June 2021
Eren felt weak and the blood rushed from his face. This can't be real. This can't be real. This is a joke. This is a prank.
"Mr. Jaeger? Are you there?"
"Okay who is this? Did Jean put you up to this? That asshole."
"I'm afraid I'm not joking, sir. If you are up to it, we need you to come to the station sometime today so we can tell you the details and tell you where to visit your sister. Your father is already here."
"I..."
Eren's hands were shaking and he couldn't speak. His mother wasn't dead, he had seen her yesterday morning perfectly fine before he had gone to pick up Armin. Mikasa wasn't in critical condition, she was too tough, she wouldn't let anyone touch her. She had texted Armin last night, she was fine.
"Sir?"
"I..."
Eren felt like he was going to throw up.
"I... will be there... later today."
"We really appreciate it, sir. I'm really sorry."
"G-goodbye."
Eren put his phone back on Armin's nightstand and sat up silently for a second. Despite the situation, he found that he couldn't cry. He just sat up looking at the wall, thinking, still trying to make himself believe that this wasn't real.
"Eren?"
Eren was brought back to the present moment. He let his eyes meet Armin's, who was still leaning over him and using one hand to rub his eyes. They stared at each other for a second, Armin's eyes spelling confusion, before Eren let out a shaky breath and pulled Armin into a tight hug. Armin squeaked from the pressure of the hug, but he wrapped his arms around Eren and hugged back.
"Is everything okay, Eren?"
Armin already knew the answer, Eren definitely wasn't okay. Eren's breathing was uneven, and a trembling hand was brought to Armin's head, tangling its fingers through his blonde hair.
"Armin... my... Mikasa... mom." Eren attempted to whisper into Armin's ear.
"What happened, Eren? Take your time." Armin rubbed a hand up and down Eren's back.
Eren was silent for probably about 5 minutes, clinging to Armin the entire time. He finally found the words he was trying to say, and he pulled away from Armin and looked into his eyes. Armin's eyes, so caring and sincere, comforted Eren and made it easier for him to say the words he never thought he'd say.
"I got a call... from an officer. Apparently last night my house was broken into. Mikasa was injured really badly and my mom..."
His words trailed off again. Armin tucked a strand of Eren's hair behind his ear and then let his hand rest there, his thumb ghosting Eren's jaw.
"Is dead."
Armin's heart dropped. Based on Eren's tone he had been expecting something like this, but to hear the words actually spoken. He wrapped his arms around Eren's neck and brought him close again. He remembered his parents' deaths. All he had wanted back then was for someone to hold him, so he let Eren have what he had wanted.
"Armin... I know she was like a mother to you as well... so this is pretty much your third time losing a parent, I'm sorry."
Armin hushed him, "This isn't about me, Eren. She was like a mother to me but she wasn't my mother. She was your mother, Eren. She is your mother. This is about you." Despite Armin's calm tone, his eyes were beginning to water. He lifted his head slightly so that Eren wouldn't feel his tears and worry about him instead of himself again. Eren sunk down into the bed a bit further.
"Armin... why am I not crying?"
"Some people react to these kinds of things differently, Eren. It's okay for you to not cry." He hoped Eren didn't hear the waver in his own voice.
Eren sat there for a moment, letting the situation soak in more.
"I have to go to the police station sometime today. And I have to visit Mikasa. And talk to my dad. And..." Eren blinked, "Will you come with me, Armin?"
Armin nodded on Eren's shoulder, "Of course, Eren."
The two of them sat like that for most of the morning, not even getting up to eat. They sat there in each other's company, comforting each other with hugs and the occasional few words. Eventually, Eren spoke up.
"I think I'm ready to go."
Armin pulled away from the position they had been in for hours now. He stood up and held out his hand, which Eren shakily accepted. Eren stood up and let go, his eyes averted to the floor, Armin waited for him to begin walking out before he followed. They climbed into Mikasa's car, which Eren felt weird driving today.
"Armin, could you... drive?"
"Of course, Eren."
They switched sides and Armin started the engine. He noticed Eren's hands trembling in his lap. He reached his own hand out and grabbed Eren's, giving a comforting squeeze before retreating. Eren stopped him and grabbed his hand again, holding on. Armin took a sharp breath and pulled out of his driveway.
------
Eren hadn't cried at all today, but for some reason when his dad confirmed the news with him in the police station, he was finally able to let it all out. He excused himself to his father to go outside to get some air. Armin, who had been sitting next to him, followed him out shortly after. What Armin saw upon stepping outside was enough to break his heart. Eren was sitting against the wall a few steps away from the door, his knees were pulled against his chest and his head was buried between them. His shoulders were shuddering and heaving with each sob that escaped his mouth. Armin had never seen his best friend like this before, and he never wanted to see him like this again.
"Eren?"
Eren didn't answer, his sobs ceased at hearing Armin. Armin took a few steps closer and crouched down in front of him, placing a hand on one of his trembling shoulders. Eren raised his head to look at him and Armin was met with swollen, tear-filled eyes. Armin's lip quivered at seeing the eyes that reminded him of his favorite place on Earth so miserable.
"It's okay, Eren. You can cry."
Eren looked at him for a moment before falling into his shoulder and letting out the most heart-shattering wail Armin had ever heard. Armin sat down and pulled Eren into his lap, gently rocking him and trying to stop his own tears from falling once again. Armin needed to do something, anything to make Eren feel better.
"Eren, can I tell you a story?"
Eren nodded into Armin's shoulder.
Armin thought for a second, "Well, a long time ago there was a girl, let's call her Christa. Christa loved her mother so much, just like you. She had never met her father before and had no siblings, so her mother was the only one in her life. Her mother worked at the market and every morning left Christa with a list of chores for her do while she was working. One of the chores Christa had to do one day was to fetch water from the well by their house to use for dinner that night. Christa reached the well and began to pull water from it, but then she heard a voice from inside call out to her.
'Help! Someone help me!'
Christa was shocked to say the least, what was someone doing in her well? Christa looked into the well to see if she could see anything, but then she was pulled down by some kind of force. She blacked out, and the next thing she remembered was her in a dream-like setting. A small boy looking to be about 7 or 8 stood in front of her, his eyes were all white and he had a blank expression on his face..."
"Scary," Eren murmured through tear-induced hiccups.
Armin nodded and continued, "Christa asked him where she was, who he was, and what he wanted. The same voice she heard in the well earlier spoke to her, ignoring her questions, 'Hello, Christa. I will grant you one wish, choose wisely.' Christa was confused, and she had many questions, but she went along with what the boy said, 'One wish?' The boy nodded. 'I want my mom to be happy forever and I never want her to experience pain ever.' The boy nodded again, and the next thing Christa remembered was waking up in her bed with a start. A knock sounded at her door. When she answered a tall man greeted her, dressed in a suit and tie with a top hat held to his chest. 'Who are you?' Christa had asked. The man responded by telling her that her mother had been killed in an accident at her work. Christa was so distraught, she cried the entire night, eventually crying herself to sleep. That night she had another dream, it looked the same as the last. The small boy stood in front of her again, 'Hello, Christa.' Christa was furious, 'I told you I wanted my mother to be happy forever, not dead!' The boy simply shook his head at her, 'Oh, Christa. I've granted your wish just as you wanted. Your mother was harassed at her job in the marketplace often, and with no desire to get a new job she would have to endure the pain forever. You wanted her to be happy, and now she is. You will see her again someday, but until that day she will be happy and carefree just as you requested.'
Christa was taken aback, 'But, it was against her will. Her death was against her will so how could she be happy? This is all my fault, I'm so selfish.' The boy looked at her dead-on with no emotion, 'Christa, all your mother wanted to do was make you happy, if she had to die to do that then she would.' Christa was getting angry again, 'But I'm not happy! My mother is dead!' The boy finally smiled a smile that showed no teeth, just a black emptiness, 'Your wish has been granted, your mother will be free of pain, which is inevitable in the world of the living, forever. She looks down on you now, and is guiding your every step. She isn't gone.'
Christa woke up again, vividly remembering being in her dream just a second earlier. She thought about the small boy's words for a long time that day, and she decided he was right. Her mother's body may be gone, but her mother's soul was still with her, and the most important thing was that she was relieved of her duties in the real world and would never feel pain again."
Armin finished his story and Eren pulled back to look at him, this time with a small smile on his face. He laughed, the sound making Armin's heart flutter.
"Thank you, Armin. Your stories always make me feel a little bit better. Although I'm not sure I would prefer being dead if you were still alive in the world, even if it meant I would be free from pain forever."
They stared into each other's eyes for a bit longer, which effectively made Armin's heart beat faster than the last statement had already. Eren spoke again.
"I'm guessing that story was meant to reflect my own situation?"
"If you want it to."
Eren smiled wider, "I think I do."
Armin hadn't noticed how close their faces were until now, and his cheeks were getting hot. His eyes darted to Eren's lips before he could stop himself, and he was praying that Eren didn't notice. Eren did. Eren swore his heart stopped for a moment at the action, but the opposite was true, it had started beating faster. Eren brought his face closer to Armin's, still staring directly into his eyes. Armin's stomach was fluttering and his eyes had started to close, but Eren simply put their foreheads together and sighed.
"I appreciate the story, Armin, it's made me think about my mom's death in a different light."
Armin swallowed, he could feel Eren's breath on his lips.
"But I'm still sad."
Armin nodded against Eren's forehead.
"And there's still Mikasa who... who is on the edge herself."
"Yeah..."
Eren paused, tears threatening to come out again at remembering Mikasa. He pulled away from Armin and sighed.
"Can I stay with you for a while, Armin? It's just I imagine my house has been made into a crime scene and I'm not allowed back for a while, I don't want to go back either."
Armin was disappointed that Eren had pulled away, but quickly shooed away his selfish thoughts.
"Of course, Eren. You're welcome to stay whenever you want."
Eren stood up from his spot on Armin's lap and started walking back into the station to talk to his dad. Eren had told Armin that he felt better, but Armin could tell he was still more than just sad. Armin was afraid of what seeing Mikasa would do to Eren.
------
Armin's fears came to life. Upon seeing Mikasa's still-unconscious, heavily damaged body, Eren had stopped speaking completely. He wouldn't even respond to Armin. When Armin finally got him home, Eren crawled into Armin's bed and laid there. Armin observed Eren for a second before crawling under the blankets beside him. He didn't touch Eren or even try to speak to him, he knew Eren wouldn't respond anyway. This is why when Eren addressed him, he was more than slightly shocked.
"Armin?"
"Yes?"
"I won't let them get away with this."
Armin faced Eren, who was looking straight up at the ceiling.
"They can't just kill my mother and nearly kill my sister and get away with it. I will find out who did it and make sure justice is served."
"Eren, you can't be serious! Are you saying you're going to hunt a murderer alone?"
"The police won't do anything, they never do. The killer always gets away and an innocent person is convicted in their place. I will make sure the right killer gets sentenced. And I won't be alone, Armin. I still have you. You're about all I have left."
Armin's heart stuttered.
"Eren."
Eren turned himself to meet Armin's gaze.
"I will be there next time, if there is a next time. I will be there to protect Mikasa, and I'll protect you too."
------
July 2021
Mikasa was recovering nicely, and Eren had never been happier in his life. He made sure to visit her every day, Armin always with him.
"Mikasa, I have something to ask you if you're up for it."
"Go ahead."
"Can you recall what happened that night? What the person looked like? You don't have to answer if thinking about it upsets you."
"What are you planning, Eren?"
Eren looked at Armin, pleading for him to explain to Mikasa for him. He knew what her reaction would be.
"Eren wants to hunt whoever did this to you down."
Mikasa turned her attention from Armin to Eren and glared at him.
"Absolutely not. Are you crazy?"
"Maybe a little."
"Not funny."
"Please, Mikasa."
"I am not helping you get yourself killed."
"Mikasa, I need to put whoever did this to justice. They still haven't found out who did it, they're completely dismissing the crime, like you and mom aren't important."
Tears started welling in Eren's eyes, Armin put a comforting hand on his back.
"Mikasa, please. I can't let them get away with this."
"No."
"Please!"
"We've already lost mom! I'm not losing you too!"
Mikasa's words stung Eren. How could she have so little faith in him?
"Eren, you are thinking from your heart, not your head. Do you think you stand a chance against him?"
"So it's a him."
"Eren! He was a grown man, and if he was able to hurt me he'll definitely be able to hurt you!"
"Sheesh. No offense taken."
"Be serious, Eren!"
"I am serious, Mikasa! I will find whoever did this."
Armin looked at Mikasa, and she could read his eyes: You can't stop him. He'll find a way whether you tell him or not. I've tried. He's set on it.
Mikasa sighed and closed her eyes.
"I'll tell you what he looked like, nothing else. If you die I am never forgiving you."
Eren beamed at her.
"Thank you so much, Mikasa! I won't disappoint you."
------
Eren and Armin were back at Armin's house, preparing to go to sleep. Eren had already changed and was in bed, Armin pulled a night shirt on and joined him. They both stared at the ceiling that was decorated in glow-in-the-dark stars.
"Blonde hair with a middle part, blue eyes, short beard, round glasses." Eren repeated the features Mikasa had described to him earlier.
"Kind of dumb for him to leave his face open like that, huh?"
Eren nodded.
Armin switched off the lamp beside him and inched closer to Eren, hooking both of his arms around Eren's right arm. He could no longer imagine going to sleep alone, someone being there--especially Eren--to cuddle with was so much better.
"Goodnight, Armin. Tomorrow I will start looking."
"Goodnight, Eren."
To be continued...