"Long time no see, Fredrickson," Miss Pauling says. I jolt awake and sit up on the couch, groaning as I lay back down.
"I don't want to be here." I turn over and face the inside of the couch. She sits in her usual spot on the armchair.
"No one really cares about what you do and don't want at this point, Fredrickson. You're going to learn that quick at the fort, especially if his name is Sniper."
I lift myself onto an arm and turn my head to look at her, slitted eyes as I put my hair out of the way of my face. "The fuck does that mean?" She puts her hands up and shrugs, looking past me into the kitchen. I turn around, met with the barrel of a gun. Sniper stands with it to my forehead, and I tap it. "Do it."
"We don't always get what we want, Fredrickson," Miss Pauling sighs. "Not even me."
He cocks it and shoots her dead before he hits me across the face instead, causing me to roll off the couch. He slowly walks around grunting, stepping on my arm and chest. I can't breathe, and I can feel my ribcage about to cave. Sniper stands on me, a hand over his neck as he shakily pulls the trigger. Flinching my head to the side, I inhale sharply and look up at him aiming further over to the side. I take my other hand and wrap around his knees, causing him to fall. Air quickly fill my lungs as I snatch the gun away and rise to my feet. Sniper reaches into his vest and pulls out a tin like Spy's, smoke fading from his body.
George lays on the floor, grinning like a menace. Sniper grabs me from behind and puts his hand over my mouth as he puts his kukri to my neck. I stop struggling and stare at George with wide eyes that have tears threatening to fall. Sniper's body is warm, a false sense of security. I place my hands over his as I feel his breath on my cheek. His arms are rough and hairy, muscles tensed as he holds me. There's a moment of calm as we all stay stationary, unsure of what'll happen.
Sniper slits my throat.
I slowly open my eyes, out of breath, as Heavy sits at my desk. I lift my head and wipe my eyes, feeling my heartbeat in my temples. The Russian rumbles as he rubs his chin. "I am sorry. Perhaps family tradition was not correct for you and Sniper."
I pant to regain some air. It's been a while since I had a nightmare about Vanguard. Sniper hasn't been in any of my dreams after that night. Hell, it's been a while since I've had a purgatory dream with Miss Pauling. I kinda had a theory that I only get those if I'm about to die. What's going to happen later today, then? "I'm sorry that I woke you."
"We are all learning," he gently says. "Maybe you should go talk to him in tower. Alone."
The clock almost reads three in the morning. Problems like this can't keep being "dealt" with later. Heavy goes back to his room as I slip on sneakers to traverse across the courtyard. Walking around in a tank top and shorts isn't much of an issue in this heat. Coyotes howl from beyond the fort walls, and the wind whistles as it passes through the scaffolding of Sniper's tower. The metal steps tap each time my foot lands, the queasiness in my bloodstream increasing with each time I circle onto a new landing. Something pulls me to go back down and make a visit to Engie instead, given that Engie doesn't set me off and cause me to get physical with him. Not yet, anyway. I hope he doesn't.
Sniper opens the door for me when I knock. "Freddie."
"Sniper," I say back, staying on my feet when offered to sit down and crossing my arms to hold myself.
"Need something, Luv?" He asks as he checks his watch. "Well, I'd assume you need something if we're awake at this time of night."
"I'm sorry for hitting you."
"It's all good, Luv. Maybe I deserved a good puntin'."
"How'd your contract go?"
"Nothin' too special."
I don't think there are many benefits when it comes down to leaving out details on the situation. "I still get nightmares from when all of that happened a month ago. Some things are seared into my brain and just thinking about it puts me on edge."
"'Fore we start, I have to ask-" he moves his sunglasses from on top of his hat to hanging from his shirt, "are you afraid of me or what I did?"
"I'm not afraid of you," I quietly answer. "If you scared me, I wouldn't have come here. I think it's safe to assume that when you threaten to stab me- or any normal person on this planet- with a knife, that's terrifying."
"It's never that simple, excuse me," he shakes his head and steers me out of the way so he can get something. I glace around, nothing much changing from what I remember. The blankets on his couch are unfolded, and the divot in the cushion remains. He sighs, turning to me and having me stand with my back against the oak wood wall. "Full disclosure, there's no threat here, Luv. I'm not out to get you. This is just a test."
"Okay..." I reluctantly accept.
He slowly puts his arm up, pressing his forearm lightly to my chest and holding onto my wrist to check my pulse. "So you're fine like this..." He makes notes to himself as he grabs me by my arms and throws me up against the wall, pinning me to see if it would get a reaction out of me. I don't think anything significant changed because I'm breathing just the same. He removes his hand from my wrist and reaches behind him, slowly unsheathing his kukri. I swallow hard when I see a small reflection of light off of the metal, and he picks up on it. "Bingo." The tip slowly makes its way toward my neck, and I turn my head away. I start to lift my hands, keeping his at a distance when he's gotten too close. He pushes against my grip, and I quiver. "We're all fine and well until the bloke starts to carry a knife."
"Th-that would make sense," I stifle, my arms shaking as I still hold him away.
"This'll never be us, Luv," his breath lays gently over my ear as he whispers to me. "Not like this. You don't 'ave to worry about me coming after you should we ever get into a fight with another bloody piker."
"And I believe you," I shakily express. "I can't just- turn off my bodily reaction like that, though."
"Anno," he says. "But we're getting somewhere, one way or another." He keeps his hand still, and my heart slows down as I take deep breaths. I slowly release my fingers from his hand and drop them to my side, eventually glancing at him in the eyes. He didn't turn the lights on, and my eyes try to piece together the rest of his face as moonlight gives me hints. He sheathes his kukri but doesn't let go of me.
"Sniper?" I call in a hushed voice, wondering what's going on. His now free hand holds onto my chin, his lips brushing up against my cheek. He places his forehead on mine, tilting my head upward to balance out the height difference. Sniper kisses me. He's bold about it with his strong plant to my lips. He doesn't stay for long, pulling away after a few seconds and stepping back to give me my space. I stare at him from my corner of the room, devoid of any comment on the situation. He rubs the back of his neck and sits down at the window, picking up his rifle.
"'Umor me, Freddie," he requests. "Feel like a wuss enough as it is."
I shrug and lean my back against the wall, staring at the tenebrosity behind the couch while drawing a blank on anything to surrender as personal opinion. I don't think I'm asleep right now, but I pinch my side as I cross my arms to verify. That was fucking awful, to say the very least. He hasn't shown the slightest sign of being interested in me, so a kiss from out of the blue while we're still trying to work out the fact that I can't handle seeing him holding a knife is... Perplexingly eligible to be described as both comical but also a tad bit cute to be played in the tone of 'why the fuck would you do such a thing?' "That didn't feel right."
"Have you ever looked through the scope of a rifle, Luv?" He inquires while ignoring my previous statement.
"No, I don't have much experience with firearms," I remind.
"Your world becomes a whole lot smaller," he says, lifting his head to stare out of the window with both of his eyes. "The last time you were here, my usual world of cracked desert, checking in on the wankers, and the occasional bus became you. Did nothing but keep an eye on you because I was so sure you were here to carry out bad bizzo. Did it out of spite since all I remember is hatin' you. A sniper. To stay focused on our targets, we imagine doin' something with 'em that would defo take a long time. Farming and ranch upkeep is always my go-to. Imagine how much of a dag I feel when I'm sittin' 'ere and thinking up about how you and I are shearing sheep at me parents' farm when you're no longer someone I wanna kill."
"Your parents tend to sheep?" I try to digress. He even admitted to hating me, he's not making this any better for either of us.
"Amongst other things, but you're missing my point, Sheila," he chuckles. "I like you. Just a touch. Might not be what you wanted to hear, but it's what we've got. At the least, I'd prefer we be mates, Freddie. It's late, and you should head down."
I nod, coming out of the corner and patting him on the shoulder. He turns me to face him at the door. His eyes hesitate on whether or not he should kiss me again, and I don't think I'm at full mental capacity to explore such avenues. I depart and start the trek down the stairs, leaving with twice the amount of confusion as I had going in. This is weird. I don't like him like that. I can't go back to bed with this still on my mind. I could go talk to Engie about it, but that'd be weird. Showing up at someone's doorstep in the middle of night and saying "hey, really out of tune romantic advances were made on me." I don't want to tell him about that. I don't want to tell anyone about that. It's slightly embarrassing and feels like I'm in high school again and spreading gossip. Only this time, it's about me.
I'm hungry anyway, and I need something to do. I don't think there'd be too much harm in getting a quick bite to eat. It's still dark out, but there isn't much of a threat. I start to walk for the fort, seeing a small light emanating from the kitchen. I walk in, the light above the stove being the only thing on. That and the stove itself. Soldier sits on the floor with Pyro in front of the oven, staring through the little window to watch something bake. I step behind them, Soldier looking up at me with a muscle shirt and black boxers on, still wearing his helmet as usual. "Accomplice, come watch the brownies with us."
"You watch them?" I ask, getting on the floor with them.
"Passes the time," he whispers. "What are you doing up?"
"I could ask the same thing."
"I was hungry," he says.
"I am, too." I move closer and hug my legs. I feel my shorts stretch. Maybe late-night snacking isn't a good idea. "Is this a thing you do often?"
"Yes. Usually, Scout is here with me, but Pyro joined me this time. We feast in the name of America tonight, Oorah," he trails, getting onto his knees and turning the dials on the oven until it turns off. "And, they're done." We sit for a bit longer in silence to wait for the oven to cool down. It's really bugging me. I don't want Sniper to like me, not like that. It makes things so much more difficult. I just whooped him earlier, and now he's kissing me in the dead of the night like there was some kind of mounting tension between us. The only tension I feel around him is negative. It's no longer just awkward.
Pyro stands up and opens the oven, taking out the tray of brownies with his gloves on and setting it on top of the stove, Soldier getting a knife and cutting them into squares. I stand up, too, getting a napkin. "Gimme an edge piece."
"Edge piece," Soldier echoes, digging it out of the pan. "Edge piece. There you go, sister."
"Thank you," I take it and start to pick it apart into pieces on the counter to let it cool down quicker. Pyro takes his pieces and retreats to his room, leaving me and Soldier in the kitchen. We both stand at the counter, picking at our pastries. This feels bad. I feel like I shouldn't be eating. Something feels empty inside of me, and I want to fill it.
I shouldn't put too much mind into it because that stresses me out, but I can't help but think about it when I'm putting anything in my mouth. Soldier doesn't seem to mind eating whatever he wants since he's already on his third brownie when I'm trying to slowly eat my first, but it's different since he works out regularly and clearly keeps up with himself as I saw when he was had on swimwear. Pyro took six with him, so he doesn't care too much either. That leaves three for me and one more for Soldier if we split them evenly.
"You aren't eating your brownie," Soldier notices. "Is it bad?"
"No, no, it's good. I like it. I'm just thinking about things," I take a bigger chunk and bite into it. It's crunchy, and the top layer of fudge is wonderfully in between chewy and crispy. I shouldn't be eating this. I take another out of the tray. Soldier isn't much for words, and we silently eat out of the tray for the next twenty minutes or so, finishing up and washing the dishes in the sink. I throw my napkin away in the trash, and Soldier I both walk back to our homes quietly in the veil of the night. We didn't talk at all, but we had a moment. Two people snacking in the early morning for one reason or another.
I couldn't sleep. All I could think about was Sniper kissing me. The sentiment is nice, but he shouldn't like me. I enjoy the attention even though there are so many reasons why he shouldn't want to go out with me. I can't sleep. I toss and turn for two hours straight, trying to get comfortable, but my thoughts get bounced around at hyper speeds inside my head.
Daylight breaks and I enter the kitchen to see Medic as the usual resident- taking up the stove this morning- with Scout and Soldier remaining stationary. Scout sits with his feet on the table, throwing up a baseball and catching it repeatedly. "Yo."
"Good morning," I say.
"Buenos dias again, maggot," Soldier rings.
"Again?" Medic questions.
"We ate brownies together a couple of hours ago." Soldier turns to Medic and points at him. "it's a free country, we do what we want as citizens. Not that you'd know anything about that."
"Guten Morgen," Medic smiles as brightly as he can after ignoring Soldier, turning around to reveal an apron covering his nice dress clothing. "Can I interest you in some Eierkuchen?"
"Some what?"
"Pfannkuchen."
"Medic, I don't even know French all that well, I don't know what you're trying to offer me."
"Pancakes," Scout says, readjusting his feet. I glance at him. "I only listen to Medic when it comes to food."
I chuckle. I'm not hungry, and Medic's also not making coffee. I still shouldn't ignore breakfast. Ugh, why do I have to overthink things? "Uh, sure. A couple isn't going to hurt." I want to change that statement. "Just one is fine."
Engie runs outside with a toolbox in hand, too preoccupied to acknowledge Medic when he tries to ask him if he wants breakfast. A light bulb goes off in my head. "I have to make a call, I'll be right back."
I enter the armory, not wanting to go all the way back to my room since I forgot to take my phone with me like I did yesterday like a klutz. This phone works a bit differently, but not too different. Instead of a number pad, there's a large metal rod that slides into a hole with a person's name by it. Supposedly, Team Fortress has access to the president of all people. If I come up with a good enough thing to say to Richard Nixon, I'll be sure to say it. I slide the pin over to Miss Pauling and pick up the phone, waiting for her to pick up.
"Pauling," she says.
"Hey, Miss Pauling," I greet.
"Oh, Fredrickson," she sounds busy. "Need something?"
"A couple. For starters, some of the guys are wondering if I would be able to go on contracts with them. Namely Engie, but I guess for future reference."
A gunshot goes off in the background. "As long as I can still reach you by phone, you'd be able to go with them. Obviously, there are a few where you don't have a choice, but you'll be able to earn bonuses if you team up with them. Subject to taxes, of course, but a bonus is a bonus. Assuming you actually kill someone while you're there. What's the other thing?"
Would it be a good idea to tell her about what happened with Sniper? Doing so would be premature. "Uh, what do I do with the other guys that don't have contracts?"
"They can take care of themselves, Fredrickson. Wait, hold on," she grunts and a shotgun blast becomes prominent. "But the team can handle not having work all of the time. Come up with house rules if you're so worried about them. Give me a second. I have a shotgun bub, and I'm not afraid to use it!"
"Screw you, bitch!" Another voice yells over the line.
"Anything else Fredrickson?"
"No, no, that pretty much covers it."
"Okay, gotta go. Do me a favor and hang up, please. You think you're tough? I'll have you know that I'm thee Miss Pauling, bucko." I hang up before my ear gets blown off with more gunshots. I have a feeling she's still mad at me but just won't show it unless it's to make a point. I've seen her do it before, where she withholds her true feelings on an issue until it's appropriate to input her two cents. Well, appropriate where she sees fit.
"Mornin', Accomplice," Engie puffs, running past me and unmounting a shotgun from the wall, pumping the forestock and running back outside. I stand in the doorway, watching what's happening from afar. "So I figured it out."
"Figured what out?" Scout asks, sitting up when Medic places a plate in front of him. I sit down at the table with him and Soldier, turning my chair to face Engie. He sets his shotgun down on the table and takes a PDA from his side satchel after kicking open his toolbox, the teleporter whirring as it slowly builds.
"Why the teleporter creates bread monsters."
"I'm sorry, hold on," I interrupt and accept my plate from Medic. "The teleporter made those things?"
"Yes'm," Engie confirms.
"And you still use the teleporters?"
"Yup," he confirms with the same tone.
"So you still continue to use the teleporters..."
"Uh-huh."
"...when you know that it does that."
"Pretty much."
"Okay, but it makes bread monsters."
He shrugs. "All you're doing is rephrasing, Accomplice."
"It only affects the wheat," Medic says. "Trust us, we made a spectacle out of it when we learned that it happens." He picks up Engie's shotgun and holds it by the pump in one hand so it isn't on the table. "Even then, they're technically not bread monsters. It's a parasitic entity that can only ferment within an area of yeast, making a loaf of brot an ideal breeding ground."
"Regardless, I figured it out," Engie gets us back on track as his teleporter spins furiously with a red glow. "Soldier, you mind takin' that loaf of bread from the counter and throwin' it into the entrance teleporter in my garage?"
"Sir, yes sir!" He agrees, shoving the pancake into his mouth and leaving to do what was asked of him.
"Alright, science mumbo jumbo," Scout talks with his mouth full. Heavy quietly enters and takes a seat at the other table, Demo joining as well with Spy. "Give it to us Hardhat."
"I realized the displacement fluctuation was a tad off balance while fiddling with the central pivot to get a faster teleport time," he takes his shotgun from Medic and flips off the safety. "Didn't some of you fellas say that you also saw a couple of things while gettin' from one place to another? Figured that would also be the reason why you feel a bit queasy inside when moving along the fourth dimension. At the very least, be thankful that a tiny little miscalibration doesn't do anything to ya physically as it does mentally."
I don't even bother to try and decipher what he meant by the fourth dimension. Medic hands me a fork and leans on the edge of the table with his arms crossed as something comes up with a flash of light. The bread loaf floats and spins slowly, Engie smiling at the results. "I'll be! That seemed to do the trick."
Medic stands up and picks it up, breaking it in half with a sickening snap! Green pimples still reside within the inside. I think it's pulsating. Medic hums with content. "At least it's not sentient."
"Progress if anything at that," Engie sighs. "Back to the drawing board, boys."
"Morning, pikers," Sniper says as he walks into the kitchen from the plaza.
"I teleported bread!" Soldier giddily laughs as he returns from Engie's workshop.
"You what, mate?" Sniper cautiously ventures.
Engie puts a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, I let him. Was checkin' to see if I discovered why my machine does what it does."
I start eating when Sniper makes eye contact with me, turning back around to the table to not look at him. The last thing we need to be doing right now is creating a discomforting work environment.
"Now that we have completed the moronic task of today, I have this for you," Spy announces, handing me a briefcase.
I swallow my food and take it from him. "That was... Fast. What's in this?"
"Intelligence," the entire room answers. Looking at the case, it's glaringly obvious now. I've seen it before, too, what the hell? Don't I feel stupid?
"Here, I'll take ya to the Intelligence room and give you the code and such," Engie offers as he sets his shotgun down and starts to pick up his building. A chill runs down my spine, and the air feels electric. Sniper rubs his arms and the room shifts as Engie stops what he's doing. "Y'all felt that, too, right?"
Scout shivers. "It is October and everythin'." Pyro comes inside with his flamethrower out, beckoning us to follow him. The team takes their time, consulting the armory before heading out. I follow after, tailing behind Soldier who lit himself a cigar before coming out. The sky is a murky grey, the wind beginning to pick up and throw dirt around. It never rains in the Badlands, this is an incredible change in the weather. I unclip my holster and pull out my handgun to be at the ready with everyone else. Pyro stops us at the campsite where he lit a fire in the pit. I go to step toward the front of the group, but Sniper puts a hand on my shoulder to hold me back. Pyro points his flamethrower to the sky, and my eyes follow.
What is that thing? It's like some sort of crack in the air, green mist pouring out of the seam. "Huh her deh headeh?"
"I mean, we could just ignore him this year," Scout shrugs.
"Scout should know that that is never option," Heavy rolls his eyes and starts to rev his minigun.
Spy spins his revolver. "May it be through sheer need or comedic neglect, there is no escaping the wizard."
I squint. Wizard? I repressed a lot of things, but that sounds familiar.
"Light 'er up, Pyro," Demo says, lifting his grenade launcher.
Pyro pulls out a flare gun and shoots one into the crack, a cough echoing out of the rift. That can't be--
"Who dares try to gas the Great Merasmus?"
"Me, you sonuva bitch," Soldier growls as he fires off a rocket without warning. I take a few steps back after the blast, needing to shield my eyes as the air becomes polluted with dust. I slit my eyes, Engie, Pyro, and Soldier the only ones standing strong. The wind ceases in an instant. I slowly look up, the sky now a malicious green with a man floating in the air. Oh, fuck, this piece of shit.
"Merasmus!" Soldier yells, pointing at him. "You cannot stay with us! We're not renting, leave!"
"Merasmus isn't looking for a roommate, you imbecile," he bellows back, "I have come to curse you all! Who would want to stay here? You didn't even decorate for Halloween."
Puh, mmph heph hmmph meheh," Pyro sasses.
"Bah, your awful taste in interior design and unwillingness to put up decor is not going to deter Merasmus from visiting you on Halloween." Everyone glances at each other, very unphased by the threat made against us. Merasmus whispers under his breath as he gets a headcount on us, pointing the end of his staff at me. "You, you're new. You're not the other purple one. Who are you?"
"Uh," I purse my lips. "Does it matter?"
"I will more than likely not remember your name," he admits. "I would suppose it doesn't. Wouldn't hurt to know, though."
"Miss Fredrickson."
"Too many syllables."
"Ah, hell, listen ya yella-bellied gutless coward," Engie grumbles rapidly, lifting his shotgun. "I'll have you know--"
"Silence, mortal!" Merasmus chucks his staff at Engie, landing with a ding! and knocking him out cold despite his head protection. I'm either crazy or the words "mini-crit" manifested out of thin air. He flexes his hand and the staff reappears in his grip. I get on the ground and lift Engie's head up, patting him on the cheek a few times. "Before I was so rudely interrupted... Ah yes. Hold on, I had a whole speech planned--"
I reach for Engie's gun, slowly lifting it and aiming at the wizard in the sky. He looks and shakes his stick at me, enough of a threat to make me lower the firearm. "That's what I thought." He clears his throat. "Mortals! It is I, Merasmus. It is that time of year again where my powers are at their strongest. All of you, Team Fortress, will be the subject of my wrath for the next thirty-one d--"
"Twenty-nine," Spy corrects. "You missed yesterday, and you cannot count the day you are currently one. We are subject to your wrath for twenty-nine days."
"Are you now?" He takes out reading glasses from his pouch and unrolls a scroll. This is heavily anticlimactic from what I was expecting out of a wizard. I turn to the rest of the team, all looking rather bored already. How many years has this been an event? Engie stirs in my lap, and I tap his cheek while whispering his name a couple of times.
Medic gets on the ground and smirks. "Perhaps we should take off his goggles to check his pupils and make sure they're responsive."
I move my hands up to the sides of his goggles, lifting them gently off his skin until his hands jet to mine and pulls them back down. "I like ya, dear, but there's a thing called 'boundaries.'"
"Medic said to--"
"No no, Spy, that's where you're wrong," Merasmus starts back up again. "I get my two days. It's here in the subscription terms."
"If that is what the paper says, then please, continue."
Heavy heaves, beginning to shoot at Merasmus. "Heavy is tired of wizard talking!"
The entire team, save Medic and Engie, takes this as an excuse to start attacking, rapid assault coming from all directions.
"Ah, hey!" The wizard disappears and reappears behind us, waving his staff and grumbling as his assailants' weapons disintegrate in pumpkin innards. "You are all starting to get on Merasmus's nerves."
"Sasha!" Heavy cries.
"Then leave you batshit crazy piker!" Sniper yells at him with his hands out, not knowing what to do with the goop. "We already don't want you here."
"Bats..." Merasmus hesitates, watching Medic's flock of doves fly overhead. "New idea for your first curse. Bird heads. Again this year. That's it. I'm going home, this is already not a great start. Aviansium Cabezactum!"
There is just pain everywhere, everyone hunching over as they cry out from whatever spell was just cast on them. I pick up my still intact handgun, keeping a hand on Engie as he writhes around on the cracked sand. There's no telling if what he did is going to come after me in particular like it did last time. He looks at me. "Merasmus has spared you because you haven't done anything to me. Yet." He floats back into the crack in the sky that closes up. The sun starts to blaze again and I quickly begin to heat up, the only difference being that the sky is pitch black with foreboding clouds looming over the fort, a spooky theme now encompassing our surroundings. He opens up slightly one last time, and he echoes from within. "Merasmus also cursed your teleporters."
"Darn," Engie chirps. Wait, Engie doesn't chirp. Come to think of it, I'm no longer holding onto Engie's scruffy cheek but now a mass of feathers. I look down at him, met with a canary. "Howdy, how're you?"
"Aw," I giggle, filled with sheer terror over what the hell just happened. Bird heads? So is this just Engie with a head that looks like a bird or is it some weird kind of morph that smites God in its creation? I hear crowing, and I turn to the rest of the team to check in on them. Spy feels his head, trilling as he snaps his beak a few times, now resembling a corvid.
Adorable. Why is that the word that keeps popping into my head? This should be a nightmare and passively traumatizing at the very least, but birds are one of my favorite animals and I simply cannot object to this. Engie chirps a couple more times, and I bury my fingers into his feathers, amused with this turn of events. Medic coos and rests the underside of his beak on top of my head.
"Accomplice, you're taking this surprisingly well," Scout notes, trying to set his hat on top of his head and opting to just hold it instead. I smile at him.
"Are you a cardinal?" I swoon.
"Uh, yeah... Does that mean you'll finally give me a little bit of lovin'?" He moves closer to me, squatting down and encouraging me to reach out and pet him. As much as I want to, I have to deal with the issue on hand. I lift Engie's head and push him to sit up as well as shaking Medic off, standing up and dusting myself off.
"Okay, Merasmus is on the loose. So we should--" I'm interrupted by Pyro honking as a flamingo. He snaps his beak and shakes his head, remaining quiet. "So we--" Heavy the robin winds up a screech before stopping himself. "We should get on that as soon as possible."
"So we should get on that as soon as possible!" Demo squawks, a parrot. "Sorry, lass, didnae mean tae dae that."
"That's alright. What's--" Soldier the bald eagle next to me screams in my ear, followed by Medic- who resembles Archimedes Two- nipping at my shoulder. "What's the first thing we need to do?"
"We should probably do something about the teleporters," Engie suggests, getting to his feet and adjusting his goggles. "Dunno what he meant by 'curse', but it'd be a good idea to go round 'em up and shut 'em off."
Sniper sneezes while he's facing away from me, a tiny honk coming from him as he ruffles his feathers. He holds onto his hat and glasses, his head making a full one-eighty to look at me. I flinch. "I think that a break is probably good to start off with."