𝔞𝔠𝔱 𝔱𝔴𝔬
𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐃 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍
𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙩 𝙙𝙖𝙮
𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙮: 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙮𝙪𝙣𝙟𝙞𝙣
—
"ugh come on jin, pick up, pick up" i tap my foot on the ground rapidly. it was the 3rd, maybe 4th, time i was trying to call hyunjin and every single time his stupid phone went straight to voicemail. to be honest i start thinking whether or not the boy has been killed. he always answers my calls no matter the circumstance.
"hi this is hyunjin, leave a message and i'll call you back" his voicemail says to me and i growl. the tone beeps and i squint my eyes even though the boy can't see it. "call me back you stupid oaf, goodbye" i sigh and throw my phone on the bed a few feet away from where benny lays.
i plop down next to him, my hair flailing everywhere when i do so. "benny," i say to the cat, "why won't hyunjin answer me?"
i lower my voice to sound like the cat is talking back to me, "because he's a stupid male and he sucks."
"ah yes, you are right again sir benny, how'd you get so smart?"
i go quiet and the only noise is the subtle buzzing of the fan next to me. i always had fans on even on the coldest winter days, i don't know if it's because i liked the whirring sound it made or if being colder helped me fall asleep because i could bundle up more.
my phone buzzes next to me and i pick it up. it's just a stupid netflix notification letting me know another season of one of the shows i watch is now out.
i roll my eyes and set my phone back down, cuddling into benny. he rests his head on my stomach and i softly pet the top of his head.
i had to tell hyunjin the news of me going to be a big sibling but he hasn't answered my texts nor my calls since he left my house. i was slightly worried, but more annoyed at the fact he was ignoring every call and message i sent his way.
"hey illi?" my mom knocks on my door. "come in" i say to her and i can hear the sound of her twisting the clicking knob and the door whooshing open.
benny's black head perks up and i do too, using my forearms to hold my body up. "yes mommy dearest?" i ask her. "this just got dropped off in the mail" my mother hands me a big envelope. my body sits up fully and i grab the envelope from her. i read my name and who the sender is.
my jaw drops and i look at my mom who raises an eyebrow at me. " are you going to open it?" she asks me. my eyes are wide and no words come out of my mouth. "i think i'm gonna wait" i gulp an abundance of dry air like it's water and she nods. "just make sure to open it soon" my mother points to me. i hand the large envelope back to her and she exits my room.
"benny, i'm getting too old," i say and he yawns before laying back down on the bed next to me, "i am far from ready for all this stupid adulting nonsense, cant i just be a kid forever?"
after i fill myself with some lunch and sit in my room with a full stomach, loud, quite annoying knocking comes from downstairs. i hear my parents open the door and greet whoever's there before pounding footsteps run up the stairs, running all the way to my bedroom. i swear there's an elephant running through my house with the volume of the steps.
the door quickly flies open and both me and benny jump at the sudden motion that was in my room.
"moonie!" hyunjins voice yells to me. i jump again before looking at the tall boy that now stands in the entryway of my room.
"oh so you are alive?" i ask him and he stops to furrow his eyebrows. he turns around and shuts the door as his chest rises and falls rapidly. he breathes loudly, grasping his chest as he desperately searches for a breath. "what do you mean?" he says when he's finally oxygenated enough, swallowing some of his own spit to moisten his throat.
"i mean, you're actually alive?" i say to him and his eyebrows stitch together yet again. "yeah i'm alive, what the hell kind of stupid question is that?" hyunjin says to me.
"well i don't know, you didn't seem to answer any of my texts or calls so i was starting to think you passed away" my hand grabs my cup beside me and i quench my thirst before focusing back onto my best friend that stands in the center of my room. "about that-!" he starts but i quickly cut him off. "aye! nothing about that! why did you ignore me!" i say to him and he throws his hand my way. "shush! let me finish moonie!"
i roll my eyes and sit back into my pillows, listening to what the boy has to say. "i had my first real kiss today!" he yells and my heart drops into my stomach. i can feel the color in my face drain and all of a sudden, my stomach feels more than a little queasy. i have to shove the urge to throw up down my throat.
"what?" i say and hyunjin nods, a huge smile on his face. "with who?" i ask him. "ara" he replies and i swear the lunch i had just eaten was threatening to come up through the barrier i was trying to place.
i swallow an abundance of the air around me in a large gulp, nodding. "that's crazy" i say and and he nods. "i know! i'm not a kiss virgin anymore!" he yells and i softly laugh with him. my face still feels white.
"proud of you" i send the boy a thumbs up and he cocks a brow. "moonie? are you okay?" he asks me and i nod. "yeah, yeah i'm fine, really all good."
"i didn't actually look at your messages by the way, i turned my phone off when i was with ara, what did you have to tell me?" hyunjin asks and i shake my head. "um, nothing. it's not important right now" it was way more than important to me, i just could not stand the thought of having him around me much longer, i needed to get the boy as far away from me as possible in a limited amount of time.
"are you sure?" he asks and i nod vigorously. "absolutely positive" i tell him.
"moonie are you sure you're okay? you look extremely pale, as white as a ghost" he bends down to study my face and i nod, removing his hand from my face when he tries to inspect it. "yeah i'm fine jin, i just need some sleep, havent gotten a lot lately, thanks for stopping over" my face forms a faker than fake grin and he nods.
"yeah of course, get some rest moonie" he lingers after walks out of my room and i wait till i hear him say goodbye to my parents before i move a single muscle. when the front door shuts, i reach over and grab my phone to call chan.
the phone rings for a few seconds but the older boy picks up after a few rings. "hello?" chan says from the other line. "are you at your apartment?" i ask him, my tone is rushed.
"yeah why?" i can hear the confusion laced in his accent. him, felix and my dad had the exact same one so it was kind of nice to hear him talk. it was a comfort thing for me.
"okay" i hang up before he can ask me any questions, grabbing my keys that lay on the corner of my nightstand. i make my way down the stairs and before i'm able to get out the door my parents turn, stopping me in my tracks. "illi? where are you going?" my mom asks and i turn around to look at the two people that made me.
"i'm going to chan's to talk about something" i tell them. "hyunjin said you were sleeping" my dad laughs and i shake my head as i'm exiting. "not at all!"
i leave and it takes me about fifteen to twenty minutes before i pull into the parking lot of chan's apartment building. i take the elevator up and knock on the door rapidly, when i finally reach it.
he opens it and i quickly push past him. "moonie, fel-" i cut chan off, babbling as i enter his abode.
"chan! i am the literally the biggest idiot to ever grace planet earth!" i say as i enter, throwing my keys down onto his kitchen counter, eventually pacing around his living room.
i plop my butt onto the couch and breathe out a loud breath.
"what's going on moonie?" he asks looking off to the side, i don't even notice as i continue to run my fingers through my slightly knotted hair. "chan! he kissed her! he fucking kissed ara! they're like practically a thing now" i take a deep breath in and then out before grabbing a pillow and screaming into it.
"i should've told him it was me sending the stupid, sappy, all lovey dovey letters! i should've just been like hyunjin! you big idiot! it's me! i love you" i babble as the boy that took the role of being my older brother stands in front of me. "i should've just taken the rejection and let myself get over it! this hurts!"
"hold on! you're the one sending hyunjin the letters?!" i hear a voice yell from the kitchen. it's all too familiar and my eyes go wide when felix steps out from the kitchen, a chocolatey bowl in his hand. how i had not seen him when i threw my keys down? i have no clue.
"oh my god!" i yell burying my face in the pillow, screaming loudly. some tears now escape from my wide eyes.
"i wasn't supposed to hear that was i?" i hear felix say and i can tell chan shook his head at him because felix says a soft sorry and exits the room.
"hey moonie" my head raises and chan sits down on his couch next to me. "everything will be okay, okay?"
i lay my head on his shoulder, tears now coming out of my eyes left and right. "i hope so" i wipe the tears off as they keep on coming.
"moonie" felix enters, this time he doesn't have a bowl. he sits on the other side of me and hugs me. "i'm not going to say anything, i promise, this is our secret." he continues to hug me and i melt into the love of the two boys.
"thank you" i sniffle.
"anything for you moonie, don't worry, it's going to stay between us until you don't want it to anymore, and whatever you decide i support you" felix continues to spill out sweet words as my tears come down more and more. "your love letters are immaculate by the way," felix softly giggles and i do too at his words, "if you ever want to catch feelings and write me some, someday, that'd be pretty cool."
"trust me lix, it was not my choice to catch feelings for hyunjin."
█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█
BAMBI'S THOUGHTS !
so a lot happened in this chapter and yeah i
kind of apologize, kind of don't. i feel so bad
for moonie in this specific chapter, i just want
to hug her and tell her everything will be alright
also chan and felix are such good friends. and
when i was writing felix's part i was tearing up
lol i'm sorry emotional. this chapter was actually
one of my favorite to write:) thank you for
reading and vote and comment for more<3
█▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒█
.