I looked up from my book. I wondered who the man next to Miss Stacy was. He was only a bit taller than her, and looked awkward. I then realized I'd seen him before.
It was Rachel Lynde's son.
I remembered what she'd told me that one day.
Was this the suitor Mrs. Lynde had set her up with?
If my heart was throbbing in pain I might've burst out laughing.
"Thank you for er- walking me to school, Caleb, you can leave now," she said awkwardly before hurrying into the school building.
He stood there a moment before turning.
"Mr. Lynde!" I called out.
He looked back, furrowing his eyebrows and approaching me.
"Yes?" He said, not sure what I wanted.
"Are you courting Miss Stacy?" I asked.
"N-No, but my mother has set me up as her suitor, and I think she's lovely," he said.
'Can't disagree with you there buddy' I thought.
I sighed.
"We all care for Miss Stacy very dearly, so should she decide to pursue this... whatever you and her have, you will treat her with the utmost respect?" I questioned. He nodded.
"Caleb, I told you to be on your way did I not? I find it quite improper for you to be talking to my students, so once more I'm going to ask you to leave," Miss Stacy said, coming outside and joining us. He nodded, tipping his hat and walking back.
"Do you like him?" I asked once he was out of earshot.
"No. I still don't understand why Rachel Lynde is determined to find me a suitor. I'm perfectly fine on my own. And while I suppose it can't hurt, I wish she would choose men who weren't so..." she paused.
"Boring?" I finished.
She nodded, and we began to laugh.
"My Jonah was the stuff of books. He was so adventurous and fun. I miss him dearly, but I'd say I like my life as it is currently," she said, and I nodded.
"I have no clue what I want. I know I'm supposed to marry a man of means or whatever, but I'd hate more than anything to live some boring plain life and only serve as a good wife to my husband," I said, and she nodded.
"Well, you'll find more open minded people like that in the city. I'm afraid people here are living in the 1850s," she said, and I laughed, nodding.
"I suppose they are," I said with a smile.
"Well, the school day awaits! Are you excited to learn more math?" She asked. I shook my head, and she laughed as we headed inside together.
I'd made up my mind.
—————
I pulled on trousers and a shirt, putting one of Gilbert's jackets over it.
It was late, and nobody would see me, but just in case they did, I had to look like a man.
I rode to the school, not wanting to be walking this late at night.
I dismounted the horse, letting go of the reins because I knew she never left us.
In fact, she followed behind me.
I smiled, petting her forehead before grabbing out my journal, ripping out the small piece I wanted.
I have taken notice of Miss Stacy
I felt my stomach turn as I posted it to the board. I knew I'd changed up my handwriting from my usual, beautifully put together penmanship, to something more rigid and ugly, but I was still nervous.
What would happen to me if people did find out who posted it?
I shook my head. No, they would never find out. Never.
I packed up all my stuff, careful to make sure I hadn't left any evidence behind.
When I was completely sure that I hadn't, I road home, climbing up through the window so Gil wouldn't wake up.
I changed out of the clothes, removing my boots and slipping into bed. I had no idea what the day ahead would bring, but I was glad I'd finally been able to admit it. It was wrong. I laid in bed night after night telling myself to go to church, ask the minister to pray for me. But I did not. No matter how sick I made myself feel, I couldn't deny my feelings.
That was for sure and certain.