Y/N's POV:
The bright daylight poured through my window. The rising sun cast a pink glow over the morning sky. Sunlight's golden fingertips warmed the scene in front of me. The just-raised sun shone glisteningly on the streets of New York as the traffic flowed smoothly below.
The reminiscents of the night before still fresh in my mind.
God, what had gotten into me?
I tossed and turned, throwing the warm blankets off of the bed.
How could I let myself act like that? He was a killer. I shouldn't have been so careless.
I felt weak. I had let myself do what I told myself not to.
Let him get close to me.
I stood up; regret was the only thing that crossed my mind. Walking towards the bathroom, I grabbed a pair of clothes put out for me to put on afterward.
I turned the nozzle to the shower to hot and let it warm up before I stepped in.
The steaming water poured down my back as it relaxed my tense muscles. Just for a moment, I felt relieved.
All the worry and stress rolled off me with the water. I quickly finished cleaning myself up before getting out of the shower.
I grabbed the towel from on top of the sink counter and wrapped it around myself. I walked out of the bathroom, drying myself off and then got dressed. I brushed my hair out, swaying it back and forth to make it less slicked down.
I walked over to the bedroom door, turning it slowly and pulling it open.
My head was turned facing down, not focusing on what was in front of me. I took a step forward before bumping into a hard surface.
"Good morning, lady Y/N. I came to see if you were awake."
"Oh gosh, good morning. I wasn't paying attention. I'm sorry."
I looked up to see him smiling as per usual.
"Everyone is gathered in the main area of this floor. Would you care to join?"
"Uh...Yeah."
I followed him out of the hallway into the living area. As I walked in, a few new people were seated at the table. They looked up at me as I walked to an empty seat beside Tony.
"Sorry to interrupt. Carry on with what you were saying," I said as everyone turned to look at me,
"How are you feeling, kid?" Tony asked in a whisper.
"Better."
Tony then pushed himself up from his seat and began talking to the room. "A few of you may not know that we have a guest here," He said as everyone's eyes turned towards me. "This is Y/N. Y/N meet Wanda, Vision, Sam and so on."
"Thanks, Tony." an irritated voice called out from the far end of the table. "I'm James Rhodes but, everyone calls me Rhodey." he finished eyeing Tony from across the table.
"Oh, Rhodey, I didn't even notice you were here."
"It's nice to meet you guys," I said.
"Are you planning on staying here, Y/N?" I heard Wanda say.
"I'm not sure yet; I'm supposed to be going to my mother's today or tomorrow but, I'd love to stay longer if you guys will have me."
"Oh, for sure. It's always nice to have new people around here. You'll fit in perfectly."
I smiled at her as everyone began discussing what was going on today.
"Okay, everyone listen up," Steve said. "Banner, Clint, Tony, Wanda, Natasha and I headed out today to get information from a lab that we have suspicion to believe belongs to H.Y.D.R.A."
"Why am I not on the list?" a voice called out from the doorway behind me. I knew exactly who it was.
"Bucky, you're not going. We can't risk you falling into the hands of H.Y.D.R.A. We don't have the red notebook yet, and you're still vulnerable. No offence."
"So what am I supposed to do? Just stay here and watch. I'm the only person who has been to any of the H.Y.D.R.A labs. Without me, you guys are practically sitting ducks."
"That's why you're staying here; you're our ears from the outside. We'll all have mics so you can communicate with us."
"So I'm not allowed to go, but Banner can? He's a time bomb seconds from exploding."
"You're not going."
"This is bullshit."
With that, he walked out of the room, curse words mumbling under his breath. Steve was about to follow him when Tony spoke up. "Let him go have his temper tantrum. We need to get ready now," he remarked in a voice loud enough for Bucky to hear as he left the room.
"Thor, you're going with Y/N to her mom's house?" Steve asked.
"Indeed I am."
"Alright then, let's go, everyone."
We all got up from our chairs and left the room, me and Thor behind them.
"Are you ready to go?" I asked him.
"Yes, I am."
I walked with him into the elevator to the first floor. There I grabbed a leather coat that was handed to me by one of Tony's many assistants. We walked outside, where a sleek black limo was parked waiting for us.
"Hi, I'm Happy. I'm going to be your driver for today."
"Ah, nice to meet you, sir. Happy. Now, do you have any refreshments in any of the compartments of this vehicle?"
As Thor found his way to the liquor drawer of the car, I looked around for a phone to call my mother; to tell her we were on our way over.
"Happy, do you mind if I use your phone to call my mom to let her know we're on our way?"
"We've already called her to tell her. "
"Oh... okay."
The ride was short to my house. We didn't live far from the Stark tower, yet I had never heard of it before. We pulled into the driveway, and I immediately opened the car door and ran into the house.
The warm smell of vanilla consumed the air in front of me. It made me feel warm inside. I walked through the house, taking in the details I hadn't noticed until now. I was so glad to be back in my own space. I felt safe here.
"Mom?" I called out, "Are you home?"
"When we called her earlier yesterday afternoon, she was here. She was excited you were coming back." Happy explained behind me. "Maybe she's out shopping."
I climbed up the stairs and into her room. "Mom?" I called out once more.
Where is she?
I walked out of her room and back down the stairs into the kitchen. "That's weird; she's usually always here."
I walked back out the front door and opened the limo. "Thor, get up. My mom's not here."
"Why is that a problem, lady Y/N?"
"Because whenever she leaves the house, she leaves a note or she tells me before she's leaving."
"You haven't been here for weeks, and she wouldn't need to leave a note if you're not here."
"I guess... it's just weird. Well, come inside. We can't sit out here all day."
I helped pull him up from his seat before walking back into the house. It was only 10 in the morning. I didn't need to be worried.
As we sat there switching between watching tv and making food, I began to worry. The hours passed by, and there was no sign of her. It wasn't like her to be late. I knew something was wrong from the second I stepped into the house. It was too quiet.
"Happy, Thor, there's something wrong she's not here; it's been hours."
"I'll call Tony."
On the phone:
Happy: Tony, she's not here
Tony: What do you mean she's not there? Where is she?
Happy: We don't know we've been here for hours, and she hasn't shown.
Tony: Bring Y/N and Thor back here, and we'll figure out where Mrs no-show is.
"Come on, guys, we're going back to the tower."
"What about my mom? Where is she?"
"We don't know we're trying to figure that out."
"Lady Y/N, everything will be alright." Thor smiled.
"I hope," I said as I got back into the limo. We drove back to the stark tower, once again, my thoughts were overcome by my subconscious. I was worried and stressed. What if the same men who took me took my mom? I didn't know if they were torturing her or if she was already dead. What if she couldn't handle them.
Thoughts and what-ifs flooded my mind.
We pulled up to the Stark Tower and got out of the limo. We walked into the building and into the elevator. It felt like forever before we finally reached the right floor. As soon as the doors opened, I raced towards Tony.
"Tony, where is she?"
"Woah, calm down and hold on a sec. We're pulling up satellite footage from your mom's house yesterday after we called her. It should be on the big screen... now."
I turned towards the big screen in front of the couch. The tape played for a few seconds before a black van pulled into the driveway. As soon as the men stepped out of the car, my stomach turned. I could feel my heart pounding through my chest like someone was trying to wrench it out.
They picked the lock on my door and let themselves in. She was helpless and alone. I had left her and didn't bother checking in on her. Now she was gone. I watched as they pulled her fighting body out of the doorway and into the car. I turned away from the screen as tears threatened to fall from my eyes.
Blinking them back and pulling myself together, "How do we help her? How do we find her?" I demanded.
"Y/N they took her to H.Y.D.R.A lab we were trying to get into today. There's no way to get in without being outnumbered. There are guards at every entrance, soldiers upon soldiers inside with weapons we can't identify at the moment, and we picked up small mines spread throughout the area. We can't get to her without risking her life."
"So what do we do? Just sit here and wait for them to just let her go!?"
"We're gonna send 2 people to stake out from an abandoned building to note everything we can about the guards and the lab. Unfortunately, Clint is injured from the mission and Wanda, and Vision's assistance is needed somewhere else at the moment. Which is all very convenient for us, isn't it." he finished sarcastically.
"I want to be one of the people staking out."
"This is too personal for you. I don't think you should do it."
"Tony, come on. Are you serious? I need to be there. That's my mom."
"Okay... Okay fine. I'll find someone to go with you."
Just then, right as he finished speaking, the one person I was hoping wouldn't hear include himself did exactly the opposite.
"I'll go with her," Bucky called out.
"Are you serious!? No Manchurian Candidate. Were you not in the right mind this morning when Cap and myself told you specifically you couldn't go."
"Tony, you and I both know that I need to go. I know it best, and it'll take half the time if I go. I'm more familiar with the equipment they use, and I'm her best bet at protection."
"I'll get Banner or Cap to go with her."
"Banner would kill her in the process of trying to defend her, and Cap is needed here. I'll go."
"Why don't we ask Y/N? Huh? Seeing as she's the one who will have to put up with you."
Fuck.
"I guess it's fine if no one else can go but, ONLY if no one else can go."
I looked up at Thor to see if he wanted to engage in the conversation, but not a single word left his mouth.
Great. Just great.
"When do we leave?"
*****************
As we straightened out the mission's details, Tony was busy preparing a party for Happy's birthday party. He took every chance he could to invite people over and drink.
Bucky and I would be leaving the next morning for the day-long trip to the lab, and I needed something to take my mind off it.
I went back to my room, where a beautiful blue dress had been laid out on the bed for me with a note that read:
Try and have a little fun- Tony.
I smiled lightly at the message before heading to the bathroom to get dressed. I put my hair into curlers I had found in the sink drawers before putting on a little makeup. I took my clothes off and slipped into the dress paired with heels. I took my hair from the rollers and took one last look in the mirror before heading to the party.
The music played loudly as guests arrived and introduced themselves. I walked over to a few groups and introduced myself before making my way through the now largely forming crowd to the bar.
Natasha was behind the bar, making Steve a drink as I sat down beside him. They gave each other a look as she got out from behind the bar and left.
"I heard about your mission tomorrow. How do you feel about that?" he said.
"I'm worried, I...I don't know what they've done to her. If I could go today, I would."
"I'm sure everything will be fine. How do you feel about going with Bucky?"
"At this point, I could care less who I'm going with. I just want to find her, but if it had been a couple of days ago, I probably would've asked to go with someone else."
Silence filled the air around us as we both sat.
"I know this may sound weird but, would you like to dance with me?"
"Oh... sure."
"Alright."
He held out his hand for me to grab onto it as he pulled me away into the crowd.
His hand slid down to my waist as he pulled me closer. Over his shoulder, I could see Bucky standing at the top of the stairs. He wore a black suit, and his hair was a little ruffled in the front.
I brought myself back to dancing with Steve and pushed past any thought of Bucky.
He was fun to dance with. He wasn't the best dancer, but he still knew how to take my mind off of everything else going around.
We danced for what seemed like forever until both our bodies were tired—mostly mine.
"Do you want to get a drink?" he tried to yell over the loud music.
"I'd love to."
As he guided me off the dance floor, I couldn't help but look back at Bucky. Just as I did, he looked my way. Our eyes locked on each other for a split second before I turned away from him.
I hurried to the counter and grabbed the first shot on the table, downing it as fast as I could—the warm liquid burning my throat as it slid down. I tried to shake away the burning sensation as I took another and shot it back.
"Was my dancing really that bad?" I heard Steve say from beside me.
"Oh god, no. No, your dancing is great. I'm just trying to relax the only way that seems possible."
"Ah."
I turned to look again at the stairs but he was gone. A sigh of relief washed over me as the weight that had been so heavy on my shoulder all night started to lighten.
I was growing tired, and I decided to head to my room.
"Goodnight, Steve."
"Can I walk you to your room?
"No I think I'll be fine thank you," I said giving him a small peck on the cheek.
I walked out into the hall and into my room. I slipped out of the dress and got into bed, not bothering to take off my makeup.
The alcohol had kicked in, and I was in no mood to say or do something I'd regret the next day.
**********
"Y/N, it's time to go," Bucky said as we finished packing 2 backpacks full of the things we would need for the mission.
"I'm coming."
We headed into one of Tony's trucks and began driving. The trip would take us 5 hours to get there, and we decided to leave at 2. Bucky and Tony had been arguing the entire morning before we began packing, which put leaving off for a few hours.
The drive was long and slow. I napped for most of it, and the other half, I kept my eyes shut, hoping that Bucky wouldn't try to talk to me. I wasn't looking forward to having an awkward small talk.
When we finally arrived, Bucky woke me up from my nap by lightly shaking my shoulder.
"We're here."
I got up and jumped out of the back of the truck before grabbing my bag and putting it on. After he grabbed his from the truck it left.
And then we were alone.
We walked in silence until we reached the entrance of the abandoned building. It was tall and large. The grey paint was chipping off, and the doors were slowly falling off their hinges.
Perfect.
We walked inside; glass was scattered across the floor, and tables and chairs had been turned over. Cobwebs hung on the ceiling and in every corner of each room.
I stepped carefully around the decaying carpets and made my way up the stairs.
"Be careful," he said from behind me.
"I'll be fine."
We continued up the many flights of stairs since the elevators were too old and rusted to work. We walked up hundreds of flights of stairs until we finally reached high enough to see the lab.
It was surrounded by barbed wire, and I could see cars driving in and out of the gate. I walked down the hallway through every room, trying to find a bed that hadn't been torn to shreds or covered in mould.
There were only two beds at the end of each hallway that wasn't completely ruined.
"I'll take this bed. Do you want to take the one at the end of the hall?"
"Yeah."
I pushed the door as it creaked open. The lock was broken, and the doorknob was rusted. The windows were stuck open, allowing the cold breeze to flow through the room. I walked into the bathroom covered in mould and animal feces.
As I walked out of the bathroom and into the room, Bucky was already there looking out the window.
"Hey."
"Hey."
I walked over to him and stood beside him as we both turned towards the lab.
"How long were you there for?"
"50 years."
"Wow. What was it like."
"It's not something I really want to talk about."
"Yeah, no, that's okay. I get it."
I walked back over to the bed and took out some of the bag's supplies, placing them onto the desk at the end of the bed.
I stopped and turned to him.
"Do you think they're hurting her?"
"I do. I think they'll stop at nothing to get what they want, and if she isn't giving them what they want, then they'll do whatever they feel necessary."
"I just hope we can get to her in time."
"Me too."
"I'm gonna head downstairs and take a walk."
He nodded as I left the room and made it down the 100 flights back down the stairs. The hotel was practically breaking apart, and I was scared that I could fall through the stairs at any moment.
I made it to the bottom and out the door walking along the jagged pieces of concrete that had been turned up in the ground. There wasn't a single sign of animals or plant's insight. The only noise I could hear was the faint sound of car engines coming from the lab.
I walked around a bit before turning back around. I was worried and tired and needed to sleep some of it off.
I then climbed back up the flights of stairs to the floor we were on.
I walked down the hall to see Bucky already in bed asleep. I walked back to my room and threw the covers off the bed, placing a blanket from inside my backpack onto it. I took another and placed it over myself, huddled in a ball to keep warm from the cold.
I tossed and turned for what seemed like hours until finally, I fell asleep.
I woke up back in the Stark Tower. I got up from the bed and walked over to the door, slowly opening it. I could hear voices coming from the kitchen, and this time, I knew who they were.
It was my mother and my father. I couldn't hear what they were saying, so I crept closer to the doorway out of their gaze. When I turned my head carefully around the corner, I could hear them talking.
"They'll....her....why would you let that happen?"
It was the only words I could hear.
I moved in the door frame and crouched down to the floor and under the pool table. When I looked up at the table, my father had a gun in his hands rested on his thigh. He slowly lifted it from underneath the table, and just as I ran out to warn my mom.
He shot her.
Her lifeless body lay on the ground as the tears streamed down my face.
I jumped out of bed as soon as I woke up. I looked at a watch I had brought with me. 1:30 am was the time.
I was drenched in sweat with my hair plastered against my face and neck.
I changed and got back into the bed, trying to fall back asleep, but I couldn't.
I was afraid. I was shaking uncontrollably as I pulled the covers over my head. I knew that I couldn't get any sleep from my own room, and I knew my only other option. I was going to have to stay the night with him.
I pulled the covers off of me and made my way down the hall stopping every few steps from his room thinking and re think what I was doing.
I made it to the end of the hallway and into his room. His eyes were closed as he lay there fast asleep. I debated waking him up or not. He seemed so peaceful as he slept.
Y/N, just sleep on the floor and go back to your room before he wakes up; that's another option.
No.
The floor is probably infested with diseases you couldn't pronounce and bugs you don't know.
I had probably done a 180 spin on the spot about 30 times before I finally decided to ask him.
"Bucky..." I whispered.
No answer.
Oh, God.
I walked over and shook him a little before calling out once more. "Bucky?"
He groaned before slowly opening his eyes. When he saw me in front of him, he jolted up, worried.
"Y/N, what's wrong?"
"I...Jeez this is going to sound like I'm 5 but I can't sleep. You were sleeping so peacefully I shouldn't have come and waken you."
"No its okay."
"Can I stay with you?"
"Yeah... you can. Are you alright with it though I don't want you to if you're uncomfortable."
"No I'm not uncomfortable just a little shaken up."
He opened the covers and let me get inside. The covers were surprisingly warm and cozy. I felt comforted.
I felt safe.
We laid there in silence both facing the ceiling.
"Why were you shaken up?"
"I had a nightmare again. The same thing as last time except my father was the one who shot my mother. I don't know why I'm having these similar nightmares. I just want them to stop." I said turning to face him.
He stayed facing the ceiling as he said "I get it."
His jawline now visible as the moon shone in through the window. His eyes were still open and his chest rising and falling slowly with each breath. As many times as the small voice in my head told me to look away I couldn't.
I couldn't stop looking at him.
Taking in his every feature.
He turned over facing away from me and I did the same.
There it was again, silence.
My eyes opened and closed as I drifted in and out of sleep until finally passing out.
Before my dream could even begin I was awoken again; this time by the sound of Bucky yelling as he tossed and turned vigorously in the bed.
"Bucky! Bucky! Wake up!" I said shaking him awake.
His forehead began to sweat as he woke up from his nightmare. I placed my hands on either sides of his cheek. "Hey, you're okay it was a nightmare."
He placed his hand against my arms as his breath began to steady again. My stomach fluttered at his touch. That was when I realized I was practically on top of his chest. I tried to move but he continued to hold my arms.
I took that as a sign to place my head on his chest as he pulled me closer to him.
"What was you're nightmare about?"
"We were trying to get into the lab and... you were a bit ahead of me when you got taken by them. They made me sit and watch as they tortured you. I couldn't take it I tried to break free and then I woke up."
"I'm okay and you're okay so there's nothing to worry about now. I'm safe with you."
I kept my head agaisnt his chest as he placed his arm around me. I could feel his abs underneath his shirt as I placed my arm around his core. His warm breath fanned agaisnt my forehead as he began falling asleep. His arm tightened around me as he placed his chin to the top of my head.
I couldn't begin to describe what I was feeling. My stomach was turning up and down as my heart pounded in my chest but my mind was telling me to leave. The only thing I could let out was,
"Please don't leave."
"I won't."
**********
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