"look what i found at the grocery store."
bee said as they threw down a stack of magazines onto the coffee table in front of me. i picked one up and saw michael and some girl plastered on the front. i guess word travels fast. i already saw it all over social media. to say it doesn't hurt would be a lie. but i also have to remember that we're separated. he isn't mine right now and he may never be. and i can't control what he does when i am not around.
"and you bought them?"
i asked as i raised an eyebrow at them.
"well, i wanted to show you what you're husband is up to instead of being here for his daughters."
bee said as i sighed. i think bee is angrier than i am at michael. i know that stems from their love for luna and leilia. that's where my anger comes from too. but there's also a part of me that is numb to michael's actions. almost as if i knew this was coming. michael can't be alone. he hasn't been alone ever. he's either lived with his parents, with me, or with crystal and i. now that he's on his own...he doesn't know what to do. and he's acting out like the child he is.
"we're separated. i can't do anything about it."
"well, in the eyes of the law and all of the fans, you guys are still married. and this is cheating, alex."
bee said as i ran my hands through my hair. i can't think about that. i can't think about the fact that michael cheated on me again. the fact that he chose some bimbo over his two daughters and i. i can't think about that. it'll fucking break me. thankfully, i heard crying coming from down the hall.
"we can talk about this later."
i said as i pushed myself up off the couch and walked towards luna's room. i frowned as i saw the crying toddler in her crib.
"what's wrong pretty girl?"
i asked as i picked her up. as i placed her hip and started to rock her back and forth, i felt a sharp pain rush through my stomach. a pain that is all too familiar.
"shit."
i whispered as i placed my hand on my bump. of course, leilia has to make her entrance when tensions are at an all-time high. and when i'm only 35 weeks along. i walked out to the living room and sat down on the couch with luna in my arms. about 10 minutes later, another contraction wracked through my body.
"you okay?"
bee asked as i winced from the pain, trying not to wake a sleeping luna on my chest.
"no. leilia decided that today, of all fucking days, she wants to come."
i said.
"isn't it too early for her to come?"
bee asked with panic written all over their face. maybe i should've had sierra stay here with me cause i have a terrible feeling bee is going to freak out.
"yeah, she's still a month early. can you just call sierra to watch luna please?"
i asked as the contraction subsided. i placed luna on the couch and walked down the hall. i laid down on the bed and grabbed my phone to dial michael's number.
"hello?"
michael asked as he picked up the phone. hearing his voice could just make me break down into tears. i miss him more than anything. but this isn't about either of us right now.
"m-mikey? how quick can you come home?"
i said as i wiped some stray tears that escaped my eyes.
"um, it's intermission at the show right now and then we have the whole second set. why? what's wrong?"
michael asked me.
"i think i'm going into labor and i'd really like to put our shit aside so you're here for leilia."
"wait, aren't you only 35 weeks?"
michael asked with panic in his voice. i swear to god if one more person asks me that, i'm going to lose it.
"yeah so i'd really like it if you're here."
"okay, i promise i will be there. I'll be on the next flight out after the show."
"okay. i love you."
"i love you too."
michael said before hanging up. no matter what has happened between us, i will always love him. he's the father of my children. there will always be love for him there.
+
"i'm going to kill michael."
i groaned as another contraction wracked through my body. once we got to the hospital, the doctor told me i am already at seven centimeters. i guess leilia isn't taking her sweet time like luna did.
"it takes two to tango."
bee said as they rubbed my lower back. i am so grateful for my best friend. i would be all alone if it wasn't for bee being here. and i don't think i could ever do this alone.
"shut. up."
i said as i glared at them. i heard my phone ring and answered it to see michael's face pop up on the screen.
"hey baby. how are you doing?"
michael asked me.
"it hurts. my water broke and the doctor said i'm moving along super fast. it's way different and way more painful then with luna. are you almost here?"
i asked him.
"um, so, about that..."
"michael."
i said sternly as my eyes scanned his face. i can see the worry written all over his face.
"my flight is being delayed another two hours. i promise i'm trying. i'm going to be there."
michael said as i rolled my neck. that's when another contraction hit me.
"holy fuck. we are never having kids again."
i groaned into the bed.
"just remember to breathe."
michael said as i rolled my eyes. very much easier said than done when a baby is coming out of you. after my contraction was over, the doctor walked in and said i was at 10 centimeters.
"michael."
i whined as bee held the phone for me.
"hey, i'm right here. i'm right here for you, okay?"
michael asked as i nodded. after two hours of pushing, the room was filled with cries and leilia was placed on my chest.
"hello leilia."
i said with a smile as tears fell down my face. i looked up at the phone to see michael crying on the phone.
"she's perfect. i can't wait for you to meet her."
i said to michael before placing a kiss on leilia's forehead. the nurse took leilia away from me and bee followed her over to where they were cleaning her off. i could hear bee talking to michael on the phone but i began to feel lightheaded.
"michael."
i whispered as i struggled to keep my eyes open. what the hell is happening to me? there's something so wrong but no one is paying attention to me. and then came the point where i just can't keep my eyes open.
michael's pov
"alex!"
i heard bee scream as a huge commotion happened in the room. my heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach. one second bee and i are staring at leilia and the next second everyone is screaming alex's name.
"what is going on?"
i yelled at the phone.
"i-i don't know."
bee said as tears filled their eyes. I've never seen bee cry. something must be seriously wrong.
"can't you just tell me what's happening to her?!"
i heard bee scream at a doctor.
"we will when we figure out what is going on."
i heard a doctor say before i heard a door slam. bee looked down at the phone, tears rushing down their face.
"what is going on bee?"
i asked them.
"i-i'll talk to you later."
bee said as they hung up. i sat back in my airplane chair as my own tears fell down my face. i can't lose alex. i don't even care about leilia right now. i can make another child but i can't make another alex. i just need her to stay alive. i need to tell her how much i love her and how much i want to be with her. i need to apologize to her. i need to at least say goodbye. she can't leave me. not yet.