"She's a dangerous woman, the kind that plays with fire and with such wildness in her heart.
So many men who try to tame her always fail, for they never understood that the forest in her was sown from the start.
In the moonlight alone her secrecy is revealed, she has the spirit of a wolf that belongs only to herself, to the earth and to the dark."
Nikita Gill
"Jack," I breathed, my voice cracking under the pressure of my amounting fear.
He didn't acknowledge my words. The young Alpha Male continued to face off against the approaching beast with no hesitation. He stepped forward once, twice - slow measured steps that closed the distance between him and the wolf.
I looked past him, my eyes fixed on the wolf that did not slow his approach, watching every single movement like one would with an oncoming predator.
Thane bared his teeth at Jack, those sharp fangs bigger than I knew to be on usual wolves. He was larger than I had seen in any Alpha before. His claws longer, paws larger, fur thicker; and I recalled what he had told me some days ago, that he was not like other wolves. There was no question of that now.
My breath caught in my throat at the magnificence of him.
Male shouts cut through the mounting tension. Beta Kyle ran towards us, stopping at my side so abruptly he stumbled over his own feet. He was panting and red faced, as if he had sprinted miles to get here. How he knew of what was about to occur I couldn't be sure.
"What the hell is happening?" He shouted, wide eyes on his Alpha. He made a move to step towards the two Alpha's squaring up but I was quick to tug him back, my hand fisting tightly in his shirt. Like hell was he about to walk in between two furious Alpha's. They would tear him to pieces in seconds.
The Beta male was quick to growl at me and I had no problem offering him a snarl of my own, one just a vicious. I was in no mood to be challenged right now. I shoved him away from me roughly, just as I saw Beta Maria and Eli appear behind him. Neither wolves stepped closer, both tense as they eyed me and the Alpha males with horror.
"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" I hissed at Beta Kyle. He scowled and bared his teeth at me, looking all too ready to fight me on it until we were interrupted.
"Your young Alpha has issued a challenge," the female enforcer called out from behind me, her voice strong and unwavering, drawing his attention away from me. "It is within our Alpha's rights to accept. No one is to interfere."
Beta Kyle faltered.
He looked towards me, as if looking for confirmation. I nodded once, grimacing. His shoulders slumped.
When he turned back towards the Alpha's, horror twisted his features. "Fuck," he swore.
Jack had shifted. The change quick and almost instantaneous, the male leaping towards Thane with recklessness.
Jack looked so small in comparison. Thanes wolf towered over him.
"He'll be killed..." Beta Maria gasped.
He would.
I could do nothing but watch on in terror, my body completely frozen. I couldn't look away.
Jack attacked first, jaw swinging towards Thane's side with a furious snap of his teeth. But Thane lunged away from the attack, and swiped back at him. Sharp claws cut through Jack's flesh and I heard a collective wince at the sight of first blood spraying across the dirt.
Jack wouldn't last five minutes if this continued.
"Alpha Harris can command Alpha Athen to stand down. Why has he accepted the challenge at all?" Eli asked in a sharp tone.
Jack lunged again but left his right unguarded. Thane was there in a heartbeat, and ripped a small chunk of fur and flesh from his front leg.
"He didn't challenge him as an Alpha. He didn't issue an official challenge," the male enforcer - who had not looked away from the fight since it began - answered simply.
"Then do something!" Eli snapped.
"Your Alpha," the female enforcer seethed, taking one step forward, "threatened his mate. He disrespected her, and he disrespected their bond. It is within his rights to retaliate in any way he sees fit. Right now he is not an Alpha, he is a pissed off male who has been disrespected one too many times."
I felt their eyes on me, but didn't dare look away from the fight. Not as Thane's movements turned towards the offensive, his movements quicker, harsher and more determined to force Jack into a painful submission as he attacked again and again before Jack could defend himself. It was brutal to watch. And yet I couldn't tear my eyes away from the horrid scene.
"Oh Gods," Beta Maria whimpered. "Oh Gods."
A wolf's whine hit painfully sharp against our ears. Thane had his mouth around Jack's legs, teeth digging deeply into the flesh as Jack did his best to buck and writhe from the hold.
I felt sick.
Gore didn't bother me, violence didn't bother me. But this? Watching two males I cared deeply about tearing into each other without hesitation?
"If you don't do something he'll be slaughtered!" Eli thundered.
Jack's claws were swiping at Thane, finding purchase in his stomach and slashing at the vulnerable flesh. But Thane didn't flinch, and his teeth didn't release from Jack's leg, his jaw clenching tighter and tighter.
"Eli..." Beta Kyle breathed, grabbing the angry male's forearm to hold him back as if he thought the Idaho Head of Training really was stupid enough to fight an enforcer.
"Then your Alpha should have behaved better." The female enforcer flashed her canines at Eli and I saw the male blanch at the sight. "No one interferes."
"Fuck that," I spat.
Everyone looked towards me.
I didn't meet their gaze.
No one stopped me as I strode towards the fight, every instinct in my body screaming at me to stop. What I was about to do was insane. It was dangerous. It was fucking stupid, and I'd be lucky to survive.
But I wasn't about to let Jack be torn apart. And my fear wasn't enough to stop me.
Because I was angry.
Angry that either of these males thought they could fight for me as if I had no free will, as if I could not protect myself, or claim retribution for my own. And Jack had no right to fight for me at all, when it was clear all he was fighting for were his own misguided, selfish desires. I had made my intentions towards Thane clear. I had told Jack no.
So I walked right into the middle of their battle, despite the thundering of my heart in my chest, or the way my hands shook at my sides, or the way my body tensed with every step closer.
The two wolves continued to thrash against one another, heavy paws kicking up the dirt around them. It was a whirlwind of movement too frantic to decipher any safe route into the centre of the carnage.
"Stop it," I demanded, when I was too close for safety. Ducking from their wild limbs and sharp claws. One of Jack's legs kicked out and hit me heavily in the thigh. I stumbled for only a second, hissing at the pain, and forcing myself to lunge into the thick of their fight. I managed to grab at the scruff of Thanes neck, yanking at the wolf with all my might.
The dominant male released his prey within an instant, staggering backwards in his humongous wolf form at my unexpected presence by his side. He was still snarling, his muzzle stained with Jack's blood, hackles raised and head lowered as his upper lip curled above his deadly incisors. He allowed me to touch him, allowed my hands to grab at his thick fur without complaint. But he didn't take his eyes from Jack.
The brown wolf stayed low to the ground, unable to stand on his ruined leg, the wound so much worse than it had seemed at a distance. I could see the torn skin and muscle, and the gleam of bone beneath the blood.
Jack made no effort to move, the wolf panting against the blood stained dirt. I wasn't sure he could move.
Had this fight lasted any longer he would be dead.
I saw Eli start towards Jack.
"Stay where you are." I fixed him with a sharp look and the male was wise enough not to question it. The two enforces shifted closer to the Idaho wolves, as if to enforce my instruction should Eli disobey it.
When I looked back towards Jack I found him already watching me.
"Shift back," I commanded.
He didn't move, only whined quietly. I stepped towards him, and watched as his head lowered submissively towards the ground.
"Shift. Back."
Jack's body shuddered. He shifted slowly back into his human form. It looked agonising as his body was forced to shift against his injuries, and brown fur transformed to pale, torn skin drenched in his own blood.
It was a a miserable sight to see. An Alpha Male reduced nothing but a sweaty, panting, bleeding mess of shredded limbs.
"Get up."
"Em-" He coughed, voice too hoarse to speak. His head hung low, eyes clenched shut as if he couldn't bare to look at me.
Behind me Thane growled and I felt his wolf step closer to me - his fur brushing against my legs. I kept my hand in his fur, holding tight to stop him from leaping out in front of me.
"Get. Up," I hissed.
Jack tried to push himself up from the ground, arms shaking with the considerable effort it took just to lift his upper body. With a grunt, he'd managed to gather himself to a sitting position, but his leg had yet to heal in any way considerable enough to support his body.
So Jack continued to sit on the dirt, shoulders hunched into himself, chest heaving.
A pitiful sight that tugged at the smallest morsel of my sympathy. This was not a loss he would take lightly. And I knew this day would haunt him for a long time.
So I took pity on him, I dropped down to his level, crouching low to the ground, and leant in close so he could hear my next words clearly and without any opportunity to misunderstand.
"You do not get to fight over me Jack, like I am just some object you can win in battle," I uttered, lowly. "You have no say over me. You cannot force me to do as you wish, you cannot bend me to your will. You do not get to control me."
"I'm so sorry," he breathed, looking the most broken that I had seen him since his mates death. His eyes were wet and for a second I honestly thought he would be reduced to tears in the middle of his territory with all of his inner pack watching.
"I know you are," I sighed, deeply. It was as if all the building resentment I felt for him was released with one breath. And yet still... " I cannot forgive you for this, not yet."
"And him?" He mustered the effort to lift his eyes from the ground towards Thane who still lingered behind me. Even now, reduced to so little, his bitterness towards the the other male was clear.
"He," I growled through gritted teeth, "Is of no concern to you. He and I are nothing to do with you. Do you understand?"
"I-I..." his voice cracked, emotion welling in his throat.
"I don't want to see you again for the duration of our stay here."
It was hard to gather any more sympathy for a male who still could not seem to comprehend that what I wanted was above his own desires.
I looked towards the three Idaho wolves watching on, their expressions a blend of fear, disbelief, and overwhelming relief that their Alpha was still alive. My features were hard as I called out to them, "See to your Alpha, and make sure he stays the hell away from me before we can get the fuck out of here."
My relationship with Jack Athen was irrevocably dead.
There was no coming back from this.
Beta Kyle nodded once, throat bobbing nervously as he did.
I didn't wait for further confirmation, rising to a standing position once again and turning to face the Alpha wolf now silent behind me.
I met his silver eyes and hoped my expression accurately showed the disappointment I felt a the sight of him - bloodied and exhausted. I said nothing, and walked right past him towards the cabin we were to stay in for the night, knowing that he would follow me.
***
When Thane emerged from the bathroom of our cabin, now in his human form, my attention was caught first by his exposed skin. Dressed only in loose black shorts, Thane's entire torso was on show, and I could clearly see the harsh lines carved into it. They wounds were red, still wet with blood, and looking sore as hell.
Jack's claws had gone deeper than I had thought.
His hair was damp, dark tendrils hanging limp against his forehead and I could see he'd tried to quickly wash the dirt and blood from his face. It made little difference considering the rest of him. Jack's blood was visible against his throat, smeared across his collar bones and staining his forearms and his hands. His own blood painted his chest and abs.
"You're angry," he said before anything else, eyeing me warily. I was barely able to drag my gaze away from his battered body at first, my vision blurring.
If I hadn't stopped the fight, how many more wounds would he be sporting right now?
"Am I?" I levelled him with a flat stare, ignoring the tears that wanted to fall. My fists balled at my side and I stiffened at the sight of him standing before me. "I had told you he was mine to deal with. You had no right to fight him like that."
The worst of his injuries were the ones across his chest, the slashes carved deep into his skin, but cuts were spread across his arms, his knuckles were split and swollen, and I knew bruises would form everywhere within the next few hours.
"He could have killed you! What was I supposed to do?" He snapped, not bothering to leash his irritation as he shifted closer. I didn't miss the way he tried to hide his wince at the movement. He was in pain, regardless of how well he tried to hide it.
"You could have been killed," I shouted back, "You could have been hurt - more than you are now." My mouth quivered as I fought back a sob. There was a hot flush burning across my face and I knew I must have seemed like a volatile mess of emotions. But the fear I had been holding onto so fiercely for the last half hour was now evaporating, and it's its place stood the weight of crushing relief. Relief that he was alive, relief that I had not lost him.
He paused, and his eyes widened at my words, at my tone.
"Emily..." he sighed, mouth somewhat agape, reaching out for one of my hands.
I flinched away, crossing my arms tightly against my chest instead. I couldn't bare to touch him right now, knowing how close I was to falling apart entirely.
His hand fell and clenched at his side. He didn't attempt to reach out to me again, something close to devastation in his expression.
Did he not understand how harrowing it had been to watch him battle Jack? Not only was he, my mate, in danger; but I had to watch him tear apart a male I had once loved. It hardly mattered if Jack had wronged me since, he had been my closest friend throughout childhood and to see him in so much agony was still heart wrenching. I hadn't wanted it to end like that. Even if I understood that this was how issues were settled within our community, it didn't make watching it any easier.
I had been so scared watching them fight, torn between my history with Jack and my future with Thane to know anything more than wanting desperately for both of them to survive.
"After we first slept together you said... you said you weren't like other wolves. You didn't heal. Those scratches on your back didn't heal. For any other wolf they would have been gone within minutes. And now..." I asked, voice breaking as my tears finally began to fall. I glared at the deep wounds carved into his chest and torso from Jack's claws. "You're not healing are you?"
"No."
"And if he had seriously injured you? If he had bitten you, torn a chunk of flesh from you? That wasn't your fight to claim, Thane. That's not how I wanted to settle things. And I certainly didn't want to see you get hurt."
He grimaced, reaching out to me again. I didn't find him this time, and allowed him to pull me into his arms despite the wounds on his chest.
"I'm sorry. I am," he said sincerely, pressing a bruising kiss to temple. "But he left me no choice. I cannot for a second show weakness amongst the packs, and after all that had happened, after he continued to disrespect you, especially after our mating became public, I had to retaliate. To leave his insolence unchecked, would be to question my own authority."
"I know," I mumbled, feeling so stupid as I continued to cry. "I understand, I do. But I still wish you hadn't."
And for a moment I honestly hated his position, and I hated this need to enforce the image of an unquestionable, vicious male of great power that he had cultivated throughout his lifetime.
"He will heal," he assured. "And with time, so will I."
The irony was that Jack would heal within days, far quicker than Thane would, despite the severity of his injuries.
"Why don't you heal? Why are you different from other wolves?" I murmured, not entirely sure I wanted to know the answer. "I've been too caught up in the newness of this relationship to have demanded answers before now. But I need to know."
[I think the deeper into this book we get, and the closer to the end we are, the harder I find it to write. each chapter feels more and more important and seems like there's more pressure behind it like I have to get it right. but i'm enjoying writing it regardless. also this book was only meant to be 26 chapters so I love that we're now at 29 and still going]