Darkness.
Overwhelming darkness surrounded me as if I was submersed in a dark deep pool. And in that pool of darkness was the most deafening sound of laughter. Hungry voices laced with lust with the back bite of a growl.
I couldn't move.
I couldn't breathe.
I awoke in a dark room screaming, the soft bed beneath me shuffling with the sound of my movements but also two little creatures who flew from my side and out the door in the span of a few heart beats. And after a few more the door burst open to reveal Boss, a gun in one hand and his other covering his wound.
"What! What is it? Intruder?" I pushed the remaining hair I had left back away from my face and sighed as I focused on calming my heart. Seeing no one else but me in the room, Boss lowered the gun and let out a breath that he had been holding.
"I'm sorry. It was just a bad dream." Pulling my feet up against my body, I allowed myself to let silent tears flow freely. Boss had seen them before so I felt no need to hide them any longer. Would I ever be able to sleep right again?
"This happened last night too. Do you need to talk to Dr. Gaffigan for help?" No. This wasn't something medicine could solve.
"No. Thank you. I just need time." Boss strode in and sat on the bed next to me, his shoulders hunched forward as if tired and defeated. A look I didn't like much on him.
"Time will help but from now on I think it best if you sleep with someone else in the room or with a light on. That way when you wake up you will feel safer." I thought about sleeping with my bedside lamp on but it was much brighter than it needed to be. Maybe I can find a new one tomorrow that isn't as bright.
"Okay. I'll do that tomorrow night." He shook his head and carefully laid down on the other pillow on my bed, not covering himself up but getting comfortable.
"Sleep Sophie. You are still exhausted. I will not allow anyone to come in and harm you and I will refrain from sliding to your side of the bed." I shuffled over more to one side of the queen bed and laid down under the covers, feeling scared yet safe with Boss here protecting me. He even had a gun. No one would come near me. Not ever again.
---Morning---
The hungry meows of two starving cats met me as the light of day shone through my walls brightly. I groaned and reached to pet them where they usually slept by my side. When my hand didn't meet fur but soft flesh, my eyes flew open to find that my hand was on Boss's bicep. My orbs moved up the flawless skin to Boss's own eyes that were looking at me with a grin.
"Well good morning to you too." I retracted my arm and hurried back away from him and fell off the side of the bed with an omph. On my back and sore, I giggled until they turned to laughter of someone who was about to go crazy.
"You okay down there?" I put a thumbs up just above the edge of the bed to let him know I was okay and untangled myself from the blankets that had become ensnared in my legs.
"Eggs, bacon and toast sound okay to you for breakfast?" As I stood, so did Boss, his own groan of pain echoing in the room.
"Sounds good to me. I'll get a shower and get dressed. And don't worry, I can get a shower on my own." I didn't look at him as he left the room, the words he just said unbelievable to my own ears.
As I had changed I noticed how some of the bruises were turning yellow after their time of healing while others were still getting darker. Unsure of how I wanted to look in Boss's eyes, I knew that I wanted to appear stronger in my own so I wore a pair of night shorts that did nothing to cover the flesh of my behind and a tank top that had the words Drama Queen written on it. Perse and Donnie scrambled around me as I readied their food and while they ate I went to work cooking breakfast for Boss and I.
Just as I finished up portioning the bacon between the plates, Boss walked out in a pair of denim blue jeans and a t-shirt that had Darth Vader on the front. Having never seen Boss in such casual clothing, I paused in the middle of putting bacon onto my plate to stare as he came over and took the other plate full of food.
"Staring won't fill that belly of yours Sophie." Oh but it was filling my imagination. He looked normal. As normal as a smart and muscular guy could look, like maybe he could have been the quarter back of his high school's football team. As he moved, his body flexed here and there and it was almost enough to fill me up for the year but my belly growled, smelling the fool and fresh cologne on Boss. I finished with my own plate and sat at the table across from him, the images of him burning into my mind.
"No suit today?" He grinned as he dove into the food with his fork. From how fast he was eating it, he was either really hungry or really liked my food. I had no hope in the latter.
"If I'm not out working then there is no need." It made sense seeing as how we were going to be here for a few days.
We made breakfast conversation and after we were both done I went to work on washing the dishes and finishing up on Boss's shirts that needed another run through the special formula and washer. While the wash ran for a bit I went to work on unpacking my things from the trip. Boss stayed in the spare room while I went around and cleaned, wiping down the counters, table, sink; hell, even the television for good measure.
I had never spent this much time around Boss before and it was becoming more apparent when even the cats started to sneak into his room to lay on his lap while he made calls and worked from the comfort of a bed.
I left him to his own devices and messaged one of the J's to buy me a new lamp that was dimmer than usual so that I could sleep tonight and not bother Boss. In the group chat with the guys, they all started to send winky faces at me and it was Johnathan who came to my rescue saying he already had one that was too dim for him to use and had stored away that he would bring over after lunch. I appreciated his help and sent back the middle finger emoji to the rest of the guys for thinking such perverse thoughts about me and Boss.
Not that I hadn't thought about it too.
I made something lighter for lunch so that Boss would have a better appetite for the dinner I had planned. Some salads with his choice of dressings and a side fruit salad. I really had no life outside of work and the more I worked around the house, the more I felt like a house wife.
The day passed ever so slowly as between having Johnathan drop by with the lamp and some groceries I had already paid him for, dinner seemed to be the highlight of the evening as Boss emerged from his room to find steak, greens, and mac and cheese. It was a homey kind of dinner but I wasn't a chef. I could do simple things but anything too crazy and it would turn out burnt.
"It all looks very delicious. Thank you Sophie." Since he had gotten here, he hadn't used my stage name but instead used my real name, a vast change from the Boss he was.
"I'm glad you think so. I know it isn't much but I didn't have all that much for ingredients to make anything grand." We sat in the same places as before and as I ate, I thanked myself for changing into something more casual. A light pair of skinny jeans and an old shirt from high school that had my graduating year and names on the back from all of my friends who signed it.
"Perhaps tomorrow I will make dinner then. I'll have Charlie get us some ingredients to make something I imagine you have never tried before." It seemed unlikely and I just nodded and thought of what it would be like to be served by Boss. My how the world has turned on its head.
"I look forward to that." We continued eating while the cats asked us for bites of the meat they smelled, and with a small boop on their noses, I told them no. Seeing resistance from me they wandered over to Boss, asking for his.
"I'm sorry about them. They are way too spoiled." He grinned and dipped his finger into the juice from his steak and put it down for them to lick.
"Spoiled like their mom." Looking around, I supposed that his words rang true but it also helped that the jobs I had supported my lifestyle as well.
"Tomorrow I will be going down to the club to see what Pam would like for me to do. I won't be wearing any exposing dresses until I heal but I can still sing."
"Until things calm down I will not be asking you to take any clients. In fact, you are temporarily being put on hiatus until I can sort this all out. I will not have you getting into danger again." I glanced up and saw the deep thought that his own words had put him into. He was really shaken up about all of this. Maybe because his wife had died and he was comparing her to me?
The mere thought put me into a foul mood as I didn't want to be compared to Boss's late wife. I was different. I had survived what most others wouldn't and walked away. Not unscathed but I walked. I was not her.
"I will still ask Pam. My contract with her is different but I can still perform. The club gained quite a few reoccurring patrons because of Seraphine." That much at least was true. And the deep thought Boss had been in fizzled away as he grinned with pride.
"Alright. As it is I need to go to my office to get more paperwork so I will be out as well." I stopped and pointed my fork at him.
"Nope. You need to heal. Ask Charlie or one of the J's to do it. You are supposed to be on bed rest." The questioning look in his eyes was asking if I was really giving orders to him but he simply shrugged.
"Yes Nurse Sophie." After dinner I finally took the much needed shower that had me ruing ever liking water. As I stripped before the large mirror, I finally got to see the bruises from every angle. Even some that I hadn't known I had. The water as I climbed in to the shower ran over my sore and tired body, cuts making themselves known as they stung and had me whimpering in pain. When I had gotten them I was unsure of but I was thankful that none were too deep.
I took my time and paid extra attention to my hair that I knew after this shower I was going to trim. The half baked appearance of it made me cringe and I couldn't believe I had allowed for it to look such a way for nearly a week now. The water ran cold before I finally climbed out. I dried off and with a towel covering my chest and hips, I went to trimming the hair I had worked so hard on. At least the cuts from Mario's knife were sharp enough to have clean breaks in my hair but it was all different lengths.
With what was left, I decided a chin-length bob cut would suit me. A few more snips here and there and I looked presentable. I even blow-dried it for good measure.
Since the lamp had been set up even before dinner I had figured that Boss would be in his own room for the night. But as I walked into my room, towel still around my body, I found him laying on my bed, a laptop sitting on his thighs.
I wasn't sure if I was supposed to change in here or not so I went to the closet to fetch my night shorts again and another more plain tank top that was the color of blood. I was just about to go back to the bathroom when Boss piped up.
"You can get dressed in here. I've seen everything before so you don't have to feel self-conscious. Also, nice hair cut. It looks much better." His fingers continued across his keyboard as if he hadn't just told me to get naked in front of him. So, seeing no shame in doing as he said, I went to the other side of the bed and dropped the towel. I went to work on putting on the clothes when Boss spoke up again.
"You don't wear underwear to bed?" I glanced back to him, only having my shorts on, and saw that his hands hovered just above the keys and his eyes looked hungry as they watched me dress. My bare back, showing the wolf he liked so much, was bare and if I wasn't facing away from him he might have seen my chest. My response came as I put the shirt on.
"It's more comfortable to let everything breathe at night. Normally I wouldn't wear clothes to bed but..." I let the rest of the sentence drop as I mentally slapped myself for saying such things in front of Boss. It was only going to hurt my heart more if I got the wrong idea.
"Naked. Got it." I didn't have to fight myself for a response because the keys of his computer started to click back to life as he drafted what I was only sure to be the most grandest of emails.
"Are you sleeping in here again tonight?" I plugged my phone into the charger on my bedside stand and sat on the bed.
"I figured it would help you sleep since this morning when I had done so you didn't wake screaming again. Though you did say some interesting things in your sleep." If the speed of my head was any faster it would have snapped and killed me as I looked to him.
"What did I say?" His fingers did not stop as he glanced over to me with a devious grin.
"Oh, a bit of this and a bit of that." Frustration pulled at me and I could see the little game he was trying to rile me into. I nudged him in the shoulder, him responding with a hiss as he flinched. My hand retreated back and I apologized quickly. But the smirk that stayed on his lips had me laying down and turning the main light off, the lamp beside me and Boss's computer the only lights in the room.
"Don't stay on that thing too much longer or I won't get any sleep tonight." A few more clicks and I could hear it shut behind me as he set it on the other stand.
"Yes, Dear." I shivered as it was like we were a couple. I tried to dash the hope in my heart as I had already been turned down but it wouldn't go away and a pooling started between my legs. Had Boss not been in here I would have just taken care of the need but he was mere inches from me.
Even after his breathing evened out into rest I was still yearning for a release. Something. Anything to get this hope and heat out of my chest. As quietly as I could manage I went back to the bathroom and found one of my secret toys in a drawer just beside the sink. And even with the man I loved being just down the hall and my body still sore down there, I gently took my release thinking only of the man I wanted most of all who would never love me in return.