"my mind is complicated,
find it hard to rearrange it,
but i'll have to find a way some how.
overreacting lately"
—
"Hey Jackson" I said dropping my bag at the front door and flopping onto the couch beside him where he was playing video games. He glanced down at me and smiled before returning to the tv in front of him.
"Hey Ty" Jackson replied. I heard the door close and Jaeden chuckle at the scene of my sprawled out on the couch, before walking over.
"Tyler," Jaeden said in a sing-song voice from behind me.
"What?" I grumbled, watching Jackson's video game.
"Time for science" he replied grabbing my foot and gently pulling me towards him.
"Ew" I replied, draping my arm over my face and getting into a more comfortable position on the couch. I heard jaeden chuckle before I felt someone's arms snake under my legs and back, before suddenly lifting me off the couch. I laughed as I realized I Jaeden had fully picked me up as if I was a baby.
"Time for science" he grinned, setting me down.
"For fucks sake" I said rolling my eyes, but walking to grab my bag that I had carelessly discarded nonetheless.
"I heard that!" Jackson exclaimed.
"Sorry bud. Just pretend you didn't okay?" I said smiling.
"Not a chance" he replied grinning as he glanced back at me.
"Shit" I mumbled, slinging the backpack over my shoulder.
"Heard that one too!" Jackson laughed loudly.
"You know what let's go do some science homework before I teach your brother more swear words" I said to Jaeden, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the stairs.
"Probably a good idea" he replied grinning. Jaeden's phone kept vibrating as we walked upstairs and he grabbed it out of his pocket to check the notifications.
"Ty" Jackson called from the living room.
"Yeah what's up" I replied, turning towards the small boy. "I'm going to Noah's house soon so if my Mom comes home can you tell her that's where I am"
"Yeah of course" I replied smiling at Jackson. "Have fun!"
"Thanks T" he said turning the Tv off putting his shoes on "See ya! Bye Jaeden" Jackson said as he pulled his sweater on.
I glanced behind me when Jaeden didn't respond right away and noticed that he was staring at his phone with his eyebrows furrowed.
"Jaeden" I called. His head snapped up to meet my gaze. "What?"
"Jacksons leaving to go to Noahs. He said bye to you" I said, tiling my head slightly. Jaeden seemed a bit out of it and I wasn't sure why.
"Oh sorry. Bye Jackson, have a good time" he said in a louder voice so that Jackson could hear him from across the room.
"Bye Jae" he replied before walking out the door and closing it behind him. "Everything good?" I asked, turning back to Jaeden.
"Yup" he replied with a smile, slipping his phone back into his pocket.
Jaedens phone vibrated from where he had thown it onto his bed. He flipped it over and read whatever was displayed in the screen before sighing and turning it off again.
"Who was that?" I questioned. I really didn't want to invade his privacy but it was getting almost comical at this point. The amount of times his phone had buzzed the past couple minutes was starting to become weird. "It's Lilia" Jaeden said, glancing up at me.
He was sprawled across his bed, his brown hair ruffled up from running his hands through it. A light glow washed over his features, highlighting his jaw and adding a glimmer to his dark green eyes. I furrowed my eyebrows as I looked up at him from where I sat on the floor, my back leaning on his bed.
"Why is she texting you so much?" I asked, a bit confused. "I don't know" Jaeden replied sighing. My confusion only deepend at his words. "She's been texting you nonstop for the last 30 minutes and you don't know what it's about?" I asked, trying to keep my tone light, though my thoughts were swirling. Jaeden shrugged, rolling onto his side so he could actually look at me. "I don't know. Just look at them I guess" "Are you sure?" I asked. "Go for it" Jaeden said grabbing his phone and giving it too me. "Okay" I said, still quite confused. I took the phone from him and put in his password to check the texts. I scanned over the messages and they didn't make me feel any better.
Lilia
Hey Jae how are you!
Jaeden
i'm good you?
Lilia
i'm pretty good! haven't seen you in so long!!
Jaeden
yeah it's been a while
lilia
yeah it sucks. you've been playing so much soccer!
Jaeden
soccer been super fun. we have so many games!
lilia
that's awesome. i was wondering if you wanted to hangout sometime?
jaeden
yeah maybe. i'm pretty busy right now though
lilia
well it would be so much fun
we could go to that one restaurant we had our first date at! haven't gone there in a while
jaeden
yeah not sure when i'd have time
but that was definitely a good restaurant!
lilia
whenever you're free next we should definitely go! i miss youuuuuu
I looked back up at Jaeden to see him biting his lip anxiously, his gaze searching my face. "Why is she still texting you?" I asked, trying not to sound accusing.
"I don't know" Jaeden replied. "Does she know we are dating? Because it doesn't really seem like it from these texts" I said running a hand through my hair before locking his phone and giving it back to him. He shrugged again.
"It was really random she just started texting me again today for no reason" Jaeden replied. I tried not to get angry but I couldn't help the little coils of jealousy that grew inside my chest like weeds in a beautiful garden.
"Maybe if you told her we were dating she would back off a bit" I mumbled, the words coming out a bit harsher than intended. "I'm just trying to be nice okay" Jaeden replied defensively, shoving his phone into his pocket.
"Yeah but you don't have to keep texting her when she's obviously interested in you more than just a friend" I said, getting annoyed that Jaeden hadn't just stopped it right away.
"Did you see me flirting back Ty?" Jaeden exclaimed, starting to get frustrated. He sat up from where he had been laying on his bed, the light from the window casting a strange shadow onto his usually smiling face, now slightly wrinkled because of his furrowed brow.
"I know you weren't trying to but it easily could have come across like that to her!" I replied, standing up so I could see him better, instead of having to look up from where I had previously been on the floor.
"So am I just not allowed to have friends that are girls now?" Jaeden said as he stood up out of frustration.
"That's not at all what i'm saying!" I replied loudly, pinching my eyes closed for a couple seconds before opening them again. "It's just that she obviously doesn't want to just be a friend, we both know that, it's pretty fucking obvious."
"Well sorry that i'm trying to be nice! What the fuck am I supposed to do?" Jaeden exclaimed.
"Maybe don't lead her on?" I said, gesturing around in the general area of his phone. "And tell her that we are dating so she doesn't tell you that she misses you and shit"
"You're overreacting Ty it's not like i was going to actually go on a date with her or anything!" Jaeden said, frustration bubbling into his voice.
"That's not the fucking point Jae! I know you're not going to do that! I trust you and I know you are just trying to be nice to her but sometimes you just have to be straightforward" I exclaimed, my voice getting calmer towards the end of my sentence. "I know you didn't mean anything by it. I know that. But it still kinda fucking hurt. I really really don't want to be that annoying jealous girlfriend that doesn't let you talk to any girls. I don't want to be like that, but it's hard when I see girls like Lilia obviously trying to flirt with my boyfriend." I said, running my hands through my hair in frustration.
But this time the frustration wasn't directed at Jaeden. It was at myself. "I'm sorry" I said sitting down on Jaeden's bed. "Fuck. Sorry"
The thoughts of Nick and my fights swirled in my head the second Jaeden had started getting annoyed and all my frustration about myself and things that had been happening in the past weeks had found a target. I knew that Jaeden would never do anything close to what Nick did to me, but it was still hard to not try and push him to see if he would. Maybe, I thought, if he hit me I could prove to myself that I was the fuck up my mom had always told me I was. But of course he didn't. And of course I felt like shit that I would even think that.
Jaeden sighed, looking at me with a new expression that I couldn't really place. He opened his arms and steped towards me cautiously, as if i was a skittish animal that could run away at any second. I tried to smile as I opened my arms and he wrapped me in a warm hug. It dropped off my face the second he couldn't see me, my insecurities and habit to overthink everything tugging the smile away harshly.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell her that I had a girlfriend right away, that was my bad. I didn't really think about how you would feel looking at those texts." Jaeden mumbled into my shoulder. "If the same thing was happening with you and another guy I would definitely have been jealous" I laughed lightly closing my eyes and laying my cheek against his shoulder.
"I'm sorry for reacting like that. I shouldn't have yelled. That was so uncalled for. I'm just so annoyed with the whole Jack situation and how I literally never see him any more. I think I took a bit of that out on you" I replied, pulling back so I could look at him.
Jack had been acting really distant the past couple weeks and it had started to get to me. I missed my best friend to be honest. He didn't really seem like he cared about me anymore, ever since he got back with Lexi for the hundredth time. I was glad that they were spending more time together but I was almost worried for Jack. I've never liked Lexi and I knew that it was pretty obvious to both of them but it was because I never thought she treated him right. It doesn't really matter now though, he likes her a lot. I have to let him figure it out even if he keeps blowing me off and acting kinda bitchy every time I try and talk to him.
Jaeden pressed his forehead to mine, lifting me out of my thoughts, a soft smile dancing across his face. "It's okay. I know how hard its been for you with Jack pulling all that stupid shit and not even answering you anymore. But can we agree no more fights?" he said sticking up his pinky. I laughed, putting my pinky finger beside his and interlocked them.
"You're so cheesy, pinky promises?" I said as he clasped both his hands behind my neck and looked down at me with a grin.
"You liked it, don't even try to deny it" Jaeden replied cheekily.
"Oh fuck off" I said, unable to keep the smile off my face as I swatted his arms that rested on my shoulders. He just smiled even wider, before leaning down to kiss me.
—
still- niall horan
+
hi.
i've been gone for forever but i was reading some comments and you guys are actually adorable.
pls all of u lets b friends.
i'm going to try and write more cuz i love you guys to the moon and back.
also thankyou for 1k votes that's crazy
lots of love
-t🦕