I had taken yet another shower to cleanse my body of it's impurities, like its thoughts, and since Boss was going to be cooking dinner as a specialty I dressed into a more comfortable dress that wasn't fancy like a club dress but more like a going to visit family dress that covered my arms down to my wrists and down my legs to just above the knees. Since the bruises on that part of my legs was already healed or far and few between, I didn't bother with covering my legs and allowed for them to be bare.
I sat at the table as Boss cooked, a thought twirling around in my mind as I watched the man focus so much on the cooking that it was as if he didn't want to see me at the moment. With what happened earlier, I didn't blame him.
Expert hands tossed ingredients here and there and soon the delicious scent of fried rice and peppers filled the room.
"Alexander?" While his body didn't stop, Boss's head did and looked directly at me with an unreadable look. I wasn't sure if he was mad or perhaps pleased by me calling him by his true name but whatever the answer, I would never be able to read it in his eyes.
"Sophie?" I grinned and waved my hand at him.
"Was there something you needed?" Shaking my head no, I picked up my phone to read some messages.
"Nothing. Just wanted to try something." The messages on my phone were from the J's with explicit emoji pairings that were making me grin and frown at the same time. If only boys. If only.
The next messages I had gotten were from Lexi and Kaitlyn who were asking me to forgive them and to see them soon so that they can apologize in person. I left them on read as I wasn't sure what I wanted to do on that subject. I mean, they were blaming me for things I had no control over. How could I not take offense to that when I would have gladly spent a few days in their shoes?
"Only when we are alone can you call me Alexander," Boss said to me as I put my phone back down. I tried to hide the happiness at being gifted this one small freedom when it came to him as it was so very personal to him. Even though I had kissed him and allowed for my hands to feel parts of his body, this one little thing made me feel almost as good as that kiss had been.
"Yes Boss." And under lidded eyes he grinned at me as he finished putting our meals onto the plates. He brought the food over and sat it before me. Astonished, I let the scents of the meal before me tell me the story.
Fried rice inside of a green pepper with cheese dripping down the sides as if it were some sort of cheese volcano and some sliced beef that was confusing me on the type of sauce it was in.
I waited until he sat down and he had the first bite before digging in. My mouth was in pure bliss as the flavors danced upon my taste buds like they were summoning cthulhu from the depths of my mouth.
"Holy fuck," I moaned and went in for another bite.
"Good?" I nodded and groaned loudly at the second bite that I mixed the beef in with the rice and cheese.
"I swear this is better than sex. Oh my lord." I didn't care that I had just said such things to a man that I was hoping to lay with but the food was just too good. Boss should be a chef when he retires from the mafia business.
"I hope your past boyfriends were not that bad." I gave him a flat look and rolled my eyes.
"Compared to this," to you, " they were basic potato chips. Not even worth noting as a snack." Boss puffed up his chest a little in pride and continued taking more and more bites of his own dish.
"I told you that it was probably not something you had eaten before." And he had been right. I had never eaten such a delicacy. More small talk ensued as we tried to avoid talking about the one thing we wanted to know. If maybe there was something between us. I knew that from my side of things that I was feeling a lot but Boss had always been a brick wall. He never let his emotions get the best of him.
Until earlier I guessed.
I was starting to finish up when a line of thought crept into my head and I stealthily tried to tie it in to the conversation.
"So what was your wife like?" He obviously hadn't expected me to ask that as he choked a bit on the last few bites of rice from his own plate.
"That is quite personal Sophie." I set my fork aside and relaxed against the back of the seat, allowing my belly to adjust to the intake of food.
"I know. I was thinking since we were being open with one another that I'd ask. As a curiosity..." For the span of multiple heartbeats it appeared as if he wouldn't talk about it but with the slight lowering of his shoulders he searched for the words to begin.
"She had hair the color of fresh honey and eyes the color of grass in spring. Her laugh could calm a baby's cry and her hugs could make any problem disappear." A pang entered my heart as I realized that maybe this wasn't a good idea.
"She and I had met before I became Boss while in college for business. She wanted to open up a bakery and make cakes. It was during one of our joint English classes that we had taken notice of each other and after a brief time began a relationship." There was a far away look as he spoke as if he was transported back to that other time with the woman he loved.
"Two years later and we had both graduated, me inheriting what my father had started as Boss and her finally getting her bakery as I set up some new routes so that she would have the money to run it. No sooner had she finally gotten the bakery than I had asked her to marry me. She had agreed and a few months after our marriage she became pregnant. A little girl that she wanted to name after her grandmother who had passed away just after the wedding. Everything was as it should have been." The fairytale time that had been on him like a shawl was ripped away to reveal the storm worn pained man underneath, his eyes narrowing as his story was quickly drawing to a close.
"A rival group that was based a few counties away started to cause trouble in our area and had made open threats towards me and my family but they were not close enough to cause any real harm. Until I found out she had been hit by a car and died, the baby along with her." Darkness seeped into his eyes and the normal boss who was stern and guarded started to come forward, the progress at being closer friends falling away.
"I buried her the following week and two weeks later wiped out the rival gang." I tried to keep my head up to not show emotion but it was more challenging than I could have imagined.
"I'm sorry I brought up such painful memories." His demeanor shifted back to a more friendly one but the sadness stuck to him like sap.
"It is alright. It has been ten years now so I should be able to move forward. She would have liked for me to keep moving ahead." I nodded and gathered up the plates that we had finished, starting on some of the dishes. No sooner had I started cleaning them than Boss came to my side with a towel in hand ready to dry them.
"You don't have to do that," I chided. He took the dishes anyways and wiped them dry before putting them back on the shelves.
"I cooked. It seem only fitting I assist in the clean up." A smile made its way onto my face. He was trying. So could I.
"I never met my true mother or father. I was put up for adoption as a baby and had been in no less than fifteen foster homes. The last one was the worst as it had an abusive father who would beat me and the other foster kids. Since I was the oldest I tried to protect the younger ones so I used myself as a shield and made sure that he couldn't hit them as much as he would have liked." A particularly stubborn stain was sticking to a plate and I scrubbed at it with a little more force, the dark spot disappearing after a little elbow grease.
" I was never allowed long hair as he liked because the mother was jealous that I got more attention from him since he beat me more often. No sooner had I turned eighteen than I got my own place and finished school." I went to reach up to my hair to run my fingers though it but seeing as how my fingers were covered in soapy gunk and the hair was much shorter now, I put my hand back into the water to search for another utensil.
"I had guessed as much. You did care for your hair often." I smiled at the memory of its beauty.
"It was gorgeous. Spent nearly a hundred dollars every month to make sure it was perfect. And now..." I did pause this time and wait for the feeling of a sob to pass.
"The hair complements the person. Your hair looked nice because you looked nice." I kept my face turned away from his to hide my blush. Don't read anything into it, I told myself.
"Thank you." We finished up the dishes in an orderly manner and once making sure the cats had food we sat down on the couch for time to relax. Perse laid down on my lap, ever the little therapy kitty while Donnie curled up against Boss's leg, purring to no end.
"He normally doesn't like people. I guess they just really like you." His hand absentmindedly lowered to pet the cat, the vibrations growing louder as he did. While we relaxed, I turned on some music to listen to while we just kept each other's company.
"Why don't you try to sing for me Sophie?" I let out a laugh.
"Not this again." A lazy grin slid onto his lips and he motioned for the area before the television as if it were a stage.
"It's best to try now than to wait and have the anticipation build. Unless you are a masochist like that." I couldn't believe he just said that and feeling the challenge in his words, I flipped the music to some of my practice songs I had here at home. I made my way up to stand in front of the television and felt the rising panic again. But when I looked at Boss, his eyes were closed as he was waiting to listen.
He was giving me the privacy of my appearance while letting his ears do the work. Where I thought I would freeze, the music came forth from my voice easily if somewhat quietly at first. Confidence boosted the volume up a bit and soon I was back to the original Seraphine voice that commanded audiences to watch and listen.
Once the song was over, I breathed a sigh that was shaky at first but leveled out the more oxygen I took in.
"See, I knew you could do it." I allowed for a smile to brighten my face and took my seat again, the challenge having been met.
"You knew I wouldn't back down from a challenge. That was a dirty little trick." Boss shrugged and kept an air of indifference.
"I don't know what you are talking about." Liar. I let it go and simply just enjoyed the freedom of knowing that if I could sing here in front of the one I loved, I could sing at the club for fans. I needed to let Pam know.
"Sophie, I will have Doctor Gaffigan come tomorrow to clear you and my wound so make sure you are here for that." My eyes glanced down to where I knew the bullet wound to be and frowned.
"Does it still hurt a lot?" Another shrug.
"As long as I don't strain it." Like earlier when he picked me up? My mind went to a dirty place as I pictured him straining as he had his way with my body, his abs flexing back and forth...
Bad Sophie. Stop being so dirty.
"Do you still hurt?" I shifted my body and other than the occasional bruise on my arm or back I felt fine. I even had touched myself a few times the past few days and felt normal inside. Maybe a bit weird but normal.
"All parts are functioning normal and no soreness." The heated gaze he held on my form had me twitching and shuffling around as I tried not to let his heat warm me up inside.
"That's good. I'm glad you were not permanently harmed." My eyes met Boss's and I could have sworn I saw him move toward me a little as if he was about to pounce.
"Nope. It would take the power of Christ himself to take me out." Even though I could see the battle in his eyes where the pain of his past was meeting up with his present feelings of me, he could see that I was right and that his training to make me stronger has paid off. I gave respect to the woman that had Boss's heart. She sounded like an amazing person.
But Boss's heart was turning more and more into a different person than he was in the past. More stoney and less open about his thoughts but he was careful and deliberating of his feelings. He was opening up to me and allowing me to feel his pain and his confusion and I was more than pleased with it. With the love I was feeling for him, I had no doubt that maybe some day Boss may come to accept my feelings.
A little while later, we readied for bed, the cats already curling up at the bottom of the bed. And as Boss once more entered the bed with me, he climbed under the covers so that the only thing between us was mere inches. Once more my feelings flared but after the day we had, I just smiled and fell asleep content with the freedoms and victories I was winning.
And the ultimate prize?
Alexander Dorian's heart.