Naturally, Kahli spent the rest of her evening probably reading too much into Arlo's words. But she told herself he was simply being nice. Everyone in Portia was nice. And she was an awkward, snarky, dork. She didn't really think she fit in with them. They all had their lives together, and she was just the new girl that stumbled her way in without a damn clue as to what she was doing.
Still, they welcomed her, and though she had only been there a few months, she quickly grew close with Emily, Sam, and Sonia. And, sure, she supposed even Arlo, though she tried not to think too much about it.
Work. She needed more work to do. So the next morning, she made her way into town. It wasn't particularly early, but she was still surprised to see so many people milling about. Nora and Lee were among them, and though Lee seemed to be in the midst of a discussion with Tody, Nora stood off to the side alone. When she spotted Kahli, she smiled and waved, and Kahli stopped to wish her a good morning.
"Nice to see you," Nora said. "Seems like you've been keeping busy lately."
"I'm more of a night owl," Kahli admitted. "And I apparently spend my evenings at the Round Table, now."
Nora giggled. "That's certainly where a lot of people hang out," she said. "Django and Sonia do a great job."
"I don't think I've seen you there."
"I'm not much of a drinker," Nora said. "And I've been really focused on my work with the church. I'm only here for another year and a half." She shrugged. "So, I guess I don't really get out much."
"Strictly business," Kahli commented.
Nora hesitated. "I guess so." She paused. "Actually. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Do you... Are you and Arlo..."
"No," Kahli said quickly. "I mean. What? No. We're friends. Just friends."
But this didn't seem to be the answer she was expecting. "Oh," she said softly. Her brows furrowed slightly, as if confused.
"Did... you think we were... something?"
"I thought maybe you liked him," she said. "Or that maybe he liked you."
Kahli hesitated. "Why would you think that?"
Nora let out a sigh. "You guys seemed to be hanging out a lot," she started. "And... I don't know. I thought maybe..."
Kahli offered her a smile. "Nah," she said, trying to play it off casually "He's all yours."
Nora gave a short, light laugh. "Not really," she said. "I mean. I do kind of like him, I guess. But... I dunno. I kinda told him that, and he kinda turned me down."
"Oh." She started to feel guilty; had she led him to that decision? She had tried to sound unbiased, but maybe she let her own feelings get in the way.
"And I thought maybe it was because he liked you." She met Kahli's gaze. "So, I guess I was just... curious... if you were, well, you know..."
"No," Kahli said. "Ha. No. I don't think he sees me that way."
"But you like him." She smiled.
Kahli pulled her gaze away. "No," she said. "I mean. Yeah. You know. As a friend."
"It's okay," Nora said. "We're too different, anyway. I don't think there'd be much of a future for us, with him wanting to join the Flying Pigs and all. But, for what it's worth, I think he likes you."
Kahli hesitated. "I dunno about that," she said, then shook her head, dismissing the idea entirely. "There... wouldn't be a future for us, either. He's not exactly in a position to have a serious relationship."
Nora's lips twisted to the side. "Maybe," she started slowly. "But, I dunno, I think you're different, you know? Like, maybe he could have both with you."
"That's... sweet," Kahli said. She looked down at her feet, then shrugged. "Maybe. But I... well, it doesn't really matter."
Nora frowned. "Why not?"
Kahli sighed. "I'm not really... relationship material. I don't think I'd handle a break up very well." She shrugged.
"Who says you would break up?"
"You're an optimist, and that's adorable," Kahli started. "I used to be like that. But when the people you need most walk out on you, you kinda get used to being alone. It's preferable, actually. Then there's no one to disappoint you. No one can... break your heart."
Nora frowned. "Oh." She paused. "I don't think he'd break your heart."
"Because I won't give anyone the opportunity."
"You're kind of stubborn, huh?"
Kahli smiled. "Maybe." She shrugged. "But I wouldn't expect anyone to give anything up to be with me. That's the last thing I would want. So, it saves us both the trouble, really. Some people are just better off alone."
Nora met Kahli's gaze. "I think someday, you might see things differently. I hope that for you, anyway. You deserve happiness."
"Thanks," Kahli muttered. She wasn't a fan of all these personal conversations. Why was everyone suddenly confiding in her? And more importantly, was Nora right?
"Sure," Nora said.
"Can I ask you something?" Kahli asked.
Nora seemed surprised. "Of course."
"What are you going to do when you finish your mission?"
She thought about this for a moment. "I suppose I'd go back to the university," she said. "Finish school."
"And then what?"
Nora met her gaze. "I'm not sure," she admitted.
"Would you come back to Portia?"
She hesitated. "I used to think I might. But now I don't think so. I might go somewhere else." She smiled. "There's a big world out there to see."
"Oh." Kahli forced a smile. "Didn't think you were the adventuring type."
Nora blushed. "I don't know if I'd call myself an adventurer," she said. "But there's so much more I could learn about."
Kahli's guilt returned. She couldn't help but to feel like she was the reason that Nora wouldn't come back to Portia. What if she never came? Would Nora and Arlo end up together? Would Nora have stayed in Portia to be with him? Would Arlo have stayed to be with her? Would they have gotten married and had little babies running around in their perfect little town living their perfect little lives?
And Kahli just had to waltz on it like she belonged and ruin everything.
"I'm sorry," Kahli muttered.
Nora's brows furrowed. "What are you sorry for?"
"I dunno," she said quickly. "For asking so many questions."
Nora smiled. "I don't mind," she said. "If I may offer an observation, you seem as lost as I was when I first got here."
"Is it that obvious?" Kahli muttered.
"I came to Portia for my mission," Nora said. "But, I dunno. A part of me thinks I was meant to come here, you know? And I think you were meant to come here, too. Whatever that reason might be. People come to Portia for so many reasons. There's just something about this place. It seems to be just what people need when they need it most. I think we all came here a little lost, but we found home. Even though I'm only here for a short time, Portia feels like home. And no matter where in the world I am, I'll always call Portia home."
Kahli met her gaze. "That sounds pretty smart."
Nora laughed lightly. "Maybe. I dunno. It's just a feeling I have, I guess."
"I like that feeling," Kahli said. "I hope you're right."
"Don't worry about it too much," Nora said. "Focus on living in the moment. Don't let life pass you by."
Kahli smiled. "I'll try to remember that."
"And don't get lost in that workshop of yours, alright?"
"I won't. I promise."
*****
Kahli took Nora's words to heart, and instead of searching for more work for herself, she opted to allow herself a day off. She returned home and saddled Star, then rode towards Amber Island where she let the horse graze while she sat on the edge of the bridge, her feet dangling over the river. She breathed in the scent of the ocean from the nearby harbor and turned her face to the warmth of the sun. Songbirds accompanied the delicate swishing sound of Star's tail and the trickling of the river, and for the first time in a long time, Kahli truly felt at peace. Her mind was quiet; she didn't think about work, about her father, or about Arlo.
"Taking a day off?"
Arlo. How did he always seem to find her? She sighed, cursing silently to herself. All she wanted was one more zen moment to herself. Still, she couldn't help the way her heart leapt at the sound of his voice, and she turned to see him dismounting his own horse on the shore.
"Is that alright with you?" she asked.
Arlo laughed. "I'm not your boss."
"I'm my own boss," Kahli said. "And Boss says I can have a day off."
Arlo stepped onto the bridge, tapping it with his foot. "Still holding."
"You doubt my abilities as a builder?"
"Nah," Arlo said. "Well. Not anymore."
Kahli rolled her eyes and Arlo sat beside her.
"You're interrupting my day off," Kahli said.
"You need a day off from me?"
"Never."
Arlo smiled. "Good."
"Shouldn't you be working?" Kahli asked.
Arlo shook his head. "Day off."
"So, what are you doing wasting it here with me?"
"It's not a waste."
Kahli met his gaze. "Were you looking for me?"
Arlo hesitated. He smiled. "Just passing by."
"Ah." Kahli turned her gaze back to the river. She let her feet swing out from under her. "Well, I guess I find your company tolerable."
"And I yours."
"You know," Kahli started conversationally. "I couldn't help but notice that I don't know that much about you."
"To be fair, I don't know that much about you," Arlo pointed out.
"Sure you do," Kahli said. "You know I came here because my father told me to and he walked out on me when I was little."
"That's all I know."
"That's all there is to know."
"That can't be true," Arlo said. "What was your life like in Barnarock?"
Kahli shrugged. "Pretty average and boring," she said. "I didn't do anything exciting. Went to school. Graduated. Did nothing except work. Came here."
"Dreams and aspirations."
"None."
"There must have been something."
Kahli thought about this for a moment, then frowned. "No," she said. "I really didn't care much about anything." She hesitated. "Maybe, at one point, I used to dream about going off on some adventure with my father, but... I grew up." She sighed. "But enough about me." She met his gaze expectantly.
"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but my life wasn't that exciting. Born and raised here."
"And you want to go on some big adventure with the Flying Pigs," Kahli said.
Arlo laughed lightly. "Yeah, maybe. Something like that." He hesitated. "Maybe I'll take you with me. You know, so you can live out your own dream of being an adventurer."
Kahli met his gaze briefly and smiled. "Yeah. Maybe."