J A K E
• • •
"What the hell are you wearing?" Ashton asked when he saw me walk out of my room. I sighed and paused, looking over at him on the couch.
"Clothes, would you rather me walk around naked?" I replied sarcastically.
"Are you going somewhere special?" He grinned, and I grunted. I was only wearing a button up and jeans. It was legitimately nothing fancy.
"I'm just heading over to the fair with a friend," I shrugged, and his eyebrows rose.
"Oh? Does my wittle brother have a wittle date?" He smiled, and I rolled my eyes.
"You and Layla are too alike, it's ridiculous. This conversation is over. Bye, I'll be back in a few hours," I grabbed my keys and started for the door.
"Don't make Gracie a cousin," he fake-warned, and I sarcastically laughed before reaching for the handle, but reluctantly paused and looked back over at him.
"Uh, so hypothetically," I started, and he shot me a smug smile at the presumed advice I was about to ask him for. It almost made me walk out the door right then and there, but instead I said, "purely hypothetically speaking, completely made up situation, but if you were picking up a girl, would you walk up to the door or call her when you got to her house?" Before he could answer, Crystal chimed in, walking down the small staircase.
"I wouldn't ask for dating advice from him. His methods include walking into people, spilling drinks on their white shirts, and then acting like he hates them," she mused, passing me and joining Ashton on the couch, who rolled his eyes but wrapped his arms around her anyway when she sat on him.
"You walked into me, and I wasn't acting," he corrected, but she simply ruffled his hair in response.
"Okay, before I have to listen to this argument for the thousandth time, could one of you just tell me if I should go to her door or not?" I asked, and Crystal looked back over at me.
"Is it a date-date? Like how official is this?" She questioned.
"I don't really know," I admitted, and she rolled her eyes in Ashton's direction.
"You and your damn lack of relationship skills rubbed off on Jake," she scolded him.
"I landed you, did I not?" He defended himself.
"Yes, well, that's because I'm amazing. We can't count on this poor girl to be as amazing as me," she ruffled his hair again, but he grabbed her hand and brought it away from him with a little glare. She chuckled and said back up to me, "I'd go to the door, unless she doesn't seem like the kind of person who would like that."
"Alright then," I scrunched my brows a little, "thanks, I guess?" I opened the door, and they started teasing me again before I shut it behind me.
Right as I got in the car and backed out, I got a call from Connor.
"What's up?" I picked up.
"Hey I- wait why are you in such a good mood?" He asked, and I rolled my eyes.
"Oh my fucking- WHY does everyone always ask me that?" I switched the car back out of reverse and started driving.
"Well, it appears I've ruined the good mood.. anyway are you going to the fair? I kinda forgot to plan a ride and I need one, so," he said, and I cringed when I almost hit a curb. Almost.
"Sorry little dude, my services aren't available at the moment," I replied, and he grunted. "Why don't you ask whoever you're meeting up with for a ride?" I suggested, but when he hesitated, I felt myself grin.
"Shut up," he said, and I laughed at the fact that he could tell what I was about to start teasing him about. "Yes I'm meeting him, and no you're not allowed to embarrass me."
"Oh come on, I never embarrass-"
"You literally make it an active effort to embarrass me," he rebutted, and I couldn't argue with that.
"Touché," I grinned again, "Can Paige drive you?"
"Maybe, she isn't back from work yet, though," he replied, and I saw that I was nearing her street. "I guess I'll ask her and then the other two."
"Good luck if it ends up being Crys and Ash that drive you. I think I'd rather just be a no-show at that point," I commented.
"Thank you for the words of encouragement. Truly motivational. You should go into public speaking," he sarcastically thanked me, and I chuckled.
"Alright, I gotta go, see you later maybe," I said, and he replied before I hung up.
I had texted her that I was on my way when I left, and thankfully, she came out of her house as I pulled into the driveway. Phewf, okay. Dilemma averted.
I let myself smile over at her as she walked to the car, and willed any redness on my face to go away as she opened the door and hopped in the passenger's seat. I forced a friendly smile onto my lips.
"Hey," My voice cracked. My fucking voice cracked. Goddamnit. Luckily, I don't think she noticed since the sound of her door shutting mostly covered it up. She flashed her dazzling smile my way a moment later, her pleasant, flowery perfume drifting over to me.
"Hey!" She replied, and I couldn't help but glance over her features as she smiled and buckled her seatbelt. "You know, for all the years I've been in this town, I've never once been to this fair," she told me as I pulled out of the driveway.
"Really? I usually go with my teammates, but I'd say I definitely made a huge upgrade this year," I accidentally flirted, but I didn't even have time to regret it before she responded.
"Well I'm excited to see what you have in store, as a professional-fair-attender that is," she joked, and I chuckled, casting a quick glance over at her and then turning my gaze back to the road.
"I'll try and make it worth your while," I mused back, then asked, "wait so, you've never had the Flynn's caramel apples? They have them at the fair every year."
"Nope. I don't even know what that is," she replied, and my jaw dropped slightly.
"You haven't lived."
"Apparently not, if you are getting this excited over them," she responded, and I raised an eyebrow.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I laughed.
"You're just a bit calm all the time is all," she shrugged.
"That's a very nice way of call me boring," I chuckled.
"No no no, I simply mean that you aren't very easily excited about little things like that, it seems. You're always so damn serious," she laughed again, and I shook my head, looking over and meeting her gaze for another brief moment before looking back in front of us.
"I'm only like that at school," I defended, not sure why I could feel myself slightly blushing. Maybe at the fact that she had cared enough to notice this? Maybe because I was embarrassed? I don't know... I'd found that when she was involved there was barely any use in trying to make sense of all my emotions.
"Prove it then," she said, and I furrowed my brows, "lets have the time of our lives tonight."
"Sounds good to me."
• • •
C O N N O R
• • •
"I told you, Jake will be here, too. It's okay," I assured her as we pulled up to the parking lot. My mom was a naturally nervous person, always somewhat paranoid about all the things that could go wrong. And never once did I blame her. I knew what trauma was like.. and sometimes it can just never really leave you.
"Okay, call Crystal to come get you when you're leaving. I'm absolutely pooped from work today, and I'll probably crash as soon as I get home. She offered earlier, so you're good," she told me, and I nodded.
"Thanks for the ride," I gave her a small smile, and she returned it, "love you mom." Her eyes softened as much as they usually did whenever I called her that.
"Love you, too, sweetie." I hopped out of the car and started walking towards the fair, hoping that I ran into Lucas before any of the other guys at my school.
Fairs always made me sad for some reason.. well I knew the reason, actually.. there were always just so many parents and families and kids. It made me jealous. And that's coming from me, who still had Paige as a motherly figure growing up.. I couldn't help but wonder how much it affected Jake. He didn't have any parental figures at all, really. I mean, he had Ashton and Crystal, but they were never parental figures necessarily.
Having to walk by happy couples with their little kids and bright smiles did hurt a bit, though.
Apparently it was my lucky day, however, because I saw Lucas sitting on a bench a little ways away. Due to the similar aesthetic as his, I assumed that the girl he was with was either related to him or a friend.. I hoped, anyway.
I wasn't sure how to approach him, but thankfully he saw me from a distance and waved me over with a smile. I cleared my throat and tried to cool my face down as I made my way over to him.
"Hey," he greeted me with a smile, and I returned it. "This is Alesia, she's a family friend."
"Hi, nice to meet you," she said to me, and I smiled.
"You, too. I'm Connor," I introduced myself, and she smiled with a nod.
"I'm gonna go find some popcorn, see you later," Alesia said to Lucas, and he nodded before she got up and left the two of us there.
Slightly rocking back and forth on my heels, I turned my gaze back down at him to find him already looking up at me. I prayed that the fair-lighting concealed the blush that instantly scorched my cheeks at the look in his eyes.
"So what do you want to do first, Cielo," my heart fluttered at that damn nickname again.
"U-up to you," I cursed myself for stuttering, and then added with a nonchalant shrug, "I wouldn't be opposed to the funhouse." He stood up. The slight height difference had me looking up a little at him, and I held back a gulp at our close proximity.
"I've never been in a funhouse," he said, "let's go," he grinned again, and I nodded, turning to start walking towards it. He walked along side me, and I couldn't even help but notice that even the way he walked just seemed so flawless. He was wearing his typical dark clothing and jewelry, but he looked even better than usual in the multi-colored lights surrounding us. I willed my eyes away from him and kept walking forward.
"So does she live with you?" I asked as we neared it.
"No, her family is just staying here for the time being. They have a room a few blocks down from my apartment," he replied, "our parents are good friends, and I had been good friends with her brother." I tried not to think to much about the 'had' in that sentence.
"Oh, nice," I nodded it off as we entered.
"Dios mio- what the hell is this?" He chuckled as soon as we entered, the very first area being a mirror room. I had no idea where to walk or what wasn't a mirror. I raised my eyebrows.
"Well damn," I laughed, too, surprised that we had already somehow managed to get lost.
"At least we look good," he commented, gesturing to our endless reflections that surrounded us. I chuckled and looked up to him next to me, the one thing that I currently knew was real and not just a reflection.
"Oh wait I think I see the way through," he narrowed his gaze in front of us, and I tried to follow it, but couldn't find what he was seeing. "Here just come with me," he put his hand around my waist and brought my slightly closer to him, starting to walk forward.
My face heated up and I might as well have committed butterfly genocide with how many butterflies lit up in flames and died in my stomach at it. When we finally did make it out of the mirror room, his hand lingered on me for an extra few moments, and I savored each and every one of them.
When he finally let go, I looked up at him, and he looked down at me.
"You're not a reflection, right?" I joked, trying to force my mind out of the gutter.
"I hope not," he replied, and I smiled. But then I heard what the next room was. A horror one.
I took one look at the fake blood that they had used, and fixed my gaze immediately on my feet, my breathing stopping fully in my chest. The memories fought to clime into the front of my brain, but I fought against them as har as I could while I kept staring down at my shoes. I only looked back up when I noticed the EXIT sign next to us.
"A-actually, I'm kind of hungry, wanna get something to eat?" I suggested, and he shrugged with a nod. Once we walked through the door and were outside again, calming myself down was a bit easier. Although if I had to keep seeing all these goddamn happy families, that might change.
We got popcorn and drinks, and then sat down on a bench that was away from most of the crowd.
"So tell me, why do you let those assholes pick on you?" He asked me, and I was a bit taken aback.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know, I just feel like you've sort of accepted their bullying," he elaborated, popping some popcorn in his mouth.
"Well, I mean," I looked away to think about it, "I guess I just don't care enough to try and change it.. and besides, what could I do?" I let out a laugh, which sounded a bit sadder than I thought it was going to.
"You deserve better," he refuted.
"I know," I met his gaze again, his deep brown eyes drawing me further and further in the longer I looked at them.
"Do you, though?" He glanced over my face, and my breath caught slightly, but I cleared my buzzing mind and racing heart to answer.
"Well I mean, if I'm being honest I've never really thought about it. It just kinda is what it is, you know?" I explained a little, taking some more popcorn from our shared bucket. "I don't care what they think of me, really, so I'll just deal with the bruises till I'm done with high school and then move on with my life."
"I used to get picked on all the time, you don't necessarily have to wait until you graduate to stop it," he responded.
"Yeah, but, I'm not you," I chuckled. He just scrunched his eyebrows together a little.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that you're, well, you know, you can seem a bit more threatening than me," I admitted embarrassingly, and he shook his head.
"You're very brave," he countered, and I gave him a slightly incredulous look, which had him laughing. "You probably can't see it, but you are," he added, and I just sort of looked at him with a wonder-struck gaze. If there was one thing that no one had ever called me, it was brave. Maybe out of sympathy because of my trauma, but never legitimately.
"You're pretty special, Cielo. And you probably can't see that, either, but it's true. The way you play," he met my gaze again, "it's basically magic." He finished.
"Says you. The way you play guitar is basically hypnotic," I countered, and he chuckled.
"Well it seems we've enchanted each other, then," he mused, watching as I took a sip of my drink, trying to hide the butterflies I got from that sentence.
"I guess we have," I conjured up the boldness to reply with, and tried not to take notice of the way his knee was resting against mine, or how easy it would be to lean in and kiss him. It was particularly difficult not to think about the latter as I stared into his eyes.
"I like when you look at me like that," he said, his voice deep and warm. I instantly was snapped out of whatever trance I had been in, my heart dropping to my stomach. How had I been looking at him?? Shit.
"Like what?"
"Like I'm the only thing you see," he answered with ease, but I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.
"Maybe you are," the words came out of me, and I saw his eyes flicker down to what I could've sworn were my lips. We got a bit closer, but then our attention was snapped away as we heard Alesia jogging over to us yelling Lucas' name. He sighed as she approached us, and I finally let my eyes go wide as I realized what I almost just let myself do.
"Yes?" He asked, and she looked at me as if debating whether or not she could say it in front of me. Lucas must have saw that, too, because he started talking in Spanish to her. And whatever she said back to him in response caused him to sit up in his seat, his expression shifting into one of utter concern. It was then that I noticed the tears that had streaked her face.
"Is he going to be okay??" Lucas asked, and my own eyebrows raised, now knowing that whatever they were talking about must have involved someone they both cared about. Alesia continued to ramble to him in Spanish, but she began to grow more hysterical as she went on, and eventually Lucas stood up to give her a hug, looking at me apologetically.
"I'm so sorry, I have to go, can I fill you in later?" He said, and I nodded.
"Yeah, if course, is everything okay?"
"Yes, it's a long story, but yes it should be," he replied, and between the amount of times she had said 'mi hermano' and the small detail of Lucas referring to her brought as 'had' being friends, I figured it was safe to assume that this involved her brother somehow.
"I'll see you tomorrow," I said, and he gave me a sad smile.
"See you tomorrow," he replied, and began guiding Alesia over to the parking lot.
Now alone on the bench, I stopped my brain from already criticizing every cringeworthy thing I had done tonight, and picked up my phone to call Crystal for a ride.
About 15 minutes later, she texted me that she was there, and I started making my way out to the parking lot. I noticed Jake on the Ferris wheel and would have tried to say hi if he hadn't looked so utterly transfixed by the girl he was sitting beside. I chuckled and kept walking until I spotted her car.
"What's up kid?" She greeted me when I hopped in, and I greeted her back. "Have fun?"
"Yeah, yeah it was good," I didn't mention Lucas, and thankfully she didn't press for any more information about the night.
"I need to get gas real quick," she said after a few minutes of driving, pulling into a station and pulling up into a slot. Once she finished pumping the gas, she opened her door and said, "it's not taking my money for some reason, I'm gonna go inside to figure it out, be right back." I nodded and she shut the door, leaving my in my silence.
I watched her open the door, but as she walked in, another girl walked out. It only took me a few moments to recognize that it was Alesia. She hadn't bothered to wipe the mascara-lines off of her cheeks when she had gone in to buy the pack of cigarettes she was now holding, and my eyebrows rose as I watched her walk over and get in to Lucas' parked car. What the hell were the odds..?
I couldn't take my eyes away as she handed him one, which he put in between his lips, and then put one of them in her own mouth. She lit it, and then leaned over to light his with the end of hers. My face heated up, but not in the good way, as I watched them, and then my insides got the same feeling when I saw her lean over and kiss him in the cheek.
She said something to him, and he gave her a sad expression, but when she then brought her lips to his, he didn't object. In fact, he kissed her back. As if they had kissed a million times before, it seemed that easy. She put out her cigarette and climbed on top of him, feeling her fingers through his hair as he leaned in to start kissing her neck.
Oh..
My face continued to burn in that saddened way as I looked away, but then looked back over again to see his hands in her hair and his lips all over her. He looked like he really knew what he was doing, and it only made my heart sink even more. I felt like the car was swallowing me whole.
I couldn't tell if there were tears starting to form in my eyes, or if my face had just gotten so hot that my vision was starting to blur a little.
"Alright let's go. I got some candy, too," Crystal said as she got back in the car and started it up. I thanked her as she handed it to me, but looked back over at the two of them and swallowed the lump in my throat that formed when I realized that Lucas had put his cigarette out, too.
I was relieved when she pulled us out of the lot, but the aching in my heart and intense jealousy didn't go away. The way she kissed him.. they no doubt had a history. And how did I ever expect to compete with that.
Crystal asked why I was so quiet, but I just told her I was tired, and when I got back to my house, my mom was in fact asleep on the couch. I shut the TV off for her and rested a blanket down on top of her before making my way up to my room and lying down on my bed.
I grabbed my headphones and tried to distract myself myself with the music, but it didn't work this time. Then the memories that had started to try and come back earlier officially did come back. All the blood filled my senses, and my biological mother's dead face flashed in and out of my vision- even as I kept my eyes squeezed shut.
And so, like I had many nights before, I just laid there and let myself cry.
• • •
Hey guys :) hope you're doing okay
QOTD: If you could spend a day with one character who would you chose??
>>> Probably Kevin if I had to pick. He'd make anything fun as hell lol
Love you all to the moon and back.
Stay beautiful,
Briella<3