side, making space for her befote she sits beside me, and she places herself down before wrapping her arms around my small body, warming me in her embrace.
-
"Don't tell your mommy, okay~? I didn't know you'd be home so early, Jiminie," a rough voice said as I made my way in the living room. This time, I was ten years old. My eyes widened as I suddenly stopped in the living room. Dark hair shadowing my eyes as I looked at the scene.
My father was there, and he had a girl with him. Who wasn't like my mom at all. She was definitely younger than my father, she wore a skimpy outfit, and he was chuckling with the woman as they were both seated on the couch.
"Don't worry about him. He's a dumb kid, he won't tell his mommy, isn't that right Jiminie~? I'll give you that bike you always wanted if you stay quiet~," dad said as his eyes narrowed at me, his gaze seemed different, and I knew I was gonna be in danger if I ever decline.
"Because if you do, you'll be in big trouble~."
I bowed at both of them, not knowing what to do as I made my way to my room. My mom didn't know anything about it. And I didn't tell her, because I knew she'd have quality time with dada again.
One day, I was with my mom in the kitchen. She was cooking silently, chopping onions as I was wiping the table, preparing to place down the plates for dinner tonight. She even put band-aids on her face to cover up her wounds, yet she still managed to smile through all of them.
"Jimin, will you be able to confirm something?" She asked, her hair was also messy and it was tied into a bun. Her plump lips that were just like mine were now paler than the usual color. She placed down the knife near the cutting board before looking at me, wiping her apron before putting her hands on my shoulders.
"Yes, mommy?" I reply. My eyes gazing at the visible bruises near her eyes and cheeks.
"Honey, please tell me if this is true or not...," she trailed off and I stared at her, waiting for her question. She smiled softly before caressing my cheek with her finger.
"Is dada seeing another woman?" She asks and I stare at her before looking down on the ground.
But I'll be in trouble if I say this to mom.
Well, not woman. Women actually.
But at the same time, mom must've already knew about that. And she just wants me to confirm it.
"Dada has been.... seeing other girls, but they're not as pretty compared to you," I said and she nodded slowly before standing up.
"Oh well, I was already expecting that. Who knew he was the same man who promised to take care of his son and wife but in the end failed to do that," she said before returning to her cooking.
But I didn't understand any of that.
"Mommy, where's dada?" I asked and she glanced at me.
"Probably coming home at night again as usual. You know how he is. But you don't have to miss him Jiminie. He's always here, you have your mommy here with you and she'll always protect you, alright?" She grinned and I looked at her before nodding.
"But still, don't hate your father for me, please Jiminie?"
"Yes, mommy."
-
"I'm home," a voice echoed in the house and my mom just finished cooking dinner. And I just finished setting the plates and glasses on the table. Dada was there, and he seemed to be in a good mood.
"Dada!" I said as I looked at the tall male infront of us. He had a huge smile on his face as he approached us, and it slowly faded as he looked at us.
"Hey Jiminie," dada said and I blinked at him a few times before looking down.
"I bought you a toy on my way here, I hope you'd like it," dad said as he gave me a paper bag, and I slowly took it, clutching it with my two hands.
"So... you're home," mom said and dad paused to look at her, before frowning.
"Why? Am I not supposed to come home?" Dad replied and mom looked down on the dinner that was cooking, and she looked at him, staring into his eyes.
"I want a divorce."
"What? What did you just say?!" Dad said loudly, gritting his teeth as he looked at my mom, and she was trembling as she didn't wanna have eye contact with him at all.
"I want a divorce...," she trailed off and dad's eyes widened, before walking towards my mom.
"You filthy bitch, if you're going to say something, say it out loud," he gritted out as he fisted his hands.
"You already have other women. Why can't you let me and our son be happy?" She cried, and dad grinned evilly at her before directing his gaze...
...towards me.
"So, even if I told that fucking kid of yours to not tell anyone he still did? Pathetic, you're both the same," he said before walking towards me.
"And you... you shitty son of that bitch over there, you're useless as fuck, so let me show yo-"
"Don't hurt him!" Mom cried as she ran towards me, engulfing me in her arms as my eyes widened. It was so quick as dad raised his arm, and he swung it at me as soon as mom hid me behind her back, taking the slap as it echoed in the house.
She fell on the floor, me still in her arms, as she quickly shielded me with her body. Protecting me as I looked at the glimpse of my dad kicking her by the side harshly.
"You're both useless! Your child is a fucking retard and I hope he remembers that until he grows up!" He said as he kept kicking my mom, even throwing her a bunch if stuff.
"AND YOU! You fucking whore, you're so desperate as if you love your child when he's literally in my side, and he always will be. Shame he takes your hideous looks," he continued as he slapped my mom again.
Mom was still silent as usual. And I was crying in her arms.
"Dada... please...," I cried as mom kept hugging me.
"You useless shit, come here!" He yelled and I screamed as he pulled me by the hair, releasing me from my mom's grip as he pulled me over to him.
His hand snaked around my neck, tipping it up, before grabbing something from the kitchen counter, then he stood infront of my mother. My body was facing her but my neck was tilted up by my dad's hand.
"Listen up, you slut. You wanna know why you don't wanna get divorced with me?" He grinned as he stood over my mom's limp body.
"D-don't! Please!" Mom yelled.
He then placed the tip of the knife into my neck, the sharp thing making me hold my breath as my tears kept rolling down my cheeks.
"If you run away or even try to tell anyone about this. Or even report this to the police, I'll fucking kill your child and burn his body somewhere," he threatened and my mom scurried on her knees before bowing infront of him.
"Please.... not my child. Not him! I'll do anything!" She yelled.
"Good, now you both better shut up. Or I'll seriously do it," he said before releasing me, and I inhaled sharply before kneeling down, coughing as my mom wrapped her arms around me.
Then, I heard the front door closed and my mom panted loudly as she pushed me into her embrace, her chin placed on my head and she kissed it before looking at me.
"This is all my fault... my.. fault..," she whispered as she kept running her hand on my hair.
"I hope when you grow up, you won't be like him. Please! Don't be like him!" She said under her breath and all I could do was stay silent as I felt limp in her arms.
-
I was 13 years old. It was the day after my birthday. And I made my way to the storage room to get the toolbox my dad ordered me to get. I entered the room and it was dark.
As I opened the lights, my eyes widened.
"M-mom?"
-
"She seems to have committed su/c/de sir, I'm really sorry for your loss," the doctor said as they carried my mom's lifeless body in a long black bag. I saw her in the storage room, and she was hanging from the ceiling, and she had a rope around her neck.
I was still scared from what happened.
She didn't even get to tell me goodbye.
My dad was still talking with the police officers and the ambulance, telling them about his statement as a husband.
But deep inside, I knew he didn't feel anything at all.
Mom deserved to rest, but she left me with him.
-
I was 14 when me and my dad moved to Seoul since it was his hometown. We already had a home and I was set to go to school. He was still abusive, and he manipulates me a lot. But he doesn't beat me like what he does to mom everyday. I also started my last year of middle school there.
Everyday, he brings a different women with him and I would always here weird noises from his room. I'd have trouble falling asleep because of it. Not until it continued for so long where I would literally not react when I see my dad doing the scene with other women. I would just look at their bare bodies twisted with each other and I'd move on.
I thought it was normal.
But then, I started to bring random girls ever since then too. I started at my last year of middle school. And I would continue to hook myself up with different girls, even make out with them with no mutual feelings at all. I fucked them and left them.
But it was not until I met Namjoon in the first year of my high school days. And I trusted him a lot. I told him about what happened with my life and he was so mad that he almost ripped his books into pieces. Then, he didn't hesitate to call the police and tell them discreetly about it. Which led to my father's arrest. He hated Namjoon for it.
But to me, he was a whole life saver.
"Hey hyung," I called as I laid my head down on his thigh. We were in the school study field with the other students. And he was silently reading his book as he sat on the ground.
"Hm?" He hummed.
"Why did you choose me as your only friend? Despite all the things I told you," I asked.
"Only a stupid person wouldn't take action for all the bad things that happened to his friend. I don't want you to suffer Jimin, like how I did," Namjoon said as he lifted his glasses, and I sighed.
"But.... won't it affect your reputation as a goody-two-shoes hanging out with the school's fuckboy?" I ask and he rolls his eyes, flipping through his Chemistry for College Students book.
"I don't care about my reputation. As long as I have a friend who makes my day less-boring, then I'm definitely fine," he says.
Then, some students passed by, giving us weird glances.
"Isn't that Park Jimin? The fuckboy? Why's he with our smartest student?"
"Can't believe it, he's a a guy who would be friends with rich guys too. Thought he'd only fuck girls."
"Wonder what Namjoon's reputation would be when the teachers find out he hangs with a fuckboy every day..."
"I know right, hey! Maybe you'd finally top him in the test!"
"Maybe Namjoon will be a fuckboy too..."
"See what I mean?" I whine as I slump down on him, my head still resting on his thigh.
"Smart boy and fuckboy seems like some kids show. Atleast, your grades got more decent thanks to me. You got red marks all over your card last semester and I fainted because of it," he said in a straight face and I snickered.
"Well, those are some benefits when you hang around with me. Atleast you're more happier now when you're with me," I wink and he rolls his eyes again.
"Hey Jimin....," he said.
"What?" I replied as we were still on the grass.
"I'm going to America as soon as I graduate. I'm gonna be one of the most successful companies there," he said casually.
"Of course! Rooting for you hyung! Don't forget about me," I smiled and he looked somewhere else, avoiding my stare.
"If you're still free of work in the future... you can help me! And I can give you the best position right beside mine!" He says and I smirk.
"Oh really? Then I'll wait, and I'll study hard to prove that I'm worth it to snag that job!" I grin.
And when I thought my household taught me what I thought were normal things, Namjoon taught me the real truth about normal stuff, and it's honestly the best thing in the world.
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(UNEDITED)
A/N:
Vote to give hugs to Jimin.
FINALLY! 2600 WORDS COMPLETED OMG-
You might say that HH is a Seokjin ff. Well yes, it focuses on Seokjin. But not only Seokjin, there are more characters in the book that I know people want to know and get attached to more :).
If you're experiencing this or have experienced something like this in the past, here is a hug for you. You are precious, you are loved, I hope my books become your comfort place and I hope you know you are strong! ❤
Cover by @iamdamnlazy❤