The silver charm's surface was smudged, bits of rust outlining the edges, and Celeste's face was barely visible in the reflective material.
The charm depicted a crescent moon in front of a blue and purple swirled night, a few clouds present in the distance.
Celeste smiled faintly, remembering the context in which this necklace was given.
When Celeste was in her second year, she had come to realize the truth about Remus's condition.
She had been doing a fairly good job of sneaking around, checking on him in the Hospital Wing and leaving before he found out.
This time, however, she had failed at doing so, and had fallen asleep with her head on his hospital bed.
When she woke up, she found Remus staring at her, and she couldn't held but blush at the awkwardness of the situation.
"Be careful with those cuts on your face, Remus. Those full moons can be a pain in the butt." Celeste smiled at him, trying to calm the nervous thoughts that she was sure were running through his brain.
She left the hospital in a rush, mentally hitting her head onto a wall.
Celeste was sure that they'd never speak again and he'd think she was weird for the rest of his life.
Boy, was she wrong.
The next day, Remus was on a mission. He was determined to find Celeste.
"Celeste?" The grey-eyed girl turned to look at him, scared of what he'd say.
He handed her a small black box. Inside, there was a gorgeous necklace decorated with a crescent moon.
She looked up at him, confusion clear on her face. "What's this for?"
Remus smiled shyly, digging his hands into his cardigan's pockets. "I know that you've visited me in the hospital wing... more than just this once. I know it's you who leaves the notes outside of my dorm for the classes I miss, and I know that it's you that left those special salves for my cuts."
Celeste gulped.
"And I just wanted to say," He breathed. "Thank you."
"For what?" Celeste was bewildered.
"For not hating me? For helping me? For making sure I was alright when no one else knew?"
Celeste's eyes softened. "Why would I hate you?"
"Because I've always believed that I'm a monster, but I guess I can't be if you barely know me and you wanted to help." Remus fiddled with his thumbs.
She smiled at him, stroking the charm on the necklace with her thumb.
"I just... if you wear that charm, then maybe it'll remind me that the moon can't be that bad, if someone like you is the one wearing it. Maybe if I look at the moon, I'll think of you, and it won't be that scary."
She didn't deserve this gift. She didn't deserve anything Remus had given her, including hope.
Celeste sighed and tucked the charm into her pocket, climbing down the stairs towards the common room.
"Remus?" The brown haired boy's head shot up. He smiled at the sight of her, and Celeste felt her willpower crack just a tiny bit.
No, Celeste thought. I have to do this.
"Can I talk to you?" Celeste bit her lip.
Remus closed his book. "Yeah of course, what's up?"
She was silent for a moment, the only sound in the common room being the crackling fire.
"I'm gonna say this, and I'm gonna try to make it quick."
Remus's heart sank.
"I love being with you, and I love how you make me feel. Somehow you make me happier, kinder, and a better person all around. But-"
Remus cut her off. "Oh no, there's a but."
"But I can't help but feel selfish. It's not fair of me to be in a relationship with you when it's destined to fail. It can't go anywhere, and that's the problem."
Remus's stomach dropped. "Why can't it go anywhere?"
"I don't think you understand how serious a betrothal is, Remus. I legally can't get out of it unless both Kai's parents and my guardian sign it off." Celeste sighed in defeat.
Remus's sadness turned to anger. "Don't even mention his name to me right now."
"Do you think I want this?"
He scoffed. "Maybe you do! Maybe this was your plan all along, so you could be with Rosier!"
"There's no way in hell, Remus! I love you!"
"If you really loved me, then you wouldn't do this."
"This isn't about me! It's about the fact that I can't hurt you anymore than I already have! I cant make you fall more in love with me when there's no chance of this relationship going anywhere."
"Oh, so you're pretend like you're a saint now? This isn't a selfless act, it's actually selfish as fuck. You just want to run away and get married to Rosier and have lots of Rosier children, stop kidding yourself."
Celeste collapsed onto the couch, burying her head in her hands. "Remus, I would never lie about the fact that I love you. But right now, you're being the biggest asshole ever, and I can't even look at you. Do you really think that this is what I want? You know me!"
Remus stood up, an annoyed look on his face. "But do I? Because the Celeste I love wouldn't do that."
"Then maybe you don't know me." Celeste snapped. She got up to leave, but stopped once more before she did.
She pulled out the almost five year old necklace and dropped it in his hands. He looked at her, the cold metal of the necklace in his palm snapping him back into reality, a reality where Celeste wasn't his girlfriend anymore.
"Is this really over?" Remus asked, his voice soft.
The tone of his voice cut all the way into her heart. She wanted to scream, and cry, and run into his arms. She wanted to stay. She wanted to be there with him, and have him hold her and tell her everything would be okay.
But she couldn't.
If she did, she'd be sentencing him to even greater heartbreak, and she couldn't do that to Remus.
Remus, who folded his socks. Who kept chocolate in the pockets of his grandpa sweaters. The same guy who hums while he reads, and makes the world's greatest hot chocolate.
That guy was no longer hers.
And fuck it hurt.
"Goodbye, Remus."
And she was gone. Out of his grasp. Out of reach.
"Well that fucking sucked." Remus said to no one in particular.
-
It had been approximately 13 months since the two had let one another go.
Well, let go is a strong word.
Neither had truly let go of the other.
Remus still stared after Celeste when she walked past him in the hallway.
Celeste still looked longingly at him in Charms class.
The only thing that had remotely changed was their public title, the feelings associated with their 'relationship' were still there, stronger than ever.
Since the two were now in their seventh year at Hogwarts, Celeste had been teaching Herbology part-time. She drowned herself in her work and her studies, trying to keep her mind off of the blue-eyed werewolf she loved so dearly.
The marauders had barely seen Celeste since the breakup, and they missed her like one would miss a limb.
She was always a part of their group, always there to tease Sirius, make fun of James, stand up for Peter, and look out for Remus. But she wasn't anymore. She spent all of her time either studying or with her other friends.
Her friends were becoming very concerned. Celeste had retreated back into the shell that they hadn't seen since her first day at school. The feisty, talkative girl they all knew and loved was nowhere to be found.
"Hey, 'Leste, do you want to come to Hogsmeade with us?" Celeste looked up from her essay and was met with the faces of Lily, Marlene, Emma, Maya, Shelley, and Ella.
"I would, but I have tests to grade and Astronomy homework to be done."
"Come on Celeste! We miss you! All we see of you is in classes and studying!" Emma's eyes were pleading, and she couldn't say no.
"Fine. But if I get in trouble with Dumbledore, I'm blaming it on you six."Celeste chuckled and shook her head.
The girls cheered and clapped, pulling Celeste out of the Great Hall and towards the large doors.
"Since you dragged me here, you owe me candy from Honeydukes!" Celeste laughed, as Marlene agreed to pay for it.
The girls walked down the pathway down to the village, occasionally stopping so Maya could pick flowers. If it wasn't obvious, she was very easily distracted.
The spring air smelled like dew and grass, and Celeste couldn't help but let her mind wander.
It was May 22nd.
102 days until August 31st.
102 days until she would be married.
102 days left of freedom.
102 days before her life fell apart.
Last summer, when Lucius had held a meeting with the Rosier family, Kai had insisted that the wedding be almost immediately after her 18th birthday.
Celeste had remained silent during this conversation. She could barely even think of getting married to that pig without the urge to throw up coming to mind, so planning a date? Picking a color scheme? Out of the question.
In her thoughts, Celeste wasn't paying attention to her surroundings, and she bumped into someone.
Someone who was both the first and the last person she wanted to see.
Remus.
"Sorry." Celeste muttered, pushing past him.
"Don't apologize to me, why don't you go apologize to Rosier. It was probably meant for him anyway." Remus stiffly said.
Both the marauders and the girls had frozen in their tracks.
"I wouldn't talk, Lupin." Celeste spit his name like it left a bad taste on her tongue. "I'm not the one with a P in Herbology because you can't get my help anymore."
"I didn't need your help. I only did it so you would feel like you helped someone. I'm fine without you. In fact, I might be better!"
The marauders didn't dare say a word, for fear of taking sides.
James thought that Remus had a point, but he was biased towards guys with broken hearts.
Sirius thought Celeste was in the right, she just didn't want to hurt him in the long run.
Peter didn't care who was right, he just wanted to get some candy.
Sirius wouldn't tell Remus what he thought, because in the state he was in, who knows how he'd take that.
Celeste and Remus began arguing like crazy.
"You could never stand up for yourself! Grow the fuck up!"
"Yeah well you could never shut up about your stupid plants! Learn to talk about anything else, will you?"
The two's friends all exchanged looks, and all ran off in the direction of Honeydukes, leaving them to argue about everything under the sun.
"Does love always make you that angry?" Marlene asked.
"I think so?" Shelley replied.
"Then keep me out of it."
"Agreed."
a/n
the A N G S T
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ella<3