The second my eyes open, I know I'm fucked. And not the good kind.
Zack finishes changing his shirt and catches my eye opening before I can close it and pretend like I'm still sleeping. Still, I give it my best shot, closing my eyes and not moving a muscle.
"Amelia, how stupid do you think I am?" he says.
Cringing, I open my eyes and sit up. "Sorry. Can I brush my teeth?" If I'm gonna get chewed out, the least I could do is not have morning breath.
He blinks. "Fine. Hurry."
I find my toothbrush in his bathroom and brush slowly to give myself time to try and recollect my memories of last night. Specifically, the part where I passed out. I can't remember anything. It's as empty as my head during a test.
He hands me a glass of water as I walk out and brings his chair in front of the bed. We sit across from each other in silence. It feels like I'm being punished. I probably am.
I force a smile. "Have you been working out lately? You look really-"
"Nice try," he interrupts then sighs. "Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm okay"
"How much of last night do you remember?"
I press my lips together. "Most of it."
"Amelia, you have to know your limits."
"I do know my limits." I just chose to pass them.
"Obviously not," he snaps. He exhales. "Did you know those guys you were with?"
"No. Katy met them that night. I didn't want to hang out with them but they kept hanging onto Mia and I was just trying to watch over her."
"He hit you, Amelia! What would've happened if I hadn't come?"
I look at him. "I'm fine, Zack."
"Fine, Amelia?" His voice raises. "I get there and some random guy you don't know has you in an alley and fucking slaps you. You were so drunk, you were lying on the floor passed out. Do you know how scary that shit is?"
"I was irresponsible," I say. "But it's not my fault that some guy hit me."
"You need to be safer."
"I'm sorry. I was having a rough day. It happens."
"So you went out and drank until you passed out?" he says. "Wh-" He breathes, trying to calm down. "What's going on?"
"Nothing!"
"Don't lie to me, Amelia."
"Really," I say strongly. "I am fine. I just wanted... I wanted one night to let go."
He waits. "Let go of what?"
I pause, contemplating how much to tell him. How much more to worry him. "I failed my midterm."
"That's what this is about?" he asks.
A couple of seconds pass by before I add, "If I don't bring it up, I'll lose my scholarship."
He waits for me to continue as I stare down at my fingers. A minute passes. Then another.
"And... my parents threatened to cut me off. They've been on and off with me about it but... I think they're serious."
His brows furrow. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asks.
"I don't want to worry you. And I... I made you choose Michigan over your dream school so we could be together but now I might get kicked out." An emotionless smile forms on my lips. "Funny, isn't it?"
"Amelia," he says. "You didn't make me choose anything. It's not even a fucking choice. I can't imagine my life without you."
I bite on my lip to stop it from quivering. "Ugh, why can't you just be an asshole so I don't feel so guilty?" I mean it as a joke but it comes out serious.
"If this happens again, I will be," he says, looking at me in the eyes so I understand. "If anyone touches you again, I won't hold back."
I shake my head. "You shouldn't have punched that guy."
"That's the one regret of the night you have?" Zack says.
"You have to be more careful. You have a career on the line. People are watching you. What he did wasn't okay but you can't just hit people any time you're mad at them."
His eyes flash. "What kind of guy would just sit there and let some asshole put his hands on his girl?"
"I know you did it to protect me but I just worry about you going too far. I don't want you to risk anything else for me."
"Then don't try to protect me," he says. "Don't keep everything to yourself because you think it'll burden me. Amelia... " He looks me straight in the eyes. "I'll always be there if you need me."
I lean forward, throwing my arms around him and hiding my face in him. His heartbeat is sturdy against his chest.
"It won't happen again," I whisper. "I just... I've been having a hard time and... " He grips me tighter and I feel myself exhale. The words barely come out. "I don't know what I'm doing."
"We'll figure it out together," he says. "And if I have to get a job-"
"No," I say, pulling away. "This is why I didn't want to tell you. I'll take care of it."
"Don't push me away." He grips my hands tighter, stopping me from moving away. "Worry me. Use me. I don't care. I'm always here for you, okay? You're not alone."
My lips part and I nod. Reaching out, I wrap my arms around him and close my eyes.
I'm not alone.
A/N: you are not alone ily :)