how it feels to be alive {tom...

By fairiesandfeathers

340K 12.6K 8.3K

It has been 20 years since the Battle of Hogwarts. Lucia is conflicted in her life, and even more so when she... More

how it feels to be alive
playlist
one: sweat
two: coffee
three: immortal
four: towel
five: lacy
six: alone
seven: war
eight: singing
nine: wish
ten: goosebumps
eleven: confrontation
twelve: movie
thirteen: feelings
fourteen: tension*
fifteen: fling
sixteen: clouds
seventeen: stoned
eighteen: touristy
nineteen: persuasive*
twenty: morality
twenty-one: irrevocably
twenty-two: polyjuice
twenty-three: borgin
twenty-four: damsel
twenty-five: ecstasy
twenty-six: magnolia
twenty-seven: comfort
twenty-eight: emptiness
twenty-nine: aching
thirty: hogwarts
thirty-one: desire*
thirty-two: rosier
thirty-three: joint
thirty-four: first day
thirty-five: victoire
thirty-six: lord
thirty-seven: detention
thirty-eight: fast fingers
thirty-nine: sober
forty: slughorn
forty-one: jealousy
forty-two: emeralds*
forty-three: change
forty-four: light and dark
forty-five: halloween
forty-six: kinky
forty-seven: dirty
forty-eight: hangover
forty-nine: unfixable
fifty: foreign territory
fifty-one: cruelty
fifty-two: déjà vu
fifty-three: reparations
fifty-five: nail polish
fifty-six: christmas
fifty-seven: love
fifty-eight: new years karma*
fifty-nine: erratic
sixty: rehab
sixty-one: released
sixty-two: reunited
sixty-three: graduation
sixty-four: expensive wine*
sixty-five: importance of occlumency
sixty-six: the pensieve
epilogue part one: soporific
epilogue part two: voldemort
epilogue part three: alive
thank you & final author's note

fifty-four: tongue*

3.4K 123 181
By fairiesandfeathers

TONGUE

The day that followed the incident with Tobias was a Saturday, and Lucia spent most of the morning rolling around the deep blue sheets of her bed as she drifted in and out of sleep.

It had been a restless nights sleep, but she wouldn't have expected anything less than that after such an eventful day.

After overthinking it a ridiculous amount, she had come to the conclusion she had forgiven Tom. She herself lost control sometimes too, and he really had done it with her best interest in mind. He just didn't understand that wasn't how she wanted him to support her.

Lucia had definitely missed breakfast in the Great Hall, and lunchtime was fast approaching. He stomach ached with hunger, but the lack of motivation to get up overpowered it. She often went through phases like this during particularly stressful periods of time, and usually would just sleep it out until it passed.

She heard someone enter the dorm room, and assumed it must have been one of her roommates so she ignored it. It was only when the curtain around her four poster opened slightly that she saw a head of dark curls looking down at her.

"What are you doing in here? McGonagall would kill you." Lucia grumbled, laying her arm across her eyes to shield them from the bright light entering through the gap in the curtains.

"I think she already wants to kill me if I'm completely honest." Tom chuckled, slipping inside the curtains to sit beside Lucia who was still lying down, hands full with something in his grasp.

He placed a plate in front of her, and held out a mug of coffee he had brought up, "Eat." He insisted.

Lucia wriggled up to sit beside Tom and looked at what he'd brought her, seeing a small stack of pancakes with fruit and syrup sitting in front of her.

"Like we had back at the hotel? Tom, you didn't have to do this." Lucia wrapped her arms around his shoulders, taking the coffee in her hand and placing a light kiss on his cheek, "Thank you."

"I didn't see you at breakfast, so I figured you deserved something you'd like." Tom shrugged, placing a hand on her thigh and tracing circles on it with his thumb.

Lucia gave him another appreciative smile before beginning to eat.

When she had finished, Tom took her hands to drag her out of bed to get dressed. She rolled her eyes but allowed him to take off her oversized t-shirt and stepped into the jeans he held out for her.

When she was successfully dressed in a pair of loose blue jeans and a thick, knitted jumper, Tom pulled her to the bathroom and leant on the door while she brushed her hair, teeth and washed her face quite reluctantly.

"Come, let's go for a walk." Tom insisted as Lucia began to move back to her bed as if it were magnetised. He laced his fingers in hers and pulled her towards the door to leave the dorm.

She grumbled a bit in protest, but after shoving a couple of essentials into her pocket, she allowed him to drag her out of the castle and into the grounds.

It was another cold day considering they were approaching the second half of December. Lucia wrapped her arms around herself to shield her from the cold wind, but kind of enjoyed the icy air whipping her still half asleep face.

"Everyone is going to be going home for the Christmas holidays soon." Tom observed as they passed the whomping willow, watching it shake off the droplets of dew that had settled on its branches.

"Not us." Lucia chuckled, "I suppose it will be nice to have some time without as many people around."

"I spent most of my Christmas breaks here in my time at Hogwarts, it really is pleasant with the castle mostly to yourself." Tom commented, watching Lucia kick a small rock with her worn black combat boots.

"New Year's too." Lucia added, recalling the many messy New Year's Eve nights she had spent in previous years.

"I've never really cared for New Year's Eve." Tom said in a bored kind of tone.

"Why not?" Lucia furrowed her eyebrows, there really wasn't much about New Year's not to be liked, unless you were really introverted she supposed.

"It's my birthday." Tom chuckled, looking up at Lucia.

She stopped walking and grabbed Tom's arm to stop him too, "What the fuck, why didn't you tell me?"

"I've never been fond of my birthday, I believe it a very frivolous muggle tradition, and rather dimwitted to celebrate such a mundane event." He shrugged, beginning to walk again, and Lucia followed.

"Fair enough, but at least for my pleasure let me celebrate it with you." Lucia gave those hopeful eyes he couldn't decline.

"Nothing even remotely excessive or involving anyone else." Tom reasoned.

"Deal." Lucia smiled, her mood lifted exponentially already compared to the morning. From her pocket, she pulled out a lighter and tin containing a rolled joint, which she brought to her lips and lit with a deep inhalation.

The smoke swirled around her lungs for a moment before she blew it into the fresh outside air. She offered it to him, but he declined with a wave of his hand so Lucia brought it back to her own lips to take another drag.

"You know, a Professor could see you." Tom reasoned judgementally.

"Fuck off Head Boy." Lucia teased playfully, "And anyway, McGonagall knows from the amount of times I've been in her office for it. To be honest I think she's kind of started turning a blind eye to it."

"I don't like you relying on it." Tom commented dryly.

"We've had this conversation too many times." Lucia sighed, blowing smoke up into the sky in short puffs.

"Because no matter how many times we do, you still do it." Tom defended, tensing his jaw in irritation.

"This is how I've always been Tom, I'm not going to change at this point." Lucia laughed, smoke coming through her mouth and nose.

"Isn't there anything else you can use to cope?" Tom shook his head in disapproval.

"You don't want to know." Lucia smirked.

"Yes I do." Tom raised his eyebrows.

"Sex."

The corner of Tom's lips turned up slightly, "Drugs and sex?"

Lucia shrugged with an innocent smile.

Tom reached for the joint she'd brought to her lips, snatching it from her and dropping it to the ground. Lucia gasped in anger when he brought his foot to put out the half finished joint, but looked at him in confusion when he grasped her wrist in his hand and pulled her toward the castle.

When they reached the moderately concealed space under a swirling staircase, Tom pushed Lucia into the stone wall and instantly pressed his body against hers.

warning: very mature content

His mouth found the skin of her neck that was cold from the brisk wind, the skin slowly warming under his tongue. He began sliding his equally cold hands beneath her jumper and around the warm skin of her hips, causing her to squirm from the contrast in temperature.

"Tell me to stop and I will, but I know I can make you feel better than any drug ever will." Tom growled into her ear as he rolled his hips against hers teasingly.

Lucia closed her eyes as his hand came up to massage her breast, having not worn a bra under her knit.

"Say something." Tom insisted as he pinched her nipple suddenly, making her jerk against him and bring her lip between her teeth.

"You're like actual fucking heroin." Lucia breathed as he rolled his hips to grind against her again.

Tom's other hand snaked up to grasp her throat so she stayed looking at him, "Then next time you feel like getting high, you come to me, yeah?"

"Mhm." Lucia managed as he brought his hands down to begin fumbling with the button to her jeans, undoing it and sliding down the zipper.

"Now I wish I had of got you a skirt to wear." Tom huffed as he slid his fingers down her pants to touch her outside of her underwear. He moved them in a circular motion as he brought his mouth to meet hers in a fervent kiss, brushing his tongue against her lip so she would grant him further access into her mouth.

Lucia was almost panting already from his gentle assault with his hand down her jeans, but she wanted more. She brought her hand to begin to palm him over his pants, toying with his waistband and zipper.

Tom chuckled into her mouth and brought his hand out of her jeans to pull them down her legs.

The brief thought that maybe this wasn't a good idea under the stairwell where anyone could walk past crossed her mind, but she pushed it away quickly as she stepped out from the jeans and tossed them to the side with her foot.

Tom reconnected their lips as he unbuckled his pants and freed his length from the tight constrains of his boxers. He stroked himself a couple of times as Lucia laced her fingers in his curls.

"Fuck me." Lucia groaned as he seemed to hesitate, and she brought a leg up to wrap around him.

Tom grasped her thigh and pulled her up so that both legs wrapped around his waist and she was held up by him against the cold stone wall.

Moving her thin underwear to the side, Tom used one hand to drag his tip against her, arousal coating the head as he pressed it gently against her entrance teasingly. She bit down on her lip to stop herself from cursing at the ecstasy already pulsing through her veins.

"You have to be quiet, my darling." He whispered, allowing his lips to brush her ear. He brought his mouth to the sensitive skin below her ear and bit down lightly as he pushed into her in one deep stroke.

Her hands tightened in his hair, but she fought making a sound any louder than a sharp intake of breath.

He brought his head back to look her in the eye, checking to see she was alright. Her lip was between her teeth and her eyes were closed as she forced herself to keep quiet as a maintained pressure was applied to her g-spot as he stayed buried deep inside of her for a moment.

"I want you to look at me when I fuck you, Lucia." Tom said in a tone that resembled how one would scold a child, "This is for you, so I need to see how it makes you feel."

She fluttered her eyes open to meet his intense gaze, his eyes were so dark and full of lust as he stayed pressed completely inside her to the hilt.

Her heartbeat was so rapid from the way he was looking at her. It was a hungry expression with so much intensity that it almost scared her a bit.

Her pupils dilated under his gaze, causing his mouth to pull into a smirk. It was only then that he pulled back out before slamming his hips back against hers, beginning a hard rhythm that had her biting her lip so hard she thought it might bleed.

Her back rubbed painfully against the stone with each thrust, but it only added to the overwhelming pleasure coursing though her.

Tom's hand came down between them to rub against her clit, causing her to arch her back into his chest. He was analysing her every response to his movements, finding that a hard and fast pace with the stimulation of his fingers had her practically shaking already.

"I would do this to you every second of every day if it meant you wouldn't keep being self destructive." Tom spoke intensely, pressing their foreheads together as he continued to push himself into her.

Lucia let out a quiet and breathy moan in response, every cell in her body invigorated and alive in a high that no drug could ever give her.

Tom brought his lips back to Lucia's neck as his hand came back up to the sides of her throat. He applied pressure with his fingers, cutting off some of the blood flow to her head.

"Fucking hell." She whispered as that dizzying wave of lightheaded pleasure clouded her head, making everything just that bit more sensitive.

Tom's head was buried in her neck as she pulled at his curls for relief from the intense pleasure bubbling through her.

Lucia looked up from Tom's shoulder, and had to do a double take as she met the eyes of none other that Tobias Crouch.

He was still covered in dressings where the deep wounds had been inflicted, and from the potions and essences in his grasp it appeared he had just been returning from the hospital wing.

Tobias was looking at her with an expression of upmost hatred, "You are such a whore." He mouthed silently so Tom wouldn't realise his presence, shaking his head slowly in disapproval.

"So what?" She mouthed back, bringing her lip between her teeth and closing her eyes briefly in pleasure and leaning back, before opening them again to meet Tobias' gaze again with a smirk.

Lucia hadn't even realised her release was creeping up on her until her whole body tensed around Tom. She pulled his hair hard, unable to fight the moan that passed from her lips as she felt herself pulsing relentlessly around him.

Tobias' eyes went wide at the sight of her coming down from her high, and she quickly pushed herself from Tom who gave her a confused expression, but when she dropped to her knees in front of him he relaxed.

Lucia engulfed Tom's length in her mouth, pushing to her limit as she allowed him to grasp her hair and fuck her throat to chase his release.

"I'm close, my love." Tom said in a raspy voice.

Lucia pulled him from her mouth and began pumping him quickly with her hand, stretching her tongue out from her mouth and lining his head up with it.

"Fucking hell." Tom gasped at the sight of her kneeling before him with her mouth open to take his release, "I'm going to..."

He didn't get to finish his sentence before he was pushed over the edge, releasing onto her tongue in hot spurts.

When Tom began to come, she allowed her gaze to flick briefly to Tobias, who was almost in a trance, completely still. His eyes were fixed on her open mouth as she took Tom's release, swallowing hard when it came to an end before licking any remaining droplets from his tip.

Tom let go of his grasp on her hair with a deep exhalation, holding her hands to pull her back up from her knees to a standing position. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled to her into him, her back pressing back against the wall as they both came down from their highs and steadied their breathing.

When Lucia allowed her gaze over his shoulder to drift back to where Tobias was standing, he was gone.

author's note

oops sorry if you don't like exhibitionism but I'm kinda broken so I find it hot lol

long chapter bc I didn't want to break it up, but I hope you enjoyed! we haven't had smut in a while and I know lots of you like it so I decided to do some this chapter.

this was more intense than some of the other smut we've had I think so if you're not comfortable with it I'm sorry! I know some of you are young so pls remember this is more intense than most real life scenarios, especially when you're not super experienced

anyways, thanks for all the love <3

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