SHIP: Minsung (Jisung centric)
PLOT: Jisung wants to be Minho's Heather.
TRIGGER: Sad hours
Jisung had started the school year with bright new goals and intentions, spend time on studying, friends, family, and hobbies. No boyfriends, no love, and no hurtful bullsh*t.
Of course, everything had gone as planned until their teacher decided it would be a good idea to change seats. And he sat behind the one and only Lee Minho.
Everything went fine at first, they were good classmates, Jisung helped Minho with his homework and Minho would make Jisung laugh from time to time.
Until Jisung started to feel happy every time the older would turn around, even if it was just to ask a math question or ask for a pencil. His little innocent heart would flutter endlessly, while he stared into Minho's big brown eyes.
He had to accept facts, he had a crush on Lee Minho. At first, it was just something little, Felix, his best friend told him so; "It's probably just physical attraction, you just find him hot, it will be gone in a few months." And to be honest, Jisung thought the same.
Christmas break came along fast, Jisung was happy, he did think about Minho from time to time, just innocently thinking about how would his Christmas be, or how happy he was around his family. The thoughts were short though, with no nostalgia or pain in them.
After Christmas and the new year, they were all back to school. That was when the feelings became stronger, he would wait impatiently for the browned har boy to turn around and hear his sweet melodious voice.
He would imagine Minho confessing to him on Valentine's day, how would their relationship be, how loving the older boy would be with him.
He told his friends how much had his feelings grown. They would all encourage Jisung, telling him how he had to be confident, telling him about how pretty he was, how intelligent, how caring. Convincing him that it was impossible that Minho didn't like him. How the older had to be blind to not notice the angel sitting right behind him.
That filled Jisung up with hope, it made him feel warm, it made him feel happy and hopeful that one day, all those silly scenarios he had built up in his head would come true.
But, you know? Love sucks, it hurts, it makes you feel vulnerable. Jisung opened up too soon, he got his hopes high too soon, he believed in love too soon.
One afternoon after school Felix suggested talking to Hyunjin, Minho's best friend, and see if Minho had a crush on someone, Jisung had his head full of hopes, and it was all a fun game of 'what if's' until they got their response that evening.
'I'm sorry,' Felix wrote on text, 'He likes Laila.'
That's when everything hit Jisung like a truck. He wasn't good enough, it had never been good enough. Minho didn't like him, he just had used him so that he could copy homework and cheat on tests.
Jisung had changed for Minho, he had tried to not be so loud because Minho told him he didn't like loud people, he tried to always get all his assignments perfect so that Minho could copy whenever he needed, and all for nothing, well he did have something in return, hurting anxiety, and a cracked heart.
He had tried convincing himself with the typical excuse. Those words didn't come out of Minho's mouth. Maybe they had just invented an excuse for something, but nothing he ever imagined actually had a reasonable explanation.
The next school day, he tried acting tough, like he didn't need him, just to come home back again and cry his little broken heart out.
He tried acting normal the day after that, but after seeing Minho walk inside the classroom he just knew he couldn't do it, maybe tomorrow he would feel stronger but not today.
He grabbed his guitar and ran to the school rooftop. He wasted no time in taking the guitar outside the case and putting the fingers in the corresponding chords.
Heather - Conan Gray
I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater
You said it looked better on me than it did you
Only if you knew how much I liked you
But I watch your eyes as she
Walks by
What a sight for sore eyes
Brighter than the blue sky
She's got you mesmerized while I die
Why would you ever kiss me?
I'm not even half as pretty
You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester
But you like her better
Wish I were Heather
Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand
Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder
But how could I hate her, she's such an angel
But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she
Walks by
What a sight for sore eyes
Brighter than the blue sky
She's got you mesmerized while I die
Why would you ever kiss me?
I'm not even half as pretty
You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester
But you like her better
I wish I were Heather
Oh, I wish I were Heather
Oh, oh, wish I were Heather
Why would you ever kiss me?
I'm not even half as pretty
You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester
But you like her better
Wish I were
He finished the song as he burst into tears for the tenth time that week, it hurt, oh god, it was so f*cking painful. People told him to stop overreacting, that he was too young to even know what love was.
His friends told him that he wasn't worth it, and maybe he wasn't, but he couldn't help but keep falling for him, and oh dear, he was so scared to fall in love, he was so scared to love Minho, and that it was one-sided.
He didn't even want a chance with Minho anymore; he just wanted the feelings for Minho to disappear, he just wanted to see the older male as a friend, nothing more, and he would be happier if it were even less.
WORD COUND: 1064
Jisung is me, I am Jisung, Minho represents my crush. I feel so f*cking stupid for liking him right now. The girl he likes is everything I am and more, so basically, I wrote this by heart.
That being said, I hope you enjoy it, I love you, and remember you are more than enough! Don't ever change for anyone!