Esme woke up groggily, in the arms of the man she did not want to be sleeping near. She was craving the presence of his father, and the worst feeling was the guilt that continuously flooded through her chest. Her mind was overthrown with thoughts. She couldn't even fall asleep because of the constant overlapping thoughts that all seemed to come back to Mr.Malfoy. She wanted for it to stop, to leave this unwelcomed feeling and embrace her love for Scorpius. But she couldn't. She was lacking the push to obtain the feelings she once had. She knew she was never going to give up. Her feelings would have to come back sooner or later. She wouldn't let anything take away her focus, she needed to become better, so she could leave. She needed to start a new life, and in the end, she would have to leave the man who saved her from three godawful years.
Another large wave of guilt hit her body all over again. She hated to see the ones she truly cared about hurt. It destroyed her. She was always putting others before herself. It wasn't the default of human nature, It was just her. It was who she was, and who she was raised to be. It was a trait that just stuck with her through everything. From beginning to now. Probably until the very end, which she assumed was approaching soon.
How many more days of this fake happiness could she endure? It was becoming harder than she could ever imagine. It was tearing her apart, piece by piece. Slowly breaking down all she was trying to keep up. It was soon going to reveal just how broken she has become.
"Breakfast?" Scorpius mumbled in the crook of her neck. She flinched slightly at the sound of his voice, eyes piercing towards the table that had already been set out with breakfast. Fruits and bread covered the table in a beautiful layout. Her stomached growled as she gently unwrapped his arms from around her.
"I'm famished."
Her voice cracked. She didn't take notice of the small tears that escaped and wet her cheeks. Quickly wiping them away, she took a deep breath in, staring at the wall. A permanent frown had taken over her features, but with a single deep breath, she faked a smile, hoping a light would blossom in her eyes to hide all her secrets away from Scorpius. Just for him to believe nothing was wrong. Not that he would notice anyways.
She knew his routine. He would ask to have breakfast with her to make up for all he's done the past weeks. He would ramble on about his job, and she would sit there giving him her full attention. And then her heart would shatter a little more bit as she raised her voice to speak along with him but would be shut down each time as he involved himself in her topic, somehow. She hated it.
She also missed the feeling of Mr.Malfoy's cold touch on her warm hand. Two complete opposites seemingly fit together. Like a collision of two worlds. Fire, the warmth of life. The ignition to it all. He lit her flames that seemed to erupt into something much larger. His touch was a fire that spread through her veins. His persona was affiliated with the feeling of care and compassion. Mr.Malfoy held an endless ambition, which filled his own veins with perseverance. And she was deeply infatuated.
But his cold touch was the complete contrast she had been yearning for. The icy texture of his smooth fingers against her warm flesh was all she ever needed. It was becoming her solace. She knew fire and ice played each other as a game. It was a frenzy between the two. As much as they never wanted to be around each other, they needed one another to survive. Both fire and ice worked together. They were a pair that brought a certain calmness to life. They were a hidden balance.
They aided each other.
And he was aiding her.
Scorpius sat across from her at the table, politely placing the napkin on his lap. She rolled her eyes at his actions. She hated the way he was always tried to impress her with his formality. It was quite annoying.
"I have a business trip." He proposed, breaking the silence as she quietly nibbled on a piece of her peach.
"Another one?"
"I'll be gone for two months."
"Am I just supposed to wait around for you. For two months Scorpius?"
She was angry. Lately, Scorpius had been leaving on all sorts of business trips that made no possible sense for him to be gone that long. She figured it was highly confidential if he could never tell her where he ran off to. Scorpius often said he was dealing with a lot of stress because of the ministry, but he never looked stressed. In fact, she took notice of how calm he seemed to look recently.
His eyes flickered up to hers in anger. "It's a work thing."
"Yeah it always seems to be a work thing."
Scorpius shoved the table slightly, causing it to move against the marble floor and colliding with her stomach. She let out a loud gasp as a painful shock connected with her stomach.
He eyed her, his eyes softening by the slightest. "Are you okay?"
Esme rolled her eyes, completely done with his idiotic actions. His face didn't hold the slightest of remorse. It was like he was faking his sincerity. Almost like he didn't give a crap about shoving a table right into his stomach. Maybe he didn't notice. Yeah, that was it. He was probably busy thinking about work. It was okay.
"Fine." she choked out, looking towards the bathroom.
"Hey,Hey, Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to shove the table that hard Esme."
So he did notice.
He hesitantly walked towards her, and she took a step back, recoiling from his touch. He shot her another angered looking before storming up to her.
"I'm okay."
He took a step closer, and she sucked in a breath looking up into his blue eyes. Raising his left hand, she closed her eyes, flinching again. She only peeled them open when she heard the sound of his feet shuffle backwards.
"You thought I was going to hit you?"
"Wha- N-"
"Your unbelievable, what's gotten into you Esme. What happened to the girl I used to know?"
She released the breath she was holding in, taking a large step away from the wall and towards him. She felt a fire ignite within her bones. She wanted to stand up for herself, to scream and yell at him for being so godamn self-centred. But then she took notice of the way his eyes flickered over her skinny body in complete disgust. Her mind wandered to the way Mr.Malfoy had eyed her body from last night, the way he made her feel flustered. The way his eyes trailed along with her entire figure, taking in her body that was hidden underneath the blanket.
Maybe he was just as disgusted.
"Yes I am. I'm sorry." She whispered. Her eyes locked on the floor.
He scoffed loudly before marching back up to her. His mouth moved towards her ear. "You should be sorry.".
His voice made her suck in a sob that was bubbling in her throat, ready to burst out. He was right. She was growing to be a sloppy mess. She was a horrible person who needed to put him first. She was being selfish and was putting herself first again. Scorpius was right. He always was.
With that, he moved back slightly, coming face to face with her and then forced his lips against hers. She kissed him back instantly, scared of what would happen if she refused. Her mind was in a complete state of shock. She had never seen him act so ruthless, so uncaring. Did he not care about her anymore?
Was he growing tired of her?
Why was everyone growing tired of her?
This time she knew it was her fault. No other answer bounced into her head. It was pure silence. The only thing remaining was her thoughts violently abusing her, assuring her she was always wrong. That people never wanted to be around her. That she had grown to be a selfish person and would never become better, no matter how much she tried.
He pulled back, stepping away with swollen lips. He glanced at her before mumbling Apparate.
Esme fell to the ground as his pale figure disappeared into the thin air. Load sobs erupted from her throat. She held a hand over her mouth as more tears fell down her cheeks. Her vision became slightly blurry from the amount of water that was being released from her eyes.
His words have hurt her terribly. When did he become so cold? Has she been so consumed with herself she didn't notice the way he changed?
More tears fell down her face, but she wiped them away with her arm, bringing her knees up to her chest and rocking back and forward. The sound of footsteps approached her room, and her hands moved to her face wiping away the tears that were left wet on her skin. She stood up abruptly, hoping the person would continue their walk down the hall rather than stopping at her room.
But she was wrong. When had she ever been right?
The door opened slightly, revealing Mr.Malfoy. Her vision cleared instantly at the sight of him in a black dress shirt, his sleeves rolled up close to his elbows and black dress pants. He wore a pair of glasses that make him look younger. His snow-white skin glistened in the light of her room.
His eyes flickered towards hers, his grey hues narrowing down to where she stood in the middle of the room. He continued to scan her features, his skin turning pale at the sight of sadness in her own brown hues. He walked towards her, and she could smell a hint of vanilla and his strong cologne. She liked his smell. It was reassuring in a certain way. Making her aware of the safety that came with being in his presence.
"Look at me."
His voice created a bursting in her chest, her heart began to flutter with his close proximity. Slowly but hesitantly, she raised her head to meet the sharp features on his face. His eyebrows were furrowed together in confusion. Almost as if he was trying to solve the mystery of her. His tongue darted out from his mouth, licking his lips as his eyes bored down into her sunken gaze.
"Why have you been crying?"
Bloody hell
Her eyes dropped back down towards the floor, nervous to meet his gaze. Her stomach was doing flips as her heart was already pounding quite violently in her chest. She could swear he could hear it as well.
She felt his cool finger gently move under her chin, pushing it up towards his face. Her face heated up, blushing furiously. Her legs shook slightly from underneath her as he caressed her flesh with the slightest movement of his long fingers before his eyes flickered with something else. He took a step back, cautiously watching her with wide eyes.
"Answer me."
Mr. Malfoy's voice was stern, but his eyes remained soft. His features held a concerning look by her long-lasting silence.
"Are you feeling okay?"
"Yes."
She looked back up into his eyes, feeling safe. His hard expression dropped as a small smirk came across his features. "I want to show you something."
She gulped as he took a step forward, scanning her features for any sign of discomfort. Her voice was unwilling to come out. She was at a complete loss of words as he waited for her to speak. Clearing her throat, she blinked at him through her thick eyelashes. "Show me then."
"You have to come with me."
"I can't- um I can't leave the room."
"Who says you can't?"
"I just can't. Not during the day time."
"You came to the ball." he pointed out.
Because of the potion...
His entire persona changed, and she noticed the way his body had turned stiff.
"Mr.Malfoy I-"
Esme felt a slight discomfort rise in her chest. She was ashamed of herself for not being able to leave her room. It seemed utterly pathetic. She felt pathetic. She waited for any sign of disgust to come across his perfectly sculpted face.
Instead, he drew in a large breath, his shoulders lifted, and her eyes snapped down to his hand clenched at his sides, his veins bulging out from his pale skin. Then he released it, eyes softening again.
"I promise you'll be okay. You can close your eyes and I'll guide you where to go."
The first thought that flashed in her mind was the answer yes. She didn't even have to think about it. She wanted to go with him.
Mr.Malfoy was being patient with her. She was intrigued by his curious nature and offer to take her somewhere in the manor. It was a better decision to go than stay locked up in her room in the absence of company. She wanted his company. Draco watched as she processed his words, and her mind flashed with a memory.
The feeling of his hands caressing hers, with a certain softness. The way his sharp features always hid a small kindness merely for her.
His mischievous smirk that only ever revealed around her. The way his silvery hues would stare back into her large brown eyes, making her feel dizzy. He was making her feel things she never knew existed. He valued her. She was beginning to fall into his trap.
"I'll come with you."
The words fell from her lips, and the small smile that faintly played on his lips was then taken over by a cocky grin. His eyes glistened as the sunlight somehow shown into her room at the perfect time. She could see the specks of silver in his eyes, hidden behind a cloudy grey. Her chest rose and fell in anticipation.
"Come here, and close your eyes."
She immediately stepped forward towards him. His scent filled her scenes once again.
He was becoming a drug to her. One that she couldn't help but crave more for. His eyes flickered with another emotion, and he bit down on his lips, creating a burning sensation flame between her legs.
He was her awakening in the midst of surrounding darkness.