LIZZYS POV
🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊
Day 32
It's early in the morning when shoot out of my sleep and sit up straight in my bed. My skin is covered with sweat and my chest goes hectically up and down as I breathe heavy. My face turns around to Lily's bed. She's already looking back at me with big eyes yet an emotionless look on her face. "We're leaving you know. You'll never see him again." She says monotonously. Her eyes seem dark and her lips are pressed to a thin line. Without any other words Lily quietly lays down on her back again. She looks up to ghe ceiling with her hands folded on her chest.
I blink a few times before finally jumping off my bed and running outside on the floor. In no time I make it to Johnny's room and hardly punch my fists against the door. There's no noice to hear so I just open the door to enter. Tears welled up in my eyes and somehow I panick even more than relax.
As I'm inside I spot Johnny comfortably laying underneath his bedsheets. He's still asleep. Without consideration that I'd be the reason to end a maybe beautiful dream of his I crawl on his bed and gently shake his shoulder. Johnny's eyes slowly open but once he seemed to recognize me he lifts his head. "Hey.. you alright?" He whispers.
"I need to tell you something." I tell him and grab his hand. I hold it tightly and can already feel teardrops running down my cheeks. This hurts so bad. "Johnny I'm in love with you. And I don't want to lose you, I don't. I can't! What am I gonna do? Eat ice cream all day and cry my eyes out underneath my bedsheets?" I whimper.
He's come to sit up straight too and now carefully pulls me to his chest. "I know Lily has forgiven me just hours ago but I don't know how to handle my emotions. I'm helpless I don't want this to end!" I just spat out my feelings like it would be the most normal thing to do.
I told him how much he meant to me and how angry I am at Lily for commanding us to break up. That on the other hand she is one of the most important humans in my life and I'd do anything for her and her trust. And that it's totally understandable how she's been acting lately. I just prattled and prattled until I couldn't speak anymore.
My voice breaks at the attempt to say something yet again. So I just shut up and cry. Tears went down my face like a waterfall. There's just too much inside me I didn't let out. I didn't want to let out.
I sniffle and grab into Johnny's shirt as my cries slowly but surely get quieter with the time. He's been staying quiet. He just kept on listening to me and letting me cry. It's all I wanted him to do to be honest. His hand went up and down my back to comfort me.
Then after another few minutes he softly spoke up again. "Do you see the sun coming up?" He whispers. I wipe away a few tears under my eyes before opening them. Turning my head a little I face the huge window and spot the sunrise. A light yellow ball coming up from underneath the horizon. "I do.".
"It's beautiful, isn't it?". I nod my head yes.
"You see, there's always going to be people who will try to convince you that sunsets are prettier than sunrises. For them it's right. Because that is how they feel. For me and other people it'll never be right. Because that is how I feel." Johnny says to me. His hand found a way to the back of my head. "There's always going to be differences in our feelings and opinions. Always. And the way to live with that is to accept what others feel and think. Some will always try to convince you to change your mind. Your job to do is to stay with your very own opinion. Even if that means you'll pretend to have chosen another way to make annoying fellows stay away from you. What really is important is that you stay true to yourself." He explains.
Only hesitantly I lift my head to look at him. "What are you trying to tell me?" I ask. Again I wipe my cheeks now that I'm sure I'm done with crying. I feel a lot better and lighter to be honest.
Johnny smiles weakly. "Our time was beautiful and I enjoyed it very much. You're a breathtakingly gorgeous girl. But when Lily tells you to like sunsets, it's probably the best if you just agree even though deep down you know you'll always going to be a sunrise lover. It's okay to pretend to be someone if that means you'll cause less pain. But remember who you are and what you want. It's what makes you to you.".
I silently nod my head at what he said.
"You know.. if this wasn't a dream I would've never even come up to you." I laugh sadly and lean onto his side again. I hug his torso as he sighs deeply before wrapping his arms around my body. "I know." Johnny whispers and presses a kiss on top of my head.
I feel my senses coming back and open one eye after one. I'm lost for the tiniest second but close my eyes again once I notice where I am. On the plane. Already heading back to Paris. Again I did not sleep well tonight but the nap I just took felt good. An interesting dream.
"Just in time." I hear Lily's soft voice from beside me. I humm lowly and turn to rest my head on her shoulder. Sighing a little I rub my eyes but still keep them close. "We'll be there in 15 minutes." She informs be. I nod my head a little and reach out on the table for my phone. As I can't find it anywhere I open my right eye just the tiniest bit to find my phone and earphones.
I put my favorite playlist on shuffle and listen closely to the songs. It distracts me from the loud thoughts I have. 15 minutes. Four songs. I grab Lily's hand when the plane lowers. But that's something I barely feel. I feel my heart beating faster with every second and there's a limb in my throat I can't swallow. I know there's no way to escape what's about to happen but I desperately wish there was.
When Lily shakes my shoulder I open my eyes. It takes a little for them to get used to so much light. As I turn my head to look out of the window I spot the airport driving by us. Well, we're driving by. Everyone raises from their seats. I pit my phone back inside my pants pockets and grab the little bag from underneath the seat where I kept my book, charger and stuff.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" I hear Johnny asking as he looks me straight in the eyes. Lily immediately turns her head to look at us. "Talk! not make out." Johnny sighs and takes my hand to walk a few steps away from the others.
"Before you say something, I don't want you to apologize or feel bad about the things that have happened between us," he starts when he's sure that his family can't hear us "it was a dumb idea, just like you said.".
My heart aches as my gaze falls down to my feet. "You th-think so?" I ask and it comes out more shaky than I thought it would. Johnny frowns at my question and stares at me for a moment. Sighing he shakes his head a little. "No. I just thought it'd make everything easier. I'm sorry. I'm not really sure what to say to you.".
"Say nothing. I know that it seemed dumb and irresponsible but it felt right. For me. And I know that I hurt Lily but she can't forbid me to fall fo-" I stop speaking. I won't say it, I won't say.
"..let's just go our ways and.. I don't know.. move on." I chuckle uneasily and bite my lower lip. Johnny nods his head and runs a hand through his soft hair. His chest moving up and down from breathing so heavily. "Okay." I mumble.
We then both walk back to the others. I keep my head down and kind of stare at the floor for no big reason. I'm not sure how to feel but uncomfortable. We all perk up at the sound of the pilots voice, calling out for Johnny as the plane seems ready to start off again.
Johnny's eyes wander to his family as a light smile appears on his lips when hugging Vanessa. "Take care. Bye." He says and kisses her cheek. He hugs Jack too and softly slaps his son's back. They both chuckle and smile at each other once they pulled away. Then he turns to Lily.
She's distant at first and looks unsure. But Johnny carefully takes her into his arms. I could barely hear what he whispered into her ear but I could understand the words "I never meant to hurt you, baby. Never.". She closes her eyes and eagerly hugs him back, saying "I love you, dad.".
Johnny pecks her forehead as he's letting go of her again. I take a deep breath which unwillingly made him look in my direction. I wish I could say goodbye to him like I would like to. "We should go then..." I shakily say and smile over my sadness. The three of them nod their heads and walk towards the doors, exiting the plane.
I shoot one last look over my shoulder to Johnny before walking down the staircase. Ugh this hurts more than I thought it would.
Making sure to not look back once more we walk straight inside the airport by dragging along our suitcases. Inside the building I walk straight towards one of those huge windows which basically are the whole wall. I don't know what Vanessa, Jack and especially Lily did but I just kept standing there with my eyes on the plane. Until after some minutes it eventually shot back towards the sky. And there I stood. Both hands resting against the wall of glass which I stood in front of with my eyes still on the plane that slowly disappeared into the clouds and in which someone very very very special was sitting in.
I can't hate Lily for acting this way and I also never will. I'm happy she's forgiven me. Still I feel like something wonderful flew away in that plane. Not only the person, Johnny, but the thing we had between us. I've never felt that way towards a person and in the current moment I doubt I'm ever going to feel that again. It's been five weeks and in this short time he got to own a very own place inside my heart. I may sound stupid but Johnny's the first man I fell in love with.
I never told him but I know I do.
I try to blink the tears away that unfortunately welled up in my eyes and I thankfully succeed. I take a deep breath as I'm letting my hands fall down to the sides of my body again. There's someone hugging me from behind and I smile when I see Lily resting her chin on my shoulder. Closing my eyes, I lean my head against hers and take both her hands in mine. "Let's go home." She says.
🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊
Lol it is so dramatic