What A Joke [SLOW UPDATES]

By Hutchinson1K

133K 5K 6.3K

[ AS IT SAYS, SLOW UPDATES NOT NO UPDATES. ] This is fan fiction of My Hero Academia. I adopted this amazing... More

Oh Joy~
The Heck?!
That was to be Expected
IDK what's up with these titles
Eh...
Izuku vs Pen
OP Protagonist
Drug the mother
Izuku's plans to dominate the world
Meet class 1-A
Gun safety is for the weak
No, just stop
Creative title name loading
Todoroki's mom was just trying to boil the Endeavor out of him
The Sports Festival is just glorified olympics for violent-prone teenagers
Toaster x Bathtub
Pyschopathic tendencies are ethical only for murder
Sir, This is a Wendy's Drive-Thru
Strip money doesn't have to be made at the club
Midnight's Bottom Line
Bing Bong Bet
Gladiator Type of Beat
Its Your Fairy Godmother!
Christler Special
How to Collect Pokéhoes
Sugar, Spice, and Everything Not Kid Friendly
Jojo's Bizzare Battles
And He's Just a Tape Dispenser!
Flying Sausages are Warning Signs for Red Flags
But He Likes Them Toxic . . .

How funny-

11.9K 262 417
By Hutchinson1K

You know? It is easy to make Izuku laugh. Just use some dark humor and you're on his good side indefinitely. But Izuku had never laughed as hard as he did the day he died . . .

This is when you are supposed to stop reading because you learn that your innocent, sweet protagonist is now a psychopath. Or you could keep reading if you're an angst fan, I don't blame you for reading that sorta crap. I have been there too.

I mean *cough cough* narrator stuff or whatever. Ummmmmmm, onto the story.

No one can blame Izuku for jumping. I mean he has always been alone and depressed. It is only natural for a quirkless person though. When you're born quirkless, it's like the world suddenly despises you and now you're vermin to society. For Izuku, his friends immediately turned their backs on him and even resorted to teasing and mentally bullying the young boy. Even his best friend, Katsuki Bakugo—who had basically been joined by the hip with Izuku from the moment they were born—harassed the poor child.

Thankfully no one ever laid a hand on the greenette. Surprised? Well it is because of his looks. Yes, our depressed protagonist happens to be a lean, average height, well toned, tan teenager. He has unruly hair that sweeps to the side and an undercut in the back. His hair is a gorgeous emerald cloud of soft, poofy hair. And his sharp eyes are a toxic lime green surrounded by dark, long eyelashes. Then, of course, there are his signature freckles that layer his pink cheeks.

Yep, Izuku is hot. It's not like he shows it though. Everyone around him has either ignored him or teased him, so he has never once had anyone to tell him he looks good. That began to make him wonder if he was ugly, fat, hideous or all of the above. He started covering himself with hoods, baggy clothes and even makeup to hide his freckles. He never makes eye contact with people and has learned to only speak when spoken to.

Now throughout this, you have probably been wondering where our sweet mother Inko is. Well, she is still kind and gentle, but she—like the rest of society—has her flaws. When Izuku found out he was quirkless, he dwelled in self pity and hatred. Inko didn't know what to do. She couldn't give her son the false hope he wanted. So, she left him alone, thinking maybe he'll come to terms with his quirklesness. How wrong she was. Through this time, they grew apart, never speaking except for the occasional greeting or goodbye. It didn't help that they also had completely different schedules, due mostly to the fact that Inko worked night shifts in the hospital.

With no mother and no friends, Izuku was all alone.

Back to the main story line. @( •-• )@

It was a normal day for Izuku; get up, go to school (don't eat because you're fat), take others' advice so you know what to change, learn nothing, eat something small alone, learn nothing again, get yelled at by Bakugo . . . Yup, a normal day. In the last period, the teacher came in as per normal and threw the papers of who knows what into the air.

"We were going to talk about future careers and such . . . but who am I kidding!? Y'all want to be heroes anyways." And with that statement the chaos of prideful teenagers began. All the students immediately began showing off their quirks and yelling at where they wanted to go or who they wanted to work for. A normal day.

And then, UA was brought up. Bakugo was obviously going for it. Why wouldn't he? With a powerful quirk and a great mind there is no way he can't make it. Izuku, with a mind of self doubt, didn't even think about going to UA. He's not stupid, even saying he wanted to go to UA would be social suicide. Well, I guess it's not like he has even had a social life that could be in danger—but that is not the point. UA is out of his league. Instead, he chose a random, simple school anyone could get into.

The rest of the period was filled with simple conversation about everyone's futures. No one paid attention to the greenette in the back, who was scribbling in a notebook. There was nothing interesting about the notebook. It has a blank, black cover and a decent amount of pages. Inside was almost every page filled to the brim of random things. Izuku uses this notebook to write whatever is on his mind—whether it be the newest hero and their quirk, or how he is feeling at the moment. He has dozens and dozens of these notebooks, and in a way, they are probably the only thing keeping him from going insane.

Not too long later, the last bell rang and all the students were dismissed. Izuku didn't make a move to stand up though. It's not like he is in a rush and he wanted to finish his writing on the new hero Mount Lady. If he knew that Bakugo and his goons were going to bother him though, he would have left sooner.

The blonde boy strutted towards the desk where the other was still sitting. "Tch, what's this? Your diary?!" Bakugo spat while snatching the notebook from the other's hands. The blonde's goons stayed in the back, cackling like the idiots they are.

Izuku stayed quiet though, he knew better than to speak up. Bakugo 'tched' again while skimming through the greenette's book. Once he was done, he slammed the book shut and used his explosion quirk to ignite the book. With a swift movement, the burnt book was out the window and in the Koi pond outside.

"What school are you going to Deku?" The blonde asked surprisingly, before going back to his rude self. "You know what, it doesn't even matter. No school is going to want a quirkless idiot like you." And with that, Bakugo and his friends strutted out of the room—laughing. Bakugo and one of his sidekicks disappeared around the corner, leaving Izuku alone with the blonde's other friend.

"Too bad." The boy spoke after a moment. "Such good looks went to waste." Izuku was confused, he had no clue what the boy was talking about.

"If you weren't such a loser I could've had some real fun with you." He paused, looking the greenette up and down before continuing with a sigh. "If you really want a quirk, take a swan dive off the roof and pray for a quirk in your next life." And with that, he turned to catch up with Bakugo and the other side character.

'Did he just . . . tell me to kill myself?' Izuku was bewildered. 'Am I that useless?' His body moved on its own. Getting up, walking out the door and through the almost empty school. He didn't even bother getting his book. Not like it had a use. It was only meant to help him get his thoughts out. Through the process of walking home, his thoughts revolved around what the kid had said. And sadly enough, the boy couldn't help but agree.

It wasn't until he was suffocating in a slimy goop that he snapped out of his thoughts. "Haha, what a cute boy. You will be the perfect meat shield." The slime laughed while shoveling himself into Izuku's mouth and down his throat. "Hold still and it will be over faster."

Black dots filled Izuku's vision and his arms and legs began to drop with exhaustion. And then Izuku fell unconscious.

When he woke up again, he was most definitely not expecting the Symbol of Peace smacking him gently on the face.

"Haha, welcome back to the living young man!" The hero's voice was loud and rattling, not helping his forming headache at all.

"A-All Might?!" Izuku jumped in his feet and began searching for a pen and a notebook, but from upon looking, he found his backpack already signed. Izuku gawked at the signature from his idol, just because he himself doesn't believe that he can be a hero doesn't mean he stopped idolizing over them.

"Well, I best be off, young one." The hero booms. "I need to get this villain to the police station." And with that, the hero jumped into the air—but not before our cute protagonist grabbed onto the hero's leg.

"What are you doing young boy?! Let go!"

"If I let go now, I'll die!" 'Not that that would be a bad thing.' Izuku yelled but left the last part unsaid.

"Oh I suppose that is true." The hero said before changing his course to land on a roof. "There, now I really should be going."

"Wait, Mr All Might, I have a question." Izuku paused, trying to find his wording. "Do you think a quirkless person can be a hero?!" He yelled it with desperation. He didn't know why he asked it, he can't be a hero. So why bother? Did he still have hope?

"No," All Might started after a long pause. "I am sorry, but the world is too dangerous. There are other professions; such as the medical field or the police force, but the hero industry for a quirkless person is dangerous for them and others around them. I am sorry." And with that, he jumped into flight, leaving Izuku alone.

Izuku wasn't surprised at all. He had gotten that answer his entire life, so he was expecting it again. Plus, that was the number one hero, he has seen shit Izuku can only dream of seeing. If anyone knew how dangerous hero work is, it would be him. But still, Izuku couldn't help but feel down. Absolutely no one believed in him.

He snapped out of his thoughts and looked around at his surroundings. He was still on the roof.

"Take a swan dive off the roof and pray for a quirk in your next life."

'Right,' Izuku thought. 'I'm useless and wanted dead. What a coincidence I ended up on a roof. It's like the world wants me to die.' He chuckled sadly to himself and then sighed. With slow but confident steps, he brought himself to the ledge. Sadly, our smol green bean didn't feel any worry about death, but longed for it. He thanked the universe that he was in a desolate part of town so he won't traumatize some random passing citizen.

And with the thought of freedom and relief, he fell, making sure his face was towards the sky. It was a beautiful day, really. The air was warm, the sky had an orange tint to it due to the sun setting. Birds were singing sweet lullabies and there was no one around to interfere.

Izuku was glad this was how he died, even if it was by his own hand. The wind blew his fluffy hair across his face. His clothes rippled in sync with each other. And with one last smile—a genuine smile—Izuku hit the ground with a thump.

(•́ - •̩̥̀)

"WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL!" That was the first time Izuku has ever cursed.

—————

1881 Words

Here is the first chapter! The chapters that they posted are still the same, so there won't be any difference in that aspect. I'll update this every week and then I'll try to figure out a schedule for the chapters I write 😅

I hope to do this justice with the continuation. I don't think I'm quite as funny or quirky, but I'll try my best. Leave your thoughts and what you might want to see for any chapters—to give me some future ideas and such.

I don't know when this will end or how quite yet, but this will probably be over thirty chapters (most definitely is the more likely outcome).

Anyways, I'm going to set the official date for updating these already written chapters as Monday! So, for the next few weeks, I'll be posting on Monday with this book. (That also means you'll get an update tomorrow -3-).

See you then!

~Hutchinson1K

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