how it feels to be alive {tom...

By fairiesandfeathers

341K 12.6K 8.4K

It has been 20 years since the Battle of Hogwarts. Lucia is conflicted in her life, and even more so when she... More

how it feels to be alive
playlist
one: sweat
two: coffee
three: immortal
four: towel
five: lacy
six: alone
seven: war
eight: singing
nine: wish
ten: goosebumps
eleven: confrontation
twelve: movie
thirteen: feelings
fourteen: tension*
fifteen: fling
sixteen: clouds
seventeen: stoned
eighteen: touristy
nineteen: persuasive*
twenty: morality
twenty-one: irrevocably
twenty-two: polyjuice
twenty-three: borgin
twenty-four: damsel
twenty-five: ecstasy
twenty-six: magnolia
twenty-seven: comfort
twenty-eight: emptiness
twenty-nine: aching
thirty: hogwarts
thirty-one: desire*
thirty-two: rosier
thirty-three: joint
thirty-four: first day
thirty-five: victoire
thirty-six: lord
thirty-seven: detention
thirty-eight: fast fingers
thirty-nine: sober
forty: slughorn
forty-one: jealousy
forty-two: emeralds*
forty-three: change
forty-four: light and dark
forty-five: halloween
forty-six: kinky
forty-seven: dirty
forty-eight: hangover
forty-nine: unfixable
fifty: foreign territory
fifty-one: cruelty
fifty-two: déjà vu
fifty-three: reparations
fifty-four: tongue*
fifty-five: nail polish
fifty-seven: love
fifty-eight: new years karma*
fifty-nine: erratic
sixty: rehab
sixty-one: released
sixty-two: reunited
sixty-three: graduation
sixty-four: expensive wine*
sixty-five: importance of occlumency
sixty-six: the pensieve
epilogue part one: soporific
epilogue part two: voldemort
epilogue part three: alive
thank you & final author's note

fifty-six: christmas

1.9K 114 66
By fairiesandfeathers

CHRISTMAS

A thick blanket of white, fluffy snow covered the roads and buildings of Hogsmeade. Many people were milling around the streets wearing large coats and fleecy gloves, getting any last minute Christmas gifts or food.

It was Christmas Eve, and Lucia and Tom stood on the outskirts of the small magical town, feeling well and truly full from the copious feast at Hogwarts.

Despite Tom's apparent dislike for Christmas as a holiday, Lucia insisted on taking him out and away from the castle.

"Close your eyes." Lucia smiled gleefully, looking at him expectantly with slightly red glazed eyes. She was wearing a thick, long black coat with a cream tartan scarf and black beanie, but the ice-cold air still brought a rosy tint to her cheeks.

Tom gave her a slightly concerned look, but shut his eyes in defeat. Lucia took a moment to admire his calm features, the cold bringing colour to his cheeks and the tip of his nose. His knitted jumper and black pants were covered by the dark grey of his coat, a black scarf slung around his neck. Lucia's hand slid into his, lacing their fingers before turning on the spot and apparating.

When the harsh pressure from all directions subsided, their feet landed on the cold stone of the street. As Tom began to open his eyes, Lucia slapped a hand over them. "Not yet!" She whined, pulling him toward the exit of the alleyway and onto the colourfully lit street.

Tom appeared slightly unnerved by his blindness, but a smirk crept onto his lips at the sound of Lucia laughing at him. An array of colours danced behind his eyes, flashing and morphing in a frenzy of chromatics that were almost dizzying.

She finally stopped walking, grasping his other hand in her own so that they were standing face-to-face. "Okay, you can open your eyes now." 

Tom's eyes fluttered open, slightly disoriented from the everchanging hues sashaying across his vision. When his eyes focused, he saw before him a monumental arrangement of Christmas lights, with an absurdly large tree central to the scene. Around the tree, people on ice skates circled hand-in-hand, with small stalls placed on the outskirts of the rink bearing Christmas goods.

When he looked back down to Lucia in front of him, her eyes were focused on him. The kaleidoscopic light was reflected in her irises, light washings of colour illuminating her skin. 

"To be quite honest, I was expecting some club playing bad Christmas music." Tom chuckled, "But this..." His voice trailed off.

"If you want the club, we can go to a club. But I know you are kind of over the partying, and I didn't think you'd ever had a proper Christmas as a child." Lucia explained, giving his hands a squeeze. "I thought you deserved to visit Christmas lights and an ice-skating rink with someone who loves you."

Tom felt that strange constriction in his chest and uncomfortable but pleasurable tingle in his stomach. "Thank you." He said gently, looking around once more at the closest thing to magic in the muggle world.

It was unlike anything he'd ever seen before. At the orphanage they were sometimes lucky enough to get a donated meal for Christmas day, and some new socks and underwear to last the year. But when he got to Hogwarts, the magnificent feasts and decorations went almost unnoticed for him, having not seen any point in the celebration.

This was different though, and it wasn't even about the place really. It was that someone had gone out of their way without his manipulation to do something like this for him purely because they loved him.

Lucia leant up to press a soft kiss to his lips before letting go of one hand and pulling him toward the display. Once they had hired skates from a small stall beside the rink, Lucia first went onto the ice. Tom followed her, carefully stepping onto the slippery surface.

"I assume you wouldn't have done this before, right?" Lucia chuckled as he grasped her arm for balance.

Tom sent her a playful glare, "Does it look like I've done this before?"

Lucia rolled her eyes and grabbed both his arms to help him balance, going backwards herself.

"I take it you have?" He raised his eyebrows at her confidence skating backwards as they began to travel around the circle with the other skaters.

"Yeah, Dad used to take me around Christmas time when I was a kid. I haven't been since then though, Mum is definitely not the outdoors type." She chuckled, checking over her shoulder every few seconds to avoid other people on the rink.

Tom began to get the hang of skating quite quickly, appearing less like a newborn calf and more his usual elegant, poised self. Lucia then made the transition to skating forwards and next to Tom instead. Their discussion ranged from their childhoods to the school year so far, and they became lost in the whirling of the rink. It could have been minutes or hours that passed, they weren't sure.

Those around them at the rink didn't really take notice of Lucia and Tom, nor did they take notice of them in return. Everyone seemed to be consumed in their own festivities, basking in the company of their loved ones.

They could have stayed forever, drinking hot chocolate with a mountain of whipped cream on top and eating gingerbread in the shape of angels and Christmas trees. It was a contentment that Lucia hadn't felt for a very long time.

***

They finally returned to Hogwarts, having had a particularly cold walk back from Hogsmeade that was aided only slightly by the hot chocolate still warming them from the inside out. 

It was after midnight now, so officially Christmas day. When they arrived at Ravenclaw tower, Lucia answered a Christmas themed riddle before leading Tom up to her empty dorm. 

He sat down on her bed, taking off his coat and scarf as she did the same, shedding their boots at the door. Lucia crouched in front of her trunk, rummaging through the clothes to find a present wrapped in green paper.

When she got up and sat beside him on the silky midnight blue sheets of her bed, she smiled and held out the gift.

Lucia was slightly shocked when he didn't take it from her grasp, and instead reached into his coat pocket to fish out a small present wrapped in black paper and tied with a thin blue ribbon.

"You didn't have to get me anything, Tom." Lucia insisted, sending him a look of gratitude.

"I know, but you didn't have to get me anything." Tom retorted with a challenging smirk.

Lucia sighed and took the gift from his outstretched hand, placing his own on his lap.

"You first." She urged, gesturing for him to open it.

Tom ripped the paper gently, revealing a black cover which he looked at curiously. When he pulled the paper back completely, he saw it was a photo album of sorts. As he opened to the first page, collages were revealed of photographs and memorabilia from everything they had done together.

The first thing he spotted is the receipt from the 24-hour café they had been the very night they met, followed by a brochure for the hotel they stayed at. Next he saw a takeaway menu from the vegetarian café, with a handwritten note on the side reading 'when I got Tom Riddle to have tofu and soy milk'

The next page he turned had photographs from the museum exhibition they had visited, captioned 'the day I knew I'd fallen for you'. This was followed by the printed photographs from Alannah's birthday party, both ones the whole group and just the two of them. His eyes paused on the one where she had leant up to place a kiss on his cheek, pleasant memories flooding his mind. Along the bottom of the page were lyrics to the song she had sung, with a side note 'I am just as embarrassed about this as you are'.

Next, the movie tickets from the day they saw the horror film were pasted in. 'I've never been so turned on in a horror movie' she had written beside them, referring to his teasing of her that day. On the next page was the photo from the London Eye, along with a printout of the tickets. Tom had completely forgotten they had taken a photo up there, but was surprisingly glad she had insisted on it.

When Tom flicked to the final page, his eyes widened. Lucia couldn't help but chuckle at his reaction.

Lucia had printed and stuck the photographs of her in just her underwear that he had accidentally seen that time so early in their time spent together, having known how much he loved that he had been the only one to see those images. One photograph was loose, a polaroid that he hadn't seen before. It was similar in that Lucia was lying on the bed, sheets twisted around on her legs and hair fanned out like a nimbus around her. 

But this time she wasn't wearing anything.

"That one is to go in your wallet." Lucia explained as Tom grasped the image between his fingers. His lips turned up into a smirk.

The back cover of the book simply read; 'You make my life worth living.'

Tom looked up at her after looking through the whole album, completely speechless. He felt like he had relived all the memories of the past months in a couple of minutes, and it was both overwhelming and incredible.

"Lucia..." Tom began.

"I know it's not some expensive gift, but I didn't think you'd had anything this personal before. I'm sorry if you don't like it..." Lucia rambled.

"Lucia," He cut her off by grasping her chin with his hand and tilting it up to face her, "I love it. I love it more than any expensive gift you could have gotten for me."

Lucia looked relieved, relaxing into his touch for a moment before feeling the weight of his present in her lap.

She reached down to the small gift, untying the ribbon and removing the paper with a gentle curiousity. She had absolutely no idea what he could have gotten her, but the fact that he'd even thought of her already warmed her more than any hot chocolate could.

A small black box was revealed, and as she removed the lid she was faced with a piece of jewellery that looked incredibly familiar. It was a silver chained necklace with a snake coiled around a gleaming diamond. There was a card beside it, reading:

Tutela Anguis,
A protective serpent.
Mimics the heartbeat of the owner of its matching ring.

"Did you get this at Borgin and Burke's all that time ago?" Lucia gasped, her fingers tracing over the spectacular looking necklace in awe, recalling her adoration of it on their trip to Diagon Alley.

Tom nodded, watching for her reaction. He then reached into his pocket and pulled out the matching ring, thick with a silver snake wrapping around its band and slid it down his ring finger on his right hand. 

He removed the necklace from the box, holding each end and gesturing for Lucia to turn around so that he could put it on her. The metal was rather cold to her already chilled skin, a sharp intake of breath coming from her as it rested against her chest. When he clasped it around her neck, he let his fingers rest on her shoulders, the heat from his hands radiating into her.

"Merry Christmas Lucia." He whispered, placing a soft kiss on her neck.

"Merry Christmas Tom." She fought to reply as his tongue swiped over her skin. She reached up to grasp the pendant in her fingers, and was instantly met with the steady beat of Tom's heart under her fingertips.

author's note

I have rewritten this chapter so many times you have no idea, sorry it took a while but here we finally go.

thank you so much for over 70k reads, I cannot believe how close to 100k we are getting.

merry christmas even though its literally february lol

I think there is only like 10 chapters left of this story, I can't believe it! if you've read up to this point, thank you but omg how?

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