The letters ^
Cove's POV
As soon as school ended, I went straight to my car and drove in the direction of River's house. I can't wait to tell him, everything will go back to normal.
River's POV
It's been 4 f*cking days since I've last seen or talked to Cove. I don't think I can last a day longer, f*ck I need her.
She's doing crazy things to my mind. The other day I consider kidnapping her. Kidnapping. Of course that thought was quickly overruled, but the fact that it even crossed my mind is absolutely insane.
At first I tried to stay strong and not let my feelings take over, but it was inevitable. I'm going back to the old River who kills people for every minor inconvenience.
After I stopped going to school, I starting spending a lot of my time at the warehouse. Stabbing, burning, killing, you name it.
I keep trying to stop myself because I promised Cove that I only kill when it's necessary. This is not necessary.
But it's impossible, doing those things is the only other way I know how to cope. See Cove or kill. When the first option isn't available, I'm forced to go with the latter.
I started to lose hope of Cove ever talking to me again until last night. I was looking at some of the things Cove gave me when I remembered our long distance lamps.
We've only used them about twice before, so I thought there was no chance she'd respond. But she actually did! We kept going back and forth until she gave up.
That has to be the highlight of my week. Even if things don't work out, I'll forever cherish that moment.
Right now I'm holding the very last unread letter that Cove gave me on my birthday. It's a pink envelope with the words "read this if you miss me," written on the back.
Before the fight, I had only read 2 of them. The one for when I was mad and the one for when I was bored.
After the fight though, I read 2 a day. Even if the saying on the back didn't apply, I still read it. All 9 of the letters I've read so far are beautifully written. Cove is extremely talented with her words, just like she's talented with everything else.
I saved the letter that I'm currently holding for last. It took a lot of self control not go tare it open the second she left on Sunday, but somehow I waited. Now I finally get to read it.
Without waisting another second, I carefully opened the envelope and pulled the letter out. After smoothing down all the creases, I started to read.
Dear my adorable River,
I can imagine your face scrunching up in disgust as you read that. You look so cute with your nose scrunched and eyes slightly squinted, I had to! Even if I can't see your face reading this in real life, I still like to imagine it. You always tell me that I'm too cute for my own good, but it's really the other way around! I know you hate when I call you cute, but it's true.
Alright, back to the point. You're reading this because you miss me. There are a million possibilities as to why you might miss me, but sadly I'm not a time traveler so I don't know the exact one. Maybe we've gone a while without seeing each other, or maybe it's late at night and I fell asleep in the middle of a conversation on the phone. Or maybe I died. Just kidding, I'll never die. I could never leave you like that. You'd be all alone. Okay that's not helping at all, shall we move on? Eww, shall we. What is this, Britain in 1960? Gosh I really need to stop getting side tracked.
So you miss me huh? I hate the feeling of missing someone. I'm sure you do too, that's why you're reading this. To be honest I probably miss you just as much as you miss me right now. I hate being away from you, it makes me feel empty. I feel like part of me is gone and all I want to do is re-unite. But we can't always re-unite, that's why I prepared a list of some of my favorite memories with you. If we aren't currently together, why not remember the times we were? Check the second paper because I'm running out of space hun.
Yep, this is how all of the letters go. The first half always consists of Cove getting side tracked and calling me random names. Then she finally gets to the point, usually on a second page because she runs out of room with all the name calling and random comments. I love it though and wouldn't trade it for the world.
I pulled out the second paper and smiled at the small flower she drew at the top. It's a heart shaped rose with our initials in the middle, C & R.
Welcome back River! Did you enjoy my beautiful drawling at the top? It took me 10 minutes to decide which order to but our initials in, but at the end I decided C & R looked better. Don't you agree? Okay, without further ado, 2 of my favorite moments together.
2. Do you remember that time you took me out to lunch? It was a day or two after first met, you took me to Apple Bee's before dropping me off at home. You said you didn't want to leave me with an empty stomach. While we were there, you kept insisting that I eat more of my fries because I barely had anything to eat. Just a small burger and a handful of fries. Truth is, I felt nauseous. It was my first time ever going out with a guy. Even though it wasn't technically a date, I still considered it one. The whole time I was cracking awful jokes, but no matter how bad they were, you laughed at every single one of them. For the fist time ever, I felt on top of the world.
2. One time I was at your house and it was pretty cold, but you insisted that we hang out outside. I kept complaining about how cold I was and I was saying that my fingers where gonna fall off. My argument was, if my fingers froze off, how would we be able to hold hands? You laughed your butt off at that and agreed to let us go in the hot tub. After a few minutes, I jokingly complained that I was too hot. Instead of getting upset, you said "you're right, you're too hot to handle." Then I think you know what happened.
Yep I sure do. That was a very unforgettable moment.
Okay, well I hope you enjoyed those 2 moments. I'm running out of space so I can't write anymore, goodbye.
-Yours truly
Cove ❤️
Ps: I went all the way downstairs to get a red marker just so I could color in that heart.
How does she always manage to say the most adorable things? They make me fall harder for her, if that's even possible.
Suddenly, there was a knock on my door followed by, "River can I come in?" Why does this perfect moment have to be ruined?
"One sec." I quickly threw on a shirt before opening the door. There stood Azalea, of course, who else would it be?
"We're going to talk," she deadpanned. I didn't get the chance to respond before she walked right in and sat on my bed, stretching her feet out like she owns the place.
"Okay first off, shoes on the bed? Seriously?"
"Oh sorry." She slipped her shoes off and threw them to some random corner of my room.
"Better. What is it that you need?"
"Like I said, we're going to talk. Right here, right now," she demanded, patting the other side of the bed for me to sit.
I sighed and reluctantly sat down with my back against the headboard.
"Good, now tell me what's going on. How are are you feeling." Of course, I should've expected something like this.
"Fine."
"No River, tell me the truth. I know this isn't easy for you, there's no way you're fine. Talk to me."
I groaned and move to lay on my back. Maybe it's best if I get my feelings off my chest, it might help. As soon as I opened my mouth, words started to come out un-controllably.
"Az I can't do it, I need her. She is my everything, oh my God I can't go another day without her. Just when I thought something was finally going well in my life, it all came crumbling down. I just ask for one good thing, one single good thing. I don't care about anything else, I just need her. Even if the world burned down to pieces, as long as I had Cove, everything would be fine. She's the only thing that gives me a purpose."
I took a deep breath before continuing. This is just the start, that wasn't even a half of what I have to say. There's so much emotion built up in my chest that I don't think I'll ever stop.
"I just feel like I've been through so much sh*t in my life and I deserve something to take all the pain away. That something is Cove. Am I so f*cked up that I don't deserve the one thing that makes everything feel better? I know I don't deserve Cove, not at all, but why can't I be happy? Why can't something go my way for once?"
"I've done a lot of bad stuff and I'm a bad person, but I need her. It hurts me to know that all Cove wants in return of all her love and affection is for me to be a decent human being. She deserves to have whatever she wants, but I can't do that. This gang sh*t will never stop,
no matter how much she wants it too. Even I wanted it to stop, it still wouldn't. I was born and raised into this lifestyle and I can't do anything to stop it. This is what I do. Cove deserves so much better."
I finally stopped to let Azalea talk. I still have more to say ,but I'll give her the chance to give her input before I go on another rant.
"Hmm. Riv it sounds like you're in love. You want her to have what she deserves, even if what she deserves isn't you. I don't care if you deny it, I some know true love when I see it."
I smiled at the thought. I really do love Cove, there's so much to love about her. From her sweet personality, to her beautiful brown eyes, to her fear of storms. I love every single thing about her.
"You're right Az, I do love her. It took me a while to realize, but now that I think back, I've loved her since the day we met. The way she hugged onto my waist, even though we were strangers was possibly the best thing to ever happen to me. Since that day she's given me something to look forward every time I wake up. All I wanted and still want is spend time her. I want to be by her side for the rest of my life. If I could wish for one last thing, it would be to get the chance to show her how much I love her. That's all I want. I don't care if she never speaks to me again, I just need to show her my love. One last time."
And then there was a knock on the door. Who could that be? The possibility of it being Cove crossed my mind, making my lips un-consciously turn up in a smile.
But I quickly over-ruled the thought. Why am I getting my hopes up? She still needs time to make up her mind, it's only been 5 days. 5 days too long.
"It's probably just Andrew or something, I'll get it." I dismissively flicked my hand as got up and went downstairs.
Azalea just shrugged. When I got to the door, I threw it open without even bothering to look through the peephole.
At first I didn't see anything. Only when small arms wrapped around my stomach did I realize who it is.
"Cove!" I couldn't help but beam. She giggled and nuzzled her face in my chest. I took that as a sign to lift her up and wrap her legs around my waist, this is my favorite kind of hug.
I was deep in my thoughts and didn't notice the tears running down Cove's face until I felt something wet hit my skin, followed by a small sniffle.
"Cove hey, what's wrong baby? Are you hurt, did someone do something to you?" I immediately became concerned and pulled her face up to look in my eyes.
"No, it's not that. I'm not hurt, I just really really missed you. Let's never do that again."
"Fine with me."
She smiled as I gently brushed the tears off her cheeks with the pad of my thumb and kissed her cheek.
"There, no more crying baby. Let's go inside, okay? I'm sure Azalea will be very happy to see you."
Cove nodded in agreement and I set her down. Taking her hand, we went inside and walked up to my room.
As soon as Azalea saw us, she smiled brightly. "Hey Cove, I missed you."
Cove let go of my hand and ran to give her a hug. Az isn't much of a hugger, so it surprised me that she instantly hugged back.
"I'll let you two talk," she said after a moment and pulled away, quickly exiting the room.
I sighed and closed the door, then sat on my bed and patted the spot next to me. Déjà vu.
Cove bit her lip as she climbed on the bed and laid with her head on my lap. I smiled and gently started playing with her hair, running my fingers through it.
It feels so good to have her back in my arms again.
Cove's POV
I closed my eyes and sighed at the felling of River's hands in my hair. I really, really missed this.
"River," I called after several minutes of peaceful silence.
"Hmm?" He hummed, almost in-audibly.
"I'm so sorry. I never should've made you wait. It shouldn't have taken me so long to realize my feelings. I made us go no contact for 4 days! We could've just talked it out but I was being difficult."
"No, no, Cove don't think like that. None of this is your fault, okay?"
I shook my head at his words as tears resurfaced in my eyes. Why am I being so emotional today?
"Baby no, please don't cry. What can I do to make it better?" He asked frantically.
"No River, I'm okay really. This was all just really hard on me and I'm super tired. I haven't sleep well all week."
After I said that, I realized something. If I'm tired, then what is River? I don't imagine he's gotten more then 12 hours of sleep combined since Sunday.
I took the time to look at his face and instantly noticed huge purple bags under his eyes. His hair is messed up and his chin has a slight stubble on it.
"River! Oh no, oh no. I'm so sorry! Are you okay? Have you slept? Are you drinking water?" C'mon let's go get you something to eat."
Before he could answer any of my questions, I stood up and tried to pull him off the bed by his wrist.
"It's okay Cove, it's okay. I'm okay baby, see? Come here." He pulled me in his lap and gently began to rub my back.
"You don't have to worry about me, I'm okay. As long as you're here with me, I'll be fine," he continued to console me as large tears ran down my face.
It took almost 30 minutes of River consoling me for me to fully calm down. After all the anger, sadness, fear and betrayal I've felt these past couple days, I finally broke down. I'm just glad I was able to do it with River here to comfort me.
"You haven't cried once since it happened huh?" River practically read my mind. I shook my head, confirming his suspicions.
"No, you're the only person I really feel comfortable crying too. I couldn't cry without you there with me."
"Aww, well I'm glad you're finally able to get it all out. Do you feel better now baby?"
"Mhmm."
"Good. Are you ready to talk now then?"
"Yes, I'm ready as I'll ever be."
"Okay good. If you ever need to stop or take a break, tell me and we can have this conversation another time. For now though, how about you tell me what you're worried about with me being a gang leader? Then we can work something out to the best of our abilities, sound good?"
"Yes." I actually already prepared for this during one of my many sleepless nights. I came up with my top concerns with having a mafia boyfriend.
"Well my first concern is that I don't know how to fight. Your career is very dangerous, and from what I've heard, you have a lot of enemies. Once they find out about me, won't I be a huge target? How will I be able to protect myself?"
River thought for a few moments before responding.
"Baby I will always be there to protect you. You always have my protection whether I'm physically there with you or not. If I were even the slightest bit worried about you being in danger when we first met, trust me, I would've never brought you into my life. I would've watched you from afar until I felt it was safe enough for you."
"Like a stalker?"
"Yes like a stalker, your stalker. Only for you I would do such crazy things."
I giggled to myself at the thought of River hiding in a bush, watching me through plastic pink binoculars. I had a pair of those when I was little, they didn't work very well.
After tickling my sides to make me laugh even harder, River continued.
"Of course you will always have a target on your back, that's just part of me being in a mafia. But, I guarantee that no one will ever even come close to hurting you. They're all scared of my family baby. Even the top second most dangerous mafia in Italy works with my Dad, solely because they're scared of him. Mafia's either work with him, or against him. Working against my Dad is a death wish on it's own. The only people crazy enough to try and go against him are powerless little mafias who can be completely wiped out in the blink of an eye."
"I know it's hard for you to understand just how powerful my Dad's mafia is because you don't know anything about that kind of stuff. It will take lots of time for me to explain everything to you, that's for another day. But right now I'm going to promise you something huge. If I ever feel that you are in any kind of danger, no matter how big or small, I will send you and your family to a safe house in Brazil. At there safe house there's hundreds upon hundreds of heavily trained men guarding the entire area. No one, except for people I trust with our lives, knows about that house."
"That's just the beginning of all the safety pro cautions I can and will take to protect you. We have treaties, we work with the police, we run the entire country of Italy and so much more. We even have connections with the national government baby. You will never, ever get hurt Cove, okay?"
"Okay," I agreed.
"Do you trust me baby?"
I didn't even have to think of my response, it came out of my mouth without a seconds hesitation.
"Always."
"Good. Then you trust that I will protect you with my heart and soul. I will protect you with my life, and so will many other people you don't even know."
I simply nodded. This is a lot to process and it will take time.
"Okay good. Now, do you have any other concerns or questions?"
"Well..." I trailed off, not knowing if I should even say it. It's kind of stupid.
"Any concern of yours is valid baby. I want to make you feel better about all of this, but for me to do that, you have to tell me what's bothering you. Do you think you can do that for me?"
I nodded my head and looked down. Here goes nothing.
"Do you ever think that you might want someone more like you? Someone who's already familiar with your lifestyle and was raised just like you were? I know nothing about that kind of stuff, nor do I want to. I'm nothing like you River, we're complete and total opposites."
I took a deep breath and waited for him to reply. Oh no, what if he thinks I'm right! Is he going to realize that he should find someone better and more like him?
A tense silence filled the room and I bit my lip, nervously fiddling with my fingers. Can't he just say something already? This silence is killing me.
"Baby, listen to me and listen clearly because I never want to hear you doubt yourself again. I will never in a million years even think about finding someone else. You are the only person I love Cove, that will never, ever change. The fact that we're polar opposites only makes me want you more. The saying opposites attract is very true. You are the most kind, beautiful, and pure soul to ever exist. I love you to bits and pieces."
I gasped. "You love me?"
"Of course. Baby I love you more then humanly possible."
3737 words
Hey guys! I'm sorry if this is out late for any of you. I usually update around 2-6 pm PST, but I had a appointment so I wasn't able to get the chapter out until 11 PM. It's still Tuesday for me right now, but it might be a lot later for someone of you guys. Sorry about that.
Anyways, love you and have a great week. <3