Jimin hated it.
Fucking hated Taehyung.
Hated Namjoon.
Hated anyone who let that shit happen to him and Jungkook.
He hadn't even known Namjoon stood there, let alone Yoongi, to watch Taehyung strangle and taunt him with what Jimin went to do out of sympathy.
Nobody fucking has sympathy.
Nobody fucking cared.
And Jungkook was now laying in bed.
Jimin suggested that.
Taehyung had already spent hours draining the blood and cleaning the tiles of the bathroom.
Jimin should have resented Taehyung before.
Should have feared him, he didn't.
Because Taehyung never hurt him prior to this.
But in fairness to Taehyung, it wasn't 'Taehyung' who did the harm.
It was the sadistic altercation that Jimin had forgotten about.
The Mad Hatter.
Because Taehyung was the one who never exceeded past a warning.
He would just apprise Jimin of any wrongdoings.
And he usually stuck to just that. Nothing immensely harmful.
Something as harmless as his hand warily around Jimin's throat.
But Taehyung never held hard and long enough for Jimin to scramble between his livelihood.
And now Jimin found himself unsafe.
But he had nowhere else to go.
So he could not go somewhere safer.
Not that anyone would want him.
He groaned, trembling as he stood beside the shower.
Jungkook was left with shedding blood the other day in that tub.
Jimin, of all places, did not want to be here.
But Jimin needed a wash.
Namjoon was sure to notify him of that.
Jimin locked the bathroom door, shoving open the curtains to check for something behind it.
It was stainless.
Nothing was tinted with red.
Taehyung seemed too good with the cleanup.
Jimin shuffled back. He needed to clear away this occurring terror.
He preferred not to be afraid of Taehyung.
The mental abuse was better.
Jimin stripped, turning the water on.
It was warm, alleviating.
He checked again to ensure that the door was locked.
It was.
He huddled himself into the shower after pulling the handle to shift the water, throwing the shower curtain closed.
He sighed, tucking away within the water.
It was so fucking nice.
Much nicer than whatever the fuck was going on outside of the bathroom.
The repetitive glaze of the warm water had always been one of Jimin's healthy coping mechanisms.
He found it so giving and easy to take his hands through his hair, massaging around to ease at his scalp.
But the water started to get heavy.
And it became less of a mechanism.
Jimin began to fret over why it had gotten so weighted.
He continued to feel through his hair, brushing it back to the water.
Why the fuck was the water so thick!?
His eyes fucking burned.
Jimin winced, taking his hands from hair.
He wiped his eyes before looking down at his hands, appalled.
His hands unveiled a profane amount of red.
He began to convulse, turning his head whenever he stepped away from the 'water.'
Jimin's hands aimlessly shook whenever he watched the liquid seep through the shower head.
He looked back down to the bottom of the tub, the blood spreading around and down the drain.
He continued to tremble, pulling open the shower curtains to find himself looking at the mirror.
His body was covered, entirely.
With blood.
Taehyung didn't drain the blood.
Jimin didn't know what he did.
All he knew, was that he was bathing in someone's fucking gore.
Jungkook's.
xxx
"You're fucking horrendous Taehyung!" Jimin threw a tea cup across the room.
The tea cup shattered, teetering its way across the floor.
"Please, I would rather not be notified of the things I already know of." Taehyung shrugged, not much bothered with the yelling.
He would have preferred for Jimin to fucking leave his porcelain dishes alone though.
"You had the fucking heart to have me bathe in his gore!? After strangling me!? Have you no manners or care at fucking all!?" Jimin hauled himself from the doorway, waving around to try to poorly gain attention from Taehyung.
Taehyung did not care. At all.
So what if Jimin bathed in blood? It didn't hurt anyone.
"I lost my heart once, I can tell the difference. So to answer that, I do have the heart. It's why I did it. And I have plenty of manners, it just depends on my choosing." Taehyung kept stirring carelessly at the noodles boiling in the pot.
He did not seemed irked at all. No effort.
It pissed Jimin off.
"So you admit it was you." Jimin stood away, slouching.
Taehyung looked almost virtuous whenever he responded.
"Well yes, I do." He was smug and oddly prideful.
It was nothing to be vain with. It was horrid and sick.
"And you feel no regret? No apology?" Jimin would not let it go. It was enough for Taehyung to not care, but he could at least fucking pretend.
"Mmm. No. I do not feel bad. Some people deserve the horrors." It was awfully honest, and Jimin was not willing enough to listen to that.
Because he thought it was bullshit. He already deals with constant torment, what the fuck else did he deserve?
"And what did I do that was so fucking bad!? I try to do whatever you ask. I exercise myself to remember, I remembered Jungkook's name for fucks sake and that is what I get!?" And it was humiliating. Jimin was a slave to a horrifying routine in which he did not know the meaning of.
Any time he did as he was told or actually fucking remembered, nothing but damnation would honor him.
So what was the fucking point!?
"Well that is what you need to figure out, Jimin. But you failed to think with detail as to who the White Rabbit is." Taehyung scraped the pot.
It was distracting enough for Jimin to fumble with his response.
"Y-You want me to remember after what you did!?" And this was fair.
To Jimin, who did not know the reason behind anything at all.
"You want me to be kind after what you did?" Taehyung stood, hovering over Jimin.
Jimin sunk down, shriveling away.
"What did I do." Jimin was quiet, almost solemn.
It hurt, the blame he was taking.
The blame he always took.
The blame for Jungkook tearing out his eye. He never told him to do that.
The blame for Jungkook being sent to 'Wonderland.' He did that because he was told to.
Every time he did what he was fucking told, it always came back to bite him in the ass.
"You need to figure that out. I just fucking said that." Taehyung was getting irritable.
His taunting was diminishing, and Jimin was plucky enough to retort.
"Fucking answer me." Jimin shoved Taehyung.
Taehyung looked down at his chest, eerily looking back up to Jimin.
His jaw pulsated, his teeth grinding whenever he answered.
"Figure it out." Taehyung bit down, his tone ominous and timidly warning Jimin of his intentions.
"Answer. Me." Jimin stepped close to where Taehyung was shoved to, squinting whenever he was close enough to meet at his face.
"Figure it the fuck out." Taehyung bent down to get closer, grumbling with his intolerance.
If Jimin was smart, he would let it go and walk away.
But he wasn't, and he began to hate the constant dominance Taehyung always had over him.
So Jimin grabbed Taehyung's neck.
"Answer me Taehyung."
Taehyung stood back, stunned by Jimin's revolting.
He did not want to have to respond.
But Jimin was stuck on getting his way.
Taehyung was not going to authorize that.
At fucking all.
He glared down at Jimin, hoping that was enough for the smaller to let go.
And it almost was, but Jimin was damned and did not need Taehyung's menacing look to derail him from pursuing his control.
But Jimin made the mistake of arguing and getting valiant with the both of them being close to the knife rack.
Taehyung grabbed the knife, taking it across the back of Jimin's hand.
Jimin flinched, releasing Taehyung.
He held at his bleeding hand, tucking himself back away.
Taehyung was strangely fast with the blade, Jimin hardly finding the time to scramble around before Taehyung took Jimin's arm and pinned it to the counter.
Jimin whined, unable to hold at his gushing hand from Taehyung gripping harshly to keep his arm down, wrist facing up.
Taehyung was not all that sadistic.
But the hatter was, and the hatter had plucked through multiple options with how to penalize Jimin.
Instead of having Jimin remember something for them by Taehyung harming himself, he would have Jimin remember for himself.
By harming him.
"Then you'll fucking remember this." And Taehyung took the blade back over Jimin's healed scars from self-harm.
Jimin wailed, mortified by the reoccurring thought of him with a metal scrap to his wrists in the asylum.
Jimin had grown to forget the masochistic need to take the metal along his arms and thighs.
He did not want to remember and fall back into that harrowing need to do so again.
Taehyung really fucked up.
He was unbelievably repulsive, it made Jimin sick.
The thought that Taehyung even had the want to do this to him was even worse.
Jimin would have preferred Taehyung to stab through his chest.
Because he hated nothing more than the reminder of how much he hates himself.
Taehyung now had Jimin by his hair, the knife at his neck.
"Don't you ever put your fucking hands on me, Park Jimin."
Jimin's face throbbed from his eyes being violently shut.
He did not want to find the appeal of the blood slipping through his skin again, so he did not look.
It wasn't just the injury that perturbed him.
How the fuck did Taehyung know his full name.
"Do you understand!?" Taehyung dwelled with Jimin's blood seeping through his fingers whenever he grabbed onto the reopened cuts.
Jimin's mouth hung, overwhelmed by the feeling in his arm, and Taehyung's finding of his full name.
"Answer me." Taehyung reflected Jimin's words onto him.
Now Jimin was supposed to answer.
The difference was, was that Jimin actually had to.
And again, Jimin was submissive and lost again.
"Yes. I'm sorry." Jimin gasped, the pull at his hair unnecessarily harsh.
Taehyung hummed.
"Taehyung is not my name."
He let go, dropping the knife.
Jimin huffed from the unhanding of his wound, falling down to the floor.
Taehyung watched Jimin, stepping away into the other room.
Jimin was so pissed off.
He could never win. He was so tired of losing.
So tired.
He was tired of being a meek psychopath with the saddened need to behave.
Just to try not to get hurt.
Even then, he would still be diminished.
"Fuck you Taehyung." Jimin's thought of remorse right after he spoke was obvious.
All he needed was for Taehyung to turn back around and pace back towards him before Jimin spun away, the blood spilling from
his hand staining the front door knob whenever he threw it open.
He was too fucking scared.
It was shameful.
But he was too afraid of what Taehyung would do.
If he had already gone this far.
He needed to mind his words more. He never fucking did that.
And the look on Taehyung's face,
Whatever this Taehyung was, he would kill him.
So Jimin ran.
Away.
He looked back, finding Taehyung standing terrifyingly down the street, oppressing Jimin's sense of authority.
He wasn't chasing after him.
And Jimin was too far away to determine his expression.
And what his intentions were.
Jimin was going to continue to run, he didn't know where.
The park by the asylum.
It was a torturous idea, but it was his only alternative.
So he ran there, the blood patterning the cement he stumbled on.
It wasn't far, but far enough for Jimin to feel safe and stop there.
He choked, bending over.
The searing heat presented through his lack of fitness was embarrassing, but it left Jimin in a secure place.
He sat on a bench, his hand and arm tightly wrapped into his shirt.
He shuddered, flinching at the stinging.
He wasn't going to continue to cry.
People would see him now.
Jimin looked up, finding the park to be vacant anyhow.
It was relaxing, but he was afraid of being recognized in case anyone chose to show up.
The doctors often came here.
Who knows what for.
One doctor brought him here. Once.
Jimin loved the scenery. At the time, it was the first time he had gotten out of the asylum in five years.
"This is the real world Jimin. The grass is not as spirited, and the sky is not as alleviating as what you say your Wonderland is."
Well that doesn't sound like Wonderland at all.
Jungkook had described it as the complete opposite.
But this spot. Was such a good space to think.
"But the world use to be like my Wonderland."
"The world has changed, Jimin." The doctor was snide.
"I don't like the world." Jimin hated the things within it.
And the world didn't like him.
So it was fair.
"You will learn to. Forget it. Forget your Wonderland. It is not real. The people are not real." This assumption might have been the doctors wrongdoing.
"I swear they are, I see them, always. I can shake their hands-" Jimin stumbled around with his explanation.
Not that the doctor cared to listen.
"Do rabbits talk in the real world?"
Jimin looked over to his doctor.
With the hate he held within his company.
"...No, but-!"
"It is not real, forget it."
Jimin paused.
The nostalgia within the park had allowed him to think.
Remember.
Rabbits did talk.
"You really do not understand how closely tied we are, do you?" Jimin spun around, falling whenever he found Taehyung leaning on the bench behind him.
That was petrifying, the thought that Jimin had not seen Taehyung follow him.
Yet he knew where he was.
"How the fuck did you find me!?" He dragged himself with his fixed arm, kicking his legs to try to remain away from Taehyung.
"Well I just said that you don't realize ho-"
"How did you find me Taehyung." Jimin dusted with his harmed hand, crawling away from the other.
"I just knew. I don't know how to describe it. You're easy to find." Taehyung shoved his hands behind him, kicking the legs of the bench.
He wasn't being very clear, and Jimin had expected for him to have already had his neck beneath Taehyung's hand.
"How-"
Taehyung frowned.
Why was Jimin backing away?
"I was worried-"
"Worried!? You're joking-" Jimin scoffed.
This was not funny.
Taehyung had provided Jimin with a resentful memory and the returning want to harm himself.
Worried. Bullshit.
"What?" Taehyung sat back at the bench, cocking his head with Jimin still laid on the ground.
Jimin stopped.
Taehyung really was fucking mad.
How was he going to do that shit and act unaware!?
"Taehyung it's not funny. I know I am forgetful, but I do not forget that fucking easily."
"Forget what!?" Taehyung was yelling now, truly stunned by some accusation.
He looked disappointed, afraid.
Taehyung had no signs that kept him from oblivion.
His face was sunken and his skin was pale.
He paid no mind to Jimin's tucked away arm.
"Are y- Are you serious?" Jimin ushered further away.
Taehyung gestured his head around.
"Jimin, I don't understand." Taehyung was not lying.
Though Jimin did not convince himself of that,
He felt bad.
He raised his arm, the blood slowly sinking out after releasing it from his shirt.
Taehyung gawked, dazed by the injury.
"Did you cut yourself!?" He hurried up to grab onto Jimin's arm, taking off his sweatshirt to tie it tightly around his arm.
Jimin watched, astounded.
This was so fucking strange.
Taehyung had no fucking idea.
Or he was just really good at playing the victim.
Taehyung finished, stepping back away.
He cocked his head at Jimin's fallen face.
"What?" Taehyung dragged the blood onto his shirt, patting Jimin's shoulders.
Taehyung really did not know.
"Taehyung, you did this." Jimin finally stood, stepping back away.
Taehyung squinted, motioning around with his ignorance.
"Me!? No no, I only do that to myself." Taehyung found it sorely immature and distressing how Jimin went to place the blame.
The blame that was very much Taehyung's.
"Taehyung, yes, you did." Jimin nodded, grabbing back onto the sweatshirt around his cuts.
"I don't remember." Taehyung shrugged.
Either he was nonchalant, or unwilling to understand what was being said.
Like Jimin.
Taehyung didn't remember.
This was his forgetfulness.
His fuck up.
"Taehyung, I promise you. This is from you."
"When?" Taehyung's arms were crossed and his questions did not seem to be asked through curiosity.
He wanted to disprove Jimin.
"Like ten minutes ago Taehyung. I'm not that insane." Jimin sat up now, Taehyung comfortably rocking back and forth on the bench.
"I didn't say you were. I did not do that. I do not remember." Taehyung shrugged again.
"Then who the fuck did?" Jimin scowled at Taehyung's annoying ass shrugs.
"I'm not as sadistic as I am masochistic when I am like this." Taehyung nodded, stupidly agreeing with himself.
It seemed unnecessary for Taehyung to have to explain himself.
But that had been his fault for not believing Jimin in the first place.
"Like what?" Jimin was still hurt by the disregard.
This was Taehyung's doing, and he is trying to disown that.
"I don't know exactly. Don't tell me I am being imprecise. I truly do not know. You know me more than I do myself, and vice versa." Taehyung was almost rambling now, and Jimin wanted nothing more than for Taehyung to take account for his barbarous mannerisms.
"It was you who cut me Taehyung."
"Not me."
"Okay then who!?"
"I just answered that."
Jimin sighed.
Taehyung was doing this again. Rushing through a conversation with indiscernable sentences.
But that started to matter less.
Because the environment around Jimin really helped him think.
And answer his own questions.
"Was it the Hatter Taehyung?"
Taehyung's face leveled.
It wasn't that he was upset that Jimin said the name.
He had just hated that Jimin said it without some sort of warning.
"The Ha- I wouldn't know. I haven't really spoken of him a lot. Not unless I need to. I don't understand him entirely." It was almost an excuse to Jimin.
But Taehyung hardly knew anything about himself, let alone his personas.
"Taehyung, you struggle with your personalities." Jimin did not need to point it out. It was belittling.
"I know that."
Jimin looked down.
He groaned, looking back up to frown at Taehyung.
Who looked back at him, guilty.
"Which makes you mad. Like the Hatter."
"Yes." Taehyung looked down, abashed.
"So was it the Hatter then?"
"...Yes."
A clear answer.