July 2nd, 2018・Jai
I woke up, glancing at the alarm clock, which read eight-thirty in the morning. Pretty early for a Saturday, but I couldn't sleep anyways. Elle had already gotten out of bed, she was probably in the kitchen making breakfast. I opened the door, expecting light noise, but was met with silence. I looked around, wandering over to the fridge. I pulled out a carton of milk and closed the door, seeing Elle's figure hurry to the door.
"Elle? Where are you going?" I mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.
"Jai!" She said, jumping. For a second, there was surprise on her face, before it quickly turned to an unamused expression. She cleared her throat. "You're awake."
"Yeah, I am. Where are you going this early on a Friday?"
"Just hitting the gym."
"I thought your sessions were only Monday through Thursday."
"Cade thought a little early yoga with the group would be fun."
"With that much makeup? Won't it run?"
"Someone suggested we go out for brunch later, and I wouldn't have any time to come home and get ready again."
"Didn't you say last week that your yoga buddies were going to a beach retreat today, but you couldn't join because of your friend's event?"
"God, could you just stop being so paranoid? Just because I said they were going doesn't mean everyone went!" She sneered before glaring at me one last time, slamming the door on her way out. I stared at the door for a minute after she left, eventually grabbing my coffee mug from the machine, pouring milk into it, letting my mind drift. Elle and I, somehow finding our way back to each other. Elle and I, arguing countless times. Elle and I, lying to each other over and over again. Elle and I, still together, wondering which one of us is going to end it and when. I set down my empty mug in the sink and walked to the shower.
The open textbook in front of the practice guide pulled up on my computer stared back at me. I had my finals in less than a week, and I couldn't score higher than a 60. Studying wasn't really working out for me either. I sighed, running a hand over my face. I'll figure something out eventually. I pulled on a black t-shirt with my worn out jeans, running a hand through my hair. At least I managed to accomplish one thing today, and that was getting dressed. So far, so good. I walked out to the kitchen, opening the cabinets looking for my cereal. We were all out. I shrugged, already looking for my keys. Going to buy some more would give me something to do and take my mind off of my finals.
I pushed a cart through aisles surrounded by tall shelves filled with food. I paused, glancing down at the scrap of paper clutched in my hand, a sad excuse of a grocery list. Cereal, tomatoes, spinach, and ice cream, because I needed at least one thing to look forward to coming home. I pulled a cardboard box off the shelf, tossing it into the cart. I looked up, seeing an unmistakably familiar face. I rushed forward, turning the corner into another section of the supermarket. I scanned the room, looking for her, but she was gone. Defeated, I pushed the cart back towards the cashier, wondering if she was really there in the first place.
"Jai, are you ready yet?" Elle called from the bedroom, the soft tinkling of her jewelry mixing with her voice. I stood up from the sofa, grabbing my phone on the way to the door.
"Yeah, I am. Are you?" I responded, shuffling through drawers looking for the keys.
Her heels made a heavy clicking sound as she walked closer, grabbing her purse and opening the front door. "Let's go."
We pulled into the entrance of the hotel, and I got out to open the door for Elle. I dropped the keys in the hands of the boy manning the valet stand, and I held my arm out for her. She took it, giving me a tight smile before leading us inside. Once we entered the ballroom, Elle let go of my arm before striding across to some other girls in the corner, excitedly waving and embracing each of them. I sighed, shuffling over to the table overflowing with food, using a pair of chopsticks to put pieces of sushi on my plate.
"Sorry, excuse me, thank you..." A voice mumbled behind me, growing closer and closer. "Hey, could I just-- thanks..." A hand stacked with gold bracelets that clinked together at the slightest movement moved to grab the same piece I wanted.
"Oh, sorry." I said, drawing back and turning to leave the line.
"No, it's fine. You can..."
"You!" I said, louder than I should have.
She glared at me, frozen, before finally speaking. "...Let's go somewhere else."
"So..." She sucked her teeth, rubbing her hand up and down her arm.
"Hi." I said, flashing her a grin. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms in response
"I remember you. You were the guy on the college tour."
"Yours truly."
"Tell me, are you still as much of a flirt now as you were then?"
I shrugged. "What do you think?"
She paused, thoughtful. Her eyes darted around my face, before settling back into a serious expression. "You've grown up a bit, but yes."
"I'll take it. So what have you been up to?"
"You know... finishing school. I actually ended up going to--"
"Seriously?"
"Mhm. And now I'm studying investigative journalism. And you?"
"Majored in engineering, out of state. I'm doing computer science at Berkley now."
"You're not gonna like hearing this, but that's so predictable." She said, the corners of her lips tilting up into a faint smile. "Also, I have an important question. What's your name?"
"Don't tell me you forgot, Anaya." I grinned again before heading back to a table.
A few minutes later, she joined me with her own plate and stared at me. "Jai."
"How'd you remember?"
"I asked Elle." She said, calmly chewing on a piece. "I didn't know you two are still together." She said, glancing to the side long enough to hide an expression of slight guilt.
I sighed, running a hand through my face. " I don't know if you would even say we're together, to be honest."
"What do you mean?"
"We got back together after our senior year of undergrad, for some reason. But neither of us is taking it seriously. We're both wondering when the other's going to break it off."
"So end it. Isn't that the smartest thing to do instead of waiting for the same thing?"
"Yes, but I can't do it. I don't want to be the reason our relationship ends again."
"Oh. I... I'm sorry."
"It's fine. You're right, I know that. But I'm not sure if I want that."
She stood up, scanned the room, and held out a hand. She smiled, cocking her head to the side. "Would you mind accompanying me to the restroom? It's a big hotel, and I'd hate to get lost."
"Hold on, hold on. You're telling me that you actually managed to get a giant thong on the horse statue on campus?"
"They still don't know who did it." I said, taking a sip of whiskey, barely hiding my smile.
"Wow. Ok, my turn." Anaya said, wobbling slightly after reaching forward for her glass. I snatched it away, steading her before she slipped. "I think you've had enough. We probably shouldn't be drinking this much, anyway, considering we're sitting on a balcony ledge five stories up." I said, setting my own glass down.
"When the hell did you become so responsible?" She said, smirking.
"When you almost fell 70 feet. And you still say 'hell' a lot, don't you?"
"Hell." She laughed harder, tossing her head back. "Whatever. What was I saying? Yeah, my craziest story..." She paused, taking a sip of water before continuing. "My craziest story is getting married soon." She laughed. "I just can't believe something this big is happening so soon. But I think, I think it means that everything is coming together now. It means stability."
"That's really nice."
"But what if I just don't want to settle down now? What if I'm not ready? Who's to say that I want something beyond stability? What if wanting something more passionate than stable isn't wrong?" She said, slowly breathing harder and harder. She looked at me, confused and worried. "Am I doing the right thing?" She whispered.
"Hey." I took her wrist, forcing her to look at me. "Anaya, breathe. First, there's nothing wrong in taking more time to settle down. 23 is, in my opinion, pretty young. We're still figuring ourselves out. And second, you don't need to have this stuff planned out. It's okay to want to explore other things." I said gently.
She stared at her shoes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. I lifted her chin up, and I felt a sudden need to kiss her. I leaned in, closing my eyes.
"I'm still engaged, Jai." Anaya said, standing up and brushing her dress. "Thanks for the advice. I hope you and Elle work things out."
I took a sip of my whiskey, running a hand through my face. I screwed up. Again.
"Anaya! An-- sorry, excuse me. Anaya!" I was back downstairs, pushing through crowds of people looking for her.
"Jai, there you are! Come on, I wanted to introduce you to my friend, the one getting engaged." Elle appeared out of seemingly nowhere, pulling me toward the front of the ballroom. She gestured to a couple surrounded by people either shaking their hands or smothering them in hugs. The man next to her was tall, wearing a traditional gold sherwani suit. Next to him stood a girl with a sheet of long, straight hair and an elaborate gold lehenga skirt. She turned, a wide smile plastered on her face, faltering between each hug.
"Hi guys, congratulations! Oh my gosh, I'm just so happy for you two, you make the perfect pair!" Elle gushed, hugging the girl tightly and shaking the guy's hand. "Jai, this is Rohan and I'm sure you remember Anaya. They're the ones getting married next week!"
I blinked, reorienting myself before breaking into a smile. "Congratulations, both of you." I said, shaking Rohan's hand. I looked at Anaya, her eyes trained at the wall behind me.
Of everything that could have happened tonight, this was the last thing I expected.