This is a song one shot (song fic). The song is called: Be Nice To Me
I would advise maybe reading it and then listening and reading again or just listen while you read? I don't know it's a short song so it will probably take you longer to read than to listen, just do whatever you'd like! You don't even have to listen if you don't want to lol! This one shot alternates in between time, memories, and POVs, after every bold word. Hope you enjoy!
I feel the cold rain drops drip down my face and soak my clothes, or are those tears? I'm not really sure anymore.
I just know that I'm cold.
I stand on the sandy beach as I stare out towards the sea, towards my home... just out of reach...
always out of reach... I speak out to the lonely waters, I don't really have anyone else to talk to anymore...
"I've got boulders on my shoulders... collarbones begin to crack...
there is very little left of me and it's never coming back..."
I don't know if Dream will return today after he blew up Logstedshire...
but then again I don't really know a lot of things anymore.
I don't really know why I'm exiled, I don't know what I did to deserve any of this, I don't know why people aren't coming to visit me, why my father.. my brother.... why Tubbo isn't coming to visit me, I don't know when the last time I was happy was, or the last time I laughed...
I just know that I am so, so
cold
I stand outside my home... my real home. I'm trying to tell him, to explain to Tubbo how I'm feeling, why I grieved George's house. That with losing my brother and all the wars and all the violence... that I wasn't okay...
that I've never been okay.
I try to explain how unfair this is, how many other crimes that were far worse than mine have been committed, but he doesn't listen...
no one ever listens
Tomorrow my exile will be decided, but today I will fight, I will fight the same way I've always had.... but god I was so, so tired.
I shout at him, "There are certain things you ask of me, and there are certain things I lack!"
He comes back just as loud, "In the beginning we were winning, but now you're just making up facts!"
I feel rage pool inside of me as I scream back, "What's it matter anymore?! You don't believe the things I tell! There's no meaning to the words, but we still sing these songs well!"
He doesn't even acknowledge my words, he yells back, "If you had just left it alone, it would've worked itself out fine!"
I actually laugh, he's blaming me... again... just like always, I feel pangs of sorrow in my heart as I desperately scream back at him, "You keep playing with the numbers, but we are running out of time!"
We are running
W3 a4e r#nni8g
We stand on top of the obsidian walls that surround the country that valued compassion and freedom, the nation that wasn't corrupt or controlled,
or at least it used to be like that...
the nation I fought so, so hard for, the nation that cost me my innocence, that nation that cost me everything.
I look at the boy in front of me that I would do anything for, that I would follow anywhere, that I would die for...
well I guess he doesn't feel the same.
"Tommy, you are hereby exiled."
I hear the protesting shouts of my friends behind me, but I don't really comprehend them. I flash back to all the memories, to all the broken promises, to all the love we devoted to each other. How could he just throw it all away?
Throw me away?
I speak, I don't yell, I don't scream, I just speak, "You're a villain..."
I lock eyes with Tubbo, his eyes widen, no one says a word.
I continue, "and I'm your best friend.." I feel tears spring to my eyes, my heart breaking, I keep talking, the dam of emotions finally breaking.
"I think it's unfair... your situation.."
I scream, "You say I'm changing! Sorry, I didn't know I had to stay the same!"
I see tears in his eyes as I plead with him, "Don't do anything you can't undo, okay? Let's talk about this later... your voice is driving me, it's driving me insane!"
My pleading isn't enough... it's never enough.
I look away from the open ocean and turn towards the broken nether portal. I walk to a few of the last chests I had hidden from Dream and grab some flint and steel and obsidian.
The fact that Dream underestimated me enough to think that I wouldn't be able to get back to the nether if I wanted to.
But then again everyone has always underestimated me.
However, as I'm walking towards the portal, that doesn't matter to me anymore...
all that matters is that I am so, so cold
and I just want to be warm again.
I sit inside my white tent, shivering. I gaze numbly at the blank piece of paper in front of me. I take a deep breath and start to write.
After a while I snap the pencil and rip up the paper in tears. I can't write to him, I don't even know what to say. I look out to the sea again through the flap in my tent. I talk to him even though he can't hear me.
"You see, I try to write you poems, but the words they don't make sense... and I try to grip the pencil, but my fingers are too tense..."
I just want him to understand me, to be here for me... but I guess if he truly cared he would be here anyways.
"and I try to feel emotion, but my eyes don't seem to wet anymore..."
I feel all the grief and sorrow in my heart, yet I'm not crying...
why can't I cry?!
"and I'd love to tell you our stories, but I can't remember how they went!" I scream at the open waters, the waters that are never occupied, the waters that no one travels across to see me.
Except Dream of course.
But now he's gone too.
I walk out on the bridge above the lava as I hold my compass. I remember Tubbo's smile, his kindness. I look at the compass as I speak, it's almost as if he's right there, as if I'm talking to him.
"You are the flashlight in a dark room in the loneliest blackout..."
Time stopped for Tubbo when he suddenly heard Tommy's voice. Dream, Tubbo, Quackity, Phil, and Techno stood around a table. They had been having a meeting about Lmanburg and it's boundaries, Tommy had been the last thing on their minds. He always was. Tubbo frantically grabbed the compass as he tried to figure out how Tommy was talking to him through it....
and why he sounded so broken and sad.
"TOMMY?!" He screamed into the compass, but it didn't matter... Tommy couldn't hear him... it was far too late for that. He looked up to the others and soon realized that they couldn't hear Tommy... this was his compass, the message was for him.
Tommy was talking to him.
As I felt the comforting warmth of the nether, I sighed in relief. However, it was as if the warmth also brought back all the emotions I hadn't been feeling. I let out a choked sob as I screamed at the compass,
"You were ALL that we had left, after it ALL was filtered out!"
Tubbo was sobbing now too, he felt all the guilt and regret he'd been trying to shove out for so long come rushing back. He'd never let himself believe that Tommy could be anything other than fine,
...it was Tommy.
But now Tommy sounded so broken, so helpless, so sad... he had done this.
This was his doing.
Another sentence came through the compass as Tommy left out another cry of pain, the others around the table stared at the crying president confused and concerned. Techno kept asking him what was wrong with Tommy, but Tubbo didn't have the strength to answer. He could only stand there and listen.
The time for taking action was long gone.
Now he had to just stand there and listen to the pain he had caused.
"Turn you on, in a dark room, right before we both pass out! Turn you on when I need you, but the batteries ran out...."
"THEY RAN OUT!" I scream into the compass. I feel the warmth, but at the same time it's unattainable, like it's right there... but I can't reach it. I look towards the lava and finally fully accept the decision that I had made a long time ago.
My voice goes quiet again as I speak, "You're a werewolf... and I'm your full moon, but you don't have to worry anymore, because I'll be gone soon."
I could've sworn I heard him, his protesting screams and sobs, but that was impossible because he didn't care....
no one did.
I clutched the compass to my chest as I listened to Tommy. No, he couldn't be saying what I think he is. I couldn't lose him, but then again it was me that pushed him to this. He couldn't do this... I always thought I was going to have another chance to redeem our friendship.
I always thought he'd be there waiting to rebuild it with me, because it's Tommy.
I couldn't lose him... not without him knowing how sorry I was, without him knowing how much I cared about him. I hear his voice, it's louder this time,
"And I think you've changed! Don't worry you don't gotta stay the same.."
I realize that he's right, I was so determined to be different from the line of evil presidents that came before me that it caused me to become just like them.... worse even.
Tommy was right, I had become just like Schlatt.
Tommy has always been right.
But no one ever listens to Tommy.
A part of me would've given anything to have Tubbo in front of me, have him hugging me and telling me he loved me.... telling me how he still cared...
but that part of me was long gone...
and that moment would never come.
I speak into the compass one final time, "I guess we won't talk about this later, because this is all driving me, it's driving me INSANE!"
I could've sworn I heard him, but it didn't matter because I was only 8 steps away from the warmth now.
From peace.
I kept screaming into the compass, every emotion I had felt recently pouring into my words.
"Driving me insane!"
7 steps
I remember getting the discs with him.
"Driving me insane!"
6 steps
I remember building our homes together.
"Driving me insane!"
5 steps
I remember fighting for him.
"Oh, driving me insane!"
4 steps
I remember losing myself somewhere along the way.
"Driving me insane!"
3 steps
I remember losing him.
"Driving me insane!"
2 steps
When did I stop fighting?
'Driving me insane!"
1 step
God, I am so tired of fighting.
"Driving me INSANE!"
0 steps
I'm done fighting.
I'm finally at peace, there's no more pain, no more sorrow, only
warmth
I'm not cold anymore.
And even though Tommy would never know it, two boys fell at that moment. One off a bridge... in a hell that he had been trapped in for far too long, another to the ground in a room, surrounded by concerned and panicked faces.
And in the end, even though only one was physically hurt, they both died that day nonetheless.
TommyInnit tried to swim in lava