"I really hope you understand, Leah," Carrie said to me before I could leave the hospital after a nurse had rushed us all out of the room because there were too many visitors inside. "I just want you to know that I'm not doing this to get you angry. I'm doing this so you and Blake will be safe."
I couldn't even think of anything to say to her. She thought that keeping Blake and me away from each other would keep us safe, but I knew it wouldn't. It would probably do the exact opposite, but I knew telling her this would change nothing.
"I understand," I lied. "I know you just want what's good for us, and it's good for us to be separated. Our relationship really is... unhealthy."
Forcing the word out hurt my throat. I didn't believe it, and I wasn't ever going to believe it. But whatever made her think I wasn't going nuts over this was what I was going to do.
Carrie smiled, and I was surprised when she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and hugged me. At first, I didn't respond, because it really caught me off guard, but I quickly hugged her back anyway. I didn't want her to think I was up to anything.
So when we parted ways, I had to think about what I was going to do for the rest of the day. I couldn't come back to the hospital until midnight, so I still had many hours to waste. What could I have done?
The first thing I did was have Jane drive me home. Not to Blake's apartment, but to the actual home I was raised in. My parents were surprised to see me, and I wasn't even able to tell them why I was there at first. Because, honestly, I didn't know what I was doing there.
"Leah!" my mother exclaimed when she saw me, and I only waved at her awkwardly. "What are you doing here? It isn't Saturday."
That was true. But as much as I wanted to tell them everything that had happened, my throat felt constricted and tight. I really just wanted to cry, even though I already had in the hospital.
"I, uh..." I forced out, wanting to slap myself. Why was I having trouble speaking to my own parents. "Blake woke up."
Both of my parents' eyes went wide at what I had blurted, and I wanted to slap myself even more for telling them the way I did. The last thing I wanted to do was blurt it out, but it was too late to change anything now.
"Really?" my mother asked, and I could tell she didn't know what she was supposed to say. "That's... great."
And for once, I couldn't tell if my mother was lying or not. I expected her to say something like this, but be obviously lying. But as I stood there before her, I had no idea what she really meant.
But then I remembered. Carrie had said that my parents agreed on not letting me see Blake. So that meant that they either already knew that he was awake, or they had all discussed this while he was still in the coma.
"But you guys don't care," I found myself snapping now after a few moments of silence. "You both agreed to not let me see him anymore."
This only caused both of their eyes to go even wider, if that was possible. They obviously had no idea that I knew that they had betrayed me.
"Leah..." my mother started now, and she still looked like she didn't know what she was supposed to say. "You have to understand that we just want what's best for you."
"Oh, please," I scoffed, turning toward the stairs but not walking up them. This wasn't my home anymore, so why would I go upstairs? So I turned back toward my parents, hot tears forming at the corners of my eyes. "You never liked Blake. Both of you never liked him and you never wanted me to be with him in the first place! You don't care about what's the safest choice for me; you just want me to date someone like Sean!"
This made my mother stay silent, and my dad looked very awkward in this whole situation. I wanted to leave, but there was nowhere I could go. I knew I'd get in trouble if I tried to go back to Blake's apartment.
I turned toward the door, fed up and done with them. It hadn't been the first time I felt this way, but it hadn't ever been this bad. Even when my mother tried to force me into dating Sean or even Derrick.
"Don't expect me back here tonight," I called out, not even looking back at them. "I'm spending the night at Leslie's."
But that was a lie, of course. I was going to go visit Blake in the hospital before going back to his apartment, even though I was obviously not allowed there any longer. But it wasn't like I was going to let anyone stop me.
Before going to Blake's apartment, I went to the diner to go get something to eat. I was hoping for a table inside, but since I just had the best luck ever, I was seated outside.
It always sucked to eat outside by yourself, because everyone walking by could see you and judge you for eating alone. I always felt like someone was watching me eat every time I was out there.
And with my bad luck still running strong, the waitress placed me in the same exact spot I had been in when Sean's football buddies had harassed me. That just proved that this was going to be a fun meal.
Thinking about the past, I felt my eyes water. I tried wiping at my eyes, but that only made it ten times worse for myself.
When I saw a familiar figure in the distance, the person grinned right back at me. I didn't even have to say anything because he beat me to it.
"Hey!" Christian grinned, but it quickly faded away when he saw my face. "Hey... Are you okay?"
I wanted to say yes, but I didn't even know if that was the right answer or not. I wiped at my eyes, not wanting to look too pathetic, but I knew that it was already too late.
Christian took a seat across from me, and I couldn't help but be reminded of the stranger that had helped me the last time I sat at this table, all alone. Sean's football buddies were making fun of me for dating Blake and she helped me. I was always going to be thankful for her.
"What's wrong?" Christian asked me now.
I gulped, not knowing if I wanted to trust him with my current fragile state. I had only known him for a couple of weeks, and even though he was a really great guy, it was still weird for me.
"I've just... been really depressed for the past couple of months," I shrugged, even though that had been obvious.
Christian nodded. "Yeah, I know. I heard a lot of rumors about you."
I let out a sigh, placing my face in my hands and letting out a muffled groan. As much as I wanted to scream, I knew I couldn't in a public place, no matter how much I tried to muffle it.
"But didn't your boyfriend just wake up?" Christian questioned, and I bit down on my lip harder than I meant to. "Shouldn't you be happy about that?"
Without even thinking, I blurted, "We have to stay away from each other."
Christian merely blinked, as if he had no idea what I meant. So without thinking again, I began explaining everything that had happened after I left the classroom.
And surprisingly, Christian listened. He listened to everything I had to say, not even interrupting me once. If I had been talking to any of my other friends, they would have stopped me before I could even start. But Christian... He listened.
"I'm sorry," was the first thing he said when I stopped to take a breath, and this caught me off guard. I was so used to people disagreeing with me that I was surprised when someone didn't. "That must be really hard to deal with."
I wiped at my eyes again, even though there was no way getting around how miserable I felt about everything. I was just so tired of crying.
"I'm just so tired of feeling this way," I sniffed, continuing to wipe at my eyes with the back of my hand. "Blake's awake, he's finally awake, but it's not making me feel any better because of the people around us. I thought I'd feel so much better once he woke up, but I was wrong. I'm feeling even worse."
Christian frowned, but said nothing. And honestly, that was what I wanted him to do. I didn't want him to say anything right away. I just wanted to be able to cry in front of someone and not feel guilty about it afterwards.
"It's all going to be okay, I'm sure," he assured me once my crying had died down a little. "I haven't seen the two of you together, but I can tell that your love is strong. Strong enough to break any rules that someone might give you."
I found myself smiling at him now, and I couldn't help but feel grateful to him. Christian seemed to be the only thing that was able to make me smile, and I just didn't understand it. But at that moment, I wasn't about to question it.
We chatted for what seemed like forever after that, but it really wasn't that long at all. But when he told me he had to leave, I actually felt kind of sad. It was so nice talking to him.
"Oh, before I forget!" he nearly shouted, snapping his fingers as if he remembered something. He then slung off his backpack, opened it, and pulled something out before thrusting it toward me. "This is your audition piece for the play. I made sure to get it from Mr. Summers before I left, just in case I saw you around before class on Monday."
I stared down at my audition piece, up at Christian, and then back down at my audition piece again. How could someone be as sweet as him? The last time I met someone as nice as him, it was... Blake.
Christian waved before turning away from me and heading down the street. I just continued to stare down at my audition piece, one tear plopping down on it before I wiped the others away. I was really thankful to have Christian when I didn't have anyone else.
After I was finished eating, I went back to Blake's apartment. It felt wrong, practically sneaking inside. I felt like I was being watched, even though I knew I wasn't. I was just being overly paranoid about everything.
I spent the rest of the day in his apartment, doing what I usually did while I was there without him: nothing. I slept, watched TV, did homework, but time still went by slowly. It was absolute torture.
But when it was finally time for me to head to the hospital, my stomach did flips. We were both breaking the rules by seeing each other, but that wasn't going to stop me. Blake wanted to see me just as much as I wanted to see him, and we were the only two people that mattered at that moment.
Walking inside the hospital was strange. Usually it was so busy and full of people, but now it was almost a ghost town. Everyone in the waiting room was pretty much asleep, and it even seemed like the nurses behind the front desk were half asleep as well. It really would have sucked to work the night shift.
"I'm here to see Blake Solo," I told the different nurse behind the counter, looking around just to make sure no one I knew was around. "I'm his sister... Mia."
I stuttered with the name for a moment, since it took me a second to even think of one. I probably should have already had my alias already figured out, but I was just too worried about getting caught to think about it.
"Oh, okay," the nurse nodded, shooing me away down the hall. I just stared at her for a second because I couldn't believe she actually believed me. Not only did I look nothing like Blake, I stammered over what was supposed to be my name. But whatever, I guess; all that mattered was that I got inside. "Blake's in his regular room."
I nodded, quietly thanking the nurse before turning away and heading down the familiar hallway that I had come to know. It made me not be able to wait to finally have Blake out of the hospital so I'd never have to walk down that hallway ever again.
I didn't even knock on the door once I got to it, since there was no point because Blake knew I was coming. His face lit up when he saw me, and I was sure that mine did the exact same thing. After making sure the door was securely shut, I nearly ran and tackled him right in his bed.
"Right on time," he grinned, glancing at the clock on his nightstand that informed him it was exactly midnight.
I shrugged. "What can I say? I'm punctual."
Blake chuckled, as if he was surprised that I knew what a word like that meant. But I only continued smiling brightly, pulling a chair as close as it could get to the bed and sitting in it.
"You cut your hair," Blake noticed, reaching over and tugging on a short lock.
I laughed, merely shrugging as he continued to play with my hair. "Yeah, it was just becoming too much of a hassle for me. But my hair always grows back really fast, so it'll be back to how it was in no time."
Blake smiled at this as he still tugged on my hair, and it worried me just a little bit. What if he didn't like my hair short? What if he liked it long like it used to be and hated how it was now?
"You like it, don't you?" I had to ask, trying my hardest not to sound worried but failing miserably.
Blake laughed again, finally dropping my hair. "Of course I do, Leah. You're beautiful no matter what."
All I could do was smile at him. I was just so happy that he was finally awake after all this time. He was with me, even if we were in a hospital room. But our setting didn't matter to us. As long as we had each other.
"So, when do you get out?" I had to ask.
Blake smirked at me. "Tomorrow afternoon."
I just stared at him, my eyes completely wide at his answer. But then a thought hit me. "Wait," I began. "Do you mean tomorrow, as in Saturday, which is really today since it's after midnight, or do you mean tomorrow as in Sunday, since it's technically Saturday now?"
Blake just stared at me, as if what I had just asked had hurt his brain. "What?"
"Are you getting out on Saturday or Sunday?"
"... Saturday."
"Okay."
Both of us just couldn't stop smiling at each other. We were just so happy to be back together, and I couldn't believe we had to be split apart just because the people around us thought we were unhealthy together. But as I sat there, right beside him, I hadn't ever felt healthier. I hadn't felt so alive since four months before.
"Come here," Blake ordered, grabbing onto my hand and pulling me up onto the bed with him. The bed was too small for the both of us, so it required us to scoot in closer and practically become one. Not that either of us minded, though.
"I really missed you," I informed me honestly as I snugged into his chest, his familiar scent wafting around me just like it used to. "I missed you so much."
He wrapped his arms around me. "I missed you too, Leah. So much."
We spent the next few hours just talking. Not about anything in particular; just anything and everything, really. I talked about school, my classes, and some of the friends I made. I talked about the school play and how I was still going to try out even though it was a musical and I didn't think I could sing that way. I just filled him in on everything that was happening so he didn't feel like he had missed out on all that much.
Even though, in all honesty, he had. He had missed out on nearly four months of his own life, let alone mine. I felt horrible for him. Even though I lived these four months miserably, at least I still got to live them. Blake was out for a third of a year and there was nothing we could do to get that time back for him.
"I should leave, shouldn't I?" I asked when I saw that it was four in the morning. "You're lucky you woke up on a Friday so that I wouldn't have any school the next day."
Blake shrugged. "Maybe that was all a part of my plan."
I lightly punched him in the arm. "Well, your plan sucks. You should have planned to wake up earlier."
Blake merely rolled his eyes at me, going back to ruffling with my hair. Though I had had it short for a while, it was something brand new to him, and I could tell he was fascinated back it. It almost made me laugh.
"But seriously, Blake," I continued now, even though I loved being in his arms while he played with my hair. "I have to get out of here before morning. It would be really weird if a nurse came in and saw a brother and sister sleeping together."
"It's not like we're doing anything on the bed..."
"But what about if one of our friends or Carrie come inside?" I asked him, ignoring his comment as I sat up and continued on. "Or your dad, or Thomas? They wouldn't exactly think we were planning on staying away from each other if they saw us plastered together on your hospital bed."
Blake suddenly frowned, sitting up along with me. "We never talked about that." I gave him a confused look, so he elaborated. "Staying away from each other."
I found myself frowning as well now. It was something we hadn't talked about yet, even though it probably should have been the first thing we talked about once I came into his room.
"Are we going to stay away from each other?" Blake whispered, sounding so scared that it literally shattered my heart into a million pieces. "Are we... Are we over?"
I reached out, cupping his face in my hands. "Of course we're not over! We're not going to let them break us apart, okay? We're going to stay together, Blake. I'm not going to let you be taken away from me."
Blake sighed. "Well, then what are we going to do?"
I swallowed, not knowing what to say. What would we do? Everyone was against our relationship now. I thought it was bad before, but now it was even worse. At least before we had a few of our friends on our side. Now we had no one.
"We'll keep it a secret," I suddenly suggested the first thing that came to my mind. "We'll just act like we're not dating in public, but then we can still be together when no one's around, like in your apartment."
Blake stayed silent and seemed to think about this idea. I found myself biting the inside of my lip, remembering what happened the last time Blake and I had tried to keep our relationship a secret. That definitely didn't end well, but what choice did we have now?
"Okay," he nodded, a smile finally spreading across his face. "It's the only choice we have, right? I guess we're going to have to go with it for now."
I smiled, leaning forward and wrapping my arms around his neck. His arms snaked around my waist, and it felt so amazing to finally be back in his arms. Holding him felt absolutely amazing, and I never wanted to forget this moment.
"I have to go," I finally whispered in his ear after we both just sat there hugging each other for fifteen minutes straight. "We're both going to get in trouble if we get caught, and then this whole secret relationship will be blown. But I'll be at your apartment tomorrow, alright?"
Blake squeezed me tighter. "Alright."
And even though we didn't want to, we let go of each other and I finally left. And even though I didn't have to, I felt like I was practically sneaking out of the hospital, which was growing busier and busier the closer to morning it got.
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Merry Christmas! :D
I'm going to be gone for the next couple of days because I'm going to be with family, so I decided to stay up late and write this for you guys so I can update something before I go! But while I'm away, I'll be writing on my phone and my iPod.
The voting for the Watty Awards starts soon! Make sure to vote for Our Song in Popular Non-teen Fiction and Ethan Deveraux from Let's Play a Game as Funniest Character! Thanks, guys! :)