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NEW CHAPTER !
"Wearing pants now, I see" my cheeks turned tomato trying hard to ignore his comment. "Tch, I thought I would be seeing more" hours ago when I was talking to Kakashi he had been smiling a lot, even when he left he was in a happy spirit. It was a few minutes after his departure did I realize my pant-less self. Half of me was mortified while the other half tried justifying my fate. He was my husband after all so it did not matter.
"I simply forgot to wear them"
"Ah" he chuckled; "well it was an enjoyable view" he winked.
"We need to take you to the hospital; your right eye has been winking a lot"
"With one eye closed and the other visible, you really are confident that I am winking"
"Well, you are"
"I was blinking" his right eye closed again suspiciously fast and opened as I heard his chuckle.
"You are"
"Yes?" I looked at him with squinting eyes.
"Irritating"
"My, my. People usually call me charming"
"Well, they don't live with you"
"Hum"
He went inside our bedroom and I heard the shower going on. That was my que to set up plates. Today's menu was onigiri and yakitori. At first, I thought I would go to Ichiraku and buy dinner. Sensing how late Kakashi really was usually, I decided to cook dinner anyway. It helped me pass time quickly and kept my thoughts occupied. Thoughts about how to have someone to talk to other than my husband- he was not bad but it seemed so off with him. One minute he was talking to me nicely and then the next moment he stiffened, some days he was lively and making inappropriate jokes whereas the next few weeks he'd just shut off. I hardly knew him therefore, I did not know if he liked being comforted. Izumo could not come here and neither could I find him at a time when he was free. I really wanted to talk and find someone from my previous life. If Naruto knew me, spending time with him would eventually trigger some of my memories back. But he had no idea what happened to me. I could try visiting the academy school and find him out. Maybe I could stumble upon something that reminded me of my old life.
What would I find? Parents? Siblings? Or maybe I was just another orphan. If I had always lived here, why did I never have any friends other than Izumo? I was twenty years old. Was it really possible that I had no contact with the entire village? Why was Naruto the only one who came to talk? Then again, he had no clue what was wrong with me. I smiled gently remembering his tiny face and whiskered cheeks. He wanted to be the Hokage. Such high dreams for someone so small.
Dinner time was quiet once again. The sudden change in his demeanor had started to grow on me. I was not asking him too many questions and had stopped prying to see what was behind his mask. If he felt comfortable one day, then I would get to see his real face. Until then I was just going to accept his right eye and cheek. I looked up and saw the orange cover of Icha-Icha Tactics instead of his appearance. I could ask how his day went but this was Jonin tasks. I should not ask anything related to his shinobi life.
"You have been really quiet"
"I thought you were reading" I responded.
"I know I am the quiet one, but your silence is unnatural"
"Why?"
"I haven't heard you complain or ask me anything"
"I told you, I barely get any answers"
"Oh" this entire time, he had not taken the book down. He talked to me out of politeness and nothing else. I was his wife, in papers so it would had been cruel to not talk to me at all.
I finished dinner and took the plates for wash. How was it that I complimented him when he cooked but he never did it to me? Was I a bad cook? He did say thank you once in a while but sometimes, it helped encouraging your partner. However, I was happy that he did not complain.
I was also proud to have some information about this man.
Things he liked- sweets, dancing.
Things he disliked? His hobbies? Dreams? I lacked information for those. If someone asked him about me, I was confident that he would list down a few things he observed. Maybe he could write down a few pages. After all, he was a skilled shinobi. I would not be surprised if he had intel on me. I looked back at the spot where he was but it was empty. The chair was fixed, the table was spotless. When did he clean it? My eyes scurried to the living room and I saw him curling inside a blanket with the book in his hand. Tonight was far too tense and for some reason, he seemed more uncomfortable. The distance between us seemed too much and not being able to lighten the mood, I walked outside our house. Fresh air always did magic. The garden seemed too much of a work so I sat outside, watching the stars twinkle. One, two and three- there were so many but I could never count them all.
"The place were destinies are written"
"Soothing words" I looked behind and saw Kakashi watching the stars. His feet hunched up a little as he sat behind me. His hands resting on top of his knees. When did he follow me outside?
"I thought you were sleepy"
"Too many thoughts"
"One has to guess" I mused and rested my body against the soft grass. My eyes looking at the constellations. I felt the air warm around me, as Kakashi lied beside resting his head on his arm. For minutes, we were quietly looking at the stars. Our breathing synched and our bodies not too close but not yet far.
"Haven't asked me about the test"
"I did not want to ask unnecessary questions"
"What is necessary and unnecessary to you?"
"What are they to you?"
"Ho?" he turned his head towards me, "I will not know which is which unless you ask"
"You really have a way with words"
"Charming, right?"
"Irritating"
"Most women will disagree," he teased, "they say I am the charmer"
"Ask them to spend two months with you; they will get irritated as well"
"But I don't want to irritate the women in Konoha; I just want to irritate you"
"See this is what is irritating" I huffed.
"What is?"
"Sometimes you are friendly, then you are being flirty and the next moment you are robotic"
"Which one am I now?"
"A headache... sorry, I have been inside the house almost all day" he chuckled.
"I guess you are getting bored staying home"
"My mood is sour because of it"
"I know I might be rubbing it on you but I had a wonderful day, though"
"Failed another group?" I looked at him from the corner of my eyes.
"Nope. They passed" I pushed myself forward with the elbows. His face was relaxed and the mask was pasted against him like second skin. This man really was handsome; I could notice it finely from up close. That chiseled jawline, hardened chest and broad shoulders stirred a tingling sensation in me. How was he single? He should have had lines of women ready to be his girlfriend or just bed buddies. He should had had affairs all around and yet, here he was with me. He was tall as well, such a gorgeous physique. I teared my eyes away from his body and up at the sky once more. I could say, maybe, in some ways- however tiny- I found him admirably attractive.
"A sensei, huh?" I grinned. He responded with one and made himself comfortable. I laid back down again, giving him chance to lighten the mood.
"There is one who talks a lot, he is the clown"
"Every group needs one"
"They are usually the weakest ones, losers"
"Wha ~" he did not let me finish.
"He was also the one who did not like my hair" he touched the fluffiness and sighed, "said it was weird. I think, he is the weird one"
"Your hair is weird" he gasped, putting his hands on his heart and pretended to have a mini heart attack. I swatted his hands away, chuckling, "but that's the appeal. They defy gravity"
"You like it?"
"I do" he smiled. "Then?"
"Then I scared them with all my might"
"Really?"
"I think I am pretty scary"
"You really cannot be that scary Kakashi, I mean you are the man who eats cake before going to sleep and reads porn." I giggled, trying best to suppress my laughter.
"Not porn, art, passion and romance. Something people do not acknowledge"
"What about the rest of the Genins?"
"One of them fainted seeing my genjutsu."
"What is that?"
"Illusions, simple mind control but the last one, Uchiha- he almost got me. He actually made me stop reading Icha-Icha"
"So, you are saying a Genin was able to put up a good fight?" I teased.
"No, just made me stop reading the book which I found irritating" he emphasized that word. "At the end, the bratty one said I was somewhat cool."
"Hmm"
"Y/N?" his tone changed and I looked next to me. His body was turned towards me and the previous lighthearted mood altered to a serious one. "I am sorry. I know that being home alone for two months is painful, especially when I stay away most of the times. I know it is too much to ask, but please be patient. I am not accustomed to having someone close to me all the times. But, I am trying and I hope you respect me for that just the way, I respect you for accepting me as your husband and partner"
"I know and I am trying as well but, I feel like there are gaps and miscommunications. However, I do respect you" he watched me for a while, his black eye seeming to hide the words he actually wanted to say but sighing he looked at the stars.
"I meant it"
"What?"
"When I said you could leave..."
"Do you want me to?"
"Only if you feel trapped with me" I watched him intently. His chest rose and fell steadily but I could sense the shakiness in his eye. Almost remorseful? Is that why he felt uncomfortable around me? Did he think I wanted to leave? Was he insecure? Did he feel like both of us were trapped?
"I was destined to be yours Kakashi Hatake. I do not recall my previous life, but everything that happened led me to your doorstep."
"Destinies, huh?" he gave out a shaky laugh before submitting himself to complete silence. What did he think all the time? What had occupied his mind all day? I could only imagine but I was not close enough to ask about those. Not yet anyway. I smiled and look up at the tiny diamonds in the sky. Among the billions of stars, there were two that belonged to us; two stars that were weaving my tale with Kakashi.
Destiny. What a simple way to end our discussion. I was alone and I had been feeling lonely for quite a while now. I wanted to voice it out to him but how could I be so selfish when he was already regretting the way this marriage turned out? He wanted me to escape whereas I could not do that. I knew he was lonely as well but I just could not muster enough courage to be transparent. I kept quiet, trying to find ways to get rid of the boredom, the loneliness but I had no solutions. I wanted this marriage to work and it would take time.
A lot of time.