C A S
Dean sleeps peacefully beside him, his naked body only covered by a thin blanket, and Cas's arms around him. Eyes fluttering beneath his closed eyelids, mouth slightly open as he breathes calmly.
Cas has lived for longer than humanity is capable of imagining. He has seen it all, lived it all. Been all over the world, in heaven, in hell.
He's seen pain, anger, hate, war, evil.
And for the love of the man beside him, it was all worth it.
He's seen beauty, all wonders of the world, joy, love, peace, goodness.
And yet, the man lying in his arms is the most beautiful of it all.
Nothing can compare to the love, the joy, the beauty of Dean Winchester. Nothing.
For Castiel, the world was created for him to meet Dean. Everything that has happened has led him into the arms of the only being Cas has ever truly loved. He would give anything for the man, he had given anything for him. And he would do it again. And again. And again.
All of it.
All of it, was worth it, just to be able to lay in bed next to Dean, watching him as peaceful as ever, sleeping with his head resting on Cas's chest. He'd do it all a thousand times, just to be able to lay here at this moment, counting the freckles on his face, waiting for him to open his green eyes so that Cas once again can look into the greatest wonder ever created in the whole universe. Nothing is as beautiful as those freckles. Nothing is as beautiful as those green eyes.
Although they've been together for a couple of weeks now, just the two of them living in a bubble where the rest of the world doesn't exist, Cas sometimes thinks he has to be dreaming. No one is so lucky as to get everything they have ever wished for when that wish is something as monumental as Dean Winchester.
For years and years, Cas had believed his feelings to be his, and his alone. He knew Dean cared about him, but he never dared to think that he might feel the same way. Cas had believed that Dean loved him as a brother, and nothing more. He didn't believe he could love a creature like Cas, a being like him. So he had never said a word. Never acted upon it. Although at times, that was all he had wanted to do. But he never did.
When Cas made a deal with the Empty to save their son, Jack, he was certain that the Empty could ever come for him. Since the one thing that would make Cas happy, the one thing that would make Cas that happy was Dean. Dean loving him.
Dean.
Beautiful Dean.
When he and Dean had been trapped in the bunker, Death banging on the door, he knew he had to save his Dean. He had to save him, or he would never be able to live with himself. He didn't know if it would actually work, but he knew that his feelings for Dean were so strong that even just saying the words out loud, would make him happy.
And it did.
And the Empty had come for him.
And he had saved Dean.
Cas believed his days were past, that he would spend the rest of eternity sleeping in the Empty. But he woke, and that's when the Shadow made sure to torture him. He hadn't known why he had started to wake, but he suspected that the man beside him had something to do with it. He couldn't hear his words when he was lost in the void, but an unrecognizable feeling had lingered around him. He recognized the feeling when Dean came close, pulling him into his arms. It was Dean. The feeling. It was Dean. Always Dean.
Dean's prayers searching, always finding Cas, no matter how far apart they were. Even when Dean was praying to him, to Cas. Not the angel Castiel, but his Cas, the prayers always found their way to him.
And then Dean had found him. Saved him.
Brought him back. Brought him home.
And...
Told him that he loved him too.
Dean loved him.
Dean.
He thought he had known happiness and joy before, but the way he felt when Dean told him that he wasn't alone with those feelings, was something that Cas didn't even know how to name. Never had he felt such love. A love he had felt every day since.
Dean's love.
Cas places a gentle hand in Dean's hair, smiling down at the sleeping man. He'd let it grow longer than usual, and Cas found the soft beautiful hair to be just another wonder that the world could not measure up to. At the touch, Dean moves slightly in his sleep, his hand reaching up, resting on Cas's chest. Close to his heart.
They had all the time in the world. Nothing more to fight or beat. Nothing to worry about. Only live. Finally being able to live. To love. They had all the time in the world, the rest of their time, together.
Since Cas came home, they had spent as much time as possible together. Just being with each other. Figuring out the two of them. Yes, the simple way to put it was that Cas loved Dean, and Dean loved Cas. But, to Cas, it felt so much bigger than that. No one knew Cas better than Dean, and they had been family for so many years. But his was something else. Something Cas had hidden for so long. Something Dean had hidden for so long. And now that they didn't have to hide anything ever again, they were learning and getting to know each other in another way than before.
Learning each other, again. There was so much to learn, so much to learn differently. Kisses to learn. Bodies to learn. Feelings to learn. Slowly, they were figuring it out. Slowly they became.
Dean had just started his new job at the garage working four days a week, the other days he spent in the bunker working with the hunters, although he never went with them on hunts. Cas filled his days by helping the others in the bunker the best he could, or by reading and learning, sometimes learning the hunters what he knew. Most days, when Dean was working, he would leave the bunker to go outside, their dog following close more often than not, something he had found to be his favorite thing to do to pass the time. Nature. The one place, other than inside this room, where he could find a sense of peace so deep and calm that he would long for it at times.
And of course, Dean. Dean filled his spare time with Cas, and Cas filled his spare time with Dean. They had talked about Cas also finding some kind of job, and he wanted to, sometime in the future maybe. But right now? Right now Cas just wanted to be. Wanted to be human.
They have all the time in the world to make a life together, and Cas could not think of anything that he wanted more than that. At the thought of them together and the joy it brought him, something seemed to spark inside him, sending electric waves through his body. He'd felt it before. That little spark. The small portion of grace that remained inside this, his, body. It acted on its own. Surprising Cas each time he felt it, as he keeps forgetting. But it's still there sometimes. That little spark, his little piece of angel grace. And it was always Dean who made it spark.
Carefully he raised his lips to Dean's forehead, gently kissing him as his hand still gently rested atop his head. Fingers dancing through his beautiful light hair.
«Cas.» Two green sleepy, only half awake, eyes look up at him, a smile spreading across his face as he sees Cas is already awake.
«Dean. Hello.» Dean rests his hand against the side of Cas's face, slowly pulling them closer, gently bringing their lips together in a sweet kiss.
«Morning, angel.» Dean smiles into the kiss, before resting his head on the pillow close to Cas's face.
«Morning, freckles.» The new nickname makes him chuckle as Cas gently strokes a thumb underneath his eye, touching those beautiful marks painted across his face. He found them to be one of the most beautiful things ever created. Exploring his body, Cas had found them on the back of his shoulders too, and some on his collarbone. But the ones on his cheeks, those were his favorite. "Did you sleep well?"
«Better than ever before.» He smiles as he closes his eyes, resting his forehead against Cas's temple. «You?»
«The best, with you by my side.»
When Cas had been human before, he had found mornings to be terrible. But not these mornings when he would wake beside Dean. Those were like little pieces of heaven. Them waking together. Smiling at each other. He never wanted to leave the sanctuary of their bed, their room. But as always, they had to get up sometime. During the weekends, when Dean didn't have work, they would wake together like this, staying there for as long as they could. Usually, they were dragged out of bed by scratching on the door. They had already slept in, and the dog outside had waited long enough for them to wake. So when Dean went to open the door, Miracle sprinted through the door, jumping as high as he could to land in the middle of the bed, getting comfortable between the two men as Dean lay back down beside Cas. Miracle let out a happy bark as Cas obeyed his request for cuddles.
«You know, Dean. We could just let him sleep in here with us.» Cas smiles down at the dog on his lap.
«We could, but I'm not giving up my spot. He just wants you all to himself and I am not gonna let him have you.» Pulling Cas close to his chest, away from Mir, Dean teasingly smiles at the dog as Mir tries to make Cas hold him again. «You can have him while I'm at work, Mir. And we can share him when I get home. But at night, he's all mine.»
Cas laughs as he raises his eyes to Dean, a bright smile across his face.
«All mine! You hear me?» He says with a pointed stare, but he's still smiling at the dog. Miracle moves closer and settles as close to Cas's side as he can get. Cas smiles and pulls the dog into a comfortable embrace. His fluffy head on top of Dean's chest. Turning to look at Cas, his green eyes sparkles. Happy. Happiness. Dean lowers his head so that their lips are close again.
«All mine.» He says into the kiss.
A spark of electricity inside Cas matches the spark in his eyes as he leans into the kiss. Neither of them notices when the lamp beside their closet flicker two times as the small grain of grace acts on its own, Cas too lost in their kiss to notice.
***
As they drive through the dark forest soft songs play from the radio. Cas had fallen in love with music, and Dean had made him another mixtape, with all of Cas's favorite songs at the moment. This one in particular.
You taught me the courage of stars before you left
How life carries on endlessly even after death
Sitting in the impala, besides Dean on dark nights like this, driving down the road, often nowhere as a destination. Cas could do this forever, as long as he had Dean beside him.
Dean looked so peaceful and calm behind the wheel of his car, watching as the world passes by outside the window. Cas can't help but smile at the light in his eyes, the way he too loves nights like these.
«Are you going to tell me where we are going?»
«Nope.» Cas reaches over, pulling Dean's hand into his lap, holding on to it gently as he strokes the back of his hand.
«Baby better not get dirty.» At that Cas laughs quietly as he watches Dean drive down the bumpy dirt road. The impala's headlight lights up only what is right in front of the car, the forest around them hiding whatever is between the trees.
The song continues flowing through the car as they continue down the dirt road.
How rare and beautiful it is that we exist.
Soon they arrive at a small clearing atop a small cliff. Dean parks the car in the middle of the cleaning, turning off the car, cutting off the soft tones.
It's dead quiet.
Dark.
He'd found the place one of the days he had been exploring the forest. It's not far from the bunker, but Cas had walked for hours through the forest, listening to the birds singing. Daydreaming about nothing and everything, when he stumbled on to it on his way back home.
Cas kisses Dean's knuckles before letting go of his hand, exiting the car. Dean follows and as they meet in front of the impala, Cas is smiling brightly.
«This place is beautiful, Cas. But why are we here in the middle of the night?» He takes his hand in his, leaning against the hood of the car, watching Cas.
Cas cups Dean's face with his free hand, gently kissing him, and as he pulls back he simply says, «Look up.»
Each day it has gotten colder, a sharpness added to the air. Autumn is slowly letting go of its hold, welcoming the winter cold. And with November showing off, the night is clear and the sky filled with beautiful stars.
«Cas...» looking up at the starry night sky, Dean is speechless. So they just stand there, for a long moment, looking at the stars. Cas sits against the car as he leans against Dean's side, head on his shoulder. Dean turns slightly towards him to place his arm around Cas's shoulder, holding him close. At that moment it's just the two of them. The two of them all alone in the world, the only ones left. «It's beautiful, Cas.»
Cas smiles up at him, watching how his green eyes shine in the dark, a smile spread wide across his face.
«I found it one day when I was out walking, maybe a week ago, and I've come here a couple of times. It's so peaceful. I don't think a lot of people come here, I don't know if anyone even knows of the place. The dirt road hasn't been used for so long I'm surprised it's not overgrown yet...»
«I for sure didn't know of this place..."
«You can't really see it from anywhere. It's hidden from the road, and the dirt road is almost impossible to find if you're not looking for it, or knows it's there.» When they had driven off the main road they had come to a side road going through the forest. They'd driven for almost five minutes into the forest when Cas had finally spotted the dirt road, and even though he knew it was there, even he had almost missed it. Dean had been very skeptical of driving down that road, mainly because of the car, at least that was what he claimed. But he had listened to Cas and continued down the dirt road for another five minutes. "Even when I knew it was here, this little cliff with the most amazing view, and tried to spot it, it's completely invisible.»
Dean made a little humming noise as he leads his head atop Cas's continuing to watch the stars as they stood there in silence. A weak breeze picked up as they stood there, making Dean pulling his red and black plaid winter jacket tighter across his chest. He pulls Cas to him, his back resting against Dean's chest, his head on Cas's shoulder. Quietly, they stand there, holding each other as they watch the stars shine above them.
«It's so beautiful.»
«Yeah... it's beautiful during the day, but I figured it would be even better at night. The sky beautifully painted with sparks.»
«Thank you for bringing me here, angel.»
«Anywhere. Always, freckles.»
The nickname still made Dean chuckle, even sometimes painting his face red as he smiles at the ground. Turning around in his arms, Cas face him, pulling him closer. Dean locking him in an embrace, reaching his hands up Cas's back, trailing their way underneath his white and black plaid winter jacket, and then finding their way under his dark green hoodie. Or, Dean's hoodie really. After becoming human, Cas had been living in them, almost refusing to wear anything else. He loved Dean's soft and slightly oversized hoodies, especially when they smelled like Dean. So, he'd sometimes make Dean wear them first, and Dean seemed to really like Cas's T-shirt, so it was a fair trade.
Dean stretches his neck towards Cas, his lips hovering over Cas's, teasingly. But he never closes the distance between them. Instead, he leans towards Cas's neck, placing a gentle kiss on the middle of his neck. The one place where Cas gets lost each time Dean kisses him. Dean's lips linger on his scar, making Cas go weak on his knees, a chill going through his whole body. When Dean kissed him there, Cas could feel that little drop of grace left in his body, spark more intensely than usual. One night, when Cas asked him, Dean had whispered in his ear, his fingers gently running over the scar, how kissing him there made him feel like he was kissing his grace, the closest he would come to Cas in his true form, one he could never see. Never see, but feel, when his lips lingered there. Cas had been left speechless for a long moment after his words. And each time his lips found their way to that scar, Cas couldn't help but feel like he was flying. Levitating. Dissolving.
«I love you, Cas.» He says against his neck before his lips begin finding their way to his, Dean's soft nose leading them on their way up, up, up.
«I love you, Dean.»