QOTD: what's your favorite tiktok trend?
When there was a knock on our door, Lucas got up from the couch with a muted groan and slowly dragged himself to his room. "If you fuck, please be a medium loud."
"Alright." Kyler agreed.
Medium loud?
As soon as I opened the door, there was suddenly an overwhelming urge to pick Rylan up and squeeze him. He looks so small and soft. "Hey." He greeted with a smile. When a pair of arms loosely slung around my shoulders, his smile widened when he saw Kyler too.
"You look cute." Kyler complimented because yes, he looks very, very cute.
I've never seen him in such a casual outfit before. "Ah," he looked down as if realizing what he was wearing himself, "I wore something old because I thought it might get messy. I'm pretty sure this is my dads shirt." He stepped inside. "I'll look hot next time."
Next time, my tail started wagging.
"You look hot all the time, don't worry." Kyler's arms slid off me after the door was clicked shut.
Before so I could stop myself, "You look really pretty." I blurted out a little too fast and loud.
Rylan seemed surprised for a moment before his eyes crinkled with a smile. "Thank you." He has a really nice smile. Instead of accidentally blurting something else out, I nodded silently.
While he went to put his shoes on our shoe rack, Kyler cupped my neck and ruffled the hairs tickling my nape. "You nervous?"
Nodding bashfully, "It's already hard being around you all the time but now I'm around two people I like so I'm a lot more nervous." I mumbled, silently hoping Rylan wouldn't hear.
"Just relax, it'll be fine." He smoothed my hair out and let his arm drop back to his side. Immediately, I missed his touch.
_____
Kyler and Rylan get along a lot better than I originally thought. I knew they were interested in each other but I wasn't sure how far that interest went past sexually. It turns out, it's a lot.
Kyler made it seem like he might've only been interested in Rylan for my sake but watching him laugh at something Rylan said made me think otherwise.
He only smiles at me like that.
Watching them interact was more interesting than I thought it'd be. It was like seeing your two favorite things that usually would have nothing to do with each other come together and it turning out surprisingly well.
Usually, it was Rylan and I talking while Kyler stayed for a few minutes and eventually left us alone. Now, it was the three of us openly talking with knowledge that we all like each other.
Too blinded by how strong my feelings were for them, I never thought about how jealously would come into play. As I watched Rylan show Kyler a mini mushroom he made out of clay, that matched one of Kyler's own, I couldn't say I felt any.
That's cute, I thought but that was about it.
If it were anyone else, no matter how much I liked them, I would've gradually found myself in a bad mood. Why is he talking to Kyler? Why is Kyler giving him so much attention? I'm right here, talk to me. Pay attention to me, like me more.
With Rylan, I didn't feel any of those things.
Instead- They haven't talked to each other for a while. Should I say something to get them to talk? How can I make them sit closer together, we're in a triangle. They look like they're enjoying each other's company. They're making matching mushrooms. I want them to like each other.
Just as quickly as thoughts of jealously came, they left soon after.
After foregoing without any armatures, since I doubted either of them could make one, they both decided on making mini mushrooms since it seemed easy.
One quickly turned into five until they had a mini clan of deformed mushrooms sitting on the tarp I laid out.
When Kyler got clay on his t-shirt only five minutes in, he stared at it silently before coming to terms that it was gonna get messy. "It adds characters." Rylan told him after seeing the smudge. "If you make more, it'll look purposeful."
"How are you so good at this? We're making the same thing but my mushrooms look like shit."
"They don't look that bad." Rylan tilted his head thoughtfully. I could even admit Rylan's looked a lot better. "I took a ceramics class back in high school and sculpting is pretty similar, just harder."
"Did you go to school here?" Kyler asked.
"Yeah, I've pretty much lived here my whole life. You?"
Kyler shook his head and grabbed some more clay. "I came here for college with my sister, I lived in California and Hawaii before this."
"Oh~" Rylan looked on with interest. "Are you the oldest?"
"I'm a middle child."
Rylan seemed surprised by this, even turning to me for confirmation. "Is he really?" I bobbed my head, trying to give him attention while also focusing on carving a piece of clay out of my design. "I thought for sure you'd be the oldest."
"He acts really grown up-y." I agreed. "He cooks all
the meals, cleans, does most of the laundry, and he takes Sammy outside a lot." As I thought about it, "All I do are the dishes.."
Maybe I should do more.. I silently thought. I didn't realize how little I did compared to him.
"You're still in school and you have a job now." Kyler explained. "College is stressful. Cleaning doesn't take much time so I'd rather you not have to worry about it."
My hands paused in the clay, not having expected that answer. Ah, he really is-
Rylan glanced at me when the silence dragged on longer than it should've. "Sounds like he has a crush on you."
"A crush?" Kyler's gaze joined his. "A bit, yeah."
Those times he washed my workout clothes so I could have fresh ones the next morning, when I'd come home from school to find my room vacuumed, when I wake up to breakfast and come home to dinner, when he takes Sammy outside so I don't have to wake up early and do it, how he hardly smokes because of me anymore, all those times I've opened the fridge to see it fully stocked..
I stared at my hands for a moment while everything he's done for me played back in my head.
He let me stay with him for months without even paying a third of the rent until I found a job at my own pace.
He let- He encouraged me to use the spare room for all of my larger sculptures so they wouldn't be cramped in my room even though it's his workout room.
I silently wondered if I've ever thanked him for those things. Sure, I always mention a quiet, passing 'thank you' anytime he does something but I don't think I've ever told him how much I appreciate the stuff he does. Because it's a lot, he does a lot for me.
Even before, when I was only his client, he offered me a place to live when he didn't have the money to cover rent by himself.
I wouldn't say it aloud, we weren't dating so I probably didn't have the right to, but I loved him.
Would he do the same for Rylan? Would he end up doing little things that eventually balled into much larger things that Rylan couldn't help love him for?
Would he stop smoking completely for Rylan?
Would Rylan appreciate those things more than I did?
Unbeknownst to them, I mentally promised myself that I'd start doing more for him, in hopes to pay back at least half of what he's done for me.
Is this what it feels like to be loved? Does he love me?
Even if he didn't, this felt a lot like being loved. So even if he didn't, I'm grateful for what I have now. Because this feeling is nice, knowing someone is putting me first.
I wanted Rylan to know what that felt like, specifically from Kyler.
I wanted to give them both that feeling from me. If only we were- "Can we all date?"
I didn't think about the words before I said them and if I could go back and do it again, I would do the exact same thing. Because I'm selfish. I'm selfish and greedy, and I want them both to myself without any doubts that they could be someone else's.
I was supposed to wait but- "Date?" Rylan asked. "Yeah, sure." He easily agreed and a moment later, he leaned over to kiss me. "Sounds fun."
I watched him lean back and pick up his clay, unable to comprehend how easily he agreed. He kissed me after saying yes- "Oh," he glanced towards Kyler, "it's cool, right? I like you both so I just assumed.." He trailed off but Kyler immediately nodded.
"Yeah, I wanna date you both."
"Cool." Rylan smiled down at his clay, almost like he didn't want us to see him smiling, and then to distract us, "Look at this, it looks like Toad."
Boyfriend. Me. Two boyfriends. Me and boyfriends. Two.
Unable to stop myself, "It's that easy?"
They both glanced at me. "What is?"
"Dating..?" The word sounded foreign and I was almost afraid to say it. I heard him say yes, they both said yes, but something in the back of my head was convincing me that I made it up.
"Yeah." Rylan nodded. "I was gonna ask you guys out later today anyways, you just did it before me. I would've done it last time but you were still in heat."
"Then we're dating right now? All of us?"
"Yeah, so change my name in your contact."
"Okay." I scrambled to find my phone, even with wet clay on my hands. "To what?"
"Oh- you didn't didn't have to do it right now. I was mostly joking anyways." He tried to soothe with a comforting laugh, seeming to find my actions cute. "Well, if you're doing it anyways," he turned towards Kyler, "what should it be?"
"How tall are you?" Kyler checked and Rylan's mouth opened before closing.
"I don't know what that has to do with the question but now I don't want your input." He pretended to turn away and ignore Kyler, only making him chuckle.
"Let me see your phone?" Kyler asked after he wiped his hands on a towel. After handing it towards him, he wiped my phone of any clay and hummed at the name displayed. "Rylan, very original. I like it."
He typed something in and deemed it 'complete'. As he was going to hand it back, Rylan asked if he could put Kyler's in which I nodded eagerly too.
Is this what boyfriends do? It's fun.
"All you did was add a mushroom emoji."
"Fitting, right?" Kyler seemed pleased with himself so Rylan only clicked out of it with a puff of amusement.
"I guess~" When he clicked into Kyler's contact, he quickly looked up after seeing the same, "You already changed it? And you're lying?"
Kyler shrugged silently while I leaned over to see. Kyler (favorite boyfriend). It wasn't true nor untrue, so I only smiled and watched as Rylan deleted it and added a weightlifting emoji. They're both my favorite.
Rylan handed it back after that and I stared at both contacts happily. "I'll probably put 'baby' or something for you." Then he squinted at Kyler thoughtfully, "..I need to change yours."
"What is it?"
"'Hot Roomie'."
Kyler thought about it, "You can keep it." He seemed pleased enough, to the point where Rylan actually kept it.
_____
For the next few hours, I had to keep reminding myself that I'm dating someone- two someones.
My mind almost couldn't comprehend how they could like me. Someone finally likes me the way I like them, the realization had a warm feeling setting in my stomach. It's nice.
I wonder what my mom would say. The urge to call her was strong but spending time with Kyler and Rylan was more important to me.
With all my art supplies and mini sculptures set aside, we were now lounging in the living room while we waited for our food to get here. Currently, Kyler was testing Rylan, after he deemed himself an expert on horror movies. "Who's he from?"
"Stephen King."
"That's-" Kyler glanced at the picture on his phone, "You know that's Chucky."
"Yes." Rylan nodded in agreement. "Chucky, from Stephen King's movie. The one with the ballon."
"You know you're wrong."
"Show me a different one." When Kyler pulled up a different picture, "You can't tell me that's not from one of Stephen King's movies, the one with the twins and some hotel."
"That's fucking Annabelle."
"Show me one more." Rylan promised him he'd get this one right. When Kyler found a new picture and showed him, "Oh." Rylan's tone was monotone. "That's Freddy Krueger."
Kyler pocketed his phone and turned away. "Stop talking to me."
Just to be sure, "That was actually Stephen King, right?"
Since Kyler wasn't facing him anymore, Rylan nodded at me.
Rylan patted Kyler's back, in what I'm sure was meant to be a soothing way . "You're very passionate about movies, huh?" He rubbed his back. "You can teach me about them later, yeah? Cheer up big guy~"
Before Kyler could give Rylan an entire paragraph about why he never wanted to be called 'big guy' again, the doorbell rang, making my ears shoot up.
"I'll get it." I told them before they could get up.
On my way to the door, I made a mental note to never bring up horror movies around them together.
After grabbing the food and kicking the door shut, I realized maybe the mental note wasn't necessary. I wasn't sure what happened in the ten seconds I was gone, but when I came back, they were kissing.
After staring for a creepy amount of time, I joined them on the couch.
________
uh didn't feel like writing anymore so i stopped sorry 🧍
if i follow you back, don't get creeped out. i'm just tryna be besties okay 🙄✋🏽
maddie <3