Calina's pov
Suffocating.
I was drowning, surrounded by the ocean. Holding my breath, I looked up, seeing the moon shine into the water.
The light of the moon was bright enough to make me see the marine animals in the water. However, I couldn't hold my breath any longer.
Therefore, I swam towards the surface. But every time I almost reached the surface I was pulled down again.
Frowning, I turned around in the water and let out a scream, wasting all my oxygen, as I saw his dead body in the water, his dark eyes open, glaring me.
Closing my eyes in order to look at his carcass, I thought I was dying next to him due to the lack of oxygen in my lungs.
But the time I opened my eyes again, I realized it was a nightmare.
Again.
One of many I had.
Back in reality, I shoved my daughter's ass off my face as she slept crazy, moving in her sleep, even kicking me sometimes.
Probably, I thought I was drowning in my nightmare as her little ass was literally suffocating me in reality. My chest was still heavy up and down from seeing him in my sleep. I was shaking.
Fortunately, she still slept, as I really needed a moment for myself. I didn't want my daughter see me like that, broken.
Sitting up, I closed my eyes, telling myself that I didn't have to be scared anymore, that everything ended on the cliff, like it started. That it was over.
I tried to think about my daughter and beautiful memories I gathered with her to calm myself down, which worked, as always.
As I calmed down, I looked at her, yawning. I was exhausted from my night shift in the hospital yesterday, but seeing her or being around her can boost my energy very high, she was the joy of my life.
Smiling, I hugged her, forgetting all my worries as I did so. "Good morning!" I muttered, still smiling, pulling her closer, kissing her cheeks.
As she slowly woke up, she giggled, melting my heart with her angelic voice. I loved seeing my baby laugh. Her giggles made my smile bigger.
"Who will turn three today?" I asked her sweetly. "Hmm," she hummed pensively, before clapping her hands, giggling, "Mommy!" I laughed.
"No, not mama but mama's princess," I said to her, sitting up and pulling her onto my lap. Now that I was straightening up in bed, I noticed that her cheeks were a little red.
"Do you have a fever?" I mumbled with a frown, kissing her forehead. My lips felt hot against her forehead.
"Alright, I think you need a shower to cool off," I muttered, "and if you're not getting better, we'll go to the hospital."
"No," she said, pouting. I didn't like the idea of spending her birthday in the hospital either, but we wouldn't have a choice if her fever didn't go down.
"Let's have a shower then," I said with a smile, getting up from bed, carrying her into the bathroom. As we entered the bathroom, I put her down before taking her clothes off and putting her into the shower.
After setting the water temperature I hang the shower head on the hook before applying some shower gel to her body. Then, I applied shampoo on her head and began to gently scrub her head.
"Mom, are you going to work today? It's my birthday?" she asked, looking at me with hope, hope that I wouldn't work today.
"No, I'm staying with you today! All day! I don't want to miss my baby's birthday," I smiled, kissing her cheek, which made her smile, her eyes sparkled with happiness.
I took off from work today and gave her nanny free for today too to celebrate her third birthday with her. My baby was turning three and of course I wouldn't miss her birthday, I couldn't spend a lot of time with her because of my hospital shift.
When I was on nightshifts, I would come home early in the morning and I would be exhausted as hell. And when I worked regularly and came home in the evening, she fell asleep. I wouldn't lie, it was hard to be a single parent.
I wanted to take best care of her. That was also one of the reasons I left my maternity leave early and applied for my fellowship at the same hospital as Emma and started working, leaving my baby at home with a nanny most of the time.
Sometimes, I felt bad that I couldn't give my baby the attention she needed. I knew babies needed a lot of attention and love. And I tried to spend as much time with her as possible, but I also had to keep ourselves financially stable.
I couldn't rely on Bob for the rest of my life. He'd done enough for me already. Now, he also had a son with Emma.
And I didn't want to bother them with my problems anymore. They deserved to be happy and have some peace after everything that happened because of me and my stupid generosity.
That was also the reason why I moved out of their house. They were always there for me and supported me in whatever they could, but I knew they needed some privacy too.
I couldn't live alone as we first moved to the US because I had anxiety issues and felt paranoid. I felt lonely and scared after everything that happened to me. Every time I closed my eyes I saw his face and felt like he was coming to trap me again.
I've had nightmares, lots of nightmares. But the fact that I wasn't alone, having Emma and Bob by my side, helped me get rid of them. I felt safe staying in their house and my anxiety got better with time, as I lived with them, too.
Then, I had Zia, holding her in my arms, made me strong again. She made me feel alive. She was the reason I breathed as of today.
Seriously, I would do anything for my baby. I wanted the best for her. I wanted to give her the life I couldn't have, and I knew I couldn't do that when I was living in my fear and paranoia.
That's why I knew I had to move on in life. Therefore, I moved into the house next to them, starting to build a life for my daughter and me.
And over time, I even realized that my fears were ridiculous as I didn't hear from him for a long time now. If he didn't show up until now, he wouldn't show up anytime soon either, right?
However, I still didn't know exactly if he was alive or not. The jump off the cliff seemed fatal. But I didn't think he was dead as his death would be all over the news considering he was a well-known businessman.
Maybe he hit his head while jumping and forgot about us? Maybe he couldn't find us? After all, Bob was an excellent hacker who had worked for my father in the past. He was one of the best at his job and if he made us disappear we would be hard to find.
Though, there was another man who was as good at his job as Bob, but he was dead. Esmeralda said she shot him.
Therefore, there was no reason for me to be afraid, my daughter and I were safe. He had no chance of finding me and drawing me back into this terrible life. I got rid of him. He was no longer a part of our lives and I would do anything to keep it that way.
"Mom, I'm clean," she muttered with a sweet frown on her face as I still scrubbed her head while I was lost in my thoughts.
"Oh! I'm sorry, baby," I said with a sigh, turning off the water. Then, I got her out of the shower and helped her put her pink bathrobe on.
"Why do you look so cute? You are so cute that I want to kiss you again and again," I said with a smile, crouching in front of her and drying her hair with a towel.
"Mom! Stop it!" she giggled, making me chuckle. "On one condition! I'll stop when you brush your teeth," I said, picking her up to sit her on the counter by the sink.
"I brush my teeth every day, mom," she said with a cheesy smile as I put toothpaste on her brush before handing it to her.
"I know," I said, kissing her head before putting toothpaste on my brush and started brushing my teeth.
When we finished I took two glasses and filled them with water before rinsing out our mouths.
"What do you want for breakfast? I'll do whatever you want," I told her as I carried her back to our bedroom and put her on the bed.
Bending down a little, I kissed her forehead, and thank god she wasn't as hot as before. It seemed like we didn't need to go to the hospital.
She had her own room, but she preferred to sleep with me and I didn't mind at all. I loved cuddling her.
"Pancakes?" she asked me with a smile as I took some clothes out of the closet for her and put them on the bed.
"Good choice! You want to watch TV while I make the pancakes?" I asked, after putting her clothes on, and she nodded with a smile. "Then go! And call mom if you can't open the TV!"
"Thank you, mommy," she said, hurrying out of the room. I watched her leave with a smile before getting dressed and going into the kitchen. I decided to shower in the evening because I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible.
As I was in the kitchen, I started cooking without wasting time. I mixed all of the ingredients before making the pancakes.
The moment I did the last pancake, the doorbell rang. "Mom, door!" Zia screamed from the living room.
"I know," I muttered as I put the last pancake on the plate before heading to the door. "Oh, and baby?" I stopped and looked at her as I passed the living room.
"Yes, mom," she said, looking at me from the TV. "No screaming in the house," I said with a raised brow.
"Okay, mommy," she said before the doorbell rang again. "Mommy, the doorbell is ringing."
"I know baby," I sighed before heading to the door. As I opened it I saw a tired looking Bob with Boris in his arms and a smiling Emma. "What happened to you?" I asked, amused at the way he looked.
"Boris," he yawned, giving him to me, before going into the living room. "What did you do to him?" I asked Emma as I followed him into the living room. "He literally looks like a ... zombie."
"He's just over-dramatic, I didn't do anything to him, it was his turn to watch Boris during the night and he woke him up more than usual," she rolled her eyes, making me laugh.
"Go to your daddy, come on," I put him on the floor and he walked slowly to Bob who was lying on the couch, Zia was now sitting on his torso.
"You know he likes to sleep," I told her as I went into the kitchen.
"I know, he loved taking naps with me while I was pregnant." She shook her head with a smile as we entered the kitchen. "You made pancakes?" she asked, walking to them.
"Yes, Zia wanted to start her birthday with pancakes," I said, taking plates and glasses out of the cupboard before putting them on a tray. "I hope you didn't have breakfast? I made a lot of pancakes."
"No, we haven't," she smiled. "Great! Could you bring in the pancakes, Nutella, and jam, please?" I asked her while I was carrying the tray with plates and glasses into the living room, starting to set the table.
"Do you make your guests work?" she asked me as she put the pancakes, the Nutella and the jam on the table. "You are not my guests, you are my family," I winked at her.
"Okay, you're right," she smiled, helping me get the table ready. Emma took Boris, who was trying to climb onto the couch to reach his sleeping father, and put him on Zia's old baby high chair. She didn't use it anymore, but I kept it home for Boris.
"Come on, baby," I said to Zia, taking her in my arms before letting her sit on a chair at the table. I put a pillow under her seat, so she could reach the table and eat comfortably.
"Do I smell food?" Bob asked, sniffing the air with his eyes closed. "Yes, and if you don't get your ass up and have breakfast with us, you won't get any," Emma said to him.
"I'm coming!" he muttered, getting off the couch, hurrying to the table, eating a pancake. "You really made them? They taste delicious!"
"Honey, please, could you stop talking with your mouth full and show some manners?" Emma asked as he chewed like a cow.
"I warned you that he was far from a gentleman when you married him," I shrugged jokingly. "I know I should marry you instead of him," she sighed dramatically.
"I have heard that!" Bob said, looking at me. "Stay away from my wife, Hooker!"
We still didn't have enough money to change our names. We bought two beautiful houses and furnished them a bit expensive. In the end, there was no more money for some fake IDs with decent names as we also had to fake two diplomas.
"It's not me, it's your wife who can't stay away from me," I smirked at him. "I'm really scared sometimes that she's going to leave me for you," he told me with a grunt, making me laugh.
"Are you serious? You're jealous of me?" I asked him with tears in my eyes, this shit was just too funny.
"Alright, guys! I don't want you to fight for me on Zia's birthday! You can fight for me another day," she said with a grin, feeding Boris.
"Today is special, it is the birthday of our princess. Anything special you want for your birthday, princess?"
"Yes!" she said, clapping her hands. "What does my baby want for her birthday?" I asked her with the same excitement.
"I want a daddy!" she said with a big smile that made my smile fall and my heart clench.
I did my best to be enough for her, but if she was still looking for a father, then, I guess I couldn't be enough for her.
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