MADISON
Walking to Aaron's office was much more nerve-wracking than I had thought. Probably because when he first told me about going to his office I was yet in that bliss and exasperation that I had never felt in my entire life.
Entering through the big dark-wood door brought back memories from the night I caught Aaron masturbating, and for lack of better judgment, joined him. I got goosebumps by remembering the scene that started it all.
Aaron's office was dark, a big cherrywood desk in the middle of the room, two red velvet chairs facing the back of it, and a black one on the other side, a closed computer in front of it. I remembered Aaron telling me on our night out at the restaurant that he had a bar in his office, and so I looked for it, finding a small bar on the left corner of the room. The same red velvet material from the chairs was used for the couch against the right wall. The office looked pretty profesional, few clutter on the desk and walls, a dark rug tying everything together. Very Aaron style.
I took a seat at one of the red chairs, facing Aaron who sat at the black office chair. I didn't dare mutter a word and embarrass myself by being a stuttering mess. I didn't know why we were both here, and I didn't try to hide my cluelessness.
"I'll get to the point." Aaron said with a serious face, letting his back rest on the chair carelessly. "Do you know what BDSM is?"
"Y-yes, I think so. Kinda like 50 shades of Grey?" I know it's probably dumb that a book/movie is my only guideline on the life of BDSM, but I still muttered the words.
"Yes." Aaron answered with a nod. "It's name consists of six words. Bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism. Each word contributes to what it would be the lifestyle of BDSM." I nodded, letting him know I understood. He crossed his hands on his lap, adding to the careless look he was mustering. "We've already done bondage, when I tied up you on my bed. Dominance and submission, even though it's more of a deeper part, it needs of two trusting and consenting people, we've already done it. Discipline. I disciplined you on the kitchen, fifteen spanks, however there are much more ways of disciplining someone. We'll talk about that later." He shrugged off.
"And sadism and masochism, those two going together. I'm not going to gain pleasure from hurting you if you do not enjoy it. It's a team's work. One inflicts pain, gaining pleasure from it, and the other receives pain, gaining as well pleasure form it. I know it may sound unhealthy and horrible, that's why 's and m' is one of the less talked parts, less shown.
"There will be people that will not understand us, call us freaks, think this is some kind of human torture, rape, abuse. But a thing you must know about BDSM is that it is always consensual.
"SSC." Aaron said the words slowly, enhancing its meaning, showing their importance. "Safe, sane, and consensual. Despite how BDSM scenes may look for an outsider, this three points are always taken into account.
"There are different subgroups, so to speak, there are people that gain pleasure from being degraded, people which like to behave like a brat and challenge their dom, people which like to act and dress younger than their age, and people who take BDSM a little further and make it their life, taking a part of it 24/7." I was stunned and amazed by what Aaron had said. I didn't find those people freaks, or abusers. Fuck, I was starting to see I was even one of them. Yet everything that Aaron had told me intrigued me, and I was sure I was going to google more information when I was alone in my bedroom.
"I want you to answer some question now." He told me as he retrieved a few papers from the desk drawer. He placed the papers in front of me and handed me a pen. "I want you to tick on everything that you would like to try. Don't try hard to go out of your comfort zone or tick things you wouldn't want to try to please me. It's your first time with BDSM, I wouldn't want to rush you." I nodded, reading the words printed in the paper below.
"There are things that may not be there which we could try over time. I will ask you after if you enjoyed it and would like to do it again, or ask you beforehand if you would like to try it. You being comfortable and enjoying what is being done to you is the main importance. We won't do something you don't feel comfortable with."
I nodded and diverted my eyes back to the paper in front of me.
1. Of the already done to the submissive thus far, which ones will the submissive be willing to try again?
- bondage ✔️
- cuffed ✔️
- chocking ✔️
- post-orgasm torture ✔️
- sex toys ✔️
2. Of the not done to the submissive thus far, which ones will the submissive be willing to try?
- flogging ✔️
- canning
- chosen food ✔️
- exhibitionism ✔️
- hair pulling ✔️
- humiliation (private) ✔️
- humiliation (public) ✔️
- forced nudity (private) ✔️
- forced nudity (public) ✔️
- mild blood play ✔️
- anal
- group sex ✔️
3. Is there any side note the submissive would like to communicate to the dominant? If so, write it in the space below.
I'm willing to try blood play as long as it's mild, not more than that. As for anal, not right now, but my thoughts may change in the near future. Sincerely, the submissive.
4. Safe word:
Unbound
I gave Aaron the papers back once I signed the space at the bottom like it dictated. This whole situation fell so intriguing yet weird. I'm completely sure I've never had to signed any papers to sleep with someone. But this was different. This was so intriguing and titillating at the same time. Both my mind and body were completely sure about what I was doing, what I had signed up for.
"As you may have read, I also asked you to write your safe word. Whenever you don't feel comfortable or want me to stop, just say the word and I will stop completely what I am doing. Don't see it as something to avoid, or something that will make you weak if you say, everyone has a limit, and it's completely understandable." I nodded, Aaron's words making me feel much more secure and comfortable in this new experience. This man had a way with words.
"Now do you have any questions?"
I took the chance and voiced a question which was haunting my mind. "Are we allowed to be with other people?"
"Some BDSM relationships do have a non-monogamist relationship, but I prefer not to. You're my toy, and my toy only." I couldn't stop my body from reacting at the way he referred to me. "Expect for if we decide to have group sex or I share you with another dom, our relationship will consist of us both. You don't see anyone else, and I don't see anyone else."
"W-will you share me?" I didn't know if the possibility aroused me or scared me.
"I don't usually like sharing, but it's a possibility." I nodded silently.
"Can I ask you anything?" I asked, now curious with all the information he had given me.
"Shoot."
"How long have you...you know, been part of BDSM?"
Aaron sighed before starting to talk. "On my late teens I was...watching porn, and came by a video of a girl tied up on a bed. She had clamps, blindfolds, gags; I didn't know what half of them were at that moment. The man flogged her, caned her, put hot wax on her." He said still laying on the chair with his intertwined hands on his lap. "And I liked it." He added after some time.
"I thought what they were doing was wrong. Immoral. I called them freaks myself. Yet I fucking enjoyed watching it. I did some research, learned what BDSM was, watched more videos, read, tried to grasp every information I could find. Yet I felt so fucking guilty while doing so." He said shaking his head side to side.
"I thought something was wrong with me. How could I ever like that? Want to inflict pain to someone. I felt disgusting." I listened intently, imagining a younger version of Aaron, so ashamed for what he enjoyed. "It took me years to understand that I was not disgusting. I accepted myself. Met people who enjoyed the same things that I did. Learned how to make it feel pleasurable for the other person. It was not easy, and it did took me years. But I'm finally here."
"You should be a poet. I think I shed a tear." I said truthfully, I really think a tear escaped my eye. Aaron rolled his eyes, a smile appearing in his face before he hid it away.
"Have you had a submissive before?" I threw on another question. If this was my time to ask then I was going to take advantage of it.
"It's my turn to ask." Aaron smirked.
"Go ahead." I nodded for him to speak.
"How were your last sexual relationships?"
I laughed before answering. "I had three so there isn't much to say. The first one was when I was sixteen, I lost my virginity to him. I'm not even sure if he made me come. Complete trash. Couldn't even find my clit if I guided him to it." Aaron laughed, showcasing his pearly whites. "Then there was Joshua, we were just fuck bodies. It was fun, careless. We were both young. Not much to say.
"Then Sam. He was like my first real boyfriend after the fiasco of a boyfriend the first one was. We had fun, I mean, it was complicated. He cheated on me. Three months ago." I laughed. "I'm glad he did though. I noticed how trash he actually was in bed after it. He made me come, sure, but there was no foreplay, no exhilarating moments. No, 'let's don't get caught' scenarios. It was vanilla, but don't let him hear that, we don't want to damage his ego." Aaron burst out laughing, and I was glad I had told him. He made a sad and heartbreaking moment transform into a funny one.
"So...will you answer my question?" I said after we both calmed ourselves. "Have you had a submissive before?" I asked as I neared the desk, propping my head on my hands as if he were about to tell some important gossip I needed to hear.
"Remember when I told you I met people that were into BDSM too?" I nodded, letting him continue. "Well I met them at a BDSM club. I've went to a lot but this one was the best, the most secret one as well. I go there sometimes to catch up with them, we're still good friends.
"I had two submissives there."
"At the same time?" I cut him off.
"Yes." He nodded. "It was nothing serious. I think it lasted...what? One year? Yeah, yeah. One year." I nodded really intrigued about the whole subject. I felt like the teacher's pet.
"How long ago?"
"A year. As I said, it took me a long time to fully get into the lifestyle." It's sad that Aaron had to spend a decade feeling ashamed and guilty of what he enjoyed sexually. Everyone has their kinks and fetishes, you don't see me insulting people with foot fetish.
"Have you ever thought about getting into BDSM?" Aaron's question stopped my thoughts for circling all day long.
"No. I didn't know much about it before you told me."
"But now you want to?" Aaron asked with furrowed brows.
"As I told you, I've never been sexually fulfilled. The few amount of things we've done have been better than what I've experienced my whole life. It doesn't mean that the people I was with were horrible sexual partners, although some were, but I wasn't fulfilled. Who knows? Maybe this is the thing for me?"
"Maybe it is." Aaron agreed with a smirk.
I chuckled and decided to ask something else. "Ok, my turn. Have you ever been in love?"
Aaron's playful smirk died down and turned into an annoyed and angry look. His eyes which I loved so much, blazing with anger. "End of the questions." He said before standing up and leaving me alone in the dark office.
HAPPY VALENTINES!!!💞🎉
I really wanted to upload a chapter on Valentine's Day so here it is. I felt like this chapter was really special and a conversation like that was much needed. I really forgot to talk about this the past chapter, but I read Writhing 101 and now I can't read anymore. That book raised my expectations so much. AMAZING!
Important question: Would you like for Aaron to share Madison once? Like for a sexual experience, and he would watch.
QOTC: Do you think Aaron has ever fallen in love? Who am I kidding? We all know he has. But who?
QBIB(Question Because I'm Bored): Whose your Valentines? Mine is my friend Fede Katz, but I'm single as fuck and proud of it. I don't need a boy in my life. What about y'all?
Have an amazing Valentines! Today is romantic movie night and we are watching The All-nighter, Me Before You (Sam Claflin is daddy) and Call Me By Your Name. What romantic movies do you like?
Bye,
Mart💐