Sixteen months after being locked away in a tiny cell that he had to share with an asthmatic cellmate, Roderick Payne reveled in the reality of being free. He would no longer be forced to use the bathroom in front of a cellmate. He would no longer have to struggle to get to sleep while listening to his cellmate wheezing loudly for hours. He would no longer be forced to stay indoors for twenty-three hours each day. His involuntary stay at the Thomas R. Jenkins Correctional Facility for Young Men was over and he could add that horrific facility to his long list of obstacles he'd overcome in his eighteen years of life.
"Be easy, Rod," called out Leek, one of the few friends Roderick had made while serving time.
Roderick replied with a simple head nod as the correctional officers escorted him out of Cellblock-C. The officers escorted him to the same cold communal open space shower and changing room that he was forced to get naked in along with the other young men who were brought to the facility with him sixteen months ago. This time; however, he had the space to himself and was changing back into the clothes he had on the day he arrived.
"I am not gonna miss you sad ass niggas," he sniped at the officers as he stepped out of the building with them. "Peace out, Officer Williamson and Officer Morris. Overworked and underpaid ass niggas."
"Yeah, yeah, lil' mothafucka," Officer Morris replied angrily.
"Next time you get in trouble," said Officer Williamson, "you won't be coming here, young man. You'll be going to the maximum-security state pen. And believe you me, there's some men up in the state pen that will break your little ass down. Now, get the fuck outta here!"
With a combined sense of cockiness and accomplishment, Roderick stepped outside the gates of the Thomas R. Jenkins Correctional Facility for Young Men and into a world he hadn't been a part of in over a year. The air outside those walls smelled and tasted different than the air he inhaled in the small courtyard he got to only spend an hour in every day. He could taste freedom and tasting it made him want to do anything and everything he could to continue being free.
Deven, Roderick's older brother, spotted Roderick and called out to him, "Yo, Rod! Over here!"
Roderick looked over and immediately began heading towards his brother's Chevrolet Camaro; albeit, at a slow pace. The truth was he still wasn't looking forward to living with his brother for the first time since they were kids in their original household. Their first time speaking to one another in over seven years was just the day before when Roderick's caseworker deemed Deven fit to be Roderick's guardian while he attended his final year of high school.
"Man, look at you," said Deven with admiration in his voice. "I told you you'd get tall one day. You didn't believe me." He stopped smiling when he noticed Roderick's indifferent demeanor. "Rod, I know it took a while but—"
"Can we just go?"
"Yeah, we can go. I just wanted to talk with you first. It's been a long, long time since we've even seen each other. I missed you, little bro." He approached Roderick and hugged him. After waiting a few seconds to see if Roderick would hug him back, he backed away and said, "Let's get out of here."
The hour-long ride from the small rural town to the city of Calhoun Heights was silent between the two brothers. Deven wanted to talk and try to understand why Roderick was being so cold. Roderick's mind was on taking a hot shower alone and eating McDonald's for the first time since before he got locked up. Out of all the ways Deven saw that day going, he didn't expect for it to play out that way. All he could think about was when Roderick was little and would light up just to hear his voice over the phone or leap into his arms whenever he saw him in person. It was hard to receive the opposite from his baby brother.
"Shit, you damn near westside," Roderick said while climbing out of the car. "How you afford to live this close to downtown? You slangin'?"
Deven gave him a stern look and said, "Boy, you know I don't fuck around with that shit. And you better not ever again either. You hear me?"
"Oh, you my pops now? That's good to know."
"Look, I know you on some shit right now but you need to keep in mind that I'm your last chance. You fuck this up and they will take your ass to grown man prison, nigga. And even if they put you in the same cellblock as dad, he won't be able to protect you every second."
"Bruh, save all that shit you talkin'. I'm gonna walk to my old spot and get my stuff to bring back here. I'll be back in like an hour or some shit."
"Rod, your stuff is already in my guest room upstairs."
"All of it?"
"Yes."
"What about my money?"
"Money? What money?"
"Deven, I had like five stacks under the floorboard in my closet."
"Your caseworker and them cops didn't find any money."
"Then they stole my shit!"
"Rod, you need to chill."
"Nah, that's fucked up! They stole my shit and you let them! I can't count on you for nothin', man."
"You can't count on me? Listen here, your black ass would've been doin' hard time if it wasn't for me! You're eighteen, nigga! Ain't no more foster care! You wanna act all bold and shit now that I done signed ya ass out of fuckin' juvie; meanwhile, I'm tryin' to do right by you."
"Save that bullshit for somebody who cares, man. How much they payin' you to let me stay with you? Huh? They must be payin' for this townhouse because I know you ain't got shit."
"Shows how much you know. I got my own business, Roderick. I went to community college and did somethin' with my life. I didn't play gangster and get caught up on some fuckin' charge. This is my townhouse and that's my car and can't nobody take that away from me." His voice began to shake and tears began to build in his eyes as he continued, "And you're my brother...and right now, you need to get your ass inside before I lose my composure and show you why I'm gonna be in charge."
Realizing that he'd gone too far, Roderick backed down and reluctantly followed Deven into the townhouse. The home was nothing like any of the places Roderick had lived in before. Located in the recently revitalized neighborhood formerly known as Little Poland; the home had three stories, a small entry-level with nothing but the front door and a coatrack to hang coats, a mid-level where the kitchen and living room were, and an upper-level where the bedrooms and bathrooms were. It was a far cry from the two-bedroom apartment Roderick and Deven once shared with their erratic father and heroin-addicted mother in the Stacey-Brooks Housing Project, known as The Bottoms.
"At least the stairs ain't concrete," Roderick said under his breath while following Deven up the second flight to the upper-level of the townhouse.
"Alright," said Deven as they entered a bedroom. "This is all you. Your bathroom is right across the hall. My bedroom is around the corner and has its own bathroom and balcony."
Roderick looked around the room and then looked at his brother and asked, "Exactly what kind of business do you own? How much is the rent in a place like this?"
"So, now you wanna talk?" He shook his head and laughed before saying, "I just bought that TV and mounted it to the wall myself last night for you. Your X-Box One is hooked up to it already. All of your clothes are hanging in the closet or folded in the dresser by the window. Your shoes are in the closet, too. I know it's not that raggedy bando you were living in but—"
"That place was my only real home, man. I hid out there for as long as I could. I wasn't goin' back to that group home."
"Now that I'm deemed fit to take care of you, this is your home."
Roderick sucked his teeth and said, "Man, here you go."
"I'm for real, Rod. I know I made a lot of promises I couldn't keep when you were little but I couldn't look at you and tell you the truth back then. I can now. It's gonna be different. I promise. You can go to school and focus on what you wanna do instead of struggling to survive."
"It's gonna be different, huh?"
"Look around, bro. Do you think social services is gonna kick the door in and take you to a group home? You're eighteen. That part of the system is done with you. I learned that when my foster peoples kicked my ass out."
"At least you had a foster family."
"Rod—"
"Can I just have a minute to myself? I wanna take a shower and then walk to McDonald's."
"McDonald's?" He laughed a little and said, "I thought you'd wanna go to Cassandra's or somethin'. I've been thinkin' about that fried chicken and cornbread all day."
"Nah, I want some McDonald's, my nigga. Big Mac, chicken nuggets, large fry, large Sprite; you feel me?"
"I feel you. But you ain't walking; I'll drive. I don't even want you thinking about going near any of them niggas that got you in trouble."
"Nobody got me in trouble, Dev. I got caught slippin'. That shit was on me."
"No, it's on whoever the piece of shit was that had my little brother slangin' for him. I don't want you to get back into that shit, Rod. I mean it."
"A'ight, damn! Can you leave me be so I can wash my ass in peace?"
Deven exited the room and Roderick immediately began to undress. He made sure his brother was out of the hallway before he hurried across the hall and into the bathroom. When he turned the shower on and felt the warm water on his hand, he began to finally accept the reality. He truly was free again. Instead of showering with twenty other boys his age and having no privacy, he had a bathroom to himself. Something as simple as taking a shower alone made him feel like a king.
Following his lengthy shower, he dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist before heading back across the hall and into his new bedroom. He closed and locked the door before stepping over to the closet and picking out something to wear. It took him a little while to decide on an outfit and then a little longer to find which dresser drawer had his underwear in it. When he was finally dressed and ready to go, he pulled one of his favorite coats from the closet and as he was putting it on, a small wallet-sized photo of Jacory fell out of one of the pockets.
"Damn," he said while smiling and staring at the photo. He turned the photo over and read the tiny message Jacory had written on the back aloud to himself, "Keep this with you always so I'll always be with you. I love you, Jacory." He didn't want to get in his feelings, so he put the photo underneath one of the pillows on his bed and then left the bedroom. He then hurried downstairs and told Deven, "I'm ready."
Although he'd left Jacory's tenth grade class photo under his pillow, Roderick now couldn't get Jacory off of his mind. Jacory Hamilton represented everything pure and good in his life before life went wrong. From the moment he first laid eyes on Jacory in sixth grade, he knew Jacory was special. He'd had crushes on other boys before but the crush he had on Jacory was different. For him, the sun rose and set on Jacory. They became friends the first day of sixth grade and boyfriends by the Christmas break of that same school year. Their connection was beyond the physical and Roderick still felt it. He found himself wondering if Jacory still felt it as well.
"You must have some girl on your mind," Deven said while sitting across from Roderick in McDonald's. "You're all quiet and shit. I bet she's one of the finest girls at your school, huh?"
Roderick smirked and replied, "Ain't no girl on my mind, man. I'm just enjoyin' my food and bein' free. I never expected to be free this early. They caught me with two keys of coke, man. I just knew they were gonna ship my ass to the pen once I turned eighteen last week."
"What was it like in there? Was it as bad as the group homes?"
"Nah, it was nothin' like any group home I'd been in. Shit was a'ight. They had teachers and shit so it was basically like jail combined with a school. That's how I made it to my senior year. The school part wasn't bad at all, just boring as fuck. I couldn't get used to showering with other niggas though. And some niggas was beefin' in there and fights would break out. I stayed out of that though. I did my time, did my work and hoped somethin' would get me out of there."
"I always wanted better for you, man. But in the back of my mind, I knew you would follow dad's path. You're just like him. You're hotheaded, you make the wrong decisions all the time. Even when you were little you wanted to buck and do shit your own way, even when you knew it would turn out bad."
"So, that's why that foster family took you and not me?"
"Rod, you know that was different. I begged them. I begged the social worker to force them to keep us together. I had no control over that. I was only thirteen."
"Yeah, but I was the six-year-old troublemaker, right? I was written off at just six years old."
"I know you were dealt a bad hand but you still made bad decisions later, man. You can't put all of that on the system. The system didn't tell you to start slangin' coke and dope for Escobar."
"I don't know who you get your info from but I ain't slang dope."
"Rod, cut the bullshit. This is me you're talkin' to. I know it all, man. You got caught with coke but you were sellin' the same shit that killed momma."
"I had to survive."
"Yeah, keep telling yourself that."
"I didn't come here to argue with you, Dev. I didn't really wanna talk at all. I just wanted to eat some food and then go see a friend."
"A friend? Oh, no. You're going back to the crib with me after this."
"Dev, come on. I can't go see my boys?"
"Why would I let you go see drug dealers after you just got out?"
"Who said anything about drug dealers? Nigga, I'm talkin' about my boys from school. Kel and the twins. I guess you don't know everything you think you know."
"Who are Kel and the twins?"
"My homeboys. I've known Kel since elementary school and Tay and Zay since middle school."
"So, which is it? You're going to go see a friend or your homeboys? First you said a friend and now you're saying homeboys."
"I meant to say friends."
"Why do I feel like you're hiding something?"
Roderick paused and sighed loudly before suggesting, "You can drop me off on the Strip if you don't believe me."
"Lil' niggas still hang out on the Strip?" He laughed and added, "I see shit hasn't changed since I was younger."
"I bet any amount of money Kel is shootin' his shot with some girls where the food vendors be and the twins are in the arcade hustling niggas out of their money."
"Man, I don't know."
"Dev, if I don't come back or if I'm out way too late then just call my caseworker and that'll be a strike."
"You better remember you told me that, because when I get ready to call your caseworker, you won't be able to talk me out of it."
"You're not gonna need to. I'll be back at your house no later than ten. I promise."
"Ten? Oh, I'm definitely gonna hold you to that shit."
Roderick finished his large cup of Sprite, burped, and confidently stated, "Hold me to it then, big bro."
Ten minutes later, Deven dropped him off on the 3500 block of South Fenwick Street, a popular area known as the Strip. Many young people met up there to get food and shop at the stores and play games in the arcade and visit the many businesses lined up and down the street. Roderick waited until Deven turned a corner before he began walking away from the Strip. He walked five blocks away towards a residential street and stopped at a corner store.
"Is this all for you tonight?" the cashier asked him after ringing up the pack of breath mints Roderick had put on the counter.
"Nah," Roderick answered. "Let me get a pack of them Magnum XL condoms, the bare skin ones." He pulled out the money Deven had given to him prior to dropping him off and paid for the mints and condoms. He gave the cashier a head nod and took the items before heading back out of the store.
He turned down an avenue and stopped at an apartment building. He paused for a few seconds and then hit the buzzer for apartment 628. Suddenly, a voice came through the speaker, asking, "Yeah, who is it?"
"It's me, Reese's Pieces. Let me in, baby boy."
"Roderick! Oh my God!"
The buzzer rang out and the door unlocked. Roderick entered the building and took the elevator up to the sixth floor. The moment the elevator doors opened and he stepped off, Reece grabbed him and hopped up on him. He laughed as he wrapped his arms around Reece to hold him up on his body. They began kissing each other with passion as Roderick stumbled towards the apartment. Once inside, Reece finally climbed down and then pushed Roderick hard.
"What was that for?" Roderick asked.
"For not writing me back! I wrote you like twelve letters and sent them to that prison."
Roderick laughed and said, "I wasn't in prison, baby. It was more like a reform school or some shit."
"Either way, you could've written me back."
"I had a lot on my mind in that place. I'm sorry. Where your momma at?"
"Out having drinks with her girls."
"Damn, just like old times. How long we got?"
"Don't you worry about that." He ran his hands down from Roderick's chest to the growing bulge in Roderick's sweatpants. He smiled while saying, "Oh, so you're ready ready?"
"You know it. How long I gotta wait for you to be ready?"
"I'm ready, too."
"Hold up, but you didn't know I was out and you damn sure didn't know I was comin' over. So, who you got ready for?"
"Does it matter? I mean, we can keep wasting time or I can suck your dick and then ride it until you pop." He turned around and pulled his pants and underwear down in the back, exposing his bare ass to Roderick. He began heading towards his bedroom as he said, "Take it or leave it, baby."
Roderick smiled and shook his head as he followed, saying in return, "Oh, I'ma take it. Best believe that."
Reece Carter was the polar opposite of Jacory, and it was that fact that fueled Roderick's attraction to him. The pair began having sex with each other behind Jacory's back around Valentine's Day 2014, just a couple of months before Roderick was arrested. There were multiple reasons for why Roderick cheated on Jacory and none of them had anything to do with Jacory. While Roderick was ashamed and upset with himself for messing up his long-term relationship, he knew that it was best to let Jacory go. However, Reece didn't quite fill the void left by Jacory's exit from his life. He was merely someone likeminded and easy.
"Shit," Roderick called out as he rolled over on his back. He caught his breath and then said, "Thank you, baby. I needed that."
Reece giggled and asked, "Did you really go all that time without gettin' any ass?"
"Yep."
"I'm sure there were other dudes in there down to fuck."
"I don't know about that. Even if they were, none of them were my type. I don't like tough and rough niggas. I like my niggas to be soft and cute, like you."
"You mean like Jacory, right? I may be fem but I ain't soft. That bitch is soft."
"Hey, don't talk about him like that. You ain't even have to bring his name up."
"I'm just sayin'—"
"Reece, leave it."
"Damn, okay. I hate when you get all protective for him and shit. I know you're not over him."
Roderick looked over at the clock sitting on the nightstand and sat up as he said, "You know what, I gotta bounce. My brother told me to be home by nine."
"Your brother? That's who you're staying with now?"
He climbed out of Reece's bed and replied, "Yeah, he got this townhouse over in Little Poland."
"Damn, your brother in the game, too?"
"Nah, he got a business or some shit."
"So, you got a new phone?"
"Not yet. I'll have one soon though, I hope."
"You comin' back to school or what?"
"Yep, tomorrow."
"Well, I guess I'll see you there." He climbed out of bed naked and stepped over to Roderick. He stood on the tips of his toes so that he could kiss Roderick's lips. After pulling back from the kiss, he asked, "Did you think about me while you were locked up?"
"You know I did. I thought about you and this"—he grabbed Reece's bare ass and squeezed on it—"beautiful booty and it made my dick hard."
"I thought about that dick damn near every day."
Roderick smirked and demanded, "Get rid of the nigga you were gonna let fuck you tonight. I'm back and that ass is all mine."
"Mmm hmm. Next time, bring some blow. You were my connect and then you got locked up. The nigga I've been coppin' from lately has that weak shit."
"I told you to stop doin' that shit, Reece. Damn!"
"I did for a time, but you know that shit turns me up like nothin' else."
"Well, you better get clean again because I'm not gonna be slangin' no more. I gotta let that shit go, Reece. I don't wanna end up in prison like my raggedy ass pops."
"You're gonna quit slangin'? Are you serious? And what are you gonna do for money? Flip burgers or some shit?"
"I don't know, maybe."
"Roderick, I know you got caught up in a bad situation but you were doin' good. Shit, half of the clothes in my closet was from the cash you used to slide to me on the regular."
When he said that, Roderick gave him a look and then asked, "I had five stacks hidden in my old spot, did you take it?"
"No."
"Reece, be real with me. I won't get mad."
He looked directly into Roderick's eyes and assured him, "I didn't take it, Rod. I swear, baby. I never even went by your spot after I learned you got arrested. Who all knew about the money?"
"Nobody knew about it. I believe the cops took it. Crooked ass mothafuckas."
"If you were to get back in good with Escobar, you'd make that back in no time."
"Reece, I told you I'm done."
"I'm just sayin', think on it."
"Whatever. Gimme kiss, I'm about to go." He put an arm around Reece and kissed him again before pulling away and heading out of the bedroom.
While waiting on Roderick to return, Deven grabbed his second beer from the fridge and began drinking it on his way back to the living room sofa. He'd been thinking about his brother nonstop since dropping him off on the Strip. Worried out of his mind, all he could do was pray that everything would be alright and his brother would come home.
Home? After so many years apart, he finally had a chance to provide a real home for his little brother. Just when he was starting to question whether or not he was too late intervening in his brother's life, Roderick entered the house downstairs.
"You're back earlier than expected," Deven said the moment Roderick ascended the stairs into the living room. "How was it seein' your boys?"
"It was cool," Roderick replied as he shoved his hands into his coat pockets. "Yo, I'ma go up and get ready for bed."
"This early?"
"I'm used to it. Shit, lockdown was at six-thirty. I got school in the mornin', too."
"Alright, bro."
Roderick turned to go up the second set of stairs but stopped and turned back to say, "Dev, I'm sorry for that shit I said earlier about you gettin' a foster family and I didn't. I just...look, I want you to know that I don't blame you. Our parents fucked up and it's on them, not you. It would be real fucked up of me to put all that bullshit on you; meanwhile, you're letting me stay here now. Now is what matters, man. Thank you."
He proceeded to the stairs and quickly ascended them. Deven set his bottle of beer down on a coaster on the coffee table and thought about Roderick's words. It wasn't long before a combination of relief and regret overpowered his mind and tears were filling his eyes.
Upstairs, Roderick entered his bedroom and smiled big when he saw a new iPhone 6s Plus sitting on his bed. He picked up the box and wasted no time opening it and setting up the phone. He couldn't believe his brother had gotten him a phone that just came out less than a month before. After setting the phone up, he left his bedroom and went back downstairs to thank Deven. However, Deven was gone and had left a note saying he'd be back in a little while. Roderick headed back up to his room and explored everything on his new phone.