Chapter 14
Future
Just like what the three of us agreed to, kumain kami sa isang restaurant at nagtagal do'n dahil sa kuwentuhan. Kamille is really sociable kaya naman naging kumportable si Jadon sa pakikipag-usap sa kan'ya.
Jadon has been nothing but patient with us. It must've been hard for him to hang out with just two girls lalo pa at medyo nakakahilo kaming kasama ni Kamille.
Bago pa man dumilim, napagdesisyunan na rin naming umuwi.
Unang inihatid ni Jadon si Kamille bago n'ya ako inihinatid sa amin. We've been chatting about a lot of things. Lalo pa no'ng tinanong ko s'ya kung paano ba nila pinoprotektahan sina Hanani at Ida Mishal.
Napansin ko kasi na protective sila sa dalawa. Sa kanilang lahat, ang alam kong pinaka-protective ay si Adonijah, maybe because he's the most vocal guy among them, ayon na rin sa mga videos na nakikita ko galing kay Ida Mishal.
Ida Mishal is a rising vlogger but she rarely talks about her friends. Ang vlogs ni Ida Mishal, minsan ay spontaneous lang o travel. She rarely talks in her videos. Nakikita ko lang ang mga kaibigan n'ya sa videos n'ya sa tuwing magkakasama sila at naisipan ni Ida Mishal na mag-vlog.
Her vlogs don't really have a purpose but people get entertained with the things she does. It's because she likes art, books, studying, cafes, and her fashion style is really good, idagdag pa na lumalabas sa vlogs n'ya ang mga kaibigan n'yang nakakapukaw din ng atensyon.
In addition to that, she has famous friends--artista, anak ng mayamang kongresista, at mga kapwa vlogger na sikat din. She's not super famous yet but I feel like she will in just a matter of time.
"Just like a sister," Jadon said, answering my question and shrugging afterward like it was just natural. "We've been friends since junior high school. Si Hanani, I've known her since elementary."
Tumangu-tango ako at napa-angat ang tingin ko sa bahay namin nang tuluyan na kaming makarating do'n. Agad akong nagkalas ng seatbelts at nilingon ko si Jadon. I saw him looking at the compartment of his car in front of me.
"Thank you, Jadon," I said and he raised his gaze at me.
I don't want to go home yet but it's a feeling I'm slightly getting used to because I always feel it every time we part ways. Magkikita pa naman kami bukas... o kung hindi, mag-uusap pa naman kami.
Jadon stared at me for a couple of seconds before he slightly avoided my gaze. Bahagya akong nagtaka. Jadon never avoids my gaze. Parating matapang na tumititig pabalik o 'di kaya ay ngingisi.
It seems like something is bothering him.
I stared at him, waiting for him to say something.
"I wanted to give you something earlier," he said and I frowned. "But I didn't because I didn't want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable."
"Ano?" I asked, wondering what it was.
Kanina n'ya pa 'yon gustong ibigay? Is it something eyecatching and extravagant that he thought I'd get pressured or uncomfortable?
Jadon gripped his steering wheel tightly for a second before he removed his seatbelts and leaned towards my side.
Uminit ang mga pisngi ko nang lumapit s'ya sa puwesto ko. I smelled his perfume and the nice smell of his hair.
Binuksan n'ya ang compartment ng sasakyan n'ya at bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita kung ano 'yon.
It's a really small compact bouquet but it was nicely arranged. Sa balot at tali no'n, halatang mahal. It has a small note on top of the flowers, hindi ko pa mabasa dahil nasa mga bulaklak ang atensyon ko.
"I bought it earlier for you," he said and I looked at him.
I caught Jadon looking at the bouquet as he held the steering wheel again.
"Why?" I asked.
Jadon raised his gaze at me and our eyes met. I unconsciously blinked softly as I stared at his eyes. Kita ko ang ganda ng mga mata ni Jadon. His eyes make me feel like I'm hearing romantic fairytales I haven't heard before. It's pulling me and it's making me wonder. It makes me feel free. How could a whole new world be stored in someone's eyes?
"I want to cheer you up," Jadon said.
Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko at napatitig ako sa kan'ya nang ilang segundo. It was my first time receiving a bouquet.
And I know what it means to give a girl a bouquet.
Why?
"Because?" I mumbled my question.
"I know you're feeling down, Aiah," he said and smiled at me. "I want to cheer you up."
Kinagat ko ang labi ko at tumitig sa kan'ya.
I want to still ask... because that's not the answer I expect to hear. Pero pa'no kung 'yon lang talaga ang dahilan? Pipilitin ko pa ba s'ya? I shouldn't. Dahil kung iba talaga ang sagot, baka masaktan lang ako.
I shouldn't hope, right? I don't know how Jadon treats his girl friends. Baka talagang maalaga s'ya sa mga babaeng kaibigan. Hindi ko dapat 'to bigyan ng kahulugan, 'di ba?
I have guy friends and they're sweet to me too, but not to this extent. Pero paano nga kung ganito lang si Jadon?
Ngumiti ako pabalik kay Jadon, itinutulak ang gustong marinig na sagot palayo dahil ayokong umasa. Kaibigan ko si Jadon at kaibigan ang turing n'ya sa'kin. Hindi kami maayos na nakapagsimula ng pagkakakilala pero nagkaayos na kami at nagkapatawaran.
He proved to me that he isn't the guy I thought he was and he has exceeded my expectations. He's someone who came to me unexpectedly and although I didn't anticipate him, I loved the role he has taken up in my life.
I shouldn't ask for more than that. Masaya ako na isa s'ya sa mga taong naka-suporta sa akin. Na isa s'ya sa mga taong kayang tumanggap sa akin kahit sa pinakamababang punto ng emosyon o kalagayan ko.
I know.
"Thank you, Jade," I mumbled and looked at the bouquet lovingly.
If I won't expect anything and be contented with what I am currently receiving, I'd be able to see the beauty the present beholds. This was it... a friendship with Jadon that makes me feel... comforted and understood.
"Ingat ka," I mumbled as I raised my gaze at Jadon again and I found his eyes.
Jadon looks at me seriously and I finally pulled his car's lever so I can finally get off.
"Azariah," Jadon called and I looked at him again.
"Hmm?"
"I don't think that this is the right time yet," he said and I sat back on his seat and looked at him, leaving the opened door. "And I know that you have so much in your mind right now."
I frowned and stared at him.
"I like you," he said and I feel like the air has abandoned me completely. "I care for you. That's why I'm giving you that."
Napalunok ako at napatitig sa mga mata ni Jadon.
"I didn't give you the flowers as a confession," ani Jadon. "I didn't plan to confess... yet. But I'd hate to confuse you."
I pursed my lips and looked at the flowers. Is it the answer I expected?
Yes. Yet it still feels... surprising. It feels like a dream.
"Thanks, Jade," I mumbled softly.
"Are you uncomfortable?"
Am I?
"No," umiling ako at nakangiting tumingin sa kan'ya. I like your honesty.
Nakita ko ang ngiti ni Jadon bago n'ya hinimas ang likod ng buhok n'ya at umiwas ng tingin sa akin, his eyes shining as the lamp posts near our house started lighting up because it's already starting to get dark.
Why would he like me? We fought. I showed him how I act when I'm angry. I've embarrassed myself in front of him numerous times. Why would he like me?
Kaya nang tuluyan nang maka-alis si Jadon sa amin, hindi ko mapigilang titigan ang mga bulaklak na ibinigay n'ya. Hindi ko rin mapigilan ang pag-init ng mga pisngi ko at ang ngiti kong hindi ko mapigilan.
Mabilis akong tumakbo papa-akyat sa kuwarto ko at kinuhanan ng litrato ang mga bulaklak. I even posted it online without a caption. Hindi ko rin tinag si Jadon.
Umupo ako sa kama ko, hawak-hawak ang bouquet sa isang kamay at ang isa, hawak ang note na kasama ng bouquet. Nakasuot pa rin ako ng uniform, hindi magawang magpalit ng damit dahil inuuna ang bouquet na ibinigay ni Jadon.
It was his handwriting.
Always remember that I'm proud of you. -J
Agad na uminit ang puso ko at kinagat ko ang labi ko. Ipinatong ko ang mga bulaklak sa kandungan ko at hinawakan ang note ni Jadon gamit ang dalawang kamay. I traced his handwriting using my fingers and I smiled when I felt how hard he writes. I can still smell the scent of the flowers and it smells so good that it makes me feel a lot better.
Gusto ako ni Jadon.
Agad akong nakaramdam ng kaka-ibang saya sa dibdib ko at napapikit ako dahil pakiramdam ko, nasa isa akong panaginip.
Nang tumunog ang phone ko, agad ko 'yong binuksan at nakita ang notification ng pag-like ni Jadon sa picture ng bouquet na binigay n'ya. I grinned and I blushed before I sank my face on one of my pillows and screamed.
Thank you, Lord.
Agad din akong napabangon nang mag-notify ang message ni Jadon sa phone ko. I immediately opened it.
Jadon:
I saw the picture.
Did it make you feel better?
Agad akong napangiti at nagtipa.
Azariah:
Yeah.
I feel a lot better. Thank you, Jade.
Jadon:
No problem.
No pressure, Aiah. I'm always proud of you.
Azariah:
Thank you, Jade.
Jadon:
Tell me if you're going to study.
Agad akong napangiti.
Azariah:
Mamaya.
Ano ang gagawin mo kapag nag-aral na ako?
Jadon:
What else? I'll study too.
Azariah:
Talaga? Hmm.
Jadon:
I'll study too. Do you want to video call?
And we did, just so he could prove to me that he's studying too. Pero sa mga pagkakataong napapalingon ako sa kan'ya, I'd catch him looking at me as he thinks about what he's studying. At kapag nagtatama ang mga tingin naming dalawa, napapangiti s'ya at ibabalik ang tingin sa librong nasa harapan.
And whenever we take break times, we would talk about a lot of things and I like that he has so much focus and self-control that when he feels like we're spending too much time talking, he'd remind me that I still have to study.
"Hanani asks us a lot of questions," he said when we started talking about his friends.
Napangiti ako.
"Really?" I asked and Jadon nodded. "What kind of questions?"
"Just random things," he said as he tried to think of one. "Kung ano ang university na lilipatan namin sa college, our plans for the future, and some what-ifs."
"Saan ka magka-college?" I asked curiously.
Napangisi si Jadon at tiningnan ang study table n'ya.
"St. Agatha University. I'll never leave."
Napatawa ako at napatango. Bakit ko pa nga ba tinanong? It's just natural for him to continue studying at St. Agatha University.
"Ano'ng course?" I asked.
"Business Administration," he said.
My eyes shined with adoration and I leaned near the screen. Lalong tumitig sa akin si Jadon.
"Ang mga kaibigan mo? Will they transfer?"
Ngumisi si Jadon at tumango.
"Hiel at Torrero," he said and my eyes widened a bit.
"Dito?" Gulat na tanong ko.
Tumango si Jadon at napatawa nang kaunti.
"Why are you shocked? You like him?" He smiled but there was no humor in his eyes.
"Hindi, ah," mabilis na sagot ko at kinagat ko ang labi ko dahil tsaka ko lang na-realize na masyadong mabilis ang sagot ko nang ngumisi si Jadon.
"Asiel at ACA," he continued. "Adonijah and Hanani at CU. Ida Mishal will study at Soler."
Agad akong namangha at napatango.
"Adonijah will go with Hanani?" I asked.
Jadon shrugged.
"They've always had similar interests."
Napatango ako at ngumiti bago nagpatuloy sa pagtatanong.
"After that?" I asked. "What are your plans?" I asked.
Jadon held his nape and leaned on the table.
"I don't have plans yet," aniya at ngumisi nang kaunti. "Hanani got upset but I honestly can't visualize what I'd do in the future yet."
"I'm not a visionary," he said. Pumangalumbaba ako at pinagmasdan si Jadon habang malalim s'yang nag-iisip. "I focus more on the present," he raised his gaze at me.
We're very different. I am a visionary. I have plans for myself... maybe because my parents have instilled in me that I must always pursue what will make me better in the future. Plans are important because it lays a clear path ahead of you.
Para hindi ka maligaw. Para alam mo at kilala mo ang sarili mo.
I don't understand his beliefs... but I admire him because he's something I am not.
I can't see myself without a plan. Pakiramdam ko, maliligaw ako kung wala akong plano para sa sarili ko. Hindi ako gano'n katatag at katapang para suungin ang bawat araw na hindi ko alam kung saan ako patungo.
It's amazing to know our differences. It makes me feel amazed how every individual is different from one another yet can still form unity through relationships. It's amazing that differences are meant to build and balance each other.
Maybe this is why it was said that people are social by nature. Because although our characteristics perfect the way we are, we still, with no doubt, need other people to fill the gaps we cannot fill on our own.
I will never be someone like Jadon. I can try, but I will not be able to make things and decisions the way he can. That goes the same for him. But if we're together, we would be able to fill the gaps.
That night, I slept thinking about our future and with a question in mind. What would it be like... if I'd continue being with Jadon? I can't wait.