For me, getting on my bike is such a freeing feeling.
No distractions.
No obligations.
No Bri.
My hair is at the perfect length to whip me in the face every time I turn my head even slightly to the side. There is something about the way that my knuckles turn white from the grip and my face turns red from the wind while I'm riding my bike that gives me this certain thrill that makes it so addicting.
Yet another vice to add to my list.
-
It's probably not a good thing that I use a waitress at a diner to distract me from my life. I know that.
Can she be classified as one of my vices?
Especially since Bri is the one who's supposed to be doing that for me.
Bri doesn't ease any stress, she is the root of it all. Most days, I wish that I could go back in time and never have gone up to her in that club. I like to imagine that my life would be so different if I just walked away from her that night. A guy can dream.
The boys are already in the parking lot when I pull my bike in. I can tell because Niall's voice is being carried from his car to the street. That kid wants the world to remember him; he doesn't wanna be forgotten, he wants to be a legend.
Luke is laughing along with whatever shit Niall is spewing out of his mouth. Calum, like always, is silently watching as these two seem to be having the time of their lives; bless his tolerant heart.
"Loverboy's here! How did we ever carry on without you?" Niall belts across the parking lot as I pull into the one and only motorcycle spot.
"Shut up, Niall," I am not really in the mood to deal with his uppity attitude right now. I feel bad whenever I snap at Niall just because I knows that he means well and just wants to find the best parts of life hidden in the shit of it all. I hate that Bri ruins everything for me. She has taken that ability away from me and it breaks Nialls heart.
"Hey man," Calum speaks for the first time since arriving. He looks back down to his fingers fumbling with his rings immediately. He seems upset.
None of them can ever seem to figure out what is going on in his mind and even if one of them asks him about it, he never tells us exactly what is going on. Calum is the definition of a closed book.
"Let's go eat. I'm fucking starved," I respond.
Walking in, Niall makes his usual dumbass remark about where we were going to sit, knowing that we only ever sit at one table.
That's my one rule.
I am not a nervous person. I'm not afraid of anything or anyone. But something about her just makes me get butterflies. Of course I'd never let her know that. I have convinced himself that I has to keep my face stern and mean whenever I'm in here because I can't let her see any kind of emotion other than confidence.
While she makes me feel things that I haven't felt before, I can't say she's my favorite person. She drives me insane, but in a different way than Bri does. Bri makes me want to scream out of anger and frustration and she even makes me hate myself because I let her have this much power over me and my decisions. This waitress makes me mad because no matter how hard I try to charm her, she refuses to give in or even give me any sort of reaction, which I am absolutely not used to. It also drives me crazy that she won't let any of us know her fucking name. She's never wearing a name tag when she serves us, which pisses him me cause I can see that she wears it when she goes to other tables. How immature is that shit? Why the fuck wouldn't she even give me the common decency of letting me know her name? Then she gets mad at me when I call her "babe" and "baby". What the fuck else are we supposed to call her?
I can tell that she sees us because she started to walk over to our table but stopped abruptly and took off her name tag. Bitch.
She walks towards me and my eyes can't help but travel up and down her body; taking in every last thing that they can before she disappears again. My eyes quickly snap back to hers and I furrow my brow again.
She's quick with her interaction, completely ignoring me the entire time which only makes my blood boil even more. She walks away and I watch as someone pulls her out of my sight.
God, she makes me so mad. I can't even explain how irritated I am when I'm around her. Yet, I can't stay away from this damn restaurant. The anger is so addicting to me.
"She's fit as fuck, isn't she," Luke mentions as she walks away, using British slang rather than his usual Aussie tongue.
"Don't even fucking say that, Luke. She's pissing me right off right now."
I need to make sure that they all know that I feel nothing but anger and irritation for this girl. None of them can know that I am fantasizing about bending her over the fucking countertop in front of all of the staff and customers.
"I don't know. I'd right like to bring her home and fuck her like I know she needs it," Luke says with a dark look in his eyes and a smirk slowly pulls into form on his face as he stares her down walking back to the kitchen.
My eyes snap to him and his jaw begins to hurt from how hard he's suddenly clenching his teeth together.
"Why don't you shut the fuck up, Luke? Don't be saying that shit about her, you don't know her," I nearly grind my teeth down to the gums.
"You don't know her either, H," Niall points out with a smirk.
"Well no shit, Ni. None of us do," snapping back to him with the obvious.
I don't notice that I'm digging my fist into itself until I feel that familiar feeling of breaking the skin on my scared palms. No amount of attempting to rewire my brain seems to work in stopping me from mutilating my hands every day.
Calum is sitting across the table from me, picking at his nail polish even though he quite literally just got them done.
"Stop, Cal," reaching over to stop him from ruining the fresh manicure, "You literally just got that on, don't ruin it." I know how much he likes getting them done.
He looks up and puts his hands back into his lap with small pale green flakes littering his thighs, knowing that he's going to be mad at himself later if he doesn't listen to me right now.
I love how Cal gets his nails done simply because it makes him happy. If he can find even just one small thing to pull him out of the fucking hell of a reality that they all live in, all the power to him. Luke gets them done with him sometimes, even though Niall picks on him relentlessly when he sees the white flames going up his nails.
I find it funny that Niall talks all this shit about it though, because he has seen him eyeing the polish wall in the salon whenever they go with Calum. No matter how many times Cal asks him to get his nails done with him, Niall refuses, for whatever fucking reason.
I really want to get mine done, but we all know that Bri would quite literally kill me if I came home with colored fingernails
There are a lot of things that I know that I can't do or wear without Bri taking her anger out on me or saying those spiteful words that cut deep into me. She makes me hate her.
I bet the waitress bitch would get her nails done with me.
But fuck her.
I would if I could.
"So Styles, what did you do to piss off Bri this time?" Niall asks jokingly, knowing that her explosions are hardly ever his fault.
I can feel my face heating up just from having to think about Bri and our conversation that prompted this trip to the diner.
I begin ranting to the boys because that's literally the reason that I asked them to come here with me.
"She just is fucking blaming me for one of the partners dropping the ball on the job today," my tone is coming off angry, but they know it's not directed toward them. "She acts as if I have control over everything that happens with the jobs. If anything, it's her fault that this shit fell through considering she's the fucking Queen of Everything in my life."
"You need to tell her to fuck off," Luke mutters knowing that she'd embed another knife into my stomach before I even finished the first syllable.
"Shut up, Luke. You know she's insane and would cut his dick off if he said that to her."
"Fucking thank you, Cal." I am hoping that Luke shuts the fuck up for the rest of the night, otherwise I'm gonna hit him again.
-
I must have just gotten lost in my own head for the last half hour because the girl is walking back over to our table. She is wearing the only thing that any of us have ever seen her in, her uniform. The dark green polo shirt that she wears hugs her body but still leaves some to the imagination, which drives me absolutely fucking wild. Her brown eyes quite literally pull me into her gaze and are only exemplified by how dark of a green her shirt is. Even in something as simple and bland as black work pants, a green shirt, and black waitress apron, she looks stunning.
"Here," my thoughts get interrupted by her placing the oval plate in front of me, avoiding eye contact as usual.
"C'mon, babe. Not any sweet talk or flirting to boost up your tip?" I know I shouldn't be egging her on, but I can't help it.
She glares at him me the side of her eye.
I kind of like how hatred looks in those golden eyes of hers.
She turns to smile at Calum before handing him his plate of food.
"Thank you very much," he looks up at her smiling.
She lets him make eye contact with her. Bitch.
She leaves the table without saying another word, turning on her heel and swaying her hips as she walks away.
There's something so captivating about her; I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to figure out what it is.
All I know is that I need to get her out of my head if I knows what's good for me.
A/N
hi lovelies!
I'm stoked to be getting past all of the introductions and getting into the good stuff here soon!
I hope you are all enjoying it so far and that you're as excited for the next chapters as I am!
Love you <3