I shuddered against my thin sweater as the cold wind drifted past me blowing tendrils of stray hair that tickled my face and neck. Other than the fact that my teeth were chattering there was something satisfying about the night.
The stars were twinkling across the sky, some stars bigger than others making me wonder if I was looking at another planet instead. The moon was full and out of amusement, I used my thumb to block it out.
I was glad that I chose to walk home instead of accepting a ride from my family. Besides the bite of the cold. It was beautiful outside. Looking up at the sky made me realize how small I was and it made my problems seem even smaller.
I let out a contempt breath as I reached my driveway. My breath hung in the air a while and then dissipated as I walked through it.
I turned the doorknob and entered the house. I was immediately engulfed in the warmth of my home. The smell of chocolate was in the air and my stomach rumbled in anticipation of sinking my teeth into whatever my mother was baking with a nice cup of hot chocolate.
I heard laughter and my eardrums hummed as my brain registered the familiar laugh. I paused stopping and staring at the direction the sound came from. "These are scrumptious. My mother loves to bake."
"I wouldn't dare ask whose chocolate brownies taste better," my mother chuckled light-heartedly and my eyes widened. I just stood paralyzed. My feet refused to move.
"On the contrary, whereas my mums have a subtle hint of mint I do enjoy the explosion of the chocolate in yours."
"He is right mam, these are scrumptious," another familiar voice said.
I pried my feet to move in the direction of the kitchen to confirm the faces in my head to the voices I heard. With each step I took, I hoped that maybe I was just sleep-deprived and imagining things.
I walked with so much speed to the kitchen that I eventually stumbled when I stopped at the threshold and then I saw it for myself. My mother smiling, James and Luca sitting at our kitchen table.
Luca's mouth was full as he chewed and my mouth hung open in disbelief. "Peanut," my mother's voice brought me out of my immediate state of shock. I turned my eyes to her and tried to focus intently on her so my eyes wouldn't fall back to either Luca or James. "Why didn't you tell me you invited your friends over for Christmas. I would have prepared the guestroom," she smiled. My mother was too sweet, but I'd circle back to her kindness later because I had other issues at hand.
"Ur-" my brain left me defenseless. It was first registering the image of the three people sitting at my table looking oddly comfortable to be in each other's presence. "I- will- be- back," my words stretched out.
Before turning on my heel to leave I caught a smug look on Luca's face. Of course. It was never easy. What did I think I'd run away from him forever. He knew where I worked and where I lived, running was pointless.
I rushed up the stairs and went straight to the bathroom to take a shower I smelled like paint and thanks to Andrew paint remover. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and my clothes were covered in dust and paint. I immediately stripped and got into the shower.
While I showered I tried to compose my thoughts. The thought of maybe this being a dream occurred more than once and also the thought of me falling, hitting my head, and being currently unconscious on my aunt's front lawn.
Realizing that this was way too vivid to be a dream, I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off. I peeked my head out the bathroom door to make sure no one was in the hallway before I ran to my room with the towel wrapped around my body.
I changed into a grey long-sleeved shirt and put on pajama bottoms. I left my room and walked down the steps. I could hear their voices coming from the lounge so I kept my steps light. I didn't want to draw attention to myself.
I walked into the kitchen and the light was off. I turned the light on and moved to the sink. I was starving, but I was also thirsty. My throat felt dry. I got a glass from the cupboard and went to the tap filling the glass to the brim with water. The dryness soon subsided when the water reached the back of my throat.
I rinsed the glass and left it upside down on the sink and when I turned I was startled to see a fiery pair of green eyes that watched me from the archway. Luca leaned against the archway with his arms folded and ankles crossed.
He was dressed in full black. Black hoodie, black track pants, and black Nike high tops. He looked extremely intimidating. As if I was staring at the face of the devil. So beautiful yet so terrifying.
He didn't look angry nor did he look happy. He looked something in between. He had a tempestuous emotion covering his facial features and it terrified me to not know who I'd be contending with this evening. Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde.
I turned back to the sink and reached for my glass again for more water as a means or an excuse to avoid his scorching gaze. My temperature picked up and I wasn't feeling cold anymore as sweat started to threaten to break free from my skin.
I filled the glass again and drank it in one go. "So this is new for us no hello and no goodbye." His words were filled with humor concealing his true feelings about the situation.
This situation with him was new and I didn't know how to handle this side of him. "What are you doing here?" I asked softly still not turning around to look at him but focusing intently on the water droplets on the glass.
"Me?" He sounded amused. "Well I'm currently having a very awkward conversation," he stated.
I mustered the courage from deep within myself letting out a breath to face him. I felt like apologizing as soon as I met his eyes. I felt every piece of myself crumble. "You know what I mean." My voice was louder this time and more clearer. "What are you doing here in Pasadena?"
He smiled, which then turned into a low rumble of laughter. He shook his head and looked away from me for a moment as he put his hands together.
He stood up straight and began walking into the kitchen. His walk was slow it was like a cat that stalked slowly before it pounced. He stopped at the counter and leaned forward. The counter the only obstacle between us. "I'm simply hunting a coward." He smiled.
My body stilled as I glared at him for calling me a coward he had no right. He didn't know half of the things that were swimming through my head. "Are you calling me a coward?" The anger in my voice was as clear as day.
"If the crown fits princess," he dragged out his words in a sound of tiredness as if he was bored with the conversation.
My jaw clenched. "You don't know a thing-" before I could complete my sentence he interrupted me.
"I know enough." He stood up straight his carefree nature and smile on his face being replaced. A thin line took over his lips and this time his eyes darkened. "I know you run whenever you put into a situation you can't handle instead of talking it through."
I twitched, his words stung because they were the truth that I hated to admit. I do run when there's a situation I can't handle. I count and when the counting doesn't calm me down I leave because I need a minute to think. He witnessed me do it before with Tyler. "There's nothing left to say," I told him. I was stubborn I wasn't going to let him get away with talking to me like that nonetheless.
"That's utter shit and you know it, but let me say the piece I came here to say. You have three days. No more. If you still refuse to accept the feelings you have for me I promise," he emphasized the word promise and his eyes just showed me how serious he was. "I will leave you alone for the rest of your life. You'll never see me or hear from me again, but I'm not about to play hide and seek with you until you decide on how you feel. Three days start tomorrow. Make your mind up."
My heartbeat accelerated. Thumping hard in my ribcage. He stared at me with such fire in his eyes that I quivered and felt like I was standing in direct scorching sunlight.
He turned on his heel immediately and walked out of the kitchen. This was a side of him I didn't know how to handle. This was a side to him that scared me a little. There was no humor and no smile in his ultimatum. Luca was being serious.
I stood in the kitchen a while as I mulled over his words. I was terrified. Not of Luca, but at giving myself completely over to someone. I knew what it felt like to be hurt and I didn't want to feel that weak and vulnerable again. I couldn't go through with it a second time.
Every emotion I felt. I felt it deeply. I love hard and my heart is fragile. I guarded it like a piece of glass that I kept locked away afraid it will break and now it's laying at the edge of a table tethering, one breeze and it will fall and shatter.
If Luca was angry at me. I understood. I thought he would understand how soon everything just changed. How bombarded I felt with everything. The guilt that ate at me for coming between him and Allison.
I was a coward and I should have just explained everything to him before I left England. Then maybe just maybe I wouldn't have been put in such a compromising situation.
I let out a breath and then I heard footsteps come towards the kitchen again. I straightened myself and turned back to the sink to take a minute. "I must say I am very hurt," James said and I froze. "I didn't even get a goodbye."
My shoulders slumped. "James I'm so sorry," I turned around to face him but he was smiling. There wasn't an ounce of hurt in his eyes.
He sighed. "I know you are. Liz, I know you are more than capable of facing your inner conflict and not making it hold you, hostage, due to fear."
I thought carefully about his words and I nodded. "He's really mad at me huh?" I questioned stupidly already knowing the answer.
"You think he's mad at you?" James laughed and I suddenly felt stupider.
"Luca is barmy for you. He's not mad at you. If he was angry he wouldn't have come all this way." James's words made sense. "But he is deeply upset even though he won't admit it. I've never quite seen Luca look at any girl the way he looks at you. It's like he was unable to tear his eyes away for just a second in fear you'd vanish into thin air."
My stomach churned in guilt that I hurt someone that cared so deeply for me. As much as I tried doing what was morally right and also what I thought was right for myself. I ended up doing what was wrong. There was no winning with a conflicted soul like mine.
"But James, how do I know what he feels is real and not just infatuation. He loved Allison he wanted to be with her."
James smiled. "I don't truly believe he cared for her as much as he does you. I mostly felt he held onto her due to rebelling against his parents. Also, the girl had a very tough past. Luca was acting like a knight in shining armor. She was his friend and then Luca learning about how her father used to treat her acted as a protector to her." Something in me quivered. Luca didn't tell me about all of this.
James then paused in thought. "But if you want to know more about the relationship he and Allison shared. I think it's only right he tells you." I nodded. I had to ask Luca every question in my head for myself. I couldn't rely on James to tell me every detail of his past.
A small smile of gratitude formed on my face. "Thank you, James."
He returned my smile with a toothy grin. "Goodnight Elizabeth. I'm almost confident on how this will all end for you both," he said and left before I could ask him how he thought this would end.
I walked out of the kitchen my head this time was buzzing with a million thoughts. I found my mother sitting on the sofa in front of the tv watching a game show. I sat down next to her and she looked at me with a smile on her face. "Your friends are such gentlemen." She said in a voice of approval.
"Thank you for allowing them to stay." I dropped my head on her shoulder and she put her arm around me.
"How was the painting?"
"Enjoyable there is never a dull moment with them," I laughed and my mom chimed in.
I sat up. I was feeling uneasy again. The feeling was more like nausea. I stood up. "I'm going to turn in early," I told my mother and she nodded.
"Good night peanut," she stifled a yawn of her own.
"Good night," I said and walked back up the stairs. As I passed the guest room I could hear James and Luca talk.
"Do you think I should ask her when I get back?" James asked Luca.
"I can't believe you haven't asked her as yet. Bloody chicken."
I heard James scoff. "You one to talk mate."
A small smile crept up on my face hearing Luca sound normal and calm again. I snuck my way to my room and got under the covers.
I lay staring at the ceiling as I let my thoughts all roam free in my head. I needed to ask myself an important question. Was Luca worth the risk of heartache.
I needed to talk to him, but I didn't know how to start. He had no idea how much I cared about him and how would he have some idea when all I did was push him away and try to suppress what I felt.
In my head, it seemed like the right thing to do. How could I express anything I felt for him or let anything happen between us when he had Allison.
Then there was the fact of him being everything I swore myself off. Again he made me a hypocrite because he made me go against everything I believed in. He too was the bad boy type.
I smiled to myself thinking about the glare on his face if I ever told him he was a bad boy. But he would know what I meant. I didn't know how I was going to sleep with so many thoughts in my head.
Three days...
A lot can happen in three days.
Three days to make a life-altering decision the pressure was on, but I wasn't feeling it so much as I started thinking about it. I could fix the situation I put myself in within three days.
I needed to be strong and I needed to trust myself in the decision I was going to make. No more running I wasn't going to hurt myself or Luca anymore.
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A/N
When Luca called Liz a coward. My manners went out the window and I laughed so hard.
Did you enjoy?
Seven chapters remaining my humans.
Bear with me I'm trying to type as fast as my alien fingers can go.
💜 P. A