Mizpah 𝖃 Bucky Barnes

By blumadonna

17.2K 1.1K 1.1K

Green was the color of the grass where I used to read at Centennial Park, I used to think I would meet somebo... More

𝖬𝖨𝖹𝖯𝖠𝖧.
𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗢𝗡𝗘. 𝖢𝖠𝖯𝖳𝖠𝖨𝖭 𝖠𝖬𝖤𝖱𝖨𝖢𝖠: 𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖥𝖨𝖱𝖲𝖳 𝖠𝖵𝖤𝖭𝖦𝖤𝖱
001. . . brooklyn museum
002. . . strawberries and cigarettes
003. . . l.o.v.e.
005. . . make a man out of you
006. . . needle to flesh
007. . . ring, ring
008. . . isolation ward
009. . . open a tab
010. . . i'll see you soon
011. . . empty glass
012. . . the interview
𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗧𝗪𝗢. 𝖨𝖱𝖮𝖭 𝖬𝖠𝖭 𝟣
𝖬𝖴𝖫𝖠𝖭'𝖲 𝖫𝖮𝖮𝖪𝖡𝖮𝖮𝖪
001. . . coda or crescendo
002. . . caesers palace
003. . . iwdws
004. . .special cheeseburger place
005. . .metal man
006. . .the truth
𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗘𝗘. 𝖨𝖱𝖮𝖭 𝖬𝖠𝖭 2
001. . . i see red
002 . . . fast cars
003. . . mayhem, oh my
004 . . . machine vs man
𝗔𝗖𝗧 𝗙𝗢𝗨𝗥. 𝖨𝖱𝖮𝖭 𝖬𝖠𝖭 𝟥 & 𝖠𝖵𝖤𝖭𝖦𝖤𝖱𝖲
001. . . i need a hero

004. . . mcmxliii

495 55 70
By blumadonna





( . . 𝑨𝑪𝑻 𝑶𝑵𝑬; 𝐶𝐻 𝐹𝑂𝑈𝑅 ━━━━━ ! ﹆◞ ❫
mcmxliii / 十九四十三
━━━━━
"I will always love you, Let go of a prayer for you, Just a sweet word—"




























WAR. IT CAN BE A NOUN, VERB, ADJECTIVE, OR ADVERB. It has many definitions but its main one is: a state or usually open and declared armed hostile conflict between states or nations. It was like a moth to a flame when all the young able men were rushing off to enlist. With their egos and pride swelling in their chests, they thought they were invincible to what war would bring, and so did Mulan.

Mulan was having a war in her mind after Bucky decided to drop the bomb of his enlistment on her after their night of lovemaking. But it's now a new year, 1943, and while he's off training in Wisconsin she's at her usual desk worrying her ass off about the tall brunette she calls her lover.

Is he alright? seemed to be the only thing that was crossing Mulan's mind as of late. With the point of her heel clicking against the wooden frame desk, bitting the skin on her lip raw from continuously gnawing on it the past month, and clicking her ink pen, anyone could tell she was worried. With Mulan having first-hand knowledge of wars, she was scared for Bucky. He was the best thing that could've happened to her and she won't let him slip through her fingers.

"MULAN?!" The lady at the desk repeated. She's been trying to get her attention for the past minute.

"Oh um," Mulan stammered before clearing her throat, "Y-yes, what is it Sandy?"

"Are you alright dear you lookin' a tad green in the gills, been tryna get your attention for a bit there, but uh, it's time to go," Sandy replied before pointing to the large clock displayed on the wall.

Tilting her head to the clock, she did confirm it was closing time and stood up and straightened her clothes. "I can promise you I'm fine no need to worry but uh thank you for asking. I'll see you tomorrow," Mulan assured, flashing a smile the didn't quite reach her eyes. She gathered her things and walked down the thick steps to the sidewalk.

Walking home wasn't the same anymore. Mulan was usually with Bucky on the journey but with his flee to Wisconsin the feel of him left as well. She missed the weight of his large hand in hers, how he would kiss along her shoulder in the mornings, the random thoughts at times deep in the night when they should've been asleep. She just missed him.

Before Bucky left he said Mulan could stay at his place whenever that it was as much hers as it's his, with half of each other's belongings at their places, there was talk about moving into either place but it was never confirmed. Walking into His apartment and not seeing his body laying on the couch reading the days paper or him and Steve bickering about the recent fight he got in gave Mulan a feeling of irritation.

How could he just want to go to war? was a question that ran past her mind. Mulan knows what can happen and his urge to want to do those things made her head surge with pain when she thought about it too hard. Bucky explained it wasn't because he was ready to kill people, but that he wanted to protect his country and his girl but that didn't satisfy her curiosity. They did have a small argument with raised voices and high emotions, of course they quickly made up. It will all be fine though because he would be back in her arms tomorrow.

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Mulan woke up with a smile for the first time in the month of Bucky being gone knowing she's going to see him a couple of hours. She rushed off into the bathroom to freshen up, humming an airy tune while preparing for her day. She had to pick up one of Bucky's favorite cakes as a welcome home surprise, force Steve into getting the ballons for when Bucky came home, and haul ass with Steve to the train station in time to get Bucky. It was going to be a fun day for Mulan so help her god.

Mulan briskly walked down the sidewalk from Mrs. Chen's bakery with the chocolate cake she introduced Bucky to a while back, which he surprisingly liked saying it was like his Ma's. She moved her sleeve back to check her wristwatch. It was 10:14 am meaning she had about three hours to prepare before having her man back. Which meant it's time to bust in on Steve and force, ask, him to be a part of her surprise plan.

Knocking on Steve's door repeatedly, Mulan let out a loud yet soft, "Let me in!" The blonde man swung the door open in confusion. Steve opened his mouth to question what was wrong before getting cut off. "You, my dear baby toothpick, are going to help me surprise my man, also your best bud, by getting some balloons, bringing them to his place, and coming with me to the train station to pick up said best bud before he gets here okay? Okay! See ya!" Mulan rushingly stated before turning on her heel to  take a step down his porch and continue her plan.

"What happened to hello, how are you, good morning?" Steve jokingly asks leaning against his door frame.

Mulan then turns around, "Hello and good morning to you sir! Now are you gonna help me or not? We're on a time crunch here man." She says in a sing-song with a bright smile before dropping her tone into a blank stare.

Feeling a tad intimidated by her gaze Steve goes to grab his jacket and slips on his shoes knowing he's not going to get out of her plan. "Yeah, yeah I'm in. Am I bringing em' to his place or..." He trails off.

"YES! Yes, I said that Stevie now hurry your tiny ass up before we run out of time!" Mulan gushed moving her hands frantically as she spoke. This made Steve blush and rush a tad faster leaving her at his door and walking down the street to the shop. Mulan stands there for a second then looks behind her shoulder to see his door wide open. She shook her head and muttered, "Men." before picking up Steve's spare key and locking the door.

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Mulan couldn't stay still at the train station. First it was bitting her lip then picking her nails and now she was bouncing on the balls of her feet with anxiety flowing and a sudden urge of nervousness. Steve's voice broke out, "'Lan you gotta' stop bouncing or I'm gonna chuck up, you know with motion sickness and all." He blurted with a grimace on his face noticing her anxious state. 

"Oh god, I'm gonna be sick. I feel like I'm gonna puke." Mulan warned as she bent over slightly and clutched her stomach.

"Hey, hey, hey now you can't throw up or I'm gonna throw up and then everything is going to be a mess-- look I think the trains pulling up now," Steve said as he gently rubbed her back as a way to comfort her.

Snapping her head up Mulan saw the train was just coming to a halt and rushed to freshen her composure. She grabbed Steve by the hand and walked closer to the train doors trying to see if she could get a better glimpse of Bucky. "I-Is that him...he looks a bit bulkier--bigger? Do you see that?" Mulan asked as she saw Bucky looking around for her.

Steve turned his head, raised his eyebrow, gave her a blank stare and said, "Everyone is bigger than me how would I know? You know what, I think you do this on purpose now-"

"OH MY, THAT'S HIM SORRY STEVIE!" Mulan squealed before running to Bucky.

She pushed past crowds of men to reach her lover. Both of their eyes lit up upon making eye contact and Bucky gave her the brightest smile she'd ever seen. He held his arms out just in time and caught Mulan, pulling her into a bone crushing embrace. The pair stayed in each other's arms for a few moments before Mulan pulled away and held Bucky's face, committing every feature to memory, then captured his lips with hers. No words were needed for both to realize how much they missed each other.

Mulan broke the kiss and placed her forehead on his and whispered, "You silly, silly man."

"As long as I'm your silly man I'll be just fine love." Bucky beamed with that smile she loved so much.

"You look so dashing with your little hat and uniform!" Mulan bubbled as she moved her hands to pinch his cheeks.

"I guess I'm third-wheeling again I see," Steve grumbled as he stood to the side.

"Aw come here punk you know I missed you too!" Bucky teased and pulled the smaller man into a bear hug.

"Yeah, it's good to have you back Buck. You wanna' come to the cinema with me and 'Lan?" Steve proposed.

"Would love to but I gotta drops these bags off first, I'll meet you there," Bucky said as he bent over to pick up said bags he dropped in his hug. Mulan then bent slightly backward to see his ass. She tilted her head and raised her eyebrows then nodded.

Steve noticed and gently nudged her shoulder and let out a small laugh and gently shook his head before saying, "Alright, cmon 'Lan let's get going before we miss it."

She ran forward to Bucky giving him one last kiss and a squeeze before announcing, "I have a surprise waiting for you at home." As she walks away she adds, "Oh and your backside looks mighty tight in those pants sir!" Leaving Bucky behind a blushing mess. A surprise? Shit...Is Mulan pregnant? Bucky nervously scratched the back of his neck. Bucky knew what unprotected sex lead to and the question stayed on his mind during his time in Wisconsin.

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Sitting in the cinema with Steve, Mulan laid her head on his shoulder and gently closed her eyes. She felt a tad sleepier than usual so she was going to take this movie as a nap time until her bladder kicked in. "Hey Stevie?" Mulan whispered gaining a 'yeah' in response. "I'm just gonna head to the ladies' room, I'll be right back." Steve nodded with a light smile. As she gathered her bag and pushed the exit door open she heard what sounded like a man yelling at the screen, but continued walking not knowing Steve was about to get his ass beat.

Getting dragged out of the theater and being beat up was not on Steve's to-do list today. He picked a trash can lid up to block the man's attack only to get it ripped away and punched again. The punch had enough force to knock Steve to the ground but he tiredly lifted his body up. "Jus' don't wanna give up do you?" The man taunted.

Steve held up his fists and breathed, "I can do this all day," then swung only to get knocked down once more.

The panting man looked down at Steve on the floor then he was grabbed and dragged away from the blonde by Bucky. "Hey, pick on someone your own size," Bucky growled at the man. The bully swung as Bucky dodged the punch and gave him one of his own, kicked him away, and turned around to greet his friend. "Sometimes I think you like getting punched." Bucky teased then picked up Steve's tan form.

"I had him on the ropes." Steve groaned holding a hand to his head in pain.

"How many times is this...Oh, you're from Paramus now?" Bucky questioned taking notice of the small man's paper. "You know it's illegal to lie on the enlistment form? First 'Lan and now you...I'm surrounded by criminals. And seriously, Jersey?" He shook his head.

With a grimace, Steve asked, " You get your orders?"

The brunette tilted his chin up and replied, "107th, Sergeant James Barnes shipping out for England first thing tomorrow."

Steve scoffed "I should be going," before he looked down and rubbed the dirt off his hands. "You tell 'Lan yet?"

"No uh, not yet, waiting for a good time...Don't wanna break her spirit just yet you know?" Bucky answered with a sad smile. He didn't want to leave his best girl, especially now. "You remember that engagement ring I showed you?" He asked, earning a crooked smile and nod from his friend. "Don't run your mouth and give her any hints okay? I'm gonna wait for this war to be done and then I'm gonna do it. I don't want it to seem like I'm only proposing 'cause of that." Bucky revealed making Steve promise he wouldn't ruin the man's plan.

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Walking back into their assigned viewing room, Mulan squinted her eyes as she glanced to their seats to see Steve wasn't in his anymore. Tightening the grip on her bag and brushing past people, she exited the building and searched the area for him. I know this little boy did not just ditch me here, Mulan muttered to herself as she made a left and walked past the building only to come across a beaten up Steve and Bucky talking in the alley of the cinema.

She leaned against the brick wall, crossed her arms, and put on her best "mom glare" and cleared her throat grasping the attention of the two men. "So, I leave to the restroom and get ditched in the theater for you to get yourself in a fight and Bucky come to your rescue or are you two in a secret relationship?" Mulan speculated then pursed her lips. The two men looked at each other and blushed before scurrying to explain themselves.

Bucky's face contorted in thought before asking, "T-the restroom, and uh what did you do in there?"

"Uh, normal lady things? What you askin' for silly, wanna see next time or something?" Mulan playfully invited. Steve widened his eyes and Bucky blushed.

Bucky reached out with a smile and wrapped his arm around Steve's shoulder. "Cmon man, it's my last night here! I gotta get you cleaned up." Bucky said, referencing Steve's bloody nose. The pair walked out the alley towards Mulan. Bucky kissed Mulan's cheek which made her sheepishly smile.

"Why? Where are we going?" Steve asked before being handed the newspaper Bucky was carrying.

With his arm wrapped around Mulan, Bucky answered, "The Future, and you're coming with us babydoll."

"Oh I am?" Mulan teased.

"You are." He assured flashing a bright smile.

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Steve, Bucky, and Mulan walked down the busy midway to the Expo with fireworks popping above. With Bucky's hand interlocked with hers, Mulan was too busy looking at the bright attractions to catch the boys' conversation. The last time she saw such a big spectacle was her celebration after the great war.

"I'd settle for just one," Steve told Bucky.

"You already know I want the same." Bucky reminded the blonde.

"Want the same what Buck?" Mulan asked rubbing her thumb up and down his hand.

"Nothin' doll, but we should get going before we miss it," Bucky noted before he squeezed her hand and the trio continued on their way.

"Welcome to the Modern Marvels Pavillion, and the World of Tomorrow! A Greater World, A Better World!" The announcer on the intercom boomed.

"C'mon guys it's about to start!" Mulan exclaimed then grabbed the boys' hands and pushed past people to the front of the stage.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Howard Stark!" The woman announced.

Howard ran on the stage with 5 dancers and a red car, took off his top hat, handed it to a brunette, and pulled her in to plant a big kiss on her lips before taking the microphone in his hand. He wiped the red lipstick off his mouth and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, what if I told you that in just a few short years your automobile won't even have to touch the ground at all?" Mulan tilted her head in slight suspicion of how true that statement is.

The girls then moved to take the tires off the car when Howard started again, "Thanks, Mandy. With Stark Gravity Reversion Technology, you'll be able to do just that." He clicked a button and moved up a lever then the car started to rise in the air.

"Holy cow." Bucky praised

"Wow..." Mulan said, surprise leaving her tone with her head resting on Bucky's shoulder.

There was a spark of electricity which caused a chain reaction and the car came to a crash on the ground. Bucky and Steve laughed out loud when Mulan flinched from the drop making her slap both of them on the shoulder. The crowd began to applauded though and Howard's voice erupted, "I did say a few years didn't I?" trying to ease the blow of the failing car.

Steve then looked around to see an Uncle Sam recruitment poster and snuck off to an enlistment center. "Hey Steve why don't we-" Bucky starts then turned around to see Steve not there anymore.

"How does that asthmatic move so fast?" Mulan whined out looking for her short blonde friend.

The pair moved out of the crowd when Bucky said, "Look I think he's at the recruiting place, I'm gonna go in and get him, stay right here doll. I'll be right back I swear."

"It's fine but don't take too long so I can show you your surprise." Mulan smiled. He let go of their connected hands and jogged off to catch Steve.

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Steve stepped up onto the platform in front of the solider poster to come up short, literally, when his head didn't fill out the empty space. A hand connected with his shoulder giving it a shove, "C'mon, you're missing out on the fun." Bucky said ticking his head to the exit.

"You go ahead," Steve told him with a shake of his head.

Bucky eyed the recruitment sign and let out a breath before looking at Steve with slight irritation "You're really gonna do this again?"

"Well, it's a fair. I'm gonna try my luck-" Steve shrugged before he got cut off.

"As who? Steve from Ohio? They'll catch you, or worse they'll take you." Bucky cut in.

Steve gave him a grim smile before saying, "Look I know you think I can't do this but-"

"This isn't some back alley, Steve. It's a war," Bucky starts.

"I know it's a war-" Steve interrupted.

"Why are you so keen to fight? There are so many important jobs out there!" Bucky complained. Dr. Erskine walked down the hall coming to a halt to listen in on the argument.

"What do you want me to do? Collect scrap metal in my little red wagon?" Steve mocked.

"Yes! Why not? " Bucky praised thinking he finally came around.

"I'm not gonna sit in a factory Bucky! Bucky, come on, there are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That's what you don't understand, this isn't about me." Steve snapped.

"Right, 'cause you got nothing to prove." Bucky chastised then a thick tense silence waved over the two.

Mulan then walked into the center and looked over seeing the irritation written on their faces then called out, "巴基! Stevie! Let's calm our big boy trousers down, please. Steve, I hope you get in, and you mister are coming home with me." She ended pointing at Bucky.

He shook his head and walked backward, "Don't do anything stupid until I get back." Bucky remarked.

"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you," Steve replied.

Bucky stopped and muttered "Jerk." 

"Punk. Be careful...Don't win the war till I get there." Steve called out. Bucky paused and jokingly saluted then went on his way home with Mulan.

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"Okay so for the surprise you have to close your eyes. And no peeking!" Mulan ordered.

Bucky snorted and pressed a chaste kiss to her temple, "Okay okay, I won't peek, I promise." He assured closing his eyes. She lead him into their apartment, got the cake out, and told him he can open his eyes.

Oh? was what came to mind when Bucky saw his surprise. He thought it was going to be something related to babies since he was sure Mulan was pregnant. "Oh, um wow baby I-I love it!" Bucky's voice faltered.

Mulan tilted her head and furrowed her brows but continued, "Yeah it's not much but I uh got that cake you loved and a new record...figured we could dance--but we don't have to, no pressure." Mulan shrugged feeling insecure, he didn't like it.

"NO," Bucky yelled out with wide eyes catching her off guard. He clears his throat and started, "No no I love it I swear it's just- well I know..."

"I know it's a war and all but you've been acting funny all day and I know when something's up, so," Mulan cut in before she made her way to lay down her coat and sat on the couch, "I'm gonna sit here and wait for you to cough it up, and you have until that icing melts to explain." She stated.

He released a breathy laugh and moved to kneel in front of her. His hands rested by the sides of her legs and inhaled, "I know that you're pregnant baby." Bucky blurted out. Mulan's light smile dropped from her face, her brows pinched as she opened her mouth to reply but he cut her off. "Ju-just hear me out here. I love you and you don't have to be scared to tell me. I would give up everything for you baby and I'm gonna support you and this kid with all I have. It's not like I would hate you, if anything I love you more! I-I just can't believe I'm gonna be a dad and not even see its birth or you growing-" Bucky rambled but his crying broke him off.

"Oh bubba..." Mulan trailed off seeing Bucky's tears and her heart broke. She instantly leaned forward to wipe away his tears and caressed his face. Mulan then brought his head to her chest trying to hug him in his position. "Baby I love you so much it hurts and I'm so grateful and feel so loved by your sweet words but um, I-I can't get pregnant. I was just nervous about you coming home. I'm so, so sorry. I get if you wanna leave me now since I can't give you what you want, I-I get it." Mulan explained looking in his eyes with a sad smile.

"I—'Lan, why'd you never tell me baby?" Bucky asked.

"I'm sorry, I don't know, I just," Mulan took a breath, "Just didn't want you to leave me 'cause you're like the greatest thing that could've happened to me. I just cant bear it." She exhaled and dropped her face in her hands.

"Hey, hey," Bucky gently moved her hands away and placed his on the sides of Mulan's face, making her look up. "I would never leave you. Ever. I love you too much for that. You're my everything baby, don't ever forget that. This won't change anything between us, I promise. Might sting a 'lil but we're gonna get through this. I promise you." Bucky declared and brought her face in for a loved-fueled kiss to show her his love.

The couple's night was spent eating the whole chocolate cake with a metal fork for Mulan and a spoon for Bucky because he's weird, that new record playing, and laughs filling the room. After their confessional, a new sense of commitment filled their relationship. Bucky made love to her into the late night as his "goodbye gift".

Leaving her that morning was the hardest thing he had to do, it was nothing like the first time. He knew he was going to be back eventually, but this was uncharted territory now. And even though neither said it out loud, they both knew that this could be their last time seeing each other. They stood at the train station with glassy eyes and aching hearts. Bucky kissed Mulan with all his might, as if trying to give her all his love and they shared goodbyes before he walked on the train taking him to war. Completely out of her claim.

















𝖦𝗈𝖽𝗌𝗉𝖾𝖾𝖽 𝖻𝗒: 𝖥𝗋𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝖮𝖼𝖾𝖺𝗇

" This love will keep us through
blinding of the eyes, Silence in
the ears, darkness of the mind,
Oh-oh, oh, I'll always love you
Until the time we die—"
























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𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 /yay so we are now in the script/actual movie so yeah celebration but that's about it. Drink some water today pls !

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