February came, just as cold as January, but didn't seem to drag on as long.
For some reason, the student population of Hogwarts seemed to get a lot more chipper at the arrival of February, likely due to promise of Valentine's Day. The school usually made sure that there was a Hogsmede trip around that time and the halls and common rooms were often filled with a dull buzz of chatter, about who was asking who and whether or not they'd say yes.
To Beatrice, it was just like every other Hogsmede trip and Valentine's Day was just like every other day of the year, despite what her friends may have to say about it. Before this year, however, she'd never had anyone to celebrate it with.
Edgar was the sort of boy that took Valentine's Day quite seriously. He treated her wonderfully all the time, of course, but something about the way he eyed other couples in the Great Hall and the common rooms led Beatrice to believe that there was an element of competitiveness in his nature that fuelled his desire to express to his girlfriend quite how much he adored her. This was a source of great amusement to Beatrice, who had never had anyone care about her so strongly.
Of course, what her mother had said to her at Christmas was never far from her mind when she was with Edgar. Whenever they held hands, her attention was always brought to her left ring finger, which in a matter of years, would be home to a no doubt extravagant ring. And Regulus would have a matching one on his left ring finger. They would share a house and a will and a name. Her name would be Beatrice Black. They would be the ones holding the Christmas parties, greeting other families and posing for portrait after portrait. The thought made her shudder.
Beatrice Black.
It began very hard for Beatrice to be around Edgar at all, for she was absolutely dying to tell him about the arrangement even though it was against her better judgement. He was competitive by nature and she figured that telling him that she was betrothed to her best friend may do more harm than good. In fact, it may do mostly harm and very little to no good at all.
So she suffered, which may have sounded dramatic to anyone else but it seemed to be just about the only word Beatrice could think of to describe the way she felt. Every time she laughed with Edgar she wondered if she would be just as happy with Regulus. Because she was happy with Edgar, after all, despite all the secrets and such. They were happy. So sickeningly happy, in fact, that on Valentine's Day, Beatrice spent the whole morning without thinking of the betrothal, and almost made it through the day.
Almost.
Due to Edgar and Beatrice's difference in age and house, they had to rely on mealtimes, weekends and afternoon's in the library to spend time together. On Valentine's Day however, they had taken to short moments between classes to chat.
"How was Potions?" Edgar asked cheerfully, slipping a hand around her waist.
"Beyond boring." She smiled. "How was Ancient Runes?"
"Beyond beyond boring." He grinned. "Turns out OWL's weren't the worst of it and NEWT's are actually harder."
"I could've told you that."
It was quiet then for a really long time. So long, in fact, that Beatrice had to look up to check that Edgar was still OK. He was deep in thought and even though his face appeared serene, she could tell there was something bothering him. "Edgar," she began warily, "is something the matter?"
"Well, nothing's the matter I suppose, I'm just thinking." His voice was soft and unassuming, in a way that comforted Beatrice because it was quintessentially him.
"Would you like to share those thoughts with your wonderful girlfriend?" She teased lightly, smiling up at him.
He looked up with a very serious expression and, out of nowhere, said "I love you, Bea."
The world around them shattered. Quite literally shattered. There was still a few stragglers in the corridor rushing to their next class but Beatrice couldn't hear them. She had fallen for Edgar so utterly hard, though the idea of love had never occurred to her. It had only been 3 months, give or take, and while she truly felt that she cared for Edgar a great deal, well, she wasn't quite sure she loved him.
In fact, she wasn't entirely sure she was the type to love anyone at all.
Her thoughts must have shown on her face as Edgar nodded dejectly and turned away. Beatrice grabbed his arm, forcing him to stay. "No Edgar, listen..."
"You've been distant since Christmas." He interrupted her, taking her slightly by surprise. He was usually incredibly polite in conversation. "Did you think I hadn't noticed?"
"Please let me explain." She begged, closing her eyes and sighing. She should've known this moment would come sooner or later.
"It's Regulus, isn't it?" His voice was low and sinister, with no sense of nervousness or fear. This scared Beatrice the most. He almost sounded angry.
His question took Beatrice by surprise and her voice got caught in her throat. It came out quite and raspy. "How did you know about that?"
He scoffed, as if she had just confirmed his suspicions. "Well you haven't been very subtle about it."
"Please, Edgar," she begged again, refusing to let go of his arm, "let me explain, there's so much you don't know..."
"Apparently there is." He snapped. Beatrice flinched.
"It's Valentine's Day, can we do this later?" The pleading look in her eyes softened him a little bit.
He took a deep breath. "I can't wait any longer. I need to know now."
Beatrice sighed again, fearing she was running out of excuses. "If I could change it I would, believe me, but you've met my parents. There's no way I could change their minds, trust me, I tried."
His brow furrowed. "Your parents? What do your parents have to do with this?"
She opened and closed her mouth a few times, forgetting completely about the Defense class that she was becoming increasingly late for. "Well ... I'm not marrying him off my own accord, am I?"
"Marrying?!" Edgar exclaimed. If the situation had been different, Beatrice may have laughed on account of his reaction being so similar to hers when she first heard the news.
"Yeah, our parents raised us like pigs for slaughter so that we could marry and continue our bloodlines." Despite Edgar's frantic nature, Beatrice managed to remain relatively calm. "What did you think was happening?"
Edgar breathed through his nose and Beatrice thought she could detect a faint blush on his cheeks. "Merlin!" Now it was Beatrice's turn to be angry. She let go of his arm and took a step back as the realisation washed over her. "You think I love him, don't you?" He didn't say anything. "Don't you."
"Look at the way you act around each other. What was I supposed to think? How was I supposed to trust you when..."
"Maybe the same way I trusted you!" Beatrice was outraged. Of all the outcomes of the situation at hand, this was not one she was expecting. She couldn't think of anything to say. She felt that everything that needed saying could be interpreted by the dead air between them.
'It's over'.
***
Beatrice was late to Defense. She took a Saturday detention and dejectedly sat in her seat next to Freddie. Evie and Ruth sat behind them and Grace sat next to a Gryffindor boy on the desk to the right of Evie and Ruth's.
Freddie nudged the blank-stared girl and raised her eyebrows. Beatrice sighed, looking up to Professor Montgomery and, noticing that the class was deadly silent, tore off the bottom of her parchment and wrote:
Edgar and I are done. I'll explain later.
B.
She passed the note to Freddie, who rubbed her shoulder sympathetically. Freddie passed it to Ruth who passed it to Evie, and Evie stretched her arm over to pass it to Grace. A few moments later, the note landed just by Beatrice's right arm, crumpled up into a little ball. She opened it and saw a note in handwriting different to her own, written with green ink, contrasting the red of Beatrice's original message.
Bully for you, Dupont. Still, you'll find someone else. Always thought Blackcaster was a bit of a tosser.
G x
***
When Beatrice ate dinner that evening, the couples in the Great Hall mocked her. She had her friends of course (though Regulus was nowhere to be seen) and she supposed she'd had worse days, but she still couldn't help but feel embarrassed. They had broken up on Valentine's Day.
She finished her meal early and trudged her way to the common room. Her braids felt heavy, as if they were weighing her head down, and she got the sudden urge to rip them off completely. She settled on taking them out to keep her hands busy.
Just as she was thinking that the day couldn't get any worse, who should appear around the corner than Sirius Black, looking as nonchalant as usual.
He looked up at her and Beatrice groaned out loud. "For crying out loud, why are you always there?!" (It really had been a bad day) "Everytime something happens that sucks you're always just right there waiting to taunt me about it!" Sirius looked taken aback, but not hurt. "Why?"
Beatrice didn't think she had ever seen Sirius angry, and this situation was no different. Instead, he nodded contemplatively and took a breath to answer, as if she had asked him (quite calmly) whether he'd had a particularly busy weekend. "Well, maybe I'm just a bad omen." He smiled, as if it were some great compliment. "Or shall we just say it's fate and call it a day?" He was never angry but he did have a particular talent in being sardonic.
"Doesn't fate usually bring good news." She replied just as sardonically, somewhat calmer.
"Are you saying I bring bad news?"
"No." Beatrice admitted. "But you do tend to succeed it."
Sirius laughed in a way that suggested he thought this was fair. "And what bad news, may I ask, did I succeed this time?"
Beatrice didn't really think it was any of his business, but she was lonely and he hadn't really done anything wrong and, she decided as she ran her fingers through her now loose hair, she had very little left to lose. "A parting of the ways." She sighed. "Me and Edgar. Though, I know it's of very little concern to you as you thought he was a tosser anyways."
He nodded, almost, Beatrice let herself think, sympathetically. He took a moment and then, completely out of the blue, said "Why do you hate me, Beatrice Dupont?"
Beatrice gaped. "I don't ... I don't hate you." She managed to stutter out, somewhat truthfully. She didn't know what else to say.
He nodded again. "You act like it." He shrugged, once again without any anger in his tone. "No, I suppose you're right. You don't hate me, your parents hate me and you just love your parents. Too much to disagree."
Of all the encounters that Beatrice had had with the eldest Black child, this had to be the strangest. She couldn't recall a time he had ever been so honest (apart from the Quidditch story he had told her the last time they spoke). He was right, of course. About everything. She acted like she hated him for no good reason, and she loved her parents. She had never even put two and two together. "I'm sorry." It was the only thing she could think to say.
"I wasn't looking for an apology."
Beatrice had come to realise that Sirius had that certain affect on her. His sincerity always left her speechless, with no choice but to really evaluate her situation, whatever it may be. She wasn't sure she liked it, but all at once she felt entirely guilty for how she had viewed Sirius.
I wasn't looking for an apology. The words struck her harder than she expected them to. He had gone against eleven years of conditioning from his family and spent the years since doing everything he could to defy them. He knew what he wanted and he never apologised or asked for sympathy from anyone.
Beatrice decided then that that was why she acted as though she hated him. Because he was brave and she was not, and he knew it too.
"Is it difficult?" She asked before she could stop herself. "Distancing yourself from your family like that?"
"I don't like my family." He reminded her, not at all phased by the question. "And they distanced themselves from me first. But I still have Reggie."
Beatrice couldn't imagine living like that. She loved her family more than anything. "But ... aren't you lonely?"
Sirius scoffed then. "They never gave me enough love for me to feel lonely without it. I have the boys too. I just traded one family for another, and I don't regret it at all."
Beatrice nodded. The air was thick between them and it made her incredibly uncomfortable. She wanted to change the subject as soon as possible. "What are you doing in the dungeons anyway?" She hoped it was subtle enough for him not to notice, but by the smile on his face, it wasn't.
"Waiting for James to get out of detention, poor sod." He took his hand out of his pocket briefly to gesture to the Potions classroom.
"Right, well..." Beatrice shifted her weight from foot to foot, trying to think of something else to say. "G'night then." Her voice came out mumbly and shy and she wanted to kick herself as she walked past him to the common room.
"So you don't think it's fate at all," he called after her, "that I was there at the party after your first date with him, then after that Quidditch match when he was in the infirmary, and then now?"
Beatrice turned around and fake gasped. "Almost like you planned it, isn't it, Black?"
He smirked. "You don't think it's funny?"
She thought about it for a moment, trying not to let her smile show on her face. "I think you're just a nosy git, that's what I think." Sirius laughed at that and Beatrice felt a tug of relief in her gut.