I came out of the engineering class quickly, not trying to talk to anyone. I thanked Russia without emotion and when he responded, I dashed out of the class. I think my behaviour scared Japan and worried Russia, but I also had a life to think about. I initially came into the class late because I wanted to do something before...I needed to meet somebody. I thought that our meeting would take a five minutes, not longer, but it stretched out into thirty. I was asked by Japan what happened, and I snapped at her very unexpectedly from the amount of irritation I was feeling. I wanted to say sorry afterward, but didn't have the energy. I'll apologise later. What actually happened was I met my grandfather. For me, it was consciously my first time. I haven't seen him for years, the last time was when I was about six months old. When Russia said that he took a class with him, I was surprised and intrigued. I vowed that the next day, I would find him and maybe talk. I couldn't sleep that night and I felt very cheery that morning. I even worked with Russia on an assignment in English. He looked very lost, and seemed to make some stuff up as he went, but I took it in stride. At least he used literary devices, so I didn't press any further. To be honest, the book that we were reading, The Water on the Wood, was very dry, slow paced and primarily focused on feelings and nuance, rather than dialogue and description. I had a feeling that Russia would rather have died than decipher the meaning behind the book. I left the class and throughout the day, I asked my professors if they knew where Mr. German Empire could be found. After my Biology class, Profesor España or Professor Spain showed me where I could find him and walked down with me. He said that he needed to conduct his Spanish class there anyway.
"Alemania," he laughed. "You already know German. Why do you need him?"
"I just...um. I don't know." I shrugged. "I wanted to talk to somebody in German..." I partially lied to him. I didn't want my teacher to connect two and two. Good for me, he didn't press further.
"Ah, I see." He nodded, though in his maple coloured eyes, I could see that he knew I was lying. We walked down to the language hall and he pointed to the hall on the left, and told me to take care.
"Bye!" I thanked him.
"Adios niño." He waved and turned the corner. I tried to slow down by speeding heart and swift feet and I stood behind the open door to the office, doubting myself. I could definitely hear him inside. It was definitely German. I bit my lip and looked inside. The small classroom with a circular table gave off a non threatening feel, while the top of the walls sported heater vents, pulsing warmth into the room. A rectangular desk at the head of the classroom was occupied by a very tall man in a grey suit and white tie. That could only be my grandfather. Though he didn't look particularly old, he was busily copying steps from a 'Computer for Dummies' book and implementing them on the screen. On the desk stood a couple of globe paperweights, some folders, what I guessed was his old war helmet, and a glass of tea. He didn't turn to me yet, but I could see that his black, white and red face looked tired. I carefully stepped into the classroom and quietly knocked on the doorframe. I could clearly hear my heart beating audibly, and the more time I observed him, the faster it became.
"Mmm, ja?" He turned to face me, his eyes the last to turn. After they did, we looked at each other for a long time. He didn't move or speak, but his dark orange gaze travelled all across me. He then craned his neck slowly forward, squinting and his mouth turned into a frown. "Deutschland? Bis..bist du das?"
"Ja. Ich bin es." He looked up at something on the ceiling, sighed loudly and then smiled. I didn't know what to do, so I just stayed silent while he did what he needed. Right at that moment, he was laughing. It was very, very awkward.
"Deutschland! I cannot believe it, you're here! Alive and well!" He finally stood up, in all his height and hugged me. He was probably a bit smaller than USSR, but I became not used to tall people over the last three months. I hugged him back, and had the urge to cry. Did he think I died? Is that what everyone thought? I was very upset for my grandfather, whom probably felt lonely and sad that all of his relatives either left him geographically or life wise.
"Hi grandpa." I stroked his head. He let go of me after two whole minutes and kept patting my shoulder as if he needed proof that I wasn't a ghost of some sort.
"Oh Deutschland, I'm so glad you are here. I thought that I was alone, among people that hate or are terrified of me. It's so nice to talk to someone without superficiality. How are you, how was your life? How is your father?" Uh oh. I think my grandfather might be more unattached from the outside world than I thought. Didn't he know that a world war happened? Or was he too busy doing something else? How can I say 'Well grandpa, it's very sad, but my dad was killed and not only am I depressed about it, but I also live with his consequences and debts. Oh, not to mention we made a world war and killed millions and betrayed someone.' I think it sounded like I was sarcastic in my head, but I explained everything, I would probably break down in tears by the middle.
"Deutschland?"
"Ja?"
"Is...everything all right? You didn't answer my question."
"Grandpa...have you listened to the radio lately?" I asked cautiously.
"Um...no. Should I?"
"I have to tell you that....that Vati...He isn't fine....he's far from fine. He's well....I can't." I couldn't finish my sentence.
"What's wrong? Has he gotten ill?" If only.
"Nein........he's dead. He's dead, grandpa." I choked out. Instead of sadness, my grandfathers face was surprised and a bit annoyed. He still comforted me and said he was sorry, but he wasn't as devastated as a father was to losing his son. After all, a father should never bury his son.
"Hm, I thought he said he was a survivor. So much for that." He muttered to himself. "What did he do? Did he die of disease?"
"No. He started a war. And didn't finish it."
"Typical Drittes Reich. Thinks that he's top of the world. He wanted to go down in history. Serves him right to be miserable." I was utterly shocked by my grandfather's attitude towards this. "I think, child, you are better off without such a horrible influence. Who are you living with now?"
"USSR." I answered curtly.
"Who's that...? Oh, yes, Russian Empire's unruly son. Kind of reminds me of my own. But maybe he's a better father. Not as career obsessed. More of a family person. Good." This was not how I imagined our conversation. He didn't even want to ask what I felt about my father, how I felt about the war or what even happened. Why was he so passive about such a serious topic?
"Um, what happened to you, Grandpa?" I tried to switch subject desperately. "Where were you all this time?"
"Ah, I was at a house of an unexpected ally. I was taking care of my cactus collection and helping your great uncle back to health. Poison gas doesn't really help your lungs, you know."
"Cactus collection?" Those words registered with me. How could he worry about cacti when major world events were happening. Did he know that UN was created? Or that Israel became internationally recognised? Or that I was being tossed from one pair of greedy hands to another, only one of them bothering to take care of me?
"Ja. Me and Austria Hungary sort of ran, well crawled actually to the Far East and found an abandoned house in the Himalayan region. After some time and disguising, we started to converse with the locals, Nepal and Bhutan and some others. They never realised who we were. After that, we went back to the West. Austria Hungary went back to his sons, who give him a comfy life, mind you, and I was caught by Britain, this time begging to accept a post at his new school that he built. The pay is good, and I live a life free from my past's shadow."
"Oh, I see." I said, my voice starting to get hoarse.
"You should get over this death as well." He continued. "Your father was not a good man. You are, as I said before, better off without him." When he finished, he smiled at me once again, and brushed his fingers over my jaw. The urge to peel them off was overwhelming and I even held my hand to grasp them, not yet prying them off my lower face. I didn't exactly expect sympathy towards my father, but I did want somebody to understand what it was like to lose someone you loved but nobody else did. Apparently, my grandfather would rather grow cacti and engage in tea drinking with United Kingdom. I was disappointed and unhappy at the news. "But you can still come to me, Deutschland. I love you, and always will no matter what." With that he kissed me lightly on the cheek.
"Me too." I kissed him back. "Oh. I'm kind of late." I noticed that my class that I was supposed to be in, had already started and was thirty minutes in.
"Do you want me to write you a pass?" He asked me, while rummaging through some folders. "That way you'll have an excuse."
"Danke." I nodded. After he wrote a hastily written note on a pre-printed yellow pass, he handed it to me, stood up and tilted my head up to look up at his face.
"Are you sure you are okay?" He asked again. Even though he felt nothing for his son, he did truly love me like a grandchild. I knew he would, and I was sort of glad that one person loved me for who I am. I did my best to look happy and smiled in response, this time peeling his fingers off my chin.
"Yes. I just have to go." I explained. "I'm kind of anxious."
"Aren't we all." He resumed to his hard backed wooden chair and saw me go. "If you need anything, just come by. I'll be happy to see you!"
"I will. Goodbye." He probably didn't hear my whispered speech, so I left quite dissatisfied up the hall and outside.
"Bye!" He called when I was already halfway down.
"Bye." I said to myself as I opened the door and left the building. I should've brought a jacket with me, since the November cold nipped the air and let all of the students know that it had won over the Autumn's warm touch. The trees around the campus had all lost their leaves and submitted to the wind's arms, letting it push them around. I felt my cheeks grow cold and as soon as I entered the physics and engineering building, I was greeted by the warm air from the vents. Walking down the halls, I heard Luxembourg explaining something to our class. I thought I might've been very late, since our professor was a bit slow on getting started, but usually kept his class going till last minute. I walked in with my head down, examining the hard metal flooring instead of looking up at everyone. Handing Luxembourg the note, I quickly explained my absence.
"Of course." He took me to my group's table, where Japan and Russia were already doing something. At least, Russia was. "I understand."
"Hi Germany!" Japan waved at me. She looked worried and asked me what happened. Her fluffy light purple sweater with some Japanese writing matched the colour of Russia's eyes, which were trained on his work, shifting through the metal on the table.
"I was busy....being disappointed." I muttered. I clenched my jaw and asked Russia to help me, not engaging in conversation with Japan. I could see her shocked face and ears droop in my peripheral vision, but I was too fired up to apologise at the moment. Russia helped me without question, and he never asked me what was going on. I let him guide me through some of the harder steps, and when I understood, he left to help other people, his project already finished and standing next to Japan.
"Thanks Russia." I told him once the class was finished.
"You are welcome." He smiled back. Sensing that he might ask what happened, I packed my things, took my books off the table, and ran out of the class. I could hear Japan running after me, and I doubled back, took a secret route and shortcutted though a hedgerow to avoid her detection.
"GERMANY! WHAT'S WRONG, GERMANY?" I heard her yowl. Ducking behind some pine trees, I observed Russia calmly walking towards Japan and telling her something. I inched closer to hear their conversation.
"What's wrong with him?" She said, scanning the surrounding area.
"I don't know." He replied. "Maybe..." we made eye contact. I gasped audibly, but didn't hide again. Russia squinted at me and nodded slowly.
"I wonder why he's so angry? We should find him."
"No. We shouldn't." He kept his eyes on me the whole time.
"Why not? It seems like what a friend should do."
"Leave the guy alone." Russia tugged at her sleeve. "I think he needs time away from us." With that, he broke the stare and walked on and away with Japan in tow. I sighed in relief and trotted to my college. Finland stuck a note on the dorm door for me, telling me that he will be late and I shouldn't wait for him. He was at a seminar. I unlocked the door and took off my glasses, setting them on the table, before slithering on the floor and laying there, with no desire to move. The floor felt cold and rough on my exposed skin, but that's what I wanted to do. Lay on the ground and do nothing. I thought that I left my stuff outside my room, but I was positive that nobody would steal it. I didn't know how to think of my grandfather. Should I not be mad, since he was basically cut off from the world for almost twenty years? Or should I be skeptical, since those years were spent in a home in the mountains, the only worry to have is that your cacti plants look wilty. I never met my great uncle, but I did hear about him on USSR's radio, where his high pitched and annoying voice was talking about the horrors of war, while he himself was in a villa next to Italian territory with all the comforts and amenities and servants a sickly and fussy old emperor needs. USSR said that he was a king without a crown, but government is messy and dangerous, and sometimes you would give up your rule for a life of pleasure travel, velvet cushions and expensive food. My thoughts were interrupted by a light ping of my phone on the desk. So I did heave my things over the threshold. I groaned and stood up to see the text. I brought the phone closer to my face to read the message. It was from America.
"Hi everybody! How's it going? Just wanted to say that I want to invite y'all for a spot of tea at a café nearby. Anyone up to it? Love and Rainbows."
"Seriously America? Rainbows?" Russia typed out.
"Hey Russi, relax. I'll get you two free drinks. How about that?" America responded in a matter of seconds.
"Good. I'll hold you to that."
"Anyone else?"
"I'LL GO AMERICA!!!!" Japan texted in all caps.
"What?" Iceland said. "I just got my phone from Rus' bag. I totally forgot it yesterday."
"As usual." Japan commented. "You coming?"
"No. I have to make up missing work. I kind of...you know."
"Forgot it?" Japan finished.
"Yeah. Something of the sort."
"Is Germany coming?" America interjected.
"You know...He was super mad when we saw him today." Japan remarked. "He ran away from me and Rus."
"Really? Mad? Like Russia mad?"
"Seriously, you all are the worst. Leave the man be." Russia messaged.
"Like you'd know." America sent an emoji symbol with a knowing face.
"No. I just felt it."
"I'll come." I wrote, and everyone stopped writing for a moment.
"GERMANY! HOW COULD YOU IGNORE MEEEE!!!" Japan was the first to respond. "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU!?"
"I'm sorry, Japan. I was a bit angry at the time. Didn't want to apologise until I calmed down." I told her. "I can explain when we meet."
"That's okay. No need to apologise. I'm just glad you're okay." She sent a smiley face.
"Okay guys. Enough dilly-dally emotiony time. We can discuss that later. Anyone who's coming, meet me at the gate in five." America announced.
"Hours?" Russia asked innocently.
"Minutes, Russ, minutes." With that, he signed off.
"Okay. See you all there." Russia left the chat as well.
"Have a good time, lucky people." Iceland said jealously. Maybe a bit of socialising and voicing my problems would help. I knew I could trust Japan. And I could definitely trust Russia. He showed that he really cared. I think he would be my truest friend, one that gave me space, made me calm and could stand up for me when needed.
Alemania - Germany
Adios niño - goodbye child
Deutschland? Bis..bis du das? - Germany? Is that you?
Ja. Bin es - Yes. It is me.
Kind of a long chapter. My resolution for making shorter chapters isn't working.