Note before chapter begins:
ೃ⁀➷ Hi to my most favorite people on this
earth (my vocal & silent readers). I just want to tell you all how grateful I am that you take the time to support me and love this book the way I do. You all are each so kind, precious, and funny in your own unique ways and I'm beyond happy to have people like you who read my book. Thank you for your sweet words in my authors note, I appreciate each and everyone one of you.
Also, please don't make
fun of Catalina's stuttering in this
chapter.
C A T A L I N A
Gosh darn.
Peeing is so inconvenient.
I wish Lorenzo were in here. I miss my shortcake.
"Shortcake! I think I'm dying," I make myself wheeze and cough to make it sound realistic.
The door opens faster than I can say 'yo mama' and Lorenzo is standing there with furrowed brows, "The fuck?" He looks real scary and it kinda makes my tummy tickle.
"Can you hold my hand and stand here, pretty please?"
Lorenzo tries to look grumpy but he does a poor job at hiding his little smile.
Much too slowly, he comes over to me and holds my hand while I try to finish up my business. Maybe now that he's here my pelvic floors will relax and I can take a gosh darn pee.
"You just want me to hold your hand while you do your... stuff?" I don't miss the blush that takes over his features. Gosh. He's so fudging adorable.
I nod, a cheeky smile taking over, "Yes, you're here for moral support."
I hear a little tinkle and avoid eye contact with Lorenzo because I can feel my own blush burn my face. "Okie, I'm done."
Lorenzo looks away while I clean myself up but he grumbles when I pull my panties and shorts back up. "I wanted to do that."
Heading over towards the sink with Lorenzo following behind me, I reassure him that he could help me next time.
Softly, he pumps foamy soap into my palms and begins lathering my hands with it. I lean back against him and let my eyes flutter closed while he continues to massage the soap into my hands and wash them.
"Bubbie," I try to get his attention but he's too focused on kissing each individual finger on my hands.
"Hm?" His voice is so deep. I love it.
"Can we go buy some stickers?"
Lorenzo picks me and carries me to our bed before wrapping me in my Hello Kitty blanket like a burrito.
My name is Cat so technically I could call it a purrito.
NASA should hire me.
I should be the next president.
"Stickers, mia vita?"
"Mhm! I love 'em and I wanna put them all over your face if that's okie?"
Lorenzo leans forward while I'm stuck in the purrito he's put me in and kisses my nose. "Anything for you."
I start crying.
I cant fluffing help it, he's too kind.
"Baby," Lorenzo cradles me in his arms, "whats wrong, my love?"
My tears fall harder at his sweet words of worry. I love how kind he is to me.
"Nothing," I smile while giving him a sweet kiss on his lips, "You're just very good to me."
I notice his watery eyes and unwrap myself from the purrito, wanting to shower him with cuddles and kisses.
"Did I make you cry?" I sniffle a little too hard.
"No, I just realized that... that I-"
"That you," I kiss him on his sweet lips in between my words.
"That we have to get ready. You want to go get some stickers, no?"
I knew that's not what he wanted to say but I let is slide. He'll talk to me when he's comfortable.
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"This one?" I ask Lorenzo for his opinion while he carries a basket with multiple sticker books in them.
We were at a craft store and whenever Lorenzo saw me pick up something, he'd put it in the basket.
Generous man.
I don't deserve it.
I also don't deserve my bladder yelling at me to pee right now either.
"What's wrong?"
"What makes you think something is wrong?"
Lorenzo raises his eyebrows, "Your face, baby. Do you need to go use the bathroom, hm?"
Swoon.
Double swoon.
How does he know everything?
I eagerly nod and Lorenzo holds my hand, guiding us to the family bathroom. "Are we going to do the sexy time?"
"Don't tempt me."
Quickly, I do my business but before I'm able to pull my jeans back up, Lorenzo does it for me. "Whoa brutha." He's feeling up on my patootie and I don't think the family bathroom would appreciate the unholy things we're doing.
After multiple attempts of trying to tame Lorenzo, we finally leave the bathroom and I see multiple people outside the door staring at us with shocked
faces.
Were we too loud?
Oopsy hehe.
"Can I get this?" I show Lorenzo a sour lollipop and he takes it out of my hand.
"It's bad for your teeth."
I give him a deadpanned look, "Yes but I'm only going to live once and I take excellent care of my
teeth." Smiling, I show off my pearly whites as a way to provide evidence for my statement.
"Bene."
After paying, we head home since it was getting late and Lorenzo said I needed to eat dinner. He had a cook prepare a meal for us while we were gone since
he didn't want me to wait for him to cook something.
I should really marry this man.
Maybe have ten kids too.
A whole soccer team.
We go to the dining room and I sit on Lorenzo's lap since he was making grabby hands at me.
The pout on Lorenzo's face disappears when I cuddle into his lap. He's like an overgrown baby, it's so cute.
I put a spoonful of rice in front of his face and he kindly accepts the fact that I want to feed him.
"Mm," Lorenzo appreciates the food with a deep sound and places a kiss on the back of my hand.
I die.
Just kidding.
"Thank you, darling." Lorenzo gently takes me off his lap and grabs our plates, taking them to the sink once we're done eating.
I take his hand and hold it in mine as I take us to our room. "Can I brush your teeth?" If he says no I won't be a happy gal.
I'll cry, even. Maybe Punch him in the jewels.
"Okay."
Yay. Happy face.
We go to the bathroom and I sit on the counter. Lorenzo wraps an arm around my waist and pulls himself closer to me, handing me his toothbrush and toothpaste.
I reach for him so he bends down a little because he's so fluffing tall I still can't reach his face when I'm seated on the counter.
I shiver when I remember the things I've done in this bathroom.
Would Lorenzo still love me if I turned into a worm?
He tries to kiss me but I swerve his kiss. "Stinky," I lie.
Lorenzo's bottom lip juts out into a pout and his face falls. "Sorry. Just want a kiss."
My eyes widen with guilt and I feel my heart break at how sad he looks. "I- I was just kidding, I'm sorry. C'mere Shortcake, let me kiss you."
He bends down a little and I peck his lips. When I try to pull away, Lorenzo holds my face in his hands and pulls me closer. He kisses me again.
And again.
And again.
I couldn't hold back my happy giggles since he was being so cute. "I have to brush your teeth."
He grumbles but I can't take him seriously since he has a cute, bright blush on his face cheeks.
I love his patootie.
"Can I grab your patootie?"
"No."
Meanie. "Why not? It's so huge-mongus."
I grab his boober when he ignores my question. He shakes his head and gives me a serious look.
"It was an accident." Hopefully my smile can distract him from the fact that I grabbed his boober. He loves my dimples. "Okie, open."
I put one of my hands on his jaw. "Ouch, I cut myself," I dramatically groan and Lorenzo looks at me with concern.
"What? Where, baby?" He tries to hold my hand but I explain that it was just a joke since his jaw is so sharp.
He grabs my boobers with both of his hands. "They're so big."
My face turns ten different shades of red and I start kicking my feet back and forth because I'm shy now.
He finally lets me brush his teeth and I can't help but admire how perfect they are. He has the prettiest teeth.
And tongue.
Lord.
I need to go to church.
I'm tingling.
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My eyes flutter open and I notice the cracked ceiling. The mold growing on the walls. The hard floors.
I frantically shuffle back towards the wall as I begin to whimper.
No.
Please no.
I couldn't be here again.
My throat closes up and I can feel my body begin to burn as if a thousand fire ants are attacking me.
Finn is in the corner of my room, a creepy grin placed on his clean shaven face. "You'll never run away. I'll always be here, dead or not."
"...Catalina! Baby-"
I feel two warm hands on my body when I'm finally shaken into reality. I could hear my screaming and I wondered how long Lorenzo was trying to wake me up.
Streams of hot tears flush down my face as I sob into Lorenzo's neck, my teeth biting onto my fist as an attempt to quiet myself down.
"You're okay, baby. I'm here, I'm here," Lorenzo coos, his legs lightly bouncing up and down and I find the action to be comforting.
I firmly clutch onto his shirt, allowing myself to sob into his protective hold.
"My little love," he rubs his hand up and down my back. I don't miss the way his voice sounds pained, almost as if seeing me like this was breaking him.
"Feel my hands on your back, baby. Focus on the way that makes you feel. You're in my arms, nobody can hurt you."
I listen to his comforting voice. He was trying to sound as gentle as possible but his touch was firm and it took the burning sensation that overtook my body away.
Lorenzo spends the next hour comforting me with reassuring words and when I attempt to thank him, I'm taken back by the difficulty that challenged me when I tried to speak.
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I avoid talking because I know I'm just going
to stutter again.
I'm such a freak.
My teeth sink into the broken flesh on my lips and Lorenzo brushes his thumb against my lip, releasing it from the hold I had it in.
He points to his ring on my thumb, reminding me that I didn't have to hurt myself.
"You don't want to talk, si?"
I nod.
What he didn't know was that I did want to talk. I wanted to tell him how much I adored his kind, soft eyes or how much I loved our squishy pandas babies or how much I wanted to cuddle with him.
But I couldn't.
I wouldn't.
Lorenzo pulls out one of the cute notebooks he bought me at the craft store along with a strawberry pen. An innocent smile decorates his face as he gently puts the objects in my hands.
"To make it easy for you," he explains.
Sniffling, I flip to the front page and write "Thank you shortcake <3" I draw a little cat on the bottom of the page and notice the way Lorenzo grazes his finger over my drawing.
"No need, angel."
"I'm sorry:(" I write for him.
He holds both of my hands, his face twisted into an expression of confusion and hurt. "For what baby? You have no reason to apologize. When you're ready to talk I'll be here."
Taking a deep breath, I squeeze his hands in mine and try to calm my nerves.
Finn is dead.
Those memories are nothing more than memories.
"I- I- wan-" I pause, my tears of frustration making another appearance. Be strong, Catalina. "Wa- want to c-cud- cuddle."
I want to cuddle.
Lorenzo wastes no time pulling our fluffy black comforter over us and scooping me into his arms. Neither of us talk but it's almost like I can hear him in my head telling me I'm okay.
His warm, comforting touch had me melting in his grasp and the way he brushed his fingers through my hair had my eyes fluttering.
I feel safe.
I wanted to thank him but Lorenzo was whispering "It's okay" over and over until my shaking had ceased all together.
"There's nothing to be afraid of, I pinky promise. I will die before I let another person hurt you." Lorenzo's voice sounds so serious that I truly believed what he was saying.
My body felt so small in his large one and it made me feel safer. It was like he could put me in his pocket and I would have no worries in the world.
"I understand how frustrated you might feel right
now but I want to reassure you that I don't find anything wrong with the way you speak. Your voice is adorable and just hearing it makes me feel week in my knees," he confesses while sounding nothing but serious.
I wonder what I've done to deserve an angel like him in my life.
Carefully, I snuggle into Lorenzo's warm body; he instinctively puts his chin on top of my head, holding me close to his chest. The sound of his steady heartbeat was effectively calming me down. I feel so close to him.
"Sweet baby," he tenderly kisses my head, "My little love."
I don't think I've done enough good to deserve this kind of love in my life.
Love.
My heart rate speeds up at the thought.
It has to be love. I know it is.
This warm, fuzzy feeling that was purring throughout my body couldn't be mistaken for something other than love.
My brain wasn't overwhelming me with a myriad of questions, I simply knew that I loved him.
With my entire heart and my entire being, this warm and fuzzy feeling that blooms in me is the love I hold for Lorenzo Gambino.
I'm brought out of my thoughts when I feel drool fall to my chin. I hadn't realized that I captured Lorenzo's black t-shirt in my mouth, holding it in between the grasp of my teeth.
He hadn't said anything until I embarrassingly took it out of my mouth and wiped my face against the dry cloth covering his man boobers.
"It doesn't bother me as long as you're comfortable, little love," Lorenzo coos, his voice sounding so delicate, almost as if I would shatter into a million pieces of his voice was too loud.
"P-pinky?"
"Pinky, darling." He gently keeps my pinky finger in between the grasp of his.
"Y-you m-ma-make me fee-feel warm a-and fuzzy."
I love you.
A series of deep chuckles meet my ears and I feel my tummy flip at the sound. "You make me feel warm and fuzzy too, darling." Lorenzo's eyes linger a little longer, almost as if he's trying to tell me something with his eyes.
Maybe he did know what I was trying to say.
I tug on the bottom of his shirt, looking up at him with my bottom lip slightly jutted out into a pout.
Lorenzo understands what I want and gently peels his shirt off, revealing his defined body to me. A satisfied hum comes out of me when I feel my body further relax against his warmth.
Lord.
He's no stranger to the gym, that's for sure.
I need him to pick me up and throw me through the window.
Meow.
"Do you know how beautiful you are?" His soft voice brings me out of my violently unholy thoughts.
"A l-lit-little," I tease.
"A little?" Lorenzo gasps with shock, making me giggle against his chest. "If only you could see what I see." He brushes my bangs to the side
and cups the side of my face with his hand, the tender touch of his thumb making me nuzzle into him.
My eyes have adjusted to the darkness as I scan over my sweethearts face. It feels like so much is being said despite the fact that neither one of us are speaking.
"C-can I k-ki-kiss you?"
"You don't have to ask, I belong to you."
With care, I shift up to reach his face and hold both of my hands against the sides of his face. I place a gentle kiss against his soft lips, giggling against them when he squishes my patootie with both of his hands.
A yawn escapes me and Lorenzo looks worried, "Oh no, I have a sleepy baby. C'mon, let's put you to bed."
My eyes begin to water. I don't want to sleep, I want more time with my sweetheart.
"N-nu uh," I try to decline the fact that I'm beyond exhausted.
With ease, Lorenzo lifts my body on top of his so that I'm laying on him, my face cradled into the crook of his neck. He kindly brings one hand to my head, massaging it, and brings his other hand on top of my back.
"B-b-blankie?"
Shortcake waste no time pulling the blanket on top of us, making me feel like the warmest and fuzziest girl ever.
"How about I tell you a story and then we can put my sleepy baby to bed, hm?"
I quickly nod against him, loving the idea of a story.
"Once upon a time, there was a little kitten. She had the cutest brown eyes and the most unique fur— mixes of black, orange, and white. One night, the little kitten had gotten lost in the woods. However, she was a fierce and brave girl, not allowing the forest to scare her. As the night grew darker, she felt like somebody was following her-"
"N-no!" I accidentally cut Lorenzo off, making him pat my patootie as he cooed at me that everything would be okay.
He went on, "The little kitten continued her adventure through the forest knowing that something was following her. Days went by yet she couldn't shake this feeling. She simply picked a spot in the forest that was near a lake and spent her days there. She didn't know how but every night and morning there was food placed near her area. Somebody was secretly feeding her yet she didn't know who.
The clever kitten decided to leave the food uneaten one night, hoping that whoever was thoughtfully preparing meals for her would show up. She stayed
up until her eyes burned, her body begging her to sleep. The sound of leaves crunching suddenly woke
her up, however. She spoke out, "hello?" She wanted to thank whoever it was that was feeding her, "Please come out, I won't hurt you."
"Of course you won't hurt me, you're just a little kitten," a voice spoke out in the midst of the darkness. The little kitten growled at this response, not liking the fact that she was always teased for her size. Sure, she was tiny, but she was incredibly strong and fierce.
When the owner of the voice came into view, the moonlight illuminating him, the little kitten gasped with shock. A baby wolf cub nearly ten times the size of her had gifted her with his presence. The little kitten was ecstatic when she saw him. She had never seen a wolf before!
Jumping around like the hyper kitten she was, she made her way towards him and started pawing at his large paws with her small ones. She was completely fascinated with the wolf cub in front of her.
"Have you been the one feeding me?" The little kitten asked, her body rolling around under him. Soft purrs radiated from her form when his nose nuzzled into her tummy.
The baby wolf growled in response, confirming her question with a "yes." The little kitten climbed his back and curled herself into his thick fur, her purrs sending warmth throughout the wolf cub.
She thanked him while baking biscuits on top of him.
Soon enough, her body fell asleep on top of him.
The baby wolf now felt responsible for this little kitten. He felt as though it was natural for him to protect her.
And so, the wolf laid under a large tree—careful as to not wake the purring kitten on his back—and moved her so that she was snuggled into his chest. The pair spent the rest of their lives on adventures, each taking care of each other.
The end, my love."
L O R E N Z O
Light breaths coming from the girl beneath me had my heart melting.
Catalina had fallen asleep and I couldn't help but admire her sleeping form.
I'm glad she enjoyed the story. She wouldn't stop squeezing my chest or face cheeks, explaining that it was the cuteness aggression and she couldn't help it. A simple story about a kitten and wolf had her giggling, gasping, and using me to release her cuteness aggression. She was adorable.
Her eyes were now closed, hiding away the beauty that her brown eyes were. I noticed the way her dark lashes fanned out, curling upwards towards the scar that went through her eyebrow.
Now that her bangs were out of the way, I was able to appreciate this scar that she hid.
It makes her look so strong.
She's genuinely the most stunning girl I have ever set my eyes on. She had bold features; strong eyebrows and dark hair compliment her yet her eyes carried a soft kindness that gave her the aura of an angel.
I cant help but fall in love with everything about her.
From her kindness to her sweet and cute nature to her selflessness. Her personality was so unique and refreshing that I wanted to fall to my knees and thank the very earth she came from.
My heart stuttered at my thoughts.
In love.
I've never had the urge to fall in love, especially when I've never had the time for anything except work.
Catalina deserved more than a monster like me. She deserved someone who could give her a safe and secure and normal life.
But alas, I knew it was too late to go back.
Nobody in this world would love Catalina the way I do and nobody would protect her the way I am willing to.
I'd die for her without a second thought.
My eyes lingered on the precious girl on top of me, nothing but adoration in my eyes for her.
"I love you," I lightly kiss her forehead.
Sleep well my darling.
♡
A U T H O R S N O T E
ೃ⁀➷ I love Catalina and Lorenzo. They make me
scream and stuff my face in my pillow and blush and squeal.
ೃ⁀➷ I got a comment on one of my chapters that just absolutely traumatized me and I feel the need to share it with you all because of how funny it is. I cant stop laughing.
ೃ⁀➷ I just wanted to say that if you struggle with stuttering there is nothing wrong with you at all. I myself have problems with stuttering but it's not as bad as it used to be :')) Sometimes I don't want to talk because I'm afraid I'll sound silly especially since my voice is very quiet already and I know what it's like to have to turn yourself into this quiet person when you have so much to say.
ೃ⁀➷ I hope anyone struggling with this feels seen and I hope I'm able to reassure you that you're perfect the way you are. Your voice deserves to be heard.
I love you dearly,
Red <3