"Belle."
I looked up, startled at the tone of his low voice. Warren had called my name from my window, sounding tortured. I moved to set my book aside, to go to him, but he didn't give me the chance. He was beside me in less than a second, his head propped on my shoulder. His pose touched and scared me in equal measures. His eyes were closed yet he wasn't calm. I sensed that he was in such agony he was fighting tears. I wanted to hold him but I wasn't sure what to do yet because I didn't know what was wrong. "Are you okay?"
His brows dipped in pain then he shook his head silently.
His pain knifed into me and it was all I could do to keep my voice steady. Following my first instinct, I wrapped my arms around him and soothed, "It's okay. I'm here."
He shifted so fast I didn't see the movement, just felt the gentle pressure he kept on my wrists. And then he was stretched out on my bed with his long legs draped over the edge. His head was in my lap and my arms were on his chest. His eyes were closed but I saw his thick lashes tremble.
I didn't know what to say. I just gazed at his face, feeling my own tears well up. To keep from falling apart, I begged, "Warren, please tell me what's wrong."
"I..." He took a deep breath, spoke softly again. "I made a fatal error in judgment that nearly cost my mother's life."
I gasped, instantly understanding the pain and guilt he was battling. Still, I had to know... "Where is she?"
"Private hospital - as is my family." He paused, then a single hot tear fell onto my arm. "I could not bear it, Belle. I know I must return yet I recoil from the thought."
And he'd come straight to me.
The knowledge humbled me, left me slightly stricken. I calmed myself and, wiping his tear away, I said, "Hey, it's okay. I'm here for you and I'm coming with you. Everything will be fine, you'll see."
He looked up at me and his eyes held such a potent mixture of pain and gratitude that I had to drop mine and swallow the lump in my throat. "Always optimistic," he mused, then sat up. He dropped my arms only so he could pull me closer. He held me tightly and I clung to him, suddenly needing this almost as much as he did. After a bit, he sighed, "We must leave. I believe my family misses me."
"Okay, sure." I drew a breath, getting myself under control, and located my shoes.
I was alone in the house so I wasn't surprised when he took me out the window. His car wasn't in the driveway - which meant he'd literally just run to me. It still awed me, the way he'd automatically turned to me.
As we went to my car he was only holding my hand, needing the child-like comfort in that simple touch. Ever the gentleman, he opened the door for me and I noticed that he intended to drive. "Maybe I should drive."
His lips twitched in slight amusement. "I am no danger to society."
"It's not society I'm worried about."
"I would never endanger your life."
"I thought I was part of society," I half joked.
His eyes were powerful as he replied, "Never." Still, I knew he'd understood me when he added, "Do not worry about my stability."
I nodded and got in. Warren got in too and even as he brought the car to life, he had my hand trapped in his.
He didn't speak.
All through the drive, his eyes were fixed on the road as he occasionally brought my hand to his lips. It hurt to look at him, to see him like that. After a while I looked away, seeing nothing out the window. I needed to control the sobs that threatened to erupt and the tears that kept filling my eyes.
When I turned back to him he looked away. He'd been watching me and in the split second before he averted his eyes, I read a heartbreaking emotion in them.
I couldn't help it - I reached over and tucked his hair out of his face. "Warren," I breathed, totally at a loss.
He'd pulled up but he froze, his head down. After a moment he said, "Come," and got out.
I couldn't move, couldn't breathe as I realized how helpless I was. There was nothing I could do to shield Warren from this pain or even lessen it. I didn't know how to comfort him and I felt as if I was letting him down. He deserved more, so much more.
His touch on my chin was my first sign that he hadn't left. He gently cupped my chin and turned me to face him. He was at my door, obviously holding it open for me. When I looked into his eyes they were tender - as was the slight smile tilting one side of his gorgeous mouth. His eyes held only a hint of vulnerability but what I'd seen seconds ago was now hidden in their depths. Shifting back, he gently plucked my hand out of my lap and helped me out of the car. He drew me into his arms and murmured, "Thank you."
"I haven't done anything," I mumbled guiltily. His eyes drifted to the hospital entrance and closed. I held him tighter, wishing I could take him from this ordeal.
"Debatable," he said then reluctantly let go, again taking only my hand.
We entered the hospital and just being here threatened to overwhelm me. Funny, I'd landed here a thousand times myself but I never got over the fear, the pain from three years ago, the night I lost my mother in a hospital... Then there was Keith's heart attack a couple of months back...
The fact that it was Veronica in here only made things worse. In many ways, it felt like my mother again. I knew I had to be strong for Warren. I just didn't think I was that strong.
I'd been following blindly while Warren towed me along pristine corridors but he suddenly stepped back as if dodging something. I stepped out of the way then glanced around the corner as I asked in concern, "What is it?"
Warren's hand slipped from mine and he sat down on the floor, his legs drawn as he leaned against the wall. I slid down next to him, loosely twining my fingers with his comfortingly. His family was around the corner - and now that I had my back against the wall I could also see the doctor.
It tore at my heart to see them so devastated. Roger seemed calm but even I could tell he was a blink away from losing it. Ashley was a total basket case. I could tell that she'd been crying long and it was Roger who was soothing her and keeping her sane. As for Kyle... I swallowed hard. I'd seen that same look on my dad's face in a similar situation, the one that looked as if he'd been hit by a truck.
Warren's words were so soft I barely heard him. "I have no wish to be with them while they receive this news."
"Why, what's he saying?" I asked, focusing on the doctor. It was easier.
" ... in a coma that we are yet to fully understand, so I'm afraid there isn't much we can tell you about it." As Warren spoke, I watched the doctor's lips and realized he wasn't repeating the man's words. He was speaking at exactly the same time as the doctor, lifting the very thoughts from the latter's mind. "As yet we cannot determine how long she is likely to be under or what the short or long-term effects will be. To be honest, Lord Strandton, we need a little more time to analyze her condition. I'm very sorry that I don't have better news."
Warren was silent while Kyle asked a question and didn't relay the doctor's reply. I shifted against him, timidly stroked his hand. After a moment he sighed and got up, taking me with him. And then we'd rounded the corner.
Ashley's head snapped up. "Belle!" she called in relief and raced over to me, wrapping me up in her arms. I embraced her too even though I was surprised. I didn't understand why she was so happy to see me.
"Hey," I said, holding her back. "Are you okay?"
"No." She shook her head, looking as young as she passed for. "No, I don't think so. I'm glad you came."
We were walking towards the others now. Kyle had crushed Warren to him. "Son. Your mother is..."
Warren drew back slightly and looked into his father's eyes. "Father." That sounded like a command.
Kyle gazed at his son for a little longer then stepped back, relaxing slightly. Whatever he'd read in his son's eyes comforted him. Roger stood off to the side, seeming invisible, his eyes protectively on Ashley. Ashley herself was gazing up at Warren as if he was the solution to all her problems. "We can go in," Kyle told Warren, "but not for long."
Now even Roger's eyes flickered to Warren and it felt as though they all held their breaths for his next words. And that's when I realized the weight they all placed on Warren. Even Kyle was leaning heavily on him. And I was afraid the pressure would crush him. He was vulnerable too right now and needed support.
So I let go of Ashley and drifted closer to him, took his hand. His hold tightening on mine was the only indication that he'd noticed. Still looking at Kyle, he said, "Very well, then."
Kyle led the way in with Ashley and Roger coming last. Ashley began to sob again, her eyes locked on Veronica's still form, and Roger put his arms around her. Everyone's gaze centered on the bed and for a second there was no air in the room. Veronica's beauty and fragility were even more pronounced because she was so pale. Her lovely red hair lay around her on the pillow and it was easier to concentrate on than the tubes. Although they weren't as many as the ones they stuck in my mother...
I closed my eyes, banished the memory, and then felt Warren move. He sat in the only chair near the bed and tugged me closer. I stood behind the chair with my arms loosely around him again. Ashley was now a wreck and Roger took her out of the room. Kyle was dangerously close to tears as he said gruffly, "Do what you must." And then he too was gone.
Alone with Warren and Veronica, I sat on the bed still holding his hand. He took Veronica's hand then turned to me, looking as if he was struggling to keep himself under control. "Thank you. For remaining."
I couldn't speak. I leaned over and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. He gazed at me for a second longer, tears shimmering in those heart stopping eyes. Then he turned to Veronica. He took a deep breath and his eyes glazed over.
Up until this point I hadn't fully realized what was expected of him. But now I could see that he was reaching into her mind. Apparently he was supposed to save her life. We sat like that for what felt like eons. I kept hoping that Veronica would wake up or something; anything to lessen Warren's torture.
Finally, he seemed to rouse himself. He carefully kissed Veronica's knuckles then stood up and took me out of the room. The moment we stepped out he held me tightly, as if he needed to before he snapped, and the word lifeline flashed into my mind. At Kyle's look, Warren said softly, "It is done. We now look to fate."
Kyle nodded, pulling himself together.
"We have to go," Roger said quietly.
Ashley raised haunted eyes to Warren. Keeping one arm around me, he pulled her to him. "Do not fret, Ash. I have not failed."
"I'll stay with her," Kyle announced.
"Do we have to go?" Ashley asked timidly.
"Have faith in me," Warren assured. "I deem it fit."
"Okay."
Warren looked up at Roger and nodded. Roger slipped his hands into his pockets and came up to us.
Kyle placed his hand on Warren's shoulder and their eyes met. "Thank you."
We left the hospital in my car, leaving Kyle's car. The silence in Strandton House was stifling. The moment we walked in, Warren's hand tightened on mine and Roger held Ashley closer. I looked up at Warren and gave him a reassuring smile.
Then I turned to the others. They were already on the couch. "Hey, have you eaten?"
"Yeah, Mom made breakfast before..." She trailed off and her lower lip trembled. In a quieter voice she said, "I don't want anything."
"I'm good, too," Roger said absently.
I tugged on Warren's hand and led him into the kitchen. Turning to him, I put on my best apologetic smile. "Can you do me a favor? Get Ashley away from here please?"
His brows dipped in confusion. "To what end?"
"She needs you." He didn't seem to understand, so I went on, "She needs you to talk to her, to calm her down, and that has to be away from here, away from everything."
"Roger -"
"Trust me, only you can help her now." I dropped my eyes and said quietly, "The one time I was in her position, I automatically turned to Dane. I guess it's one of the uses of a big brother. And right now, Ashley needs hers."
He exhaled softly and asked, "And the duration of this...intervention?"
"That's up to you," I said, knowing that he didn't want to be away from me. "It doesn't have to be long. Just make her feel better. I'll be right here when you get back, I promise."
"Very well." He held me tightly for a long moment then drew back and kissed my hands.
When he went into the next room, quietly calling Ashley to him, I leaned against the counter as I took a deep, shuddering breath. I wiped at my eyes to remove the telltale moisture. I didn't know how much longer I could keep it together but I couldn't afford to start weeping now. They all needed me to keep a level head. I had Roger to deal with now and I knew it wouldn't be easy.
He'd been focusing on Ashley which meant that he'd been suppressing his own pain. I'd separated them for his sake as much as hers. I needed him to pop the lid on his emotions so I had find a way for him to open up to me. I took a few more deep breaths until I was firmly under control, then I made hot chocolate and took two mugs of it to the living room. "Hey. I made us some chocolate."
He sat slumped in the couch, looking bored as stared at the TV. I sat next to him, handing him his mug. He took it absently without looking at me and set it on the table. "Of course it would have to be her."
"What?"
"Karma's after me," he went on, still yet to look at me. "Catching up, too."
"Roger, what's going on? What are you talking about?" I took a closer look at him and realized in alarm that he wasn't bored. He was losing it. "Roger?"
He suddenly frowned and there was torment in his voice as he whined, "Why is she gone? Why is Ashley gone?"
"Warren needed to talk to her."
He turned accusing eyes to me. "You made him do it! Why?"
I blinked, my heart skipping a beat. I'd never seen so much anger and violence in his eyes. It cowed me. "Roger, please calm down."
"Calm down," he echoed with a twisted smile. "And how am I supposed to do that? Veronica's got me scared shitless and now you've made sure that the only person who keeps me calm is away from me. What now?"
"You weren't relaxed around her," I pointed out.
He stood up abruptly and headed towards the back, yelling, "Of course I wasn't relaxed! You saw what state she's in! She needs me!"
"Exactly," I said, following him out. "And you need her, but she can't help you now. Who will you turn to?"
"I'm fine," he growled.
"Really? 'Cause you don't look it, and you know she can sense it. How do you think it makes her feel, knowing you're dying inside but putting on a brave face?"
He spun round to me, rage in every feature, and I took an involuntary step back. His eyes blazed at me, dark coals with an eerie fire, and I faced the fact that this was a lid I probably should have left alone...
He stalked closer to me, menace in every exaggerated step, and I backed away slowly. "Do you wanna play with me, doll? You wanna see what happens when I lose control?"
My heart was racing and I couldn't take my eyes off his enraged ones. How could eyes be such an ominous black? How could they glitter with the promise of a violent storm?
When I didn't speak he clenched his jaw. "You're just a coward hiding behind this fake therapy bullshit."
I bristled at that and pushed past my fear. "Maybe I'm not the best therapist out there but what do you want me to do? Leave you alone while you make a good impression of a ticking time bomb? You need to let this out!"
"How do you want me to do that? Bawl my eyes out?"
"Would it make you feel better?"
"Are you serious?"
I gulped and held his gaze. "Then go ahead. Lose it. Let's see what happens."
He stared at me, his fists clenching as we battled it out. Finally he relaxed slightly. "You're crazy," he declared, walking away.
"Roger, you're hurting and you can't deny that. Ashley needs you, yes, but not like this. You need to allow yourself to feel the pain."
"You don't know what I need," he gritted and disappeared.
I ran a hand through my hair, sighing. So much for that.
Now, how to explain to Warren that I'd lost Roger?