𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐎𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫
JIMIN
Do you ever feel like God has favourites? Because I do. Ever since I was young, I knew the world was against me in one way or another.
I came from a well-off family. My dad was an accountant, probably one of the smartest people I've ever met in my life. My mother was a designer that had people travelling from anywhere and everywhere for her to design them new garments. Every dress or suit would be tailor-made to perfection and would reflect her tremendous love for art. I guess my father gave me my intelligence and my mother gave me my nimble fingers.
With such loving parents, I didn't expect to be where I was today. I didn't think my parents would ever give me up at such a young age and throw me in an orphanage, but that's just how shit goes down, I guess.
I was ashamed, so much so that not even my closest friends knew the truth about me. I told everyone a different story, afraid that they'd ask questions or discover just how dark my past really was. It's funny because every now and then I start to believe my lies, but reality catches up with people like me and reminds them of what they truly are.
Scum.
I've lived my life as the boy my parents thought I was. They thought I was evil, so I became evil. They thought I was violent, so I became violent. They thought I was selfish, so I'd take and take until my victims had nothing left to give. It worked well for a long time, but then I met Namjoon who saw the fake facade. It sickened me that someone saw right through me. I lost all the control I'd built when I met him, someone else was there to take care of me for once and I revelled in it.
But there was always going to be that pain that was installed deep within me. Just because I could be vulnerable around Namjoon or Tae or Auntie, doesn't mean I could just discard that side of me that desired control.
I created the game. I lured Tae and Jungkook into it for more of a challenge because I'm fucked up and I wanted to hurt people. I wanted to inflict the pain I felt on the inside on someone else, and where better to do that than in the bedroom - It was my outlet. Girls threw themselves at me every day so why not make the most out of it - they were easy prey.
Don't get me twisted though, I'm not a rapist and I try not to fully tear these girls to shreds, there's still some humanity left inside me, but I needed my control back and the only way I would get that was by seeing someone drop to their knees in front of me. I wanted to see them flinch at my touch, cower at my body looming over theirs - but still beg for more.
It worked well, until her.
I didn't think it would ever happen. I didn't think I'd ever be so fascinated with a girl that I'd give up the chance to fuck her for my best friend. I never thought I could be so selfless.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw those vibrant viridescent ones that entranced me every time I dared to look at her. I saw those soft plump lips stained with wine, pressing against mine. That gorgeous hair that cascaded down her back, brushing against her fever-some skin. She was magnificent, but what killed me most, was that she was just as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside.
I saw a lot myself in her, though. I saw trauma, pain, abandonment and worst of all, death, but she fought it every day like me. I often wished the ground would just swallow me up so that I'd be gone in a blink of an eye, forgotten, just a tiny blip in the universe - but not since she came along. Since her, I was given an objective and that objective was to protect her for the rest of my aching existence.
She deserved so much more than what was already laid out for her. She deserved kindness, support, respect, spontaneity, thrill. She deserved to perform her art in front of thousands of people and be admired, but most of all, she deserved unconditional love.
The girl that had popped up out of the blue on that memorable New Year's Eve, had forever changed my life.
And that's why I had to give her up.
People like me don't end up with girls like her. People like me end up alone as they watch everyone around them fall in love and grow old together. I could never give her what she wanted because I could never give her what she fundamentally needed - Love.
If anyone could, it would be Jungkook. Jungkook's love would be the thing to fix her and I would stand back and be her guardian angel for the rest of time. For she had reminded me of the person I truly was and not what people expected me to be
***
NAMJOON
"Please tell me you have something useful!" I pleaded, sighing down the phone. I had been on edge the whole morning waiting for Ji-ho's call.
Watching her at the table the other day drove me insane. The way she looked so fondly at Jimin, her emerald eyes twinkling. The way her lips curved into a small smile and cheeks blushed a rosy pink. She was going to hurt them all.
"She barely told me anything bro! But whatever's happened to her, it's not good. She's definitely suicidal, that girl's damaged as fuck," Ji-ho replied, his voice deep and thoughtful.
"So, you're telling me you found out nothing... at all. You just saw what we all saw when we first met her? Aren't you supposed to be the best in the country or something?" I was trying to refrain from ripping into him.
"Calm down, I'm not completely useless. I found out a few things actually. Let's see, her family's dead, she's prone to panic attacks... and she's a Gemini," he threw back, seeming pleased.
He was pushing me over the line. What the fuck do I do with that information? Torturing her with her dead family wasn't going to draw her away from Jungkook and it's quite blatant that she's the type to have panic attacks. That feverish nature, her quivering hands and stuttered speech were all signs of anxiety. It doesn't take a genius to work that out.
"Anything else? Please, anything," I begged, becoming more and more frustrated as the seconds went by.
"Well, she did bring up one other thing that was interesting..." Ji-ho added, his deep baritone being replaced with a devilish rasp, "an ex-boyfriend."
I closed my eyes and pressed my thumb and forefinger against my nose bridge, trying to remain calm. I swear to God, I'm not recommending this guy to anyone ever again.
"Ji-ho, I'm trying hard right now not to send my guys over to kill you," I growled, my voice echoing on the other end of the line. "I already know who Kai is, he was a shit boyfriend, blah blah blah."
"But do you know the ins and outs of the situation?" I could hear the snarky tone rise in his voice as if he was about to prove me wrong.
"Go on..."
"Well, according to Miss Mae, he destroyed her life. She followed him to a club and walked in on him fucking a girl." Okay, so he had sparked my interest. "She said some other things about him being manipulative, so my guess is that he cheated on her over and over again and she just accepted it... Until she didn't obviously. She said she dumped him in front of all his friends and moved all of her things out of his apartment."
"Interesting," I whispered. Jin had only told me they had a rocky relationship.
"I don't know if you can use any of that, but it seems like he really fucked her up. I doubt she'll be tolerant of cheating after going through it endlessly like that."
"Oh no, I can use that, don't you worry," I said softly, already coming up with a plan in my head.
"I don't think it'll be easy though. Seems like she's smitten with Jungkook, you should have seen the smile on her face when she said his name. It even made me believe in love," Ji-ho chuckled.
"IT'S NOT LOVE! IT'S INFATUATION, SHE'S DAMAGED AND SHE WILL DAMAGE HIM TOO!" I yelled, hearing a gasp on the other end of the line that made me compose myself. "He's the only one that has a chance at a happy ending, I won't let her drag him down. Her hearts not truly with his."
"Ah, you're talking about Jimin. Yeah, I thought it was weird when I told her to picture a safe place and she picked the theatre Jimin bought for her." Ji-ho added, not realising what he had just given away.
"What theatre?" I growled.
"She said Jimin bought her a theatre?"
She had these guys wrapped around her little finger.
Mae Nova, your fate is sealed.
***
I walked into Platinum that night, for the fiftieth time this year. I was always Johnny's biggest fan because, unlike every other gentleman's club, he played good music, had fast servers and obedient girls. I made it my New Year's Eve tradition to go there despite all the boys hating it. According to them, the girls were boring and predictable, however, I found the modesty applaudable. There was something about Platinum's girls that was refreshing; I have no interest in slutty girls, whoring it about in skimpy outfits and eight-inch heels. Believe me when I tell you there's nothing sexier than a classic woman.
Looking over to my usual booth, it was filled with all my friends except one. I sauntered over with my hands in my pockets, ignoring the needy stares from girls on the dance floor. I was almost there but had to stop halfway as I caught someone in the corner of my eye.
Pressed up against the wall, head thrown back in pleasure, was little Nova in all her glory. I never disregarded her beauty; she was truly stunning and that's why she got so much attention from guys. Her work uniform fit her snuggly, making her assets protrude out of her dress. Her skin was dyed red from the overhead LED lights and it looked magnificent on her. She looked like the devil in disguise and she definitely had the doe-eyed man, laughing down at her, under her wicked spell.
Jungkook's arms were wrapped around her tiny waist, pulling her closer to him and she fought weakly to scurry away and do her job. She looked like she was on the top of the world every time Jungkook used barely any strength to pull her back to his chest.
"Kookie!" She squealed for the last time, taking a deep breath from exhaustion. "I've got tables to clean!"
"Do them later, I want to spend time with my angel," Jungkook cooed, placing a kiss on her bare collarbone.
"I'm not employee of the year every year because I slack off, Mr Jeon," she scolded, her sensual voice carrying over to me as she slightly moaned.
I tried to fight it, but it was too late. Her tone had coated my senses, making my trousers tighten as all I could think about was my name rolling off her tongue in the same way. I imagined her petite body under mine as she let out breathless moans and squirmed in pleasure at my hands dominating her.
"NAMJOON, BRO!" Hobi bellowed over the music, snapping me out of my trance. "WE'RE GONNA ORDER SHOTS, BRO!"
I pushed my hair out of my face, trying to relax after what just happened, and strolled towards the booth. If I wasn't overly self-aware, I could have sworn that girl was a siren or something.
"Where's Jimin?" I asked, trying not to look so guilty.
"He's not coming," Tae answered, shrugging his shoulders.
Now, why would Jiminie not be using this as an excuse to seduce Nova some more? It's the perfect setting; it has the memories of their first meet and that inappropriate dance they shared. He never shied away before. This was odd.
I jumped as Jungkook's body bumped against mine as he slipped into the booth. He had that annoying cocky grin plastered across his face like the first time he lost his virginity. It pissed me off that he was so happy with someone so wrong for him.
"Nova's bringing some tequila shots over for us!" Jungkook sang, making everyone cheer.
Whilst everyone was busy chanting Nova's name, waiting for the said drinks, Jungkook turned his body to face me.
"Hyung, she's so much better! When I picked her up earlier, she was practically bouncing! She hasn't shutup all afternoon, I think Dr Jeong really helped her!" He exclaimed, his eyes round and eager, making me cringe.
She's so much better, I repeated over and over again in my head, the words jarring me every time. She wasn't supposed to be getting better, she was supposed to be spiralling and revealing all her secrets.
"Yeah... that's great JK." I was lying through my teeth; knowing I had to hide my distaste for my plan to work.
"Isn't it! Once she's better maybe we can have a chance at a normal relationship. Maybe we could get married!" He gasped as if he had just come up with the greatest idea in the world.
I didn't realise how much those words would make me panic.
"You're way too young to be thinking about marriage Kookie," I warned sternly, trying to come up with a quick excuse to draw him from the topic, "you have your life ahead of you. You're twenty-three, at your age I was still finding myself."
He cooed, looking over at Nova who was trying not to fall over whilst walking with our drinks, "yeah, but I want to find myself with her. I love her."
But does she love you?
"Tequila shots for you fine gentlemen," Nova interrupted, smiling from ear to ear as she put down the glasses around the girl dancing.
I had never seen her smile like that. This was all happening way too quickly; she wasn't supposed to enjoy therapy for fucks sake. He wasn't actually supposed to help her. There was something I didn't know, and I was going to get to the bottom of it.
I watched as her eyes glanced around the table, she was trying to find someone, and I knew who.
"Are you happy to be back at work?" Tae asked her, his cheeks flushing red as if he just asked her a dirty question.
"Yes, back to reality!" She replied chirpily. "Jimin was kind enough to let me take as much time off as I needed, but it's time to get back to business. I'm taking it slow though, starting out bartending then I'll get back to dancing when I'm ready."
I felt Jungkook tense up beside me as she mentioned Jimin's name. I was glad I wasn't the only one who noticed the sweetness in her tone when she said it. She wasn't subtle at all.
"Angel, give me a kiss," Jungkook said abruptly, pulling her attention from Tae whose face screwed up as she dropped her gaze.
These boys and their jealousy...
"Kookie! What's with you tonight?" She whispered, trying to smile away the prying eyes around her. "You're obsessed with me!" She gasped, giggling like a child.
"Okay! Okay! Go and do your work then you little minx," he scolded, slapping her arse and making it jiggle as she walked off.
No one could take their eyes off of her and it sickened me. "Right!" I shouted, catching everyone's attention. "Hobi hyung, what do you have planned for Nova's birthday?"
I couldn't help but smile as the man opposite me's face lit up. I knew how much he loved celebrations and parties; he would have the best idea.
"Well... well... We could throw her a party at Jungkook's?" Hobi recommended, wiggling in his seat.
"I don't think that's Nova's vibe and she doesn't really like my apartment..." Jungkook rejected, scratching his head.
"What is her vibe then Mr Boyfriend?" If this was going to work, I needed as much information about her as possible.
"Well, she's an amazing dancer. She'll probably like somewhere with good music and not too crowded. She might be shy, but not on the dance floor."
"Okay in that case... how about Aura, round the corner?" Hoseok suggested, looking pleased with his idea. "It's got a chill, sexy atmosphere and it's perfect for dancing!"
"The only other club around here is that gentleman's club?" Yoongi questioned, snickering at the thought.
"Yeah..." Jin replied, semi concerned.
They were right. I knew this club, I had been there a few times before and although they had been good nights, it was filled with desperate gold diggers.
"It used to be, but it didn't fit the strip, so they scrapped the women and made it into a normal club. It's Seoul's hot spot; Nova would love it. The music is great and perfect to dance to," Hobi clapped his hands.
I winked at my partner. "Well, that's sorted then. You'd better get planning and give them a ring!"
"Okay cool!" Hoseok handed everyone a shot. "Here's to giving Nova a birthday she'll never forget!" He cheered, tossing his head back with everyone.
She'll certainly remember it.
***
Sorry this is kinda unedited!
What do you think Namjoon's got planned?
I can't ever give Nova a break lmao, poor girl. Her birthdays looking crispy...
Please vote, comment and follow! I love you all so much. If you have any questions I'll be happy to answer.
Lot's of love xx