I didn't know dealing with a really bad fever was painful.
It was literally crushing my brain, freezing my body, and destroying my senses. It was taking away all my strength. I even felt like I couldn't hold on to Imayoshi-senpai any longer. And it seemed like he knew that because he stopped, set me down for the shortest while, then immediately carried me bridal style.
"Hang on. We're almost there," he cooed, glancing at me worriedly. He was panting. His chest was harshly rising up and down through heavy breathing as he continued making quick, long strides towards our house which was already three blocks away.
He immediately opened the gate then ran towards the porch, impatiently knocking on our front door for a dozen times.
"Are your parents home?" he asked, then knocked impatiently again.
I pondered. My Mom should be. But it had been minutes and nobody was still answering. So I slowly slipped my hand inside my pocket to get my key, giving it to Imayoshi-senpai after. "H-Here."
He opened the door then rushed inside, closing it again using his foot. He went upstairs to my bedroom and gently set me down to my bed, pulling the covers up to my chest.
"How are you feeling?" he asked worriedly, loosening up his tie.
"M-My head is breaking," I answered, still shivering.
"I'll get you some medicine. I'll be back immediately."
"O-Okay."
He was gone in an instant and I was left alone. I turned to my right then closed my eyes, whimpering in pain and shuddering from the cold.
I didn't know but for some reason, I didn't want Imayoshi-senpai to go. I wanted him to be here by my side...
Just like how he'd always been.
***
"Aya. Aya..."
A gentle tug on my shoulder woke me up. I opened my eyes and saw Imayoshi-senpai holding a glass of water and some tablets on the other. He guided me up and handed me the tablets. After swallowing them all, I drank a few gulps of water.
I grimaced in utter disgust. "Bitter."
"If you don't want to eat bitter medicines, then stop getting sick," he preached, placing the glass of water down to the bedside table. He handed me a change of clothes after. "Can you manage on your own?"
"I-I think I can." I removed his blazer which was still wrapped on me then tried unbuttoning my uniform coat, but my trembling fingers didn't have enough strength. I groaned, leaning my back against the headboard. "I'll just change later."
I gasped when his long fingers jerked over the buttons of my blazer, swiftly undoing them one by one. I felt like burning, not because of my fever but because of embarrassment and awkwardness. So before my face could produce real live flames, I immediately held his hands down.
He stopped then glanced at me, opening his eyes. He stared at me for a moment before releasing a heavy sigh. "It's not like I've never seen you naked before."
"We were still in Elementary back then. It's different now," I retorted with force.
He smirked, as if thinking about something mischievous. "It's no different now. It's not like you've grown some mountains there."
I dropped my jaw with what I heard as my eyes instantly landed on my chest. Realizing that he was right, I grunted in annoyance then turned to him again with a glare. "So what? You're like Daiki-kun now? Jeez. Perverts..."
He undid the last button of my shirt then took it off of me, revealing my white bra and naked upper body. Then he grinned again and gave me a teasing stare. "See? You only have great plains here."
"Oh, shut up! You're not funny, onii-chan," I shot back, rolling my eyes.
He froze, and I did too. Damn. I said the word again---the word that had just recently became taboo between the two of us. But he didn't say anything. The awkward silence remained hanging in the air as he helped me wore the clothes he prepared for me. Then after we were done, he guided me back down onto the mattress.
"It's my fault, Aya," he said in a low voice all of a sudden, getting my attention, "I liked you ever since we were little. You were so precious to me so I did everything I could to protect you, guide you, and help you in everything. I wanted to show to you that I care for you and that I treasure you above anyone else. But I didn't realize I was becoming more like a brother to you rather than someone who loves you romantically."
There was so much pain in his voice, so much longing in his bespectacled stare, so much misery in the faint smile that eased up on his lips. I didn't know what to say. Suddenly hearing the truth from him was too much. I just...
I couldn't understand.
Seeing him like this was very painful for me, too.
"I want your image of me as a brother to change, Aya. I want you to see me as me. I love you so much," he added, bringing his hand up to my face to caress my cheek, "But I guess I've gone overboard yesterday. I've said and done too much. I must've confused you, I'm sorry."
Hot tears streamed down to my cheeks as I held his hand and pressed it against my skin even more. My chest was tightening painfully and I couldn't help but cry for him. I wasn't aware of his pain.
"I love you, senpai. I don't want to lose you."
Another sad smile formed on his lips as he squeezed my hand. "I know you do, Aya. But not the same way that I love you."
"Then what are you going to do?"
He pulled his hand away, letting another few seconds to pass before answering, "You know what I'm afraid of, Aya?"
I frowned. "What?"
"Causing you pain," he replied seriously, "But I ended up doing that now. I am giving you so much to think about. I'm sorry..."
We were startled when we heard knocks on our front door. I knew it wasn't my Mom because she had her own key. I pulled myself up in attempt to answer the door but Imayoshi-senpai stopped me.
"That's Sakurai. You said that you need him, so I called him earlier while you were asleep." He stood up then fixed himself, grabbing his blazer and hoisting it over his shoulder. "I want to be with you, but I know you want to be with Sakurai now."
Before he could take a step away, I was fast enough to grab his hand. He turned to me again in surprise. "T-Thank you, Shouichi."
His eyes widened and his mouth fell agape. It even took him a whole good minute to speak and give me a small smile. "Get well soon, Aya."
***
When the door opened again, a panicking Sakurai got in and immediately rushed to my side. He was panting heavily and was drenched in sweat.
"I'm sorry, Aya-chan. I'm sorry, it's all my fault. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm--"
"Ryo, stop." I cut him off, interrupting his I'm Sorry Attack. "It's not your fault that I'm sick, okay?"
He gently placed his palm on my forehead, feeling my fever. "You're still warm. Did you take some pills?"
I nodded my head, giving him a reassuring smile. "I did. Imayoshi-senpai gave me some earlier."
"Thank goodness." He slowly leaned forwards to give me a tight embrace. "I was so worried. I wanted to see you as soon as possible, Aya-chan. I wanted to be the one who took you home, I wanted to do the things Imayoshi-san did for you." His grip tightened and he nuzzled his face against my neck. "I'm sorry I'm so useless. I'm sorry, Aya-chan."
"What are you saying, Ryo? You're not useless." I pushed him a little farther so that I could see his face. My brows furrowed when I saw the tears in his eyes. "Why are you crying?"
"It's just that... I can't help but feel useless whenever Imayoshi-san is around. When you're in trouble, before I could even move a muscle, he's already there and had taken care of the problem for you."
Guilt gushed through me and I didn't know what to say for a minute. "I-I'm sorry, Ryo."
"I'm your boyfriend, Aya-chan." He held my hand and kissed my fingers one by one softly. "So from now on, when there's a problem, I want to be the first one to know and not Imayoshi-san. Okay?"
It struck me. Ryo had always hated losing, but I didn't expect him to act this way. But I could understand him, my connection with Imayoshi-senpai had always been unfair to him.
I nodded my head and smiled. "Yes, Ryo. I promise."
He brightened up then gave me another tight hug. "I love you, Aya-chan."
"I love you too, Ryo," I cooed into his ear.
But my eyes widened when I saw Imayoshi-senpai behind the door. It was ajar so I could clearly see him watching us. He threw me one last look before walking away silently.
Imayoshi-senpai...
----------
I UPDATE THIS BOOK SLOW AS A SNAIL. I'M SO SORRY, GUYS ;'c
BUT THANK YOU FOR READING, FOR THE VOTES, COMMENTS, && EVERYTHING! :)
Vote.Comment.Share.