I slept well that night and woke up feeling safe yet unsatisfied. Helping my body to release didn't have the effect I was hoping for and instead made me long for Boss all the more. But I had no time to dwell on such trivial things as life was to go back to normal. I applied makeup to my face to hide the bruises that were starting to turn a nasty shade of yellow. Once I made sure that Pam was at the club I went down to meet her.
The moment I saw her, the tears broke out and I leapt into her arms and sobbed for a while as she simply ran her hand over my hair as if I was some wounded animal.
"The hair is new but we can work with that. What's troubling you deary? Your trip didn' go well?" So I told her of the trip and Boss's surprise tag-along the whole way up to Boss now staying at my place like some weird roommate. After I was done she took me into her arms once more and tried hard to get me to calm down.
"That wasn' what I was expectin'. I was thinkin' that maybe a shark ate a shoe or somethin'. Not this. Those men are all dead now though. You never have to deal with 'em again. And as fer Boss Man not acceptin' yer feelings, well, from what you said, he had himself a wife. That's hard to get past. But if he is allowin' you to boss him around then I'd take that as a sign from God himself." I had found it odd that he was allowing me to tell him what to do but I didn't want the power of it to go to my head. I just accepted that he was letting me help him and protect him since things were going to get bumpy from here on out.
"And now he is sleeping next to me so I don't wake up screaming and wants to make dinner tonight. I mean, this is Boss we are talking about. He is the leader of the Dorian group, a mafia organization, and yet I saw him wearing blue jeans." Pam's eyes grew wide and she grabbed me gently but excitedly by the shoulders.
"Say wha' now? You said blue jeans?" She slapped her knee and squealed at the vision in her head.
"I've only ever seen that man in a suit. I cannot even picture it in ma' head. My Lord the world has turned on it's axis." She fanned her face and I finally started to smile genuinely and even allowed for a short laugh.
"There it is. That perty laugh of yers that could call down angels from heaven." I wiped at the tears and gave a weak smile as I stood to go to the stage.
"So am I gonna keep singing until I heal or should I wait until I can wear the dresses again?" When I picked up the mic from behind stage and set it up I heard her say over the club speakers,
"That'll be up to you hun. I won't force ya to come back. I wouldn't let you back even 'til your vacation was over anyways. If you think you need more time than that to heal then take it." I smiled and she put on the song I usually sang to warm up to. Only, when the part came up to sing it I froze, fear seeping into me as I felt myself going back to when I had to sing for Mario and his men before I had been taken.
"Seraphine?" The music stopped and I shook my head of the memory, trying to calm my racing heart.
"Sorry. Again please." The beat started back up again and I swayed my hips and arms to loosen the tension that my body was holding up. Yet when the time came for my voice to come forth, I took a step back and covered my lips, tears falling yet again. I couldn't. Or I guess I could sing but the fear that I would just open my eyes and be back in that performance for those men again had me shaking.
Pam ran down after stopping the music and took me into her arms once more.
"They really did a number on ya. Why don't you head home and get some rest? Maybe sing for Boss Man to help yer nerves." I nodded and with a few thank yous to her I left for home.
I had no sooner walked through the front door than I noticed the grocery bags on the counter and at least two stacks of paperwork on the table that Boss was sitting at, hard at work.
"Ah, Ser- Sophie. Welcome back. I'll be done with this in a few moments. Can you please put the groceries away while I enter this information?" I nodded and went to putting them all away, some I had never even heard of before and others I was confused as to what it could possibly go with if he was going to make dinner.
"So Pam tells me that you are too scared to sing. Why?" I had just finished up and was feeding the cats that were excited I was giving them some kibble when I sighed and went back to the hungry little purr boxes.
"Every time I try I'm back in that meeting with M-Mario and his men, singing for them as you had asked me to. Just remembering the whole thing makes my throat close and I can barely breathe let alone sing." I heard his computer close and the shuffling of papers as he was finished with what he was working on.
"I see. She thinks that if you sing for me that it might help you to get over that fear." A personal performance for Boss? Pam had ideas and had mentioned it but I was hoping to just let it come back naturally.
"I don't think I can do that. Maybe for a crowd but if it's just you..." I didn't finish and closed my lips before I said anything more. But it was too late as I had already peaked Boss's interest.
"If it's just me?" I set about to putting the dishes from the drying rack onto the shelves where they belonged. I didn't want to answer. The sound of a chair moving and footsteps approaching had my nerves spiking but not out of the fear that had existed before. Anticipation replaced it as my heart beat wildly at Boss's approach. I could feel his presence behind me but I continued on my task, hoping he would just let it go.
"Why can you not sing for just me Sophie?" Because I loved you and it would make me wet and warm in all sorts of places. I would want you to be mine and to take me and ravish me in the bed you shared with me the past two nights. I would hope that maybe you would have a change of heart and come to love me too.
"You know why." Was all I said. He knew how I felt about him and drunk or sober, the feelings were the same.
"I will need you to elaborate." When there were no more dishes to put away, I had nowhere else to turn to except back to Boss's awaiting gaze. I swallowed and tried to look away from his piercing eyes but I was held, transfixed.
"I... um..." I couldn't tell him what I had thought. Whatever I did I couldn't. My breathing picked up and I felt every part of me come to life as it thought of him doing all sorts of things to me. At the sight of me, he took very slow and careful steps as to not frighten me, coming ever closer. As he approached me, I swallowed again and leaned back against the counter, his arms raising to set on either side of my waist on the counter behind me.
"Yes?" I could smell the coffee he had just drank and the cologne and body wash he liked to use all over his body like a musk. It was overwhelming me to the point that I wanted to reach up and kiss him. I wanted to make his lips touch me everywhere. I wanted his hands everywhere.
"I-" His face was mere inches from mine, the anticipation of it all driving me to shake like an addict in need of gin. Soon his lips hovered just over my own, my breath mingling with his.
"Why can't I hear your singing?" My singing? I would tweet like a bird if he asked me to. All I wanted was a kiss.
"Because I-" I love you, was what I was going to say but in a burst of adrenaline, I pushed my lips to his, the heat within me roaring into a blazing fire that took my breath away. At first my fear was that he would push me away or wouldn't respond but he answered back with a fire just as bright as my own, his arms moving from the counter to wrap around me and hold me closer to him as if I would fall away.
I moaned and circled my arms up around his shoulders and tangled my lips with his in a passionate dance that he was more than eager to lead, like our dancing a week ago. His hands roamed from my back to my waist and thighs and every part he could touch without touching the major areas I wanted him to. Even now he was teasing me but I wasn't complaining. I wouldn't complain that I finally got my kiss from him and he wasn't rejecting me.
He reached down to my thighs and lifted me so that I was straddling his waist, his grunt of pain making me take pause as I had forgotten about his wound.
"What about-" Boss lifted me up onto the counter and let me sit there, his body still pressed against my own as his lips claimed my own once more. I couldn't believe that this was actually happening. Even my drunk self hadn't gotten this far.
I moved to start taking my shirt off but Boss's hands stopped me and even with the fire raging within I paused and pulled my lips away.
"Not today. You are still recovering. Your body needs to heal first." Even if that was the truth, it made me feel rejected and like I wasn't going to get to quell the heat that was still burning within.
"My body wants you. It will be fine." He shook his head and set his hands on my hips in a vice grip that told me he was hanging on to his own control by a thread.
"Heal first. If you would like I can get you off but I will not be entering you today." Though the haze of lust I pealed back the layers of fog around my mind and it started to clear as I thought on if I should let him or just take a step back.
"I..." My hands slid down to his shoulders and against everything that my body was screaming to do, I nodded and pushed him away slightly. As I did I saw the bulge in his pants that was begging to be touched. I may be injured but he wasn't.
"Maybe I could help you," I whispered. His breathing was still heavy but he didn't move to cover himself but took a few more steps back.
"No. It is fine for now. Why don't we both retire to our rooms until dinner. I will make dinner as planned." With that he retreated like fire was on his heels back to his room. For a few minutes I remained on the counter, my fingers wondering to my lips as the phantom feel was still there from the heated kiss with Boss. Even where his hands had been on my sides and hips was tingling. More and more I wanted to just go back to that room and have my way with him but I knew that with what we were both feeling, we wouldn't be able to without hurting one another.
And even if I was healed physically, I still didn't know if I could have sex again emotionally. Torment and suffering was what my mentality had connected with it and although Boss didn't make me feel those things, it didn't mean that in the moment I wouldn't.
I climbed down from the counter and back to the room where I discarded my clothes and laid in bed, urging my body to calm down as my fingers slid over the curves and folds of my body. Again I searched for my release in the pits of lust and when it finally slid over my body like a silk blanket I shook from the force of it and tried as hard as I could to be quiet so the man across the hall couldn't hear my cries of pleasure.
And as shameful as it would be to be caught, I wanted more than anything for just one moment of weakness between Boss and I to help us both reach what we were skirting around by mere atoms. That one breath taking moment that would send us soaring into the souls of one another as if the universe existed not around us, but within us.